WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIIIFFFEEEE

I wanna rock.

[effyvescent-deactivated20220508]

I love how 99% of Criminal Minds profiles start with "we believe we're looking for a white male"

[boilinghotwhiskey]

“In his mid to late 30s”

[senoritaimperfecta]

ARTHUR SAYS GAY RIGHTS!!

[senoritaimperfecta]

For anyone wondering why buster is dressed like that for a wedding 

[glumshoe]

I’m glad that Indiana finally has its first national park and that it’s the one mostly known for having sand dunes that eat children.

[pishposh-haberdash]

how, pray tell, does a dune eat A Child

[glumshoe]

Imagine that you’re a big pile of sand by the shore of Lake Michigan, between Gary and Michigan City. Your name is Mount Baldy, and you’re a popular tourist destination at what is now Indiana Dunes State Park.

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.

The current leading geological theory as to how this happened is that the organic material you engulf, like trees, slowly decompose beneath your slopes, leaving behind unstable voids held together only by the fragile remains of the decayed material. When these voids are walked over, they collapse, forming sudden sinkholes that can swallow visitors whole. The rules that typically govern stationary dunes, or wandering dunes in areas that are not forested, no longer apply to you. You are unpredictable and dangerous and have remained closed to visitors except on guided hikes ever since.

[crowcanhavealittleknife-deactiv]

ive never wanted to be a sand dune until now

[glumshoe]

for a limited time only, you too can become an organic material slowly decaying beneath a shifting mountain of sand

[boilinghotwhiskey]

Someone stole the glue gun

[benedictervention-deactivated20]

MUSIC ASKS these are actually pretty fucking hard but why not

1:A song you like with a color in the title

2:A song you like with a number in the title

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

6:A song that makes you want to dance

7:A song to drive to

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

9:A song that makes you happy

10:A song that makes you sad

11:A song that you never get tired of

12:A song from your preteen years

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

16:One of your favorite classical songs

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

18:A song from the year that you were born

19:A song that makes you think about life

20:A song that has many meanings to you

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

22:A song that moves you forward

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

25:A song by an artist no longer living

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

27:A song that breaks your heart

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

[ice-block]

Uh oh, my WiFi’s down!

I’m now in

The gradient zone

[nene-kamishiro]

Gradient zone aesthetic:

[boilinghotwhiskey]

My school counselor wanted to check in so I sent this to him

[boilinghotwhiskey]

Being environmentally friendly is badass as hell and anyone who disagrees can kindly leave

[70sgifs]

[msjessicaday]

I HAD NO IDEA WHERE SHE WAS GONNA GO WHEN SHE SAID “SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A LOAF OF BREAD” AND NOW I’M JUST. I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND SDFUHDKJJFSDHSKJL

[boilinghotwhiskey]

But what are the chances that out of all the people in the world, the casting directors for supernatural picked the perfect cast on so many levels?

- they all have amazing political views and perspectives on mental health, such as their work with various mental health organizations and the Always Keep Fighting campaign

- they’re all best friends in real life and like what the hell it takes something special for people to connect on that level, you know when the show ends they’re still gonna be hanging out all the time and having family gatherings together

- THEYRE ALL SO MUSICALLY TALENTED literally like a classic rock band or some shit fuck

[sicklesium-moved-deactivated201]

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 

most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 

im not a pissbaby

[damncommunists-deactivated20180]

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

[zelda-tempest]

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

[lallamariamhabibi]

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

[birdpapi-deactivated20171121]

^absolutely

[verdant-witch]

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

[blackpoeticinjustice]

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

[sm0k3-ring-deactivated20160109]

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

[satyrical-prince]

Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌

[anar-tea]

yesyesyesyes

[virgils-jacket]

7. White people explored the world and found every place there were people. They left absolutely no hole unfucked. And then they wanna complain when they can’t use their expired coupons CAROL.

8. I am a white people and I don’t trust white people.

[fozzie]

“the game” is a sleeper agent activation phrase for anyone who was in middle school between 2006 and 2009 and apparently ppl any younger than that are blissfully unaware of the psychological warfare of the game

[digilici]

Tell me what it is

Tell me what it is

Tell me what it is

[the-bi-turtle-deactivated202004]

doesn’t matter, we already lost

[boilinghotwhiskey]

You’re welcome

[scumbagsblog]

Story time because this was one of the most surreal experiences of my life and I need to talk about it

So when I was sixteen I worked in a Dairy Queen in a mall (which was as awful as it sounds) and during prom season we had people that’d walk around in prom attire to kill time before the dance started.

You also need to know that among those suits in boxes you can buy at Macy’s is a three-piece American flag suit. I’m not joking.

So imagine, if you will, six white guys who were fuck-you tall all walking around the mall in this exact suit and matching white cowboy hats. Hilarious in and of itself, my coworkers and I were all cackling.

BUT THEN

My mall also had these motorized animals you can ride, they were marketed towards kids but there’s no way they’re gonna say no to an adult willing to pay $14 to ride on an elephant for half an hour

So like ten minutes after we see them, all of them come

RIDING ALONG IN A FUCKING CONGA LINE

Just these six identical cowboys each on their own animal, each animal blaring it’s own rendition of B-I-N-G-O, and I basically nearly burst into tears.

I hope they went on to start their own boy band or something.

[antique-scarecrow]

the only acceptable usage of ‘Boys will be boys’

[boilinghotwhiskey]

Therapist: so what’s your main goal that you hope to achieve through therapy?

Me, giggling: well my main goal... is to blow up and then act like I don’t know nobody harharharhar I MEAN STOP BEING SO DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME YEAH THATS WHAT I SAID

[boilinghotwhiskey]

My mother, pounding on the bathroom door: iS eVryTHiNg OK in ThEEeEEree?

Me, who’s been attempting to masturbate in the bath for the past hour: uhhh yeah everything’s groovy👍👍

[boilinghotwhiskey]

I was extremely feverish when I wrote this last night and I just want to apologize

[trashboat]