Boho Journal

A soul writing words on a blank page

[bohojournal]

You came back, strong again with just a simple picture you sent me meaning that you love me. I do too & I hope some day US can be.

[bohojournal]

I gave you a meeting time and place to take some time together and talk in my van. I though that I could convince you to run away with me. I don't know if I’m stupid or I just really see you. I know deep in there you want to be with me, but you don't ever let go. I can't be resentful of your behaviour, love doesn't want to let me do that. I sent you that letter asking you to be my lover, like a 2nd grader because you know, writing is more my thing than talking. I looked at you and I could see your love for me in your eyes, but you said no. You said I got better to do than to be with you, that you were not ready for this. So I’ve gone on that trip, thinking maybe you were right, that I would forget you.

Maybe.. oh well, yes! I am hiding, running away. Far away from you, I though it would be easier to forget you, to lock you in a corner of my mind. God, how can I fool myself every single time thinking that I don't care about us. I sure do, forever will.

[bohojournal]

[bohojournal]

That sex time

When you took my face in your fingers, turn it around to tell me its all ok and kissed me. Everything dissepeared around us and I felt it stronger than ever; our connection. Your eyes sparkling but sightly shaded by alcool. You were smiling, your hands around my waist and the lights of the city behind you. I couldnt stop smiling, feeling strongly bound to you again. We went in the spa, your beautiful body in a simple lingerie kit. When you moved towards me in the water, pushing me in the wall, I let my lips taste yours. Soft kisses, moist by our disire. I felt intensely attract to you, my lower body slowly getting hot by your sex appeal. Then we went in the room, got on top of each other to take off our clothes. You were shining, your lips slightly open. I kissed you on each part of your body, excited. Every touch was delicious, making me crave for more. So I went down to your feminity, gaved love to your sensuality. Then you took my hand, pushed me and got on me. I told you i love you and you said: "i love you so much, i've always loved you so much. I wanted this for so long!" This will always stays in my mind. I love you. - a girl you know

[bohojournal]

I tought I could forget you, but I still remember when you told me you love me.

#lesbianlove #endlesslove #gaypride #secretlove

[bohojournal]

A billion reason to let it go

When I was younger, I blew the candles on my birthday cake wishing for a future relationship. I wished that this relationship would become one of this kind of love we talk about in books. I met this boy when I was 16 and he became everything I ever wished for. But someday, I ran away, afraid of the casual story we had. And there started the storm of unfinished business with boys who were no more than gamers who liked to play. Today, I’m 24 and I’m bored, I’m even used to the classical sentence: « Well I’m feeling good when I am with you, but we are not together either. » I shouldn’t be use to those words, those words that cut my heart in pieces the first and the second time. The third time, I saw black around me, thinking the world was collapsing under my feet. After this hard one, I tried to see the sings saying «fuckboy», to speak to the ones with a good heart, to be funnier, more beautiful, more like the girlfriend I thought guys want. That was the worst thing to do, because I lost myself.

Now, I don’t wish for the perfect love at my birthday, but I still believe that Love is a beautiful thing. Today, I keep my head high and I don’t try to be someone else. I am a strong women with a good heart who wants to give the best of me to this world. I’m letting go of that ideal relationship I wanted and I give myself the right to be happy with myself. There is nothing more sacred then my own wellbeing.

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[bohojournal]

A dance with a soul among a billion

There was a girl, the one you wouldn’t necessarily look at among a bunch of pretty girls, but still she is handsome. All she does reveal her secret talents, every word she say sounds brilliant and her smile could make anyone smile back (even the grumpiest person you know). We kissed once, ok more then that I can tell, but she is wild you know. She doesn’t like to be in cage or to be forced to do anything she doesn’t really want to do. So she still loves this man, a man that saved her once. She still does anything for him, because he always tries the best for her. He loves her the way she wants, so it’s ok for her to stay. She told me many times how she recognize in him the light he once were, before he collapsed, and to me it sounds like the best love story ever, but I’m not him and it’s so hard for me sometimes. I accepted that she is not a part of my life like I would like to, but when I see her and i can feel her hand in mine, that’s what life could have done best for me. Each time she tells me how beautiful, strong, bold and lovely I just fall back again. Each time I look in her eyes, I am nowhere but NOW and I can assure you I NEVER felt that for anyone else. This week, we danced and I felt this connexion again, a language we talk without words. It’s just there, all the energy we both release get together perfectly. I know she is my soulmate and I’m glad I’ve met her in this world of billions souls. But I still have to love her on the surface while I feel it so deep. 

[bohojournal]

Words “feelin” your screen

There is a urge in me to start writing again, I dont know how long it will last, but I know my soul screams to my fingers to push on those letters on my laptop. I always loved to write, but it never feels right. The right moment, the right words, the right form. I always found fascinating how writers can put words together to deliver a story that grabs me in a world that never existed. Maybe that’s why I love to write and read. I’ts easier to feel a caracter’s feelings then mine and the end is already writen. A soft end, an already decided future, wich for us, in our reality, isn’t. Here on Tumblr, I can express myself freely,in a world of infinite possibilities. Everything I’m writing may never be coherent or intense, but anyway I’ll do it for my soul, and maybe your soul will be touch too. Sooooo... lets do this.