18 any pronouns// undiagnosed neurodivergent// COMMISIONS ARE OPEN// I draw stuff// pr*shippers dni// occasional 16+ content?? idk KIDS DNI JUST IN CASE// pfp by @rekhitz237
Please consider commissioning me! If you want to look at more of my stuff, just scroll through my Tumblr. I'm mostly in the Gorillaz fandom, but I also like The Walten Files, Deltarune and Undertale. Whether it's cute fluff or creepy stuff, I'll draw it! (Pls im on my knees begging I'm I'm broke af 🙏🙏)
NOTICE FOR PSYCHOTIC PEOPLES LIKE ME AND THE NEW TOMODACHI LIFE: Please please pretty pretty please be careful while playing Living the Dream, esp if you’re currently unmedicated!!!
The game treats the Miis like they’re real people and makes zero mention ever that they are not, and only ever refers to them and their POV as if they are real and you are their caretaker! While playing this honestly messed with my head pretty badly at times and made me worry a lot on if I was hurting real people/not doing enough for real people while I was playing!
I cannot imagine how much worse this would be for someone who’s unmedicated, non-dormant, or experiencing breakthrough symptoms! Do please be careful and PLEASE remember to have a way to reality check yourself while playing the game!!!
Also: If you’re not psychotic, please reblog this anyway!!! It may not seem like a big deal to you but these kinds of things are REALLY important to know for us psychotic folk in a world that is both hostile and negligent to us and our needs!!!
As a Black fem fan of horror but it gotta ~make the brain tickle~, I largely enjoyed the Backrooms movie.
But I definitely had to suspend my disbelief a bit with Clark's character as INTERESTING as he was, because (spoilers below):
1. I'm sure there probably ARE Black people that see white therapists out there... But err...? Considering society's inherent tendency to be anti-black in insidious and conspicuous ways, all the way down to how others treat us through unchecked bias—how we even have to police ourselves and how we engage with others—why WOULD Clark go see a white woman? Which leads to my next questions—
2. Where ARE we? (California) What time period are we in? (It's the 90s)... Alright. Even if Cali is known to be more progressive compared to other states—they ain't with them Police though—still much of the same. And, it's still the US. With this movie taking place in the 90s, I'm assuming after 1992... What of Rodney King? The LA "riots"? Police brutality? You telling me Clark's anger is just that unchecked or not self-policed even when engaging with white women (his therapist, wife, and hell—even the still-life)????
3. And not just them. He's the only main Black male character, and person, on the cast. He's got a young Asian woman co-worker and white man who I assume helps out every once in a while with camera things. Clark then gets them in the Backrooms and... doesn't show him thinking or hesitating (that we, the audience could assume/interpret as), "... Wait. If something were to happen to them... What does that mean for me if I make it out? 🤔" Even IF he's obsessed with proving how right he was about the existence of the Backrooms to, again, his white woman therapist—even IF he's spiraling—we (for the most part) are ALWAYS thinking about how our Blackness might influence/impact a situation. In other words, "Because we live in a racist society, will this look AND go bad for me?"
I've been a fan of Kane Pixels works on YouTube so I can only assume that this was just not thought out that deeply (which tends to happen when it comes to anything race wise beyond him). But, again, I had to suspend my disbelief to continue enjoying the show, because besides what I brought up, I did enjoy it! A LOT.
I was scared! I was disturbed! I was thoughtful! I loved the distorted memory angle. I loved the allusions to AI. I loved that the monster is YOU. I loved the use of sound and set design. I thought having Clark be an architect was clever. Of COURSE he would find the Backrooms fascinating from that point of view. I loved how the therapist even has her own trauma she's parsing and looping through.
I loved picking apart every detail and "puzzle piece" I can get my hand on. That movie kept asking me throughout, "Are you paying attention? Do you remember THIS detail from another scene?" It was fun!
So, yes. Of course I would notice the lone Black character and his handling.
And, again, I thought his character was interesting and largely believable (if we ignored the race relations and implications). I think Chiwetel Ejiofor played Clark fantastically. And I can only assume and hope he likely enjoyed playing him too. Understand me when I say I wasn't expecting him to be a "good guy". Nor am I asking for that. Is the character believable, interesting, and complex is what I largely look for. For the most part, yes, he was, but because he is the only Black man and person in the film, the optics of his anger and violence putting these non-Black people in harm's way and also being the cause of their harm (and demise) was... Hm.
In honor of an old "Tumblr saying", nothing is created in a vacuum.
For a movie that subverted expectations with character motivations, desires, actions, and even the horror monster... And the attention to detail was immaculate—I wished that level of care and subversion would have also applied to the racial implications and biases presented when having a Black main character in the film.
Because it was there with the women. I could see the film saying by showing the harm and disregard of women in the way the men and the broader patriarchal system at large engaged with or dismissed them. Again, whether personally, casually, and systemically. It wasn't blatant, but I peeped, and I appreciated it.
I wish I could extend that to the racial components but alas. That wasn't thought about and it showed.
So, what could have been done to avoid that misstep or icky feeling for Black audience members like myself?
Have Clark NOT be the only Black character in the film. Black women do exist. How interesting (and more believable) would it have been if the "therapist character", Mary, was a Black woman? Man... How lucky is the timeline that DID go that route?
Guess imma have to watch Is God Is to make up for it 😌
reading reviews and tags of backrooms (2026) makes me so fucking angry omfg. did the message go over everyone’s head????? cycles of abuse????? the immorality of the psychiatric and medical systems???? the horrors of being a woman in patriarchal society???? the horrors of being an abuse victim trying to navigate the world?????? the consequences of trying to ‘fix people’, especially men as a woman, and especially abusers as a survivor????? how trying to fix the abusive system you live under using the tools of that same system doesn’t work??????? how destructive enabling abusive behaviour, even as part of healing to ‘fix’ an abuser, can be????? is anyone listening or do you only care about the random white man!???!?!!!?????
if you're a trans woman it is very important that you're friends with people who are interested in living and living well. Find gym rats, painters, academics, devoted gardeners, gourmands, cinephiles, audiophiles, wine snobs, fashionistas... anyone who is deeply devoted to something in life, that fascinates them, brings them peace, and compels them to live. Learn from them, ask them to show you what's so good about ____. Imagine yourself as one of those anime slice of life characters who've learned that they can be satisfied (fulfilled even) with life as long as they pursue their love of __. The world is full of so much misery for us, and so many of us let that misery and hatred eat away at us until we're depressed, angry shells of people. Refuse that, choose life, choose learning how to live well. Choose enriching your senses by training them.
Hello tumblr, have this :D From left to right, they’re my ocs: Mikhail, Artem and Sasha, generals in the Vemlyan military. At least, Artem used to be before faking his death.