emotions

read at your own discretion

[theoptia]

Clarice Lispector, from A Breath of Life

[cupandsaucer]

Writing is a stone cast down a deep well.

Oh, Clarice.

[riotd]

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

[bluspills]

I saw it coming, and so I closed my eyes. Sometimes, when you love something, you’ll let it happen regardless of your feelings about it. Sometimes, you have to let go whether you want to or not.

I have left claw marks on everything I have ever loved and I’ve realised that hurting something does not make it stay, carving yourself into their soul will not fix anything - what you’re actually doing is carving them into yours, and the only person you will affect by doing such is yourself.

Leaving claw marks on something does not make it yours, and fighting for something does not mean that it will stay.

- BM

[bluspills]

Did you at least kiss the brick before throwing it? I want to believe you cared, even as you purposefully shattered me with an accuracy which can only be learned in practice. I know that you wanted me to hurt, but I don’t want to believe that you wanted my life to be taken in the process. Was it as calculated as it seemed or was it just too heavy for you to hold on to? Was it pre-meditated or impulsive?

- BM

[bluspills]

I never got to properly mourn you. I mourned you, of course, but I never got through it - there was no light at the end of the tunnel waiting for me, just a twisted bittersweet acceptance. How am I supposed to kiss your grave if you do not have one? How am I supposed to mourn you if you haven’t actually died? There is nothing to visit except a door you’ve locked from the inside, I will sit here with my back against it knowing that you’ll never let me back in.

- BM