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From Observation to Imagination

27/11/19

Since the beginning of our observation and experiment module, I have stopped using photographic references. The rule for the foreseeable future, is to continue to draw directly from life only.

Today I tasted some of the fruits of keeping this discipline, when I was able to draw completely from memory and imagination, using absolutely no references. It was all in my head, a (limited) yet growing personal visual library. It felt like a breakthrough.

The words of our visiting tutor Alexis Deacon really hit me in that moment: "Drawing from observation is what allows us to draw from imagination."

I loved how he talked about Newton discovering gravity from perspective alone, from simply paying attention and NOTICING. The magic of stories are in the infinite everyday.

I'm really excited to know how my internal visual library will continue to expand as my observationl drawing practice deepens.

Here is my little sequence. The character is based from the memeory of the baba I drew at the gurdwara last night.

Colour

13/11/19

An intense day of colour with Juliette. Although I enjoy using colour, it’s never been through a ‘logical’ approach. Its mostly been lead by feeling or metaphor. But I hope the following key points from the day will now take me deeper:

- Key aspects of colour: Temperature, Hue, Saturation and Tone (Value)

- Never look at colour in isolation. Everything is relative. It’s one of many as an ingredient.

- Pure black or white will always be the dominant point.

- You will always need two versions of a primary colour (warm/cool) There is no such thing as actual warm/cool colour.

- Complimentary colours intensify each other

- Value is the King when it comes to contrast

Juliette guided us through various challenges, such as desaturating a colour with it’s complimentary colour, mixing a palette of colours that shared the same tonal value as yellow, mixing a colour from observation, and mixing a colour that matched our skintones.

It’s got me curious to explore the relationship between colour and music, specifically within the context Sikh Raag. Colour is subjective, so I’m interested to know how my western upbringing will filter or influence sounds from an eastern tradition. Today on 15/11/19 I experimented my listening to Raag Bihagra, which is affiliated with the season of Winter, to be played between the hours of 9pm-12am and linked with shabads that express the feeling of complete peace and surrender. This was the outcome:

I continue to think, process, wonder and wander...

Cambridge Market and Wisdom from Charles

7/11/19

Illustrator and Printmaker Charles Shearer shared his sketchbooks with us. They were really fascinating. I loved the looseness of them, which helped me feel alot looser towards my own. I also had Charles for a 1-1 feedback for my proposal work so far, here are some things that stood out to me:

-“When I put on my apron, it’s like putting on a uniform, I am in work-mode”

- “Our sketchbooks are laboratories”

- “When I was in Art School, I remember feeling really frustrated..wondering when it would all come together...and I kept working and working and eventually it just clicked”

- “How the pencil/brush/pen touches the paper”

- “Assess the weight of the character”

Yes..I am finally going to purchase that apron from H&M I’ve had my eyes on for the past year.

We spent some hours sketching on location in Cambridge Market, focusing on ‘Character of Place’...trying to adopt the attitude of ‘the location is the character and the character is the location, they are one’.... ‘It is your job as an artist to choose what to edit and what to emphasize. These are your storytelling tools.’

The next day, when I went to the Gurdwara to continue with work for my proposal, I felt a shift in my mindset. Although technically speaking, there are many aspects that could be better (there always will be)...in terms of experience and process, I allowed myself to be free again:

Mid-Module Review (Mod1: Observation and Experiment)

30/10/19

My proposal for this module involves observing and drawing ‘people in prayer, ritual and service.’ I wrote the proposal with much enthusiasm, an enthusiasm which has waned and waxed over the weeks. I’ve had good days, but mostly bad days. I’d like to edit the advice the second years gave us from 70% to “95% of your drawings will be rubbish”. I have been experiencing alot of frustration.

Yesterday we gathered for the day to share key moments (breakthroughs or challenges) in our module work thus far. Most of us were struggling with the same issues; putting figures in context, working in layers whilst trying to develop our understanding of tone, composition, mark-making e.c.t. Despite our collective struggle, it was so inspiring to see the diverse range of work by fellow classmates, all of that talent and potential filled me with alot of excitement!

Reflecting on work has helped me to realise the progress I’ve made so far. I am gradually emerging and I feel a little lighter by honouring that. My feedback is to include more of the environment and to work on a bigger scale. This feels a little tricky for me, especially in a Gurdwara setting, where I’m trying to be as discreet as possible. The truth is that I feel more self-conscious when drawing (and making mistakes) amongst the Sikh and Panjabi community, because I’m not sure how open they are to the creative process. Their perception and definition of what visual exploration and expression can be, often feels quite specific. I feel an invisible pressure when working in that environment. However, I also acknowledge that it’s all just probably in my head. I know I must stomp away these fears and anxieties and embrace the vulnerability that comes with growth. I am an Artist and this is how I choose to experience life.

Here are some of my slightly more successful pages over the past month from the module so far. One of the noticeable developments is putting people in context to one another, grounding them and the seedlings of adding an environment. A long way to go still.

But progress is progress and I’m looking forward to lots more : )

7/10/19

20/10/19

22/10/19

24/10/19

15/10/19

Our morning started like a collective therapy session with each other and Pam. We realised that over the weeks, most of us had began to feel the same - frustrated, as if our drawings were getting worse and we were almost forgetting how to draw entirely. It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in my rut. The past week had been challenging, to the extent that on Friday I gave up after 5 minutes, took a break on Saturday and on Sunday rebelled and continued with old and familiar habits, mostly to remind myself that I could still draw (in some form at least!).

Ella shared a lovely analogy in relation to how we were feeling. She compared the process to learning the piano, how whilst one hand enjoys the freedom of the notes, and the other provides essential structure, they both struggle before they begin to fit and work together. The conclusion was that we all just needed time and practice. Pam reassured us that this frustration was a natural part of the process.

Juliet then delivered an extremely insightful talk on tonal value. Our new challenge was to begin to draw as if we were painters, isolating and blocking out shapes and forms rather than outlining ‘things’. We ventured out to practice at the Fitzwilliam musuem. Juliet had advised that if we found colour distracting, it would be helpful to focus on less saturated objects such as sculptural works. I walked around, squinting my eyes until my eyelashes met (as we’d learnt earlier) to try and decipher form. I tried to ignore colour, but found it very distracting, my eyes and judgement continuously fooled me! After a few hours we returned to the studio for a workshop. We were to use our drawings from the museum as references to make collages. It was to help us simplify the process and force us to block out shapes easier. I enjoyed the simplicity of it and looked forward to using it as a method to practice tone with my proposal.

The day wrapped up with a lecture on critical analysis, where Shelley highlighted that it was something we were to adopt and do all the time with our work - understanding how various elements influence the nature of the image and reflect on whether it was successful in it’s objective.

As the weeks pass, it feels as if lots of little doors have been opening in my mind, which although has expanded the space and let more light through, the bigger space also feels alot more challenging to navigate through. Instead of being able to use all this new space, I’m just getting lost in it. I know I have to work hard to find my way through but I have hope that all the pieces will eventually fit.

Here is a picture of both the observational drawing from the museum and then the collage that followed. As I was working on the drawing Pam approached me and showed me how the tonal value of the head was actually the darkest (despite the sculpture being white). I adjusted this is my collage…(feeling more and more unsure of which part of my judgement to trust at the moment!.)

(09/10/19) - Astrid shared her own work, whilst introducing the theme for the session - framing composition. Her work is heavily inspired by film noir and it was fascinating to see how the art of cinematography and film had filtered into her visual style. She described her eyes acting as a camera, her characters beings actors and the view a stage set. I loved the idea of 'introducing characters to an audience' indirectly via props and 'inviting the viewer to the scene' so that they had a rich experience of that place. These are all aspects that I'd never consciously considered, especially when it came to drawing from observation. My approach to observational drawing has always been 'get it down, before it moves'. The idea of editing was not in my sketchbook vocabulary.

With this new found wisdom we ventured out to the Botanical Gardens to practice. I fumbled through the day, trying to make sense of it all.. with Astrid’s mantra "you can't edit in your head". We were advised to thumbnail and explore various compositions, exhausting all possibilities until the best idea came to us. This was not easy. My eyes did not feel like a camera and I soon became aware of all the training they were due. But the more I sketched, the more it began to make sense. The excitement trickled into all of the potential for my proposal for the Observation and Experiment Module "People in Prayer, Service and Ritual".

I ended the day by jumping into the open access life drawing session. Shelley suggested I attend clothed life drawing sessions to practice a wider tonal range, specifically how fabric sits on the figure. I’m hoping to make this happen soon!

This week Pam and Juliet took us out to sketch the moving figure. Although I’m fairly confident drawing people, my attention is often on faces rather than wholesome gesture and movement. The people I usually draw on commutes are fairly still; seated or standing.

So movement has become another challenge to add to my infinite list of things to work on. I really enjoyed the session and found it quite addictive. I’m at a comfortable place in my practice where I don’t mind making lots of really crap drawings, because I trust they’ll lead me to the ones that matter (which in essence means they ALL matter).

My personal feedback from Pam was to focus on fluid line, personality and blocking out tone/colour. I began to try and instil this on the train home, but know that it will take me some time to resist certain habits.

In the afternoon Pam delivered a lecture on working in black & white and it has indeed deepend my appreciation and curiosity for the world of ink, mark-making and texture.

Above are some observational drawings from my sketchbook dedicated to my commute and some from the outdoor session of drawing people in movement.

Perspective

The realisation today was that my relationship with my sketchbook practice and physical fitness is very similar.

My cardiovascular fitness is great, but despite regular gym, comparatively my core and musicular strength is weak. In the same way, my daily drawing practice is great, it's second-nature because I always keep a sketchbook on me, however my understanding of the basics is pretty dim. In both, I've never really pushed myself beyond what is fairly comfortable.

Today as we ventured out to draw in the streets, I wrestled with my mind and eyes, trying to understand 'perspective'. I struggled to break down all of the visual information before me and found the whole process overwhelming. As I drew one rooftop, I lost my place with the next. Everything felt so big in scale, I couldn't downsize and abstract it onto paper. Forms made sense in isolation, but not in relation to. Although the 4 hour session began bubbling in the joys of mark-making, I finished feeling frazzled (after confessing to myself that the initial play was indeed a fruitless attempt at escaping the ACTUAL task).

I AM ending the day feeling positive however! And looking forward to practicing more perspective. I already feel a difference in my sense of awareness. There is indeed alot of work to do!

(Image, page from sketchbook ft. Rain)

Back to school.

After graduating in 2014 with a BA in Graphic Design and Illustration, today was my first day back to University at Cambridge School of Art for my Masters in Children's Book Illustration. I attended their annual summer school in 2018 and fell completely in love. All of the pieces fell into place and it felt 'goldilocks' right, as if the course had been specifically tailored for me.

To encourage myself to reflect and document this 2.5 year journey regularly I'm hoping to blog my experiences weekly. One of the key reasons for studying part-time (other than financial ease) is also to have space to constantly reflect on my practice.

Our first module is 'Observation and Experiment' for which I am SUPER excited. Although I've gradually built a loving relationship with sketchbooks, in the sense of keeping them close, I'll forever have an infinite amount to develop and evolve. One area I'm consious of is how I'm only really drawn to characters alone and almost always ignore any sense of place, narrative or atmosphere. I haven't challenged myself to stretch beyond my comfort zone (people and faces).

What am I looking forward to the most for this module? Honestly, it's all of the self-doubt, struggle, critique, and hard work that it will take to break through more skin, and go deeper.

I am looking forward to the privilege of guidance from wiser beings, gritting my teeth and DOING the work.

Summer 2019

I sit here nibbling on a hazelnut wafer, basking in the final weeks of summer.

Much of the past two months have been dedicated to working on a children’s picture book. (It’s almost complete). A tight deadline has meant that I’ve had little or no time for personal or sketchbook work. I’ve really struggled to make time or find the energy for it. The focus instead has been on the upkeep of my emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing, ensuring my body, heart and mind are ready to work in full capacity everyday. The remaining two weeks are very important, but this morning I’m trying to catch a little of my breath and some of my thoughts, in this quiet and cozy cyber corner.

I’m gently pushing myself back into the habit of writing and blogging. I’ll be beginning my Masters in Children’s Book Illustration next month and I hope to record and reflect on the experience very closely! Am I excited? YES! But mostly just grateful for the opportunity. I pray to be better so that I can serve better.

Last week was spent in Wales at BOSS Sikhi Camp, facilitating the Art Workshop. Together we explored zines and even collated a zine library. The ages of the campers ranged from 15-50 years old; several generations of Panjabi and Sikh diaspora, discovering the value and power of their voices through visual narrative. It was emotional. After each session I felt completely overwhelmed by the potential in everyone, wishing I could individually hold every hand and say “You are beautiful and important, please continue telling your stories and making more art!”.

Other than finishing the children’s book mentioned earlier, my hope is that the next month will be spent watering habits that matter to me most; i.e meditating and reading more, drawing and writing more. It feels as if there will always be alot of work to do, in these fields of my mind. I’m okay with that. It’s the nature of life, it keeps going.

The Horcrux

Last night I had a dream that someone tried to take my sketchbook. I was so furiously upset that I responded screaming “CAN’T YOU SEE THAT THIS IS MY ONLY LIFELINE TO SANITY, THIS IS MY ONLY ACCESS POINT!!”.

This was probably egged on by Hari’s horcrux caption, when he posted this very photograph. Over time my relationship with sketchbooks has been deepening. My relationship with the cyber world, in the context of my practice, has also been going through some changes. Although I’m drawing alot more everyday, I no longer feel like sharing. Where it once felt like an aid for self-discipline, it now feels like a hindrance. I appreciate all the people who connect online, expressing how they've been inspired to keep a sketchbook of their own and I cannot deny all of the opportunities and personal growth that have come my way from these pockets of cyber-space, but for now, I’ve found a new joy (albeit selfish perhaps) in the privacy of my practice.

The ‘almost half-way point’.

41 days on and we’re almost half-way through the 100days//100faces online sketchbook.

How am I feeling?

- Tired. Being active on social media everyday is beginning to feel exhausting. I want to hide away for a little while, but I have to show up.

- Grateful. The thoughts being expressed by others are beautiful. I’m grateful that so many people are connecting and feeling uplifted.

- Connected. Continuously being reminded of the truth that our experiences as humans are shared. We are all deeply vulnerable and fiercely powerful too.

- Disciplined. My understanding of discipline is expanding, through exploring the balance between necessity and joy.

- Progressive. My thoughts on the concept of darkness and light are constantly evolving. My heart feels the growth.

100 faces//100 days daily online sketchbook project.

I have found that putting myself in uncomfortable situations where I am committed to push everyday, due to public accountability, is when I do the most growing.

Some of my 2018 online daily projects (amidst other sketchbooks) have been:

- 30 days of 45-minute characters

- 31 Inktober drawings

All have been spontaneous decisons, just as the 100 days//100 faces is. Some of my personal objectives for this project in particular are; becoming looser with the digital medium, learning about others & the positive virtues they vibrate, developing a more child-friendy visual language with ‘real faces’, allowing myself to be open and experimental, and most importantly letting the practice evolve naturally.

You can follow the journey here.

End of Year Reflections

It’s been one of those years, where I’ve blinked and time has simply passed without consent, the second-half especially. I wish I’d taken out the time to blog and capture more, but I’ve been struggling to articulate thoughts lately.

It has indeed been a year of doing and much progression. I finally completed the picturebook “Guru Nanak The Magnificent” due to release early 2019. I’ve began working on another picturebook with Penguin, alongside other ideas of my own. Life seems to have fallen into place.

Despite the above, learning and personal growth have never felt MORE important to me, and steps to encourage that more seriously have already been set in motion.

All of my experiences remind me of my purpose and why it’s the only thing worth pursuing. I am slightly more sure of myself than last year. Whether I’m feeling exhausted, quiet or in doubt, the gentle voice of understanding lingers in the backgound. This is perhaps my biggest achievement this year, adopting a kinder voice and keeping her close (by getting to know my monsters better).

Going forwards, I’d like to keep building upon the discipline of structure/routine and schedule. It’s improved quite a bit over the years, but there is still some way to go!

Children’s Book Illustration Summer School.

I had been wanting to write down my experiences immediately as the Summer School finished, but it’s taken me a few days to process the overwhelmingly intense week it was.

The way in which it has pushed my mind to evolve and how it’s deepened my relationship and understanding of drawing, storytelling and picturebooks, is so much more than I could have anticipated. I felt so honoured to have shared a space with so many brilliant tutors and picturebook lovers, a beautiful international cocktail. What I loved especially about the tutors, was how they were such experienced professionals, dedicated but humble in their craft, who wanted nothing more than to take everyone along with them, on these internal journeys, so that others could also experience their own magic.

So what did we actually do for the week? We were asked to bring with us, a story idea, in it’s very loose text form. We then worked on character development, storyboarding (lots of thumbnailing) and finally refining to the stage of a dummy book. Now usually this is atleast a 2-3 month process, so you can imagine our stress, knowing that we had only 5 days. Although I was aware of this process, what strook me most was the level of rigour and refinement involved. We were expected to chisel away at our minds, chisel away at the stories, chisel and distil every absolute atom in that initial idea, until all we were left with was the only bit that actually mattered, the connecting point, the humanity and heart.

Alongside studio time, there were also lectures, where tutors shared their journeys/work processes/experiences in the field. They were all very enlightening, but I especially loved Marta Altes talk on the relationship between text and image as if they were love stories.

Another highlight for me, was being able to go through Pam Smy’s beautiful sketchbooks. This REALLY inspired me to push myself further in my own sketchbook practice.

The week finished perfectly with the Nuts and Bolts Children's book Illustration symposium. Every speaker was wonderfully inspiring!

Two talks that resonated with me most, were by Maise Paradise Shearring and Helen Stephens. Maise talked about the nuts and bolts that had made up her life, expressing gratitude for people who had moulded her into the person she’s become. And Helen Stephens talked about her processes, especially the practice of sketchbooks and how they tie into her work. I love her initiative of the hashtag WalkToSee as a way of building inspiration and community amongst illustrators, encouraging sketch-booking, loosening up and most importantly, getting out of the house!

I left Cambridge School of Art, with much more than a dummy book (which I look forward to developing), but also fellow creative friends, treasure chests of inspiration and the strength to keep digging deeper and onwards : )

Post-Holiday-Freshness.

We recently had a beautiful time away in Spain, full of sunshine, sea, beach workouts, ice creams, bike rides and art galleries. I kept a travel sketchbook and particularly enjoyed drawing people on public transport, it really helped me loosen up.

An insecurity I often struggle with is never feeling as if my work is ‘good enough’. It’s something I was able to work through during our trip. Seeing the earlier sketchbooks and raw unfinished works of great Artists and Painters helped shift my perspective. I felt a new confidence breathe into my heart. The question is no longer of whether if something is ‘good enough’ because there will always be room to bloom, the Universe is infinite. Although I know I have a long way to go, I still find peace and deep joy in being able to paint, draw and create whenever and however every single day. And that’s most definitely worth more than some form of ‘validation’.

This body breathes, so that it can create, manifest and experience. This body creates, manifests and experiences, so that it can breathe. And that is a blessing to cherish and celebrate.

On that note, since being back, my daily practice has now evolved into morning paintings that are also sold as originals. It’s nice to wake up knowing that I’m painting for more than just practice, that these little paintings are meaningful entities in their own right and will potentially travel to another home, sustaining the continuation of more practice!

Thank you Vaheguru, for allowing me to do what I love, everyday.

The observed

I absolutely love life drawing, however recently I’ve been finding myself on the other end a little more, being a portraiture/life model. Most may find it tedious and difficult to keep very still for set periods of time, but I’m grateful for the opportunity it gives me to focus and reflect. Or to more accurately put it, it forces me to pause and reflect. So it’s as if I’m being paid to meditate, paid to observe myself being observed, which will always have far more worth than worldly wealth (not to knock that it helps fund my picturebook shelf and biscuit draw).

In the beginning I allow my mind to wander and sift through thoughts about current projects. When my body begins to tighten and cramp, I try to focus on Gurbani or Gurmantar. Today my body felt particularly tight (perhaps because it was fatigued from the morning workout) but the discomfort soon evolved into appreciation and wonder for the yogic and ascetic practices of sadhus, and their matured relationship between body and mind.

The act of observation is an inherent part of my practice as an artist. But it is my environment and others I’m often observing, rather than myself. Being a life/portraiture model, helps remind me of my purpose again. I observe the life around me so that I can understand myself better, and build a deeper connection within.

This is important to me, because my work as an artist will only go as deep as the depths I reach within.

So go deeper, my Soul.

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