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32 : queer 🏳️‍🌈 : probably not a bot 🪤

[blogoyle]

I don’t know what you’ll be yet but I’m gonna talk to you like a person anyway - yeah?

I need something just for me

a full reset

a safe space

I feel continually let down by everyone around me, even people who tell me again and again I don’t deserve this treatment turn around and do the same thing usually after multiple years

idk if I’m the problem I know I have a lot of mental health issues (diagnosed: anxiety, depression, and cptsd suspected: adhd, on the spectrum - so all of this might be discussed at some point) but I’m hoping if I’m honest enough I can build something for me to believe in and keep coming back to

maybe then I can stop attracting people who only keep me around to prop themselves up and will never admit they did something wrong

maybe

I’m not sure

maybe it won’t be anything but a record

I think that’s okay too

[blogoyle]

no idea what the point is

no idea why I’m still trying

[blogoyle]

currently feeling like I have one foot in the void because I tried to open up to some of my closest friends about my struggles going back to counseling my therapist forgot to reschedule me it wasn’t a super big deal like you could just send an emoji but I got left on read and it’s…like y’all don’t care my family doesn’t care the counselor apparently doesn’t care and I’m PAYING HER like

idk I guess I’m the problem or maybe it’s the attachment issues or the anxiety or whatever the fuck else I have idk where do the issues end? where I do begin?

[blogoyle]

I’m honestly so tired of trying so hard and still feeling like I’m failing

the reason I didn’t want to go back to counseling is because it drags this all back up and I’m so tired!!! of having to be strong and having to fight and can’t I just…

when does it get better?