love letters

love letters

[nightmarevirgo]

aching numbness

feeling nothing

starts and ends with you

put on a shelf

for someone else

still stuck inside your room

hypnotic eyes

and rushed goodbyes

it all ends way too soon

change of tides

taken by surprise

on one summer afternoon

[nightmarevirgo]

i don’t understand the things you did

but i don’t think i want to

i hope that when you see her face

mine comes back to haunt you

[blushingsuggestion]

all i wanted was you

[nightmarevirgo]

I couldn’t sleep at all and the morning’s creeping closer. I can feel the coldness, we’re so close to being over. Close my eyes, don’t feel alive, I’m far from being sober.

Let me think it over. Let me think it over.

We don’t tell anybody about anything we do. October feels so warm when I’m in your car with you. Nostalgic waste, a bitter taste, you never had a clue.

Vivid déjà vu. Vivid déjà vu.

No such thing as closure. Our end is overdue. Summer in October. You never told the truth. Halloween, a summer dream, you got your first tattoo. Anything for you. Anything for you.

[blushingsuggestion]

i just want to know what you are thinking about when you look at me

[nightmarevirgo]

how do you know if you’re in love? also, is love synonymous with trust? can you love someone before you trust them?

i think that i’m still trying to find answers to this for myself! love and admiration are two feelings that live so messily in my brain that sometimes i can’t even tell them apart. naturally my brain thinks that love must come with trust, and that is what sets it apart from admiration but i also think that love is so complex! love can be different with every person that you give it to. it can feel different every single time. love with one person can feel like the heated insides of a car on a stormy october night. love with another could feel like the sun on your skin in the middle of july. i’m also not sure if love is something you can decifer or decide, i think it just happens and pays no mind to circumstance. despite having a complicated relationship with trust, love may very well come for you too. it is horrible and it is beautiful!

[nightmarevirgo]

What does silence sound like?

silence sounds like the pause right after you tell somebody you love them. like waiting for them to say it back, and the hesitation before they do. the moment right before when you forget to breathe, the deafening milliseconds in between, and the symphony of overthinking after it all. silence aches like a sore tooth.

silence sounds like another night with no call. like the empty monologue of a voicemail, or the sound of the air once you leave no message and hang up. it sounds like never having the time to call back anymore. like being alone at 3am and all that you can hear is a pitch of nothingness. silence sounds like a ringing that never stops.

close your eyes and listen.

[blushingsuggestion]

the moon loves you back

[nightmarevirgo]

i feel happy that you gave someone the side of you I never got to see. i feel dumb sometimes for wishing that the one you chose was me.

[nightmarevirgo]

[nightmarevirgo]

Write about a city 🌃

I lay on a rooftop. the sun starts to set, fading the sky into hues of orange and pink, reflecting across the sides of buildings and fusing them into one. the lights from the city streets and the inside of skyscrapers begin to illuminate the growing darkness. stories below, I can see the world moving around me as quickly as ever. all of the people colliding, spinning like teacups. I can hear the shattering all the way up here. every person easily distracted, falling in and out of love. the cracks in the sidewalk, a flashing stoplight, flickering neon storefronts. faces passing at light speed. blinded by the details. up here, I can see for miles. but my attention can be caught just as quickly. I fall in love with every stranger I see, every alleyway, every angle of this skyline. but each day, new people crowd the pavements. new cars drive through the traffic. a new sunset appears and disappears. I relearn faces and memorize the streets like it is the very first time. every day I discover this city over and over again, and I can’t stop falling in love with every detail. it is a beautiful thing to love something that is always changing.

[nightmarevirgo]

[blushingsuggestion]

the lights shine in your eyes like the city was built just for you

[blushingsuggestion]

Oh look, a place of my collective thoughts. Neato. (As a side note, I've only just discovered this and I love it so ❤️)

thank you so much my love!!! welcome 🌙✨

[nightmarevirgo]

girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! 🌙💘✨🦋💕

[nightmarevirgo]

Describe what is it like to feel numb.

dive into a swimming pool. notice the sounds drowning around you until it is silent. listen to the quiet until it rings in your ears. hover underwater until time drifts far enough away to be unrecognizable. float for 10 minutes. 10 days. 10 months. swim to the very bottom and feel the water press down on your body. focus on the way the pressure caresses your brain. when you run out of breath, rush to the surface. open your eyes and try to rub away the stinging of the chlorine.

drive down a road at night with no headlights on. look around at the blackness and let it swallow you whole. drive slowly until you lose track of which direction you came from. notice the helpless feeling of being stuck in the unknown. try to find where the road starts and stops. push on the silver pedal and jolt into the darkness. feel the seatbelt lock and constrict your chest. go 50mph in a 30mph and feel nothing.

cry in the bathroom until your brain starts to throb. feel your breath rattle throughout your ribcage. stare into the mirror at your bloodshot eyes and watch them stare back at you. let your wet face drip onto the tile floor. feel the heat radiate off of your cheeks. struggle to form your weak hands into fists. try to fight the things that you can not control until you have nothing left but blue, aching bruises. sit in the shower under the cold faucet until you start to shiver. concentrate on the dull pain.

now think of the tragedies that you have encountered. think of the tragedies that await you in the future. think of everything that has ever gone wrong. relive your sadness until your body begs for you to stop. overload your brain until it starts to spark and smoke. languish in the absence of your own thoughts.

tell me what it’s like to feel everything and nothing at all.

[blushingsuggestion]

Your blog is so perfect 🧚🏻‍♀️☺️

thank you so much angel! 🌙🦋✨