Losing Myself

[bones-fit]

32 year old.

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5’3

CW: 103 lbs (7/2026)

GW1: 120 lbs

GW2: 115 lbs

GW3: 110lbs

GW4: 104 lbs

GW5: 100lbs

UGW: 97lbs???

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Currently trying to recover from B/Ping. Taking a GLP-1 (tirzepatide) to quiet my brain and curb the binges.

Currently trying to get off my GLP-1 and not gain weight or fall into another b/p cycle 🙃

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*This blog supports recovery for all.

*DNI if you’re a minor.

*Active July 2026

[achillesinhighheels]

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time

[bones-fit]

Holy shit. I hit double digits this morning!!

I feel like it’s a fluke so I’m not officially counting it until I sit here for a while. But I was not expecting to see that number this morning.

I’m also feeling a bit scared because now I know I won’t be happy unless I’m under 100 lbs. 😬

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Jesus, it’s so cold in the hospital I have to go sit in my car for a bit to defrost. I refuse to use a blanket but shit I might have to. 🥶

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101 lbs. New Lw.

Stomach is feeling much better today.

Made an appointment for tomorrow to touch up my highlights and fix the mess of a hair cut I gave myself. Hopefully that will make me feel less ugly. I could really use a confidence boost right about now.

[bones-fit]

Well, I did it. I successfully ate my lunch at work. No one noticed, no one cared. Best of all, I didn’t bloat or get sick. It actually calmed my stomach a bit. All the stress and anxiety for nothing.

Who would have thought?

[bones-fit]

I’m fully aware I do this to myself.

Restricting, binging, purging, GLP-1, vaping, and constantly eating my trigger foods are all contributing factors.

I’m working on doing better but my gi flares are getting more frequent and it’s really taxing on me. I need to see a doctor but I am afraid and don’t even know where to start. I’m just frustrated and exhausted at this point.

[bones-fit]

Bringing my ground chicken and rice to work instead of a Gomacro bar. Scared to eat it tbh. I’m the coworker who never eats real food so changing it up might bring unwanted attention & comments. Plus it’s such a bother to reheat food. But I’m trying to avoid pea protein rn and am very limited in what I can eat. I’m so over these weekly gastrointestinal flares. Every time I think my stomach is better I eat something to trigger it all over again. 🫩

[bones-fit]

I’m so pathetic

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Sitting here at work listening to my coworkers talk about dieting and calorie deficit like “psh…amateurs..”

[bones-fit]

2,200 calories today ✌🏻

[bones-fit]

Doing my indoor walk.

My husband “why don’t you go walk outside?…”

Me “there’s people out there. And they say things like ‘good morning’”

[bones-fit]

Up 2 pounds. It’s water weight I tell myself for the 365th day in a row. (It is indeed not water weight I am just fat.)

[bones-fit]

Damn this month’s period has me so irritable and angry all week. I literally have argued so much with my husband about stupid shit. Usually I can keep level headed at work but I want to fight everyone: patients, nurses, and surgeons included. I’m over people. I’m usually anti-social but this week it’s been beyond that. I just want to curl up in a ball and be alone.

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Just had a mental breakdown and cut my hair to my collar bones. I just blacked out and kept cutting. Really hoping it looks okay in the morning when I style it. Why am I like this?

[bones-fit]

Period is coming and weight is increasing. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Work was hell yesterday and today is only going to be worse. How the fuck is it only Tuesday. 🫩

[bones-fit]

Weigh in (102 lbs) ✔️

Coffee✔️

Strength workout ✔️

Walk ✔️

Feeling accomplished. ✔️✔️

At some point I’m supposed to eat but fighting myself about that…

Gotta take my measurements, shower, and run to Target. Then I will couch rot and clean the rest of the day. I love Fridays.