black blood @bloodnoirx - Tumblr Blog

wyntrbones-deactivated20160506

❝ you haven’t done anything that needs my forgiveness. ❞

bones unstrung, the pounding of her heart akin to tidal waves crashing against shipwrecked ribs, she slips from the titanium armor so meticulously crafted around her ( melded into the very marrow of her brittle bones, into the chambers of her heart ) && for once can he truly see her. see the decayed architecture of her marred soul, a canvas ravished by rot && death. he is the pillar where she crumbles, the altar she bows && hangs her head before. her lie is honey sweet, sincere in intent, && she hesitates, bittersweet smile playing upon the edges of her lips.

❝ no, that’s a lie, && you’d say so too. ❞ she laughs, a faltering, cracking sound.❝ i should say that you don’t need my forgiveness. not to me. i don’t think it’s worth much at this point when i can’t tell when you’ll leave or stay. that being said, ❞ she pauses, looks up at him through wet lashes && smiles, tilts her head up to press a lingering kiss to the corner of his lips,❝ i will wait for you, for an eternity if i have to. you have my heart. ❞ her sigh is shaky, smile trembling as she ( shamefully ) allows her sorrow to streak down her cheek before bowing her head into the crook of his neck ( silent, yet she clings to him as a believer does their god ).

❝ it wasn’t just him. ❞ her voice naught more than a mere whisper, dolor a knife as sharp as her lies plunged into her rotting heart. ❝ i had a daughter. trinity. ❞ her lips curl around the name, spoken akin to an empty prayer. ❝ she’s dead too. ❞

bloodnoirx

OH, FOOLISH HEART! TO RELY ON HIM WAS NOTHING SHORT OF A TRAGEDY IN THE MAKING! for he was far too cowardly to do more than just appear in memories. he was little more than a ghost, drifting through life without aim or direction, the bands of immortality having long-since cast him into eternal dread and misery. FEAR had long-since rooted itself into his heart, fear of losing himself, fear of losing the person he loved, and his response to it was simple: avoidance. it was why he so often disappeared for extended periods of time: he was afraid of loss, of rejection, and somewhere in his mind he had gained the twisted idea that he needed to leave for her to be happy. had he not been SELFISH, maybe his idea would have worked. yet, for as scared as he was, he still craved her. she represented what he had once thought to be lost; around her, he could fool himself into thinking that nothing had changed, and that they actually had a chance to be happy together. wasn’t that a pretty little lie, though?

FOR HER, HE STOOD STRONG, a pillar against the crashing waves that pounded against them and tried to consume the both of them. he would not fall when she needed him to protect her; it was the only purpose he had in this endless life. strong arms tightened around her as he attempted to soothe the cascade of emotions that were attempting to drown her, though he feared his efforts did little to actually help. no words could ease the pain she was presenting him--he knew that, he did--so he did not offer any. words really weren’t his strong point, anyway. with a determined set to his jaw, ace shifted so he could fully embrace onyx, heart heavy and conscious burning as he did something he feared he didn’t do often enough: listened.

“i do not know why you continue to wait, but i am grateful. perhaps someday we can say that it was all worth it. we cannot grow old together, but...perhaps there are other ways to mark the passage of time.”

IT WAS A WHISPERED PROMISE, words uttered with both the intent to comfort her and himself, but also to offer her an insight to his own thoughts. he so rarely spoke of the future--he lived in the moment, as thoughts of the future were suffocating at best--and this was perhaps the first time he had verbally spoken of anything other than the present. the fact that he included her was no small thing, and while this was hardly a concrete promise, he could only hope that it would offer her some small relief.

“there cannot be a future until certain things have been dealt with. i run a lot, but i always return to you. i ask forgiveness for being so caught up in what i cannot change, but...

it will not always be that way.” AGAIN, HE PROMISED A FUTURE FOR THE BOTH OF THEM. whether or not such an event would actually transpire was debatable--he wasn’t certain whether or not he would ever truly be able to relax and accept himself--but it was something. and perhaps that was what she needed right now: a promise of continuity to fight against the darkness of abandonment. it was the best he could offer.

“trinity. a beautiful name. i bet she was as beautiful as her name.”

“what happened?”

HE COULD NOT FIGHT THE PAST FOR HER, BUT HE COULD LISTEN and pray (to a god he no longer believed in) that it would be enough to help.

#wyntrbones #[ me: responds 5000000 years later #also me: cries over this still ]

PAIN MARRED HIS USUALLY FLAWLESS FACE, and he would be lying if he said each breath wasn’t an absolute a g o n y. every soft inhale and every gentle exhale felt as though he was rubbing sandpaper up and down his throat until it bled, and then continuing on with renewed vigor until his throat threatened to collapse.

HE WAS SUFFOCATING. every cell in his body was screaming at him, begging him to do something to ease the pain, which had only been increasing with the passing of each day. what had started off as a mild discomfort had quickly escalated into absolute misery, yet he continued to do nothing about it.

despite the fact it felt like his chest was steadily being crushed under an immeasurable weight, despite the fact he was certain his throat was about to give out, he did nothing. it wasn’t that he didn’t know HOW to fix it, but rather that he wasn’t WILLING to fix it.

he didn’t want to go back down that dark road. he didn’t want to wake up covered in blood that was not his own, the memories of what had happened nothing more than a distant blur in the back of his mind. it would happen regardless of how hard he fought, he knew, but he couldn’t just--he couldn’t just give in. he was STRONGER than that, or so he desperately told himself.

there was no denying the fact that he was a MONSTER. it was something he faced every time he woke up, and every time he looked in the mirror at his lack of reflection. he was a monster, and nothing was going to change that; he deserved to SUFFER.

with an unsteady, ragged breath, ace pushed himself out of the bed and onto his feet, and watched as the world twisted all around him and his body cried, legs threatening to give out as weakness surged over him. he was weak right now, fragile as his body ticked away, getting closer and closer to reaching the point of no return. did he have an expiration date? if he ignored it long enough, would he finally perish?

doubtful.

slowly, ace made his way out of the bedroom and into the living room, movements surprisingly fluid despite his current state. or maybe it wasn’t really all that surprising--the hunter within him was stirring, woken by desperation, and it was harder to seem average with those fangs pressing against his throat.

he had no words this morning. no customary greeting, no soft murmur of acknowledgement; he was as silent as his footsteps. he did not dare to look at onyx, but instead kept his back to her, attention firmly focused out the window, and he studied the dark sky as if his very life depended on it. perhaps it did.

#wyntrveined

kintsukuroi

ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵘᶦᶰ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᴬᶰᵈ ᵈᵉˢᵗʳᵒʸ ᵃᶰʸᵒᶰᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ

kuro-ichi

fatherspock

story of my life

packerlands

Ian Somerhalder icons

#& i’m only a man (with a candle to guide me) .|}

packerlands

Ian Somerhalder icons. (black and white)

#& i’m only a man (with a candle to guide me) .|}

wyntrbones-deactivated20160506

ace [ make me suffer babbu ]

send me a name && i will tell you five things i associate with it.

cozen. the laughter of men who know they will die, the quivering sigh of relief when the bullet hits the man beside you instead. rusty voices, mouthful of ghosts, praying on your knees as the dust dances around you && the resonating silence from the gods. teeth sharpened on halos, frayed wings bent && burning. when you scream louder && louder but no one hears you, the way your spine crumbles like ashes. what it feels like to be the shell of a human, shards scattered across the concrete, to see the archaeology of your own wounds.

#SAVE.#[ i s u f f e r ]