Do you believe that Louis loves Harry more? Louis seems like someone who loves selflessly and puts himself aside.
I didn’t want to answer this, but I’m going to in the name of my younger self, who I think really needed to hear this.
I think the idea of “who loves who more” is immature and actually quite harmful, and I say that coming from a culture who so deeply ingrained in me the idea that heterosexual marriage would never work unless it was the man who was “so much more in love” with the woman. A lesson I’m actively trying to unlearn as I pursue relationships, because I finally figured out that love isn’t about power, and it’s certainly not about holding onto power for self-preservation. That’s the antithesis of real love. Real love is about true vulnerability, which requires power to be completely out of the conversation.
I think the only people who can decide whether the love they’re receiving is or isn’t enough, or is or isn’t given in the way they need, is the person receiving that love.
We all fall in love with different people for different reasons, and especially in long term relationships, we grow into and out of versions of ourselves constantly, and so the things we need and want evolve with us (and our lovers) over the course of our commitment. Because people outside our relationship aren’t privy to our romantic dynamic, much less our innermost thoughts, needs, and growth, they cannot decide what kind of love is “enough”, or “more”, or “less”, especially when they only know a public version of us.
That said, I don’t think either Louis or Harry loves one more than the other. I don’t think their relationship is about power, and it’s not about setting one person’s goals aside in favor of the other’s.
What I think is both you and I know nothing about what their goals are, personal or professional, and assuming selfishness and selflessness based on what little we know of how they choose to love each other and build their future is just an excuse to vilify one side of the relationship.
You’re more than welcome to do that (I can’t control you or how you think), just not on my blog or with my rubber stamp.
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