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Be like snow; beautiful but cold.

(via 1112pm)

Yesterday, the delivery driver at work said things to me that really upset me. He told me that I'm wasting a valuable part of my life because of the kind of relationship I have. It's long distance, I don't know when I'll see him next, and it's at a time where I should have fun and meet people. He told me that in a relationship, you'll never know. Especially with long distance. Things like, it happens. And just because it does doesn't mean he don't love you person anymore...but it happens, and it hurts. Just because someone says they wont, doesn't mean they'll always follow through.. But i know. I've already thought about all of this. I know what risks I'm taking amd how hurt and scarred I'll be if something happens. I already know. But when he brought it up, I wanted to cry on the spot. I just didn't want to think about it anymore. But he just had to bring it up. And I know he could feel that it made me upset even though I tried to hide it...but even if I could try to find someone else here, sleep with guys I barely know just because I'm in college...I don't want to. This is my first time being so in love, and I want to hold on to it for as long as I can. I want to stay loyal and committed. If he does anything.... at least I know on my part that I remained faithful. I would rather be stupid in love and experience all the emotions than satisfy my wants in the moment only to end up lonely. I don't even know if this makes sense. It did in my head... I'm just bad at putting things into words. I know he's not my boyfriend....and it's just "kind of" in a relationship.... I'll still try my best.

#relationships #late nights #thoughts #feelings #emotions #love

What in the fuck kind of day is today. Just wtf.

I honestly do like my workplace. I've been there for over 3 years...thinking about the fact that I'll eventually have to quit makes me feel a little sad. So many people have come and gone. But I've met people I otherwise would have never talked to, and I think it's great. And people definitely come out of their shell after a bit of time and it can be fun at times. It's a restaurant, and it does get busy. So yes, it can be stressful, but at the end of the shift, it's done and over with. I enjoy talking to my coworkers. I like that we can joke around with each other and nothing is much offensive. And there's so many different people I've met there. Some I like, some I'm glad are gone. But you conversate, know their life story and stuff, and it's neat.

two bloggers in same room: you should reblog that so i can reblog it

cutting-will-always-be-my-life

kittiezandtittiez

bobasjournal

This is truly powerful to me

binny-binbin-deactivated2020062

ixstevenxi-deactivated20140727

:

In which I cry nay to the clearly Americanized versions of the Vietnamese foods above. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but I’ve always been irritated when people try to ‘glamorize’ Vietnamese cooking when the country that the food comes from is not a country of glamour. Viet Nam has always been a rough country. Cooks over there don’t have time to make your dishes look nice and presentable like this. They serve it to you in a bowl and then you sit down on a children’s plastic chair on the side of the road and you eat it. It warms your belly and then you trek on with the rest of your hard day’s work. My parent’s always told me that we eat to live, not live to eat. And that’s always been the mentality my families in Viet Nam held. So when I see Vietnamese food being changed and altered to make look nice and whatnot, it just irks me. Don’t fix what isn’t broken, American people! Gosh darnit.

Banh mi: I don’t think I see any liver pate or Vietnamese mayo. And no cha lua either! Bun bo hue: This makes me the saddest because bun bo hue is my favorite dish. But the broth is not nearly red enough. And they used the wrong kind of beef. And the wrong kind of noodles. Bun rieu: I don’t see the crab chunks. Or the tomato chunks. Or the ox tail chunks. Goi cuon: Is that peanut sauce? Because it looks awfully thin. And where is the shrimp? And why do they look so thin? They’re supposed to be almost bursting with goody insides. And carrots aren’t supposed to be there! Bun thit nuong: I couldn’t even recognize this dish. First of all, why are there egg rolls. And why are they chopped up? The meat is also way more undercooked than its supposed to be. I just. No. Pho: Do we not have meat in our pho? Or, no? Ok.

bobasjournal

Preach it. Besides the fact I like eggrolls in my bun thit nuong. But that becomes bun cha gio thit nuong and that's a different story. Otherwise, on point.

I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm lost. I'm always alone. Sure, I like it sometimes, but sometimes I just feel so lonely. I can't even be with the person I like. I can't do anything with him. And he's so fine without me. He doesn't miss me or feel the need to be with me. Maybe I'm too sensitive and shit like that. I was fine and happy yesterday, but today is kind of shitty. I'm tired. My parents make me tired. I don't come home just so it could go back to all that old shit. I'm tired of it. Why can't we just be happy and mind our own business. Sometimes, it just makes me want to leave this place again. I like being home, but sometimes I just want to get in my car and just leave. It's just so irritating sometimes, and I hate feeling this way. It makes me feel bad. Uggggggh.

I have so much to write about but idk where to even begin.

Sometimes, you make me kind of hate you.

You are closer. Yet you are still so far. The possibility of seeing you this weekend after 5 months excites me, but I don't want to get my hopes up, because it will crush me if I can't see you. I'm eager, but I can't help but feel like I am nothing to you and that maybe you want to avoid me. Where did I go wrong? I don't understand. I'm hurt. There is just no effort. I feel nothing from you anymore. I'm nervous. I just don't even know anymore. Other girls are probably much more entertaining than plain ol Iowa girl. I try so hard to optimistic, but when it comes to myself, I always seem to put myself down. I want someone who makes me feel on top of the world. Like I'm the only one for them. Not someone you just cast aside and not care how they feel. But I love you too much. I don't want to go. I don't want u to leave. I don't know. But it hurts. I just want u to say u love me, and mean it. But life happens and things change. Feelings fade, and people change. Life goes on. I'm just so...unsure. Well, it's not like you're my bf I guess. U haven't asked, and I get the feeling you might never ask. Wtf am I even thinking. What the fuck. I'm in Arizona and I should be excited to go do stuff and keep my mind off of you. Why r u always on my mind, when I am never on yours? I'm not the last person u talk to at night, nor the first in the morning anymore. I guess this is the first time I've ever been serious about anyone...I'm just too much huh. Well, whatever happens, happens. You said you'd never let me go, and that you would always try. But i feel like if I say goodbye now, you'd just say ok. And that would be the end of everything. Why do I love u so much? Why do I even care? My heart just feels tired. This distance can be so exhausting. I just want to be held by u. I'm confused with myself. What do I want. What do I feel. What is happening to me. Wtf. I'm going to bed. Fuck.

#lost #confused #upset #sad #lonely

ilmareditroppo

bobasjournal

This seriously makes me cry. I cant.

humortrain

ixstevenxi-deactivated20140727

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