what the dog doin

a college student who plays video James

[bloodbathbyriot]

hello world, welcome to my weblog. you may call me nerdporks (i was formerly peysi)

my main interests are minecraft and geometry dash. i’m currently hyperfixating on roman history and architecture

other links:

my twitter

my 2nd twitter (more active over there)

my youtube

my bluesky

my old blog (inactive)

my gd sideblog (inactive)

also if you wanna draw fanart of me, here’s my idog-sona:

[footlongdingledong]

what if we kissed in %AppData%

[firebuug]

Visit Original Link

[maplebunie]

i can't imagine why

[gremlingirlsmell]

Visit Original Link

[lumine-sm]

Every time you reblog this post another one goes. You wouldn’t, would you :(

[minecraft]

alternative types of stone swords

[exit-path]

Tumblr Post Compilation: A Masterpost

First of all, let me tell you what you're about to see.

This is a list of 118 "funny tumblr posts" taken from YouTube compilations in 2016. I tracked down all these posts on tumblr myself in Nov 2021. The post is broken up into two parts, and is available under the cut. Each of the links is named after a snippet from the actual post (effectively the "punchline"), and clicking on it brings up the full post, which you can reblog and interact with.

These posts are nostalgic to me because I watched these YouTube compilations before I came to tumblr. I recommend you scroll through these posts, as they bring up a form of humor that's rarely seen today which, I think, has almost been lost to time. Also, if you want to learn how to do this, there's some insight as to how I did this at the end of the post.

(This masterpost is a revision of this post, necessitated because the hyperlinks don't work anymore.)

1. outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

2. Italian exchange student said “Look, the compressed horse.”

3. “im eminem!” “and I’m skittles?”

4. I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN

5. he ate the reeses cup then stabbed himself with the epipen

6. “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

7. school on lockdown because someone put weed in the vents

8. Can’t cheat with those big ass galaxy phones

9. weirdly self-conscious about wiper blade speed

10. My brother told me not to slam the door and yell “Guess who’s home, motherfuckers”

11. drove by traffic camera 6 times thinking it was funny

12. drill sergeant made kid carry around potted plant to replace the oxygen he wasted

13. A list of things that do not offend people:

14. kid grabbed seagull out of air, all his friends were like “again tyrone?? really??”

15. “LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS”

16. drunk man proposes to tree, gets rejected

17. “i’m on my way, the traffic is just slow, i’m coming” “mom i called the house phone”

18. a kid’s phone started siri, TEACHER STARTED EXPLAINING IT AGAIN

19. “watch my stuff” what if someone comes and actually tries to steal it

20. our goats think that now whenever they pee they get a treat

21. “it’s for your own good”, mom deleted the internet explorer icon from my desktop

22. a girl called me a lying slut because I was with her bf a lot. we’re siblings

23. I watched an old couple set off their car alarm and drive away… now that i think about it-

24. Rules to learning English: their our know rules

25. a kid got expelled for pretending to be russian for 8 months

26. a girl said she had two moms and a boy started crying, he said it wasn’t fair she had two

27. when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet

28. my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”

29. my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. follow for more geological humour

30. I’m saying “excuse me” but I really mean “why the fu-”

31. nun goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”

32. Hospitals are so weird

33. handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this”

34. on April Fool’s his mom called to say she was in labour, dad laughed and hung up on her

35. “why do I fear bears? because Chester Zoo is 30 miles away and bears can smell fear”

36. dropped her ipad but held tight to her pizza

37. her parents faked a british accent in front of her until she was 7

38. really religious girl who told people off if they swore, gets sworn at

39. he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

40. so i was the official shia labeouf myspace but i was in fact a 12 yr old canadian kid

41. subway thief told suitcase has “a bunch of laptops” ends up stealing a dead dog

42. “I guess working in fast food just wasn’t my cup of tea”

43. I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was

44. so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind

45. my favorite thing is ask 14/15 year old kids on dates if they want a kids menu

46. I blacked out in Disney World, woke up with Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on me

47. “wanna date me? yes: smile no: backflip” and she did a backflip

48. “do you wanna kiss” “excuse me” he pulled out a bag of hershey’s kisses

49. when beyoncé asked all the single ladies to put their hands up I looked at my bf and

50. 7th grade, his world of warcraft friends threw him a virtual birthday party

51. “she’s the bro and y’all bitches are the hoes”

[exit-path]

52. my friend came over and we heard gunshots and she was like “ooh fireworks”

53. a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg

54. teacher asked him how he got the math textbook wet, “from my tears”

55. she kicked her leg up and her shoe flew off and smashed into the ceiling

56. "if you kill someone in international waters you can’t be prosecuted for their murder"

57. “BOOKS SUCK” “yeah almost as much as you do on the weekends”

58. “lets roll out” I was like oh ok so I started rolling down the hill

59. me 3yo at a petting zoo, mom “they think you’re the mommy pig”, I start throwing them

60. “omg the reason Patrick is so clueless is because he lives under a rock”

61. I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and it was a pear and it exploded

62. “don’t do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

63. asked if I would hold his hand bc his ex girlfriend walked in with a new guy

64. sometimes i look at an imaginary camera, today the security guard came up to me

65. “YOU MET THE KID TOO?!” I have a Tie Dealer in my school

66. 6yo, in the car i was like “dad, i’m pregnant” and he hit he breaks

67. I show affection for my pets by whispering I love you as they struggle to escape

68. my grandparents met when my grandma was running away from police

69. 5yo, friend told me a "prostitute is someone who sold ice cream” so for TWO YEARS-

70. “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

71. one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa

72. “it’s trash day tomorrow”, my brother looked at me and said “it’s time for you to go”

73. “oh well, as long as i’m not late to my own funeral” he was late to his own funeral

74. last year i bought pants to exercise in, found them today with the tag still on

75. accidentally stepped on a ladybug, froze up and slowly cradles it, it was a red M&M

76. “WELL THERE’S AN ‘I’ IN STUPID TOO”

77. “i bet i can put this whole thing in my mouth” “well we know who the gay one is”

78. yelled “drop the bass” she dropped the eggs on the floor

79. “THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I’VE EXERCISED IN 18 YEARS”

80. started making up this huge gruesome story, the table next to us looked utterly horrified

81. My girlfriend sneezed and I accidentally said shut the fuck up

82. their atoms were near each other when the universe was created

83. SHE FORGOT HER ENTIRE BABY ON THE BUS

84. two pizza delivery guys arrive at same time, one sings Why Can’t We Be Friends?

85. THREW OPEN THE WINDOW, POOR GUY NEARLY FELL OFF HIS STEPLADDER

86. “My name’s Dean, and this is my son Bean.” “That’s my other son, Sean.”

87. she heard me clapping along to the friends theme song every 20min

88. blood curdling scream, neighbour spilt KFC chicken bucket all over his driveway

89. kid staples his hand, goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

90. 4yo brother scared of growing up, scared of “drinking coffee”

91. creepy movie “Who is it?” audience dude yelled “DEEZ NUTS”

92. my poem about “my evil twin” was about my twin brother

93. changed my F to an A, “you were pissing me off this week”

94. OUR PILOT WAS LIKE “i hope you realize you aren’t on a normal flight…”

95. “wHOA THERE BUCKAROO” those could have been my last words

96. i cut him off “i wanted the asshole personality but you took the last one”

97. I’VE BEEN YELLING “GRILL ME A CHEESE” AT THEM FOR 20 MINUTES

98. i don’t consider myself hip i’m like… shoulder

99. “if you’re a ghost or some shit please leave i’m too tired for this”

100. my mom’s favorite pastime is to come into my room, insult all of my life choices

101. woman arguing at the counter, she wanted grass fed organic chicken

102. left a big air pocket so the clay would explode in the kiln

103. lady shoplifting screamed “MY BABY” as she fell on the watermelon and broke it

104. tried to break up, she said “not today, greg”

105. your iphone signs your emails as whatever you get siri to call you

106. “THERE’S NO WAY I GOT 11 MILLION AS MY ANSWER”

107. my sister was like “god i need somewhere flat to write”

108. “IS HE OK WHAT SHOULD I- fuck what was I dreaming about again”

109. left my ipod in the theater so i turned on my ipod to give me some light

110. “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so the fish would die”

111. “you can’t buy pluto!” “who’s gonna stop me??”

112. dog shot up and ate the big mac in one bite

113. really mild-mannered usually but super violent-minded

114. “YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH LIVING IN YOUR LOCKER?”

115. went to their friend’s house wearing their horse mask

116. rubbing a stick of butter on her arm, “what’s for dinner”

117. dogs are descended from wolves, my pug farted so loud she scared herself

118. babysitter who cooked “people”

(why i did this / how i did this / bloopers)

[bloodbathbyriot]

Ah, I remember searching through old Calbel videos and editing a Google Doc to replace every instance of “peysi” with “exit-path.” Good times :’]

[bajn]

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

[actualsupreme-deactivated201503]

this is your only day to reblog this for a year

[hostileworkenvironment]

i missed my chance last year so this has been in my queue for 364 days

[still-playing-pretend]

😳

[taciturnaberration]

six years of fried egg tshirt…

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

🎉 10 YEARS OF FRIED EGG ON A TSHIRT 🎉

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

12 years of fried egg on a t shirt wahoo

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

everyone say in the tags what their current custom discord status is

[duckdotcom]

Computer show me the "big one"

[psygull]

a dot matrix printer slowly but surely starts producing a crude representation of a largemouth bass

[nalabug]

if "Lovecraft" then why is it Fuckedupcraft ?>

[sapphic-gengar]

no u fucken dont

[vexcite]

[pancreant]

fan art for this mythical post

[nezz-cringe-crib]

juggle that thang sisyphus.

[orithekraken]

okay guys whoever has the ball introduces themselves, no, wait, stop playing!! stop it!!

[accelldraws]

kitty bap! 🐱

[dailycatsblog]

[bloodbathbyriot]

@zedneon

[roberteggers]

The Tell-Tale Heart.  Production Design & Costume Design.

Director, Robert Eggers.  Director of Photography, Jarin Blaschke.  Puppetry, Chelsea Carter.

[rorschachisgay]

dude it’s fucking crazy Robert Eggers just has a tumblr from 2012 that has a bunch of zero note posts recording his work as a costume and production designer like years before he became a director. this is so fascinating. like there’s all this early work of a now celebrated auteur just sitting here entirely uncommented on

[ensinia-internetstranger]

Whenever I see anything about that juggling stuff it's always one of these two things

[gunsandfireandshit]