du som eingong budde her @bogkeep - Tumblr Blog

hiya! hey! welcome to my bog! my name is

Theodore Severin Haiz Heartsword-Thyme

but you can just call me Haiz, really! i'm the bogkeep around here, so let me know if you need anything!

🍄 commissions are open!

🍄 twitter | bluesky

🍄 toyhou.se (overview of my OCs)

🍄 Ao3

🍄 Ko-fi (tip jar)

🍄 Etsy (art originals)

🍄 linktree

🍄pronoun cards: EN | NO

🍄 reblog sideblog @longlostpath

About Me, This Blog, And Frequently Asked Questions Under The Cut:

(photo by me, edit by songstep4002)

#art #digital art #meet the artist #the bogkeep #bogsona #new intro post <3 #image description in alt text

trying to come up with a chill and non-pressurelike way to mention that i have a ko-fi tip jar if anyone ever wants to drop a coin into my jester hat. i am not in any kind of urgent situation or immediate need, nor do i have very much to offer anyone except for my constant rambling about whatever i'm thinking about at whatever time. usually i would love to offer a little sketch or something in exchange, but i have been so thoroughly overwhelmed and exhausted lately i don't want to promise even that. there's a lot of things going on for everyone everywhere and i appreciate every kindness immensely even if it's just telling me my posts spark a little joy!!

#i also have aro/ace 101 pdfs for free on there yayyyy

omg wait do you wanna see my favorite short person accomodation i've made so far.

so the mirror cabinet in my bathroom has the knob to open it at the very top, which is Possible But Annoying for me to reach:

so i kept opening it by the bottom corner instead, which left a lot of fingermarks and felt wrong overall. it's only me in here so nobody is going to CARE.... except me. and i care. so i went looking for a suction cup solution and found this:

it's a LED bulb remover!!! i had no idea this was a thing that existed. the guy at the store who helped me find it was like "it's probably not what you're looking for?" while i cradled it in my hands whispering "it's perfect..."

#i think it's possible to create a more Aesthetic solution and maybe i will in the future #but im so happy with this for now!!! it's the perfect handle #my bathroom is like... not ugly necessarily just not very aesthetic in any way whatsoever #i want to add some vibes eventually. with time #kinda wanna put my pixel art tapestry in there but i don't feel like a bathroom is the best place for that?????

bogkeep

New Additions to my home: a second hand tower fan (VERY WISE AND GOOD DECISION MADE BY ME!!!!!) and a little side table that was on sale for super cheap BUT made of untreated wood so i'm oiling it myself u_u now that i've pulled out the drawer i like it even better, i can keep the drawer for a separate purpose >:3

bogkeep

this is probably as project-y i'm willing to go with furniture/interior stuff. i know too many people who loooove a Project and i love them for it, but i know the truth of my heart that I Won't Do Them. if it's something small and easy i can do basically immediately, then sure! but once it's something that requires me to look up how to do it, acquire tools and materials, something with multiple parts and thresholds... i can make space for One such thing and it WILL weigh heavily over me every day until i either do it or set myself free from doing it.

#just because i always get a lot of suggestions for things i can make or fix on my own #i Could! but i won't #maybe some day my capacity to fix/make will be bigger!!!#ill have more room and access to tools for sure. maybe ill feel less burnt out and overwhelmed #but in the meantime. everything is chaotic enough #im thinking about my mom talking about her ex. who's still a friend of hers and part of the czech scouts social circle #only thing i know about their past relationship is that he used to collect a whole lot of broken stuff he intended to fix & almost never did #so now my mom has a huge distaste for keeping broken stuff arouns #i learnt this when i really wanted to keep an old light switch i found in a geocache #my mom forbade me to get it and my bestie smuggled it out for me. it's a valuable treasure to me #anyway i think that guy is a bat researcher now

bogkeep

some of my better outfits from my Quirky Girl era ca. 2013, arguably the time in my life where i had the most fun with clothes and fashion for a variety of reasons:

- i was going to an artsy school with follow weirdos who were receptive to and encouraging of my Quirky Girl antics, which inspired me to put effort into dressing up in new and inventive ways :') before that i had been in a more stifling environment, which DID encourage my counter-fashion efforts, but more as a rebellion than expression of creativity - or maybe it was overcompensation, since i could not for the life of me figure out how to dress "normal" enough to escape the cruel comments of teenagers. later, when i started university, i didn't have much reason to dress up since i only had a couple lectures a week and very few classmates that i barely saw outside of it.

- both my Gender Realisation and Autism Diagnosis were imminent, but as they had not yet happened, i was at PEAK Quirky Girl. i've heard a lot of people dismiss the Kids These Days by saying they're picking up identities and diagnoses to be ~*special*~, and maybe some do - but for me, figuring these things about myself made me feel LESS special. dissappointed, even. i wanted to be like... gold star quirky girl. i wanted to be cool and unique through the sheer force of my specialness. accepting that i was autistic and non-binary meant climbing down from that pedestal. being quirky because you're autistic and non-binary is EASY MODE. i didn't want people to think i put no effort into this!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!!!! ultimately being true to myself and my needs won out hahaha

- prior to autism confirmed, i thought my sensory discomfort was due to personal failing, a lack of willpower. as fun as some of my outfits were, they could easily become a spoon drain: wrong textures, too many layers, seams in bad places, too tight, too stiff, too warm... nobody else seemed to have problems with wearing put together outfits, so i thought i just need to push myself, and eventually it'll feel fine and effortless. realising that no, i genuinely face a barrier of sensory issues, was pretty groundbreaking for me. ever since then i have done my best to prioritise my actual comfort.

- realising i was transgender opened up a whole new challenge: How Do I Get People To Perceive Me Correctly. there was a great freedom in not having to worry about this, though for some mysterious reason i felt deeply uncomfortable if anyone perceived me as hot/sexy/desireable!! wonder why!!! now that i think about it, i feel like Quirky Girl is a form of gender non-conformity in and of itself - the way i dressed was feminine, sure, but it was very much at odds with the expected women's fashion at the time. i didn't fit into any of the established alternative fashion culture, either. it would've been so helpful if i had, to be honest, as i could've used it as a guideline for gender performance, but instead i'm doomed to be forever unmoored.

anyway in retrospect i think it was very obvious how transgender and autistic i was but also it was 2013. so

#digging up these because in my head this explains why i struggle with understanding what people mean by styling #obviously these are all Styled Outfits!!!#i deliberately put all of these together!!!!!!!#i just did not know there was a specific word for that particular aspect of putting clothes on

New Additions to my home: a second hand tower fan (VERY WISE AND GOOD DECISION MADE BY ME!!!!!) and a little side table that was on sale for super cheap BUT made of untreated wood so i'm oiling it myself u_u now that i've pulled out the drawer i like it even better, i can keep the drawer for a separate purpose >:3

#the side table has so many bad reviews because it doesn't say the wood is untreated in the online listing #so i think that's why they put it on sale and apparently it sells like hot cakes (they ran out at the physical store)#but one of the reviews said two layers of linseed oil fixed it right up so!!!!!!#we're being RESOURCEFUL #the things i do instead of unpacking

Hello!! I hope this isn't weird, but seeing you get your own place has genuinely given me so much joy and hope from afar! I ended up in kind of a similar ish situation, as in I studied a degree I was passionate about abroad and then had to move back with my parents and find a Job. And like, even after I found a job everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't do that hospitality job forever and don't I want something else for my life. I do!! But it's not that easy and straightforward!! Soo idk sorry for the rant, but again seeing you have a fun time in your new flat (mostly) has made me feel like getting to move out soon and enjoying that might be on the horizon for me also :D

it's not weird, this ask sparks joy!!!! i think a lot of us are in this situation and it can feel so deeply discouraging sometimes, and people telling you what you need to do and want and how you supposedly succeed even though You Already Tried That... one of the big reasons i finally made the leap was realizing i was getting the same amount of monetary support as several other friends, who are also renting their own space, so surely it could be possible for me too (with my mom helping out with the deposit. she offered and i am very grateful for that)! circumstances are not ideal but they can be good!!!!!!!! wishing you all the best!!!!!!

everything is green now!!!!!!

#i live in a farmy area where everything is fields of crops #which means that for several months after the snow melts it's just brown and grey #haiz goes outside #also flowers and dandelions now!!!!!

bogkeep

i feel like one of my persistent Autism Struggles is that for most things, there's an Assumption of Baseline Understanding, and i seem to lack that Baseline Understanding for a lot of things so when i ask for explanations, they tend to skip the foundational aspects that will actually let me connect the dots. and i absolutely do understand that we have to have that assumption on some level, we have to trust that the people around us DO have a basic understanding of how things function, this is fine. it's just always kind of a gamble when you reveal to someone like "oh yeah this particular field of knowledge is a yawning abyss with nothing in it and i know i'm asking for a lot right now" because i also, unfortunately, deeply resent being condescended to. AND explaining something truly from the ground up is not necessarily a skill everyone has. i know. i know and i'm sorry and i'm trying.

this can be stuff like "ok you just namedropped a bunch of usamerican celebrity names and institutions i have never heard before in my life but with an air of confidence that i definitely know them and their impact on culture" which isn't even an autism thing it's a sorry for living on a different continent thing, and MAYBE it'll be explained to me under the guise of "for THOSE who live under a ROCK". thanks. other times it's like ok so there's a shortform video trend of "wearing VS styling" but nobody explains the difference. in the first shot they're wearing a shirt and in the second shot the shirt is tucked in. can someone tell me how one is wearing and one is styling or do i need to watch a hundred of these and go off of vibes. i am too fashion illiterate to understand what makes wearing a garment differently an act of Not Wearing It anymore, or why it's better. why do you start a video by saying "people don't know how to style their clothes" and never once giving a definition of styling. maybe i'm just being obtuse, maybe these people are just framing things in a catchy manner and "wearing" and "styling" are overlapping venn diagram terms and not oppositional at all, but how can i know if nobody uses their words to say what is going on. please?

bogkeep

and i do, Usually, have the capacity to tell when someone is just being vibey and when someone is at least trying to make a Statement Within A Set Framework. like i can get a Gist. i do try to not be obtuse at people. it's just that i often need to have the framework defined to file Statements correctly in my brain, and my strategy for that is asking clarifying questions. it works really well until someone treats me like a stupid baby for it but ah, whatever, i can survive that.

anyway one time about ten years ago when i was hanging out at this forum, there was a grumpy guy complaining about overhearing teenage girls at a supermarket saying "harrison ford is literally the best actor ever" which even I, The Autist, understand to be a vibey subjective statement of hyperbole. the grumpy guy was grumbling that they dared to make this statement SO thoughtlessly without CONSIDERING OBJECTIVELY BETTER ACTORS!!!!111 and this unfortunately activated my obnoxious smartypants trap card. i was a 19 year old art history student at the time and i got that he was just venting but i didn't like him talking shit about some completely innocent teenage girls and acting all snotty about it. i also, to be quite honest, don't have a good framework for "what is good acting". so i was like okay then! please define by what measure we are comparing these actors. what makes actors Objectively Good? are we measuring by range in roles or how good they are in specific roles? how big is the pool we're picking actors from, are we only doing big names or do we have to research everyone with an imdb page? do we have to watch every movie? what about actors that were FANTASTIC in one role and absolutely horrible in another. i've noticed you've only mentioned white men from a specific era and no women or actors of color, how do you know there's no bias in your judgement? anyway his answer to all of that was "some actors just have that je ne sais quoi" SO IT'S JUST VIBES AGAIN. YOUR FRAMEWORK IS VIBES

#sorry if you've heard this story five times already #he bowed out when everyone explained to him that the teenage girls were just being hyperbolic #and he acted like he had never heard someone use the word literally like that before. maybe he hadn't!#though it was a huge Thing at some point to groan and moan about teenagers saying the word literally without meaning it #im also unfortunately like this when someone tries to make 'objective' statements about art

i feel like one of my persistent Autism Struggles is that for most things, there's an Assumption of Baseline Understanding, and i seem to lack that Baseline Understanding for a lot of things so when i ask for explanations, they tend to skip the foundational aspects that will actually let me connect the dots. and i absolutely do understand that we have to have that assumption on some level, we have to trust that the people around us DO have a basic understanding of how things function, this is fine. it's just always kind of a gamble when you reveal to someone like "oh yeah this particular field of knowledge is a yawning abyss with nothing in it and i know i'm asking for a lot right now" because i also, unfortunately, deeply resent being condescended to. AND explaining something truly from the ground up is not necessarily a skill everyone has. i know. i know and i'm sorry and i'm trying.

this can be stuff like "ok you just namedropped a bunch of usamerican celebrity names and institutions i have never heard before in my life but with an air of confidence that i definitely know them and their impact on culture" which isn't even an autism thing it's a sorry for living on a different continent thing, and MAYBE it'll be explained to me under the guise of "for THOSE who live under a ROCK". thanks. other times it's like ok so there's a shortform video trend of "wearing VS styling" but nobody explains the difference. in the first shot they're wearing a shirt and in the second shot the shirt is tucked in. can someone tell me how one is wearing and one is styling or do i need to watch a hundred of these and go off of vibes. i am too fashion illiterate to understand what makes wearing a garment differently an act of Not Wearing It anymore, or why it's better. why do you start a video by saying "people don't know how to style their clothes" and never once giving a definition of styling. maybe i'm just being obtuse, maybe these people are just framing things in a catchy manner and "wearing" and "styling" are overlapping venn diagram terms and not oppositional at all, but how can i know if nobody uses their words to say what is going on. please?

#i thought i was understanding things and then a short form video trend comes crashing into everything and im just confused again #FROM WHAT IVE GATHERED. BY ASKING:#styling seems to be Different Ways of wearing the same thing #so IT IS WEARING!!!! IT IS WEARING but you can wear it in multiple ways with a variety of combos #so just wearing something thoughtlessly IS A WAY TO STYLE A GARMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#BUT PEOPLE ARE PLACING THEM AS OPPOSITE CONCEPTS!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH

drachenmagier

RAINBOW MONTH IS HERE

#unicorn

i got known youtuber jenny nicholson to watch norwegian commercials today. it was important

#i didn't think she would!!!! it really delights md #me*#the context is that fish huggability was a very important factor in the ranking of fish #and that the cod received a very mid ranking for not having a lot of cultural significance #it's a patreon exclusive video but i recommend it if you need an hour of highly specific fish hot takes

i've been living here for a full month already... and i have spent 80% of that month going like "hehe i have my own place :3 i love my new place :3"

#the joy of it hasn't subsided even a little bit not even once!!!!#even when i get into a stress spiral about money im like thank god im renting a home for myself #even when everything is in a disarray of boxes. even when im having a breakdown about laundry #this is the best thing that's happened all year #ok arguably getting the monetary support needed to be able to do this was the best thing #i love having full control over my own surroundings so much. so much #just getting to make a decision like. getting a dish rag holder for the dish rag #so it doesn't have to be draped over the faucet and touching everything all the time #huge!!!! for me

bogkeep

happy pride and happy birthday, red @comicaurora! erin had some extra capes in his backpack…

bogkeep

okay okay a quick addition

#it makes me happy that people reblog this every june :')

i frankly don't have Enough insight into my czech uncle's relationships past and present to know exactly where i want to put him on the scale of suckage and assholery. his first marriage sounds like a trainwreck involving some legal battles that probably weren't all his faults but it was Before my time, his second marriage is long over and it sounds like he was pretty awful to his second wife (whom everyone else in the family adores and wish all the best). all *i* have is just a long string of really passive aggressive and sexist remarks and gestures he's made towards me.

the only Good christmas gift he's ever given me was a fantasy lego set with the iconic dragon in it, when i was like, five or six. i played with the lego dragon for the rest of my entire childhood and treasured it long after. after that it's been a mix of cheap crap he got from work (an ugly bag with a logo on it, an alarm clock, key chains...), random makeup or a like a makeup mirror for kids (i have worn makeup maybe ten days of my total of thirty one years on this earth)... one time he got me a pair of really nice black knitted thigh highs, which was during my long socks/stripy thigh high phase (i liked wearing different colors on each leg), and just as i was thanking him for the genuinely thoughtful gift he was like "you're a big girl now, so you can stop wearing the silly colorful socks :)". another memorable time he gave a video game i had on my wishlist... to my brother. who didn't even have the console for it. like i know christmas gifts are a gauche way to measure how much someone cares about me but these are the ONLY way i have to measure how much my uncle cares about me, which seems to be Zero Amount.

anyway yesterday he said me and my friend can stay at his place if we'd like, so i asked where it is (so that i can inform my friend and her family) and he was like "oh it's in this area. i'm surprised you don't remember this, you visited with your mother some years ago, but i understand that it was for just a short while" WELL SORRY I'M NOT SUPER FAMILIAR WITH THE GEOGRAPHY OF PRAGUE YOU CONDESCENDING FUCK

#at best he's just kind of an asshole and at worst he's potentially been an abusive spouse. welp #I REMEMBER VISITING HIS NEWEST GIRLFRIEND SHE WAS DELIGHTFUL!!!!!#I JUST WANTED A REMINDER TO WHERE IT IS #it's by far not the worst thing someone has ever told me i just hate this attitude so much #i got to stay at a flat he owns when i worked at a hotel in prague in 2014 #and i stole a book from that house. it was unfortunately a neil gaiman book so im... not keeping that

CW FOR BIG SPIDERS

my friend:

me:

#spider cw #sorry to contentify our interactions i just want to share motivational huntsman spiders

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

du som eingong budde her