Merlin

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Merlin, how many times have I told you not to sneak into my chambers?

Merlin: And how many times have I successfully snuck into your chambers?

Arthur: ....

Merlin: Exactly. Clearly, I'm very good at it.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Gwen: Why are Arthur and Merlin arguing?

Leon: They disagree on something.

Gwen: What?

Leon: I don't know. I stopped listening after Arthur called Merlin an idiot and Merlin replied "Takes one to know one."

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Merlin, are you injured?

Merlin: No.

Arthur: Then why are you limping?

Merlin: Dramatic effect.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Merlin: I need advice.

Gwen: Relationship advice?

Merlin: No, Arthur advice.

Gwen: That's worse.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: What's the worst decision you ever made?

Merlin: Following you.

Arthur: Excuse me?

Merlin: Every dangerous thing in my life happened after I met you.

Arthur: Fair.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Merlin: Arthur, I would die for you.

Arthur: That's very touching.

Merlin: I would also like for you.

Arthur: ....

Merlin: Steal for you.

Arthur: Merlin-

Merlin: Commit several crimes for you.

Arthur: That's enough.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Why do I hear shouting?

Merlin: Gwaine is teaching the knights how to juggle.

Arthur: Why is there screaming?

Merlin: They're using swords.

Arthur: What?!

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: If you get kidnapped one more time—

Merlin: In my defense, I wasn't trying to get kidnapped.

Arthur: That's your defense?

[bloodoftheoldways]

Leon: How did the mission go?

Arthur: We lost Merlin.

Leon: You lost Merlin?

Arthur: In my defense, he wandered off.

Merlin, appearing out of nowhere: I found a cave.

Arthur: See?

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Merlin, stop making that face.

Merlin: What face?

Arthur: The one that you make when you're about to do something stupid.

Merlin: That's just my face.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Merlin: Sometimes I think you don't appreciate me.

Arthur: That's ridiculous.

Merlin: Really?

Arthur: I complain when you're gone, don't I?

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Merlin, where have you been?

Merlin: Saving your life.

Arthur: Again?

Merlin: Again.

Arthur: At this point I'm starting to think I'm bad at this king thing.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Gwaine: I have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Leon: This morning you challenged a goose to a duel.

Gwaine: And?

Leon: You lost.

Gwaine: That's not the point.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Merlin: Arthur, if I disappeared, would you miss me?

Arthur: Of course.

Merlin: Really?

Arthur: Who else would polish my armor?

Merlin: I hate you.

Arthur: And yet, here you are.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: If you had to choose between me and magic, what would you pick?

Merlin: That's a very unfair question.

Arthur: So magic?

Merlin: I didn't even answer yet!

Arthur: You hesitated!

[bloodoftheoldways]

Gaius: Why is there a chicken in my chambers?

Merlin: That's a long story.

Arthur: It's actually a very short story. Merlin found a chicken and decided it was his friend.

Merlin: In my defense, it seemed lonely.

[bloodoftheoldways]

Arthur: Merlin, you're smiling. That's suspicious.

Merlin: What? People smile.

Arthur: Not when they're around me.