indigo appalachia @blueridgebiotch - Tumblr Blog

thestrangeforest

Lepidoptera

living-alone-in-my-world

how do you exist in the world?

I mean really truly.

how?

do

i

do

this???

alecsgrg

Cabin life | ( by Mio Monasch )

ana-elisabeta

It’s been so long

But I always make my way back here when I am losing control.

Restricting my calories again. Obsessively counting. Bargaining. Stalling. I don’t remember when food became my enemy, but it seems to have always been that way.

naturalsceneries

nakedly

questionablemotivations

There are a lot of times I feel like just…flipping the vegan script.

It’s not ‘polyester’ it’s plastic

It’s not ‘vegan leather’ it’s plastic

Its not ‘faux fur’ it’s plastic

Plastic is a pollutant and causes far more damage to the environment both now and in the future than leather or wool.

Please stop telling me that the Plastic Lyfe is the only life, it is not. My leather shoes will last a decade where pleather is lucky to last 12 months. Leather (and wool) decompose and are renewable. Plastic is neither of those.

house-of-crows

THANK YOUUUUUUU~

kinka-juice

A single wash cycle of plastic-based fiber (polyester, poly fleece, faux fur) may release 700,000 pieces of microplastic into our waters. Nasty stuff.

laurdlannister-kingslayer

aw dangit

chrisintegration-deactivated202

Wool is the most environmentally friendly fabric despite being an animal product.

noisypitta

Using wool isnt even harming sheep

chris-hansen-the-pedoslayer-blog

Sheep need to be sheered or else it will cause serious problems. It’s a mutual relationship, we help sheep get rid of the pesky wool and it gives us a very useful material.

calis-discourse

This has been a Burning Hot Take™

frighthouseofalighthouse

Also chickens will lay eggs no matter what!! That’s literally what chickens do!!! You are not eating “chick embryos”!!! If you’re worried about supporting the corporate mass farming industry, buy from a local free-range chicken owner! Almost anywhere has farmer’s markets!

anthropohedron

This is the part where we talk about how the demand for agave nectar as an alternative to honey is destroying the habitat of the endangered long-nosed bat, which lives on agave.

thehistoricalgods

Bees literally make an excess of honey, too much for them to handle. Beekeepers are helping them by taking honey. BEE MOVIE WAS LITERALLY ABOUT THIS HOLY SHIT

I’ve been a busy girl.

NikonD60 18-55mm and 55-200mm

I decided to spend this Christmas alone. There’s a lot of backstory there obviously, but it’s not really important. I didn’t feel sad about this, I felt very at peace. I love being alone, probably too much.

So I booked a tiny airbnb in Ashland Oregon and disappeared to the mountains for Christmas. I arrived to a gated little cottage, with horses and chickens and acreage for growing hay and wine. It was completely silent, save for the animals.

I explored Ashland, walked through Lithia Park and then went back to the cottage as the sun set, early. I ate take-out chinese food, rich and indulgent and and then painted my toe nails. I watched Elf and drank peach champagne out of a huge beautiful blue goblet. I got buzzed and put on my hiking boots and took Lucy on a walk in the rain by their pond. The moonlight rippled on the pond and I sat on a soaking wet swing under a giant tree and listened to the creaks echo across the valley. Lucy is pretty lazy these days, she’s so old now. She lays under my feet and waits patiently for my every move. She is my family. I smoked a bowl and went to bed early, satisfied with a quiet, peaceful Christmas eve. I woke up on Christmas before dawn, brewed some coffee and laced up my boots. Lucy and I hiked around the property, grateful for the break in the rain. I watched the sun rise over the mountains and didn’t even stop to take a picture. I just paused in the stillness of this Christmas. How wonderful it felt to be alone in the forest, cold air in my lungs, my sidekick by my side.

I spent the morning being lazy, searching the internet for the best hike to do that day. I ended up just loading everything up and heading the hour out to the summit of Mt. Ashland. I hiked a stretch of the Pacific Crest Trail and watched Lucy play in the snow.

And, wow. I’ve never seen trees like this before. It was such a sweet, special Christmas. I know that decades down the road, I’ll be spending Christmas with the family I’ve created, and I’ll look back on my 25th Christmas with longing and nostalgia. Quiet, peaceful, indulgent. Christmas.

cagedgolightly

Today

Marks 5 years free from him. Free.

That very last day, he grabbed my wrist and twisted it so fiercely, he left lavender fingerprints. I ran outside the bar and he followed. I said something nasty, I provoked him. So many eyes on us now. He punched me square in the face. I dropped. I was so tired of hiding. Bouncer holding me up like a rag doll. Sobbing. Begging to go back to my boyfriend. “He didn’t mean it! It was all my fault- I said that shit about his dad.” Red and blue lights, friends screaming. His friends pulling him away, pushing him against the brick wall at Murphy’s, “she’s just a kid what the fuck Andy!?”

My friends seeing for the first time what I meant when I said he loved me so deeply.

When you’re 19, love can feel a lot like a black eye.

I look back to how little I was then. Starving myself. 112 pounds of fear and shaky fingertips. I was miserable. Endlessly pulled by his tide. The most heavenly ups and the deepest, darkest downs.

I’m heavy now, full of gratitude and strength. A confidence in myself and my abilities no man could ever take away. I sold my belongings, packed a tiny car and moved across the country to start over. I live alone in a tiny apartment that is always filled with friends and food. I eat and I don’t bat an eye. I love and it doesn’t hurt.

I LOVE AND IT DOESN’T HURT, and someone needed to hear that today.