netzwerk/ [hiatus]

My name's Rye. Elias Rye. I'm not as cool as James Bond, but I occasionally like to think I am. I'm no agent of the Queen, either. Just a history student and part-time hacker. Sometimes it's where I just get the best sources for my essay. Anyway, check...

[bonfirestarter]

                           “Yeah, uh... Happy New Year.”

Elias had never expected that New Years Eve -- once loved by him; a reason to hang out at a pub with friends til the break of dawn -- could ever slip on the list of ‘worst days of the year’. But then again, his counselor warned him of it. Last night proved to him that he still was the jumpiest ball of worry, flinching at every firework echoing, ringing through the streets.                            Like gunfire.

[onceuponamusing]

                       a thousand suns have SET;                                 a thousand more shall RISE.

                       not all of them combined will K N O W                                 what i have seen with these E Y E S.

[bonfirestarter]

The train ride was sort of relaxing. But only sort of. His mind circled around the upcoming confrontation. What if that was a prank and he’d stand there alone? Not very likely. What if rat face did show up – but not alone?

That thought had crossed his mind a few times, actually. He seemed like that kinda person to always have someone support him – or to do the dirty work for him. Back at the club, Elias had noticed very well that he was up to some asshole that spent most of his time sitting around. He really wasn’t the problem. At least not in the physical sense. The only thing that made him a problem was the fact that he got his dirty hands on his data. He’d definitely need to get that fixed if he survived this…

Even if he did decide to show up with some fixers, it wouldn’t be that much of a problem. If they were as stupid as the one he’d met earlier… oh well. The only thing that made them dangerous was their lack of self-control. If they acted based on their feelings, not much thought in it, he did best not to startle them. Intimidation wouldn’t be so clever, either… shit. That was a problem.

Sometimes plans were needed. Sometimes they weren’t. This was one for case two. Better to spontaneously act.

The station came up rather quickly. Maybe he was the one to be quicker this time? But first, he had to actually find that ruin of a bar. Elias stepped out of the L-Train, trying to gain orientation. That road didn’t seem familiar… oh, that one did. Down that street and he’d be at Jay’s house. Maybe he should stop by there and kick his ass. But that could wait… Still, he went down exactly that road – if he remembered correctly, there was a sidestreet leading to some pretty fucked up buildings, mostly deserted he hoped. Probably never ever seen renovation in their time. He hoped that the odds were in his favour in another aspect of this night. Hopefully he’d find it first shot…

Nah, o’ course not. Once there after a walk that was more of a sneak since he heard some people talk loudly just a few houses away, it seemed like nothing. Shit. Wasted time. The ex-soldier carefully circled the ruin. Probably had been a shop once. Or just an appartment house. Why had he even assumed that he’d find it so quickly? How naive of him. Yet he continued to roam around the block. Poorly maintained houses… last time he’d been around buildings like that, it was to save his ass.

         Now it was to put it on the line.

In his opinion, it took him way too long and a couple of streets until he finally came across a suspicious sign. Used to be neon lights. He had to use his mobile as flashlight to make out the words it used to light up. Sunset Beach Bar. Hallelujah.

The Brit slowly approached it further, looking for any way to get inside after making sure no one was around to see him attempting a break-in. Not that it would’ve mattered… The doors and windows were all boarded up, but it’s been like that for quite some time. Some of the planks seemed like they were loose. Probably because some people liked to use it as hideout? Shelter? The weather helped to tear down the wood, too. It only had to be empty now, though…

A window at the side seemed to be the easiest to get in. Two boards to get loose and Eli would be able to slip inside. It involved some climbing to get into the actual position to easiest tear the wood down, which involved quite some pain. And it definitely was the best to hang onto a ledge to break into some place if one had an injured shoulder. The pain was worth induring, though, as the window was now cleared enough to slip through.

He was greated by a dark, dusty space. Time to get his make-do flashlight out again… it definitely used to be a bar, that was for sure. The bar counter was still there, bar chairs strewn all over not too far from it. The rest seemed pretty much smashed. The walls confirmed his worry that this was some occassional hangout point for some people - grafitti all over. He didn’t know much about grafitti, but they weren’t really… creative. Or nice.

The real big difference to a bar, though… was the lack of people.

                                 He was there alone.

[djxd3f4lt]

[ Time always went on slower when he was waiting for something. Waiting for an ultimatum, that moment where everything would turn out just r i g h t. It was moments like this — rushing to get somewhere in time with his head going back and forth, multitasking that kept him alive. He felt like a predator chasing down his prey. Right now, he wasn’t just a hacker hiding behind a screen — he was out on the field. He was doing something important - something that mattered to him.

FInally he started closing in on the Wards areas, but on the way he had to multitask more. Making phonecalls while driving wasn’t really his strong point, but with a wireless headset built inside the mask made it all easier. Maybe five fixers — that would be enough for tonight. Just one like before didn’t cut it; this guy was strong, too strong to just be taken down by him on his own. Defalt should have seen it coming before. Shouldn’t have been so naive and arrogant. Well — that was a lesson he should have learned many years ago. The dark, lights off neon sign greeted him with a chilling feeling, his gut telling him that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea to begin with. Eh, too late now. Besides, this was gonna be interesting. He wasn’t here to get a chuckle out of the other, he was there to put down his foot and show who was the boss. Once and for all. But first…He couldn’t just barge in. The door on the back was a better option for now.  Leaving his car locked with a backpack on his side, he went for the alleyway to get around to the back of the building. As it looked like, he was the first one there. Bingo. He knew this city like the back of his hand. Now the only thing he needed to do was to act quick and don’t second guess himself. Stay arrogant, stay confident. Be yourself. The backdoor had already been broken in, but it wasn’t something that surprised him. Kids enjoyed places like this, used it as their second home when the first one wasn’t enough. Slowly creeping inside, his mask became his flashlight in the narrow corridor. He turned around quickly, heading into the entrance area and — …What the fuck?]                   “….—Oh. Hi.”

[bonfirestarter]

The fact that he was alone really threw him off. In some way.

He had clearly expected to arrive late for the party. He usually did come late after all... A few minutes in, he had explored pretty much everything he dared to already -- basically just the main room and a hallway behind it -- he went back to the bar counter. He slightly leaned against it to test if it would actually still hold some weight... yup, it did. And so, still carefully, he leaned against it. It could've been more than just likely that the wood would have been as brittle as the rest of this building. There was more room upstairs but the stairs didn't seem that secure anymore.

What now, though? Waiting. For how long? No fucking idea. Elias sighed. Another moment to appreciate his stupid decisions of the night. They really deserved a freaking award. And it was another moment where his exhaustion crept up on him. Woah, nope. How about fucking no. He couldn't just think of sleeping just now. He had to focus on... whatever. Whatever was to come for him now. But still... if he was tired, he was risking to give away some of his advantage.

Deciding that maybe just resting his eyes would be a good thing, the young man closed his eyes. He focused on his ears to do the surveillance for him. He had done so in the past, it was part of his job to keep all his senses open to sense danger, so it... shouldn't fail him right now, should it. Shouldn't... hopefully.

It was mostly quiet.

Quiet. Quiet. A shuffling! Followed by squeaking. Fucking rats-- Quite quiet besides.

Another squeaking. This time, it certainly wasn't a rat. It sounded like a door being opened. He'd seen a door out in the corridor before, and he had assumed it was a door leading outside somewhere. So, who might be coming...?

Eli stared out into the dark corridor -- not as dark as before anymore? His eyes had adjusted to the gloomy setting of the room, so he immediately noticed the light coming towards the bar room. His body was tense and ready in case it-- ah. No need for that.

It was a rat after all.

As soon as he recognized the other, he tried his best to seem calm and relaxed. But his muscles were still tense and ready to jump if they needed to.       "For a few moments I thought you were seriously going to ditch me", the Brit sighed, trying to sound disappointed, hurt. "Would've prepared a drink to talk over but -- this place is bone dry."

He had his eyes fixed on rat face, even if the light made him even more annoying to look at. Somehow he'd been surprised that there where no more footsteps out in the hallway. What? He really came alone? No way. No fucking way. He didn't think that this ass was really as stupid as to make the same mistake twice in a night -- to face the ex-soldier alone.

      "I gotta say... really nice setting for this. Even if the interior designer should get fired..."

Ugh. Pulled back in last seconds. He wanted to voice his thoughts on that part from the beginning. He wanted to throw it at his face that he did not fall for his bullshit. Completely alone my ass. He didn't wanna seem like he had actually believed that part-- On the other hand -- he did.

If rat guy actually was as presumptuous to show up alone; good for him. But if he had learned from his failure earlier... why not let him believe that he was a true mastermind if it came to fooling people? Would, in certain circumstances, may help Eli keep calm in surprising, unexpected situations.

Act easygoing, nonchalant -- but ready to strike.

      "So... let's talk about this like adults now, shall we..."

[bonfirestarter]

Elias shifted again to ease the pressure on his shoulder and slowly sat up on the bedside. Cuppa. Good idea. He got up, taking the mobile with him. Just in case there was a reply…

Funny, though. He found himself enjoying this little fight ‘o snappy texts. Definitely was a change. A welcome one, to be honest. He leaned against the table in the little make-do kitchen corner, heating some water, as the phone announced another couple of messages. Maybe he shouldn’t reply so quickly in his half asleep mode… but oops. There he went.

                  [text]: tbh i’m here to check out the chicks                      …                   [text]: forever choosing chicken over pizza

Reading them through again after he hit sent, the Brit couldn’t help but laugh. His humour and jokes went along with the time of the day, growing more and more awful with every passing minute. He almost felt bad for the stranger on the other end and played with the thought of apologizing – but, then again?

They were acting like just as much of a jerk.

[hackxr]

[!!!] » Acc░ss ▓rant▒d~:

A thin brow raised at the reply that she received and a small chortle escaped. Well, at least she wasn’t the only one failing at witty replies this evening. 

        [BLOCKED NUMBER]: yikes that was bad         [BLOCKED NUMBER]: i mean come on, chicken?         [BLOCKED NUMBER]: fail joke was fail 

sen7inel stared at her phone, her eyes glassed over and gaze dull, becoming more and more mentally unable to reply with witty one-liners. Giving a quick shake of her head, the hacker tried to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes. Man, she needed to get some sleep. But this was almost becoming fun. Almost. 

        [BLOCKED NUMBER]: guess wat         [BLOCKED NUMBER]: ill let u try again

[bonfirestarter]

The Brit had retreated to the bed once more, sipping on his tea. He wondered how much longer he'd stand that stranger. Plus, sleep seemed truly tempting right now. He made a decision. A quick one. But it was a decision nonetheless. So he only needed to wait for the other end to reply.

True. That joke had been fucking cheesy. No, a real fail. Other end was right. He was already thinking of how to get his decision through when another couple o' messages rolled in...

            [text]: nother try at what?             [text]: whatever             [text]: good luck trying to reach that person u actually wanted to reach

But after a moment of thinking, he couldn't help but add that one extension to his decision...

            [text]: if you're brave enough we should meet tomorrow             [text]: fite me irl             [text]: over a coffee or sumthin

[djxd3f4lt]

sorry for the long post but before i needed to pass out I thought i’d post these. uwu Sarah @skvgga Elias @bonfirestarter

[bonfirestarter]

@codenamezeus1118​ continued from [x]

       No way.                                        No fucking way. That had not been a normal shove. That strength was inhuman -- well, since he didn't look like one of those huge wrestlers of which someone might expect strong shoves like that. But no--

It was fun how that thought only crossed him now, now that he was finally able to breathe decently again. What the actual hell...?! He took a deep breath, pushing himself away from the wall, but was still standing unsure on his feet. Elias took the hint. He shouldn't counter this with a question on his side. So first... reply. If he wanted or not. Might as well keep it short...

       "Intuition", the young man said dryly.        "Had a suspicion you might be up for no good."

It sounded dumb, even to himself. What the heck did he think when he decided to follow that shady guy?! He obviously was up for no good. No need to ask about that-- The least thing he wanted to show now was his growing panic after realization struck, though. Best was to try and continue to act as if he had the situation in control. Probably.

       "So, what ... what the hell are you?"        Oh, great. 'nother smart move.

[bonfirestarter]

It took a few moments until the young man joined him at the table he’d sat down at; carrying two pints with him, setting them down before sitting down. “I really don’t know if this is any good, I don’t normally stop by here.” He shifted on his chair a bit until he was comfortable, taking the moment to take a good look around the pub. All clear.

It was now that he had noticed the fact that he was the one with the wall in the back now. He had grown accustomed to people not paying attention to that small detail since he never actually voiced his preference of not having his back exposed to the room… letting him end up nervous through the whole stay wherever they sat at. It was more than obvious that Steve knew soldiers and their quirks. And he was grateful for that.

Elias raised his pint in an implied toast, he smiled a little. “On the fact that we’re not trapped in rubble right now?” After taking a big swig of the beer, he was confronted with a problem he had already dreaded to face.

How should he even start that story? Was he really gonna tell it at all?

A few moments of silence followed. His eyes were focused, watching something that wasn’t there. He tried to sort out his thoughts. He tried to remember where it all went wrong and wanted to find a point before that from where he’d be able to start… which took a bit. Until the silence felt too uncomfortable.

“Middle East. It’s still hell if you look at it now and… sorta makes your efforts feel completely pointless”, the young man sighed. It was one of the worst feelings he’d encountered throughout his life. To give the most of themselves, with the best of intentions – still ending up making it worse. Shaking his head, mostly at himself, he directed his gaze back at the man sitting pretty much opposite to him.

“Adds to making it all look like a big failure to me.” And again he found himself hesitating to continue.

[cameoutofabottle-archive]

Steve chuckled and waved his hand. “It’s alright. I’m really not picky. Thank you for the pint.” He raised his own glass when Elias did, smiling softly at his toast. “Yes, absolutely. To that.” 

He brought the glass to his lips and took a good sip. It actually wasn’t bad. But then, his taste for alcohol was simple enough, so he wouldn’t notice if it was completely terrible. Steve settled back against his seat, stretched his legs out, and crossed his ankles, though his muscles were wound tight, ready to spring to his feet should anything else happen. 

He didn’t stare at Elias, wasn’t expectant in any way. If the man changed his mind, then it was fine, he wouldn’t press. But he did notice that stare, that gaze that told him that the other man’s mind was in another place, just as his own was so often in another time. Steve glanced out the window, watching as emergency vehicles came and went, police cars leaving the mess of rubble they’d left behind while more fire trucks came in to work on clearing it out.

Then Elias was talking, and his gaze flicked back to the other man, his features soft with understanding. “It might feel pointless, and like a failure,” he agreed quietly, brows knitting together in concern. “But the least we can do is say we tried. Those battles were not for nothing. You gave people hope, and some of them are still fighting back. That’s not a failure.” 

[bonfirestarter]

As soon as Steve turned his eyes on him, Elias slowly averted his. Now he was the one watching the world behind the windows. Quite a lot of vehicles driving past. Hopefully everyone got out in time... or had their even been anyone else? Huh, weird--  The other's words quickly stopped him from letting his thoughts slip away to something off-subject, though. Yes, true. They tried. Sometimes just trying wasn't getting the job done, though. He was about to object when --

'You gave them hope.'

Hope? That was probably the word that struck him the most. And he clearly found himself thrown off guard. So far, yes, he had assumed that they'd given them hope. But so far he always thought of it as... bad. The bad kinda hope. Because they gave them hope and a glimpse of better times -- only to disappoint them, fail them, extinguishing their flicker of light in the process.

Now if he thought about it again, taking the phrase that followed into account... changed his view on it. Yes, they did keep on fighting. And they succeeded. Two months after the incident, they had taken back base and town. Still, he didn't know who made it through, though. Especially in the immediate time after the overthrow. Also, did they even keep on fighting because of them?

The young man suddenly felt unsure. Why did he fade out some things when it would make him feel much better? Why did he feel so bad about that subject, hope?

Ah... because he ran. Of course.

Sighing, Elias mumbled beneath his breath as he reached for his pint and took another big sip of his beer. "... still a lot I'm not proud of..."

[flayedfacade-deactivated2013100]

Reblog if it is okay if your muse is hurt, severely injured or tortured in RPs.

[bonfirestarter]

//

i knoooow i haven't been on much of the weekend i'll be back on monday, latest on tuesday <3

[bonfirestarter]

Now that he thought of it, if rat guy actually chose a ruined place as their setting, it was another advantage point for Elias. He doubted that this asshat of a person spent as much in places like that as much as he had. In bombed buildings… like that one building. He shivered as he his mind slipped into memories he didn’t need right now. No need to think about the worst time of his life. Since this night might ended up topping it… also, he doubted that a place as ruined as that one actually existed in the middle of Chicago. Boarded up was enough for him. Or simply deserted. One thing good about remembering what happened was the sudden raise in adrenaline. Which only rose further when his phone finally anounced another message. Seemed like there was another one having problems with finding a fitting meeting point. Well… hallelujah, glad that someone respected his wish to meet somewhere not-so-modern. So there shouldn’t be much tech involved, making it fair. Well, not really since that would put Eli into advantage yet. But the decision had been made. No take-backs!

             [text]: nah              [text]: but i’m sure i can find my way there              [text]: give me some time

One of the texts had been a straight-out lie. Elias had not only heard of The Wards, but had been there just two days ago. His helpful friend, Jay, had settled down there since he couldn’t afford any other place to stay. And through him he’d heard quite a lot that definitely didn’t make that place… inviting. Poor people equalled high crime rates. Well, not necessarily. But this was one of the places at which that definitely was the case. Gang activity made sure of that. Made it a place that someone should definitely not turn up at during night. Wait, what’s the time again? Oh, yeah right. Night. This was certainly going to be great…

The young man got up from the couch, turning off the TV. What would he need? Phone, obviously. The gun? … meh, one could never be too careful. He normally stowed the gun away safely, but this time, it went into his jacket along with his smartphone. It somehow felt strange to carry a gun around like that. But he didn’t wanna risk any more things. His bag over one shoulder, he hesitated as he stood in front of the door. This was absolutely bonkers. Completely and utterly stupid. Yet still he couldn’t keep himself from grinning? He grinned like a fucking idiot… Soft humming indicated another message. The reply was easy.

             [text]: meet you there.

With that, he was out. Not too far from his hotel was a train station. The L-Train would be a quick travel option, since he doubted that any taxi driver wouldn’t question his demand to get into The Wards so late. And he wanted to avoid being considered some gangster. He had about three stations in that area he could get off at, planning to get off at the first one and work his way to that Sunset Beach bar from there. This genuinely felt like some kinda spy mission going on. Agent Rye. What a childish comparison.

Once on the way he had the time to think again. Elias was surprised himself. He was actually starting to enjoy this game. He failed to pinpoint the exact reason for these feelings, but he just did. It felt good having something to do again. Even if it was just playing with a rat. And trying to get out of this conflict alive.

… which got into quite the paradox with the fact that this felt like            a reminder that he was alive.

[djxd3f4lt]

[ Finally. That was the cue, his final sign to let him know he was able to get a move on.There was no time to sit around and wait it out — He had to leave right away. But first…Phone calls. Just a few had to be made before he could actually feel safe with leaving. He never left anywhere without Plan B, ever. His fixers were always on speed-dial, always had been. Punks like this one didn’t change anything. Even though he had sort of promised to come alone. Or did he even do that? No idea. But he didn’t had any time reflecting upon that. Oh no, right now he had a mouse to trap. And he was just a little further away from his goal. Chicago were always so occupied during nights like these. It seemed like the worst time to be out chasing for someone, but that busy part only concerned the Mad Mile. The rest were as dead as always, especially in The Wards. He really hated that place with a passion, mainly because it reminded him too much of home. Not the best place he wished to be at. With all of his items finally gathered, he darted back out to the car. Locked his door and hinged his gate back on, smartphone hooked up to a Power Bank as he was on the way to the decided location. If Elias only knew — Or maybe he did? It hadn’t struck him until now. Perhaps he knew what he was facing — And he wasn’t discouraged. Unlike Defalt, he was brave. Didn’t hide behind others with a shield in a shape of another persona. No, it wasn’t the time for this. His main target was on the way and he was already late. Hurry, hurry. Perhaps he could get some time before the other woulds show up…Maybe. Defalt threw himself into the car once more and started it up before driving off into the center of the city, heading for the less crowded parts of the city. Sunset Beach Bar, here I come. ]

[bonfirestarter]

The train ride was sort of relaxing. But only sort of. His mind circled around the upcoming confrontation. What if that was a prank and he'd stand there alone? Not very likely. What if rat face did show up -- but not alone?

That thought had crossed his mind a few times, actually. He seemed like that kinda person to always have someone support him -- or to do the dirty work for him. Back at the club, Elias had noticed very well that he was up to some asshole that spent most of his time sitting around. He really wasn't the problem. At least not in the physical sense. The only thing that made him a problem was the fact that he got his dirty hands on his data. He'd definitely need to get that fixed if he survived this...

Even if he did decide to show up with some fixers, it wouldn't be that much of a problem. If they were as stupid as the one he'd met earlier... oh well. The only thing that made them dangerous was their lack of self-control. If they acted based on their feelings, not much thought in it, he did best not to startle them. Intimidation wouldn't be so clever, either... shit. That was a problem.

Sometimes plans were needed. Sometimes they weren't. This was one for case two. Better to spontaneously act.

The station came up rather quickly. Maybe he was the one to be quicker this time? But first, he had to actually find that ruin of a bar. Elias stepped out of the L-Train, trying to gain orientation. That road didn't seem familiar... oh, that one did. Down that street and he'd be at Jay's house. Maybe he should stop by there and kick his ass. But that could wait... Still, he went down exactly that road -- if he remembered correctly, there was a sidestreet leading to some pretty fucked up buildings, mostly deserted he hoped. Probably never ever seen renovation in their time. He hoped that the odds were in his favour in another aspect of this night. Hopefully he'd find it first shot...

Nah, o' course not. Once there after a walk that was more of a sneak since he heard some people talk loudly just a few houses away, it seemed like nothing. Shit. Wasted time. The ex-soldier carefully circled the ruin. Probably had been a shop once. Or just an appartment house. Why had he even assumed that he'd find it so quickly? How naive of him. Yet he continued to roam around the block. Poorly maintained houses... last time he'd been around buildings like that, it was to save his ass.

         Now it was to put it on the line.

In his opinion, it took him way too long and a couple of streets until he finally came across a suspicious sign. Used to be neon lights. He had to use his mobile as flashlight to make out the words it used to light up. Sunset Beach Bar. Hallelujah.

The Brit slowly approached it further, looking for any way to get inside after making sure no one was around to see him attempting a break-in. Not that it would've mattered... The doors and windows were all boarded up, but it's been like that for quite some time. Some of the planks seemed like they were loose. Probably because some people liked to use it as hideout? Shelter? The weather helped to tear down the wood, too. It only had to be empty now, though...

A window at the side seemed to be the easiest to get in. Two boards to get loose and Eli would be able to slip inside. It involved some climbing to get into the actual position to easiest tear the wood down, which involved quite some pain. And it definitely was the best to hang onto a ledge to break into some place if one had an injured shoulder. The pain was worth induring, though, as the window was now cleared enough to slip through.

He was greated by a dark, dusty space. Time to get his make-do flashlight out again... it definitely used to be a bar, that was for sure. The bar counter was still there, bar chairs strewn all over not too far from it. The rest seemed pretty much smashed. The walls confirmed his worry that this was some occassional hangout point for some people - grafitti all over. He didn't know much about grafitti, but they weren't really... creative. Or nice.

The real big difference to a bar, though... was the lack of people.

                                 He was there alone.

[thatsecondday-blog]

Study the science of art. Study the art of science. Develop your senses - learn to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.

Leonardo da Vinci (via thatsecondday)

[djxd3f4lt]

there’s too many freaking shenanigans in this fucking group chat

[hackxr]

// #notenoughshenanigans

[bonfirestarter]

#notenoughshenanigans x2 i'm tempted to put up the short comic snooo rt

[angstmemes]

haunted starters

“I swear there was someone there…” “Very funny! What’s next? The phone starts ringing while the cords not in?” “I had a dream last night, only it was so vivid I could have sworn I was awake. In it I was killing you. I didn’t want to… but I couldn’t stop myself.” “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “Wherever I look I keep seeing these eyes staring back at me…” “Did you not hear that?! They’re whispering your name!” “Don’t move, be quiet. There’s someone in the bed with us… Don’t wake it.” [ text ] Don’t open the door when you hear knocking. It looks and sounds like me, but it’s not me! “I got the strangest phone call last night and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.“ “Something is going to happen to you and you’ll never be the same again.” [ text ] Run! “You can see me? But you’re just a mere mortal… Interesting.” “You were talking in your sleep last night… and something responded.” “You know I don’t buy into that whole ghost thing, but this is starting to freak me out.” “You think I’m going to believe you didn’t just write this note yourself to scare me?” “Oh no, I’m not going to kill you… You’re going to kill yourself and I’m going to watch.” “When I peeked into your room last night… I saw someone sitting on the end of your bed.” “This was a bad idea… I’m beginning to think there’s more to those stories, after all.” “Stop it! That’s not even a language and I’m to believe you’re possessed or something? It’s not funny!” “Nice costume.” [ text ] Someone just opened your front door and sneaked inside… Get out! “If you weren’t singing… then who was?” “You’re dead! I was there at your funeral!” “Please don’t be scared. I’m still the same person… dead or not.”

[bonfirestarter]

“Indeed. The truth should be the focus… but details are welcome, too”, he mused. He knew very well that not all people set priority of truth that high. Nowadays… that wasn’t the most important thing. “The focus will probably narrow down on you as time progresses–” Elias immediately stopped that sentence. It was probably another something he was confronted with enough. The fact that it’s already about seventy years…

He could barely imagine how painful /that/ had to be. To wake up from frozen sleep to find everything you knew… gone. All you held dear left in the past. Even the thoughts of it sent shivers down his spine…

By now, the both of them had reached the pub. The young man opened the door, holding it open to the other before entering himself.He was glad to find that there weren’t too many people around. It seemed too early for hitting the pub. But then again, he didn’t know if there was a ‘too early’ for some people. Brits and their drinking…

“What do you want? I’ll get it for ya, you can sit down somewhere.” It was a small gesture to indicate that he wasn’t planning on sitting at the counter – where the most of present people sat – if he’d talk. Was enough if one pair o’ ears were listening.

[cameoutofabottle-archive]

Steve nodded, offering the other man a small smile. The focus… He didn’t want the focus to be on him, not for anyone. But there wasn’t any way to stop it. Of course people were going to be interested in him. They already were. He’d had requests for biographies, for interview upon interview though he already felt like he’d done a lifetime’s worth of interviews.

He thanked Elias for holding the door and moved past him into the pub, glancing around. It was a nice little place, friendly enough. Steve looked to the other man again when he asked what he wanted. “Oh ah- I’ll take a pint of whatever they’ve got on tap. I’m not picky.” 

He was going to take his time drinking it, anyway. And he really wasn’t picky at all. Leaving Elias to get their drinks, he found a nice pair of chairs toward a corner, and seated himself in the one with his back to the door. If Steve knew anything about soldiers, it was that most of them were uncomfortable with having their backs exposed. He’d give Elias the chance to feel comfortable here. That didn’t stop him from shifting his chair a bit so he’d have at least a partial view of the rest of the pub.

[bonfirestarter]

It took a few moments until the young man joined him at the table he'd sat down at; carrying two pints with him, setting them down before sitting down. "I really don't know if this is any good, I don't normally stop by here." He shifted on his chair a bit until he was comfortable, taking the moment to take a good look around the pub. All clear.

It was now that he had noticed the fact that he was the one with the wall in the back now. He had grown accustomed to people not paying attention to that small detail since he never actually voiced his preference of not having his back exposed to the room... letting him end up nervous through the whole stay wherever they sat at. It was more than obvious that Steve knew soldiers and their quirks. And he was grateful for that.

Elias raised his pint in an implied toast, he smiled a little. "On the fact that we're not trapped in rubble right now?" After taking a big swig of the beer, he was confronted with a problem he had already dreaded to face.

How should he even start that story? Was he really gonna tell it at all?

A few moments of silence followed. His eyes were focused, watching something that wasn't there. He tried to sort out his thoughts. He tried to remember where it all went wrong and wanted to find a point before that from where he'd be able to start... which took a bit. Until the silence felt too uncomfortable.

"Middle East. It's still hell if you look at it now and... sorta makes your efforts feel completely pointless", the young man sighed. It was one of the worst feelings he'd encountered throughout his life. To give the most of themselves, with the best of intentions -- still ending up making it worse. Shaking his head, mostly at himself, he directed his gaze back at the man sitting pretty much opposite to him.

"Adds to making it all look like a big failure to me." And again he found himself hesitating to continue.

[vikander]

Captain America: Civil War - Trailer!!!!!!! 

[bonfirestarter]

Elias dusted himself off a bit, too, especially his dark blonde hair seemed to have caught quite the dust. He wasn’t too focused on getting himself all clean, though, as it wasn’t really any of his concern what impression he might be giving off. The pub wasn’t far away, he could already see it, down the road, across the street.

He was actually quite surprised as no follow-up question followed. Most people asked for the reasons of things right away. Steve belonged to the few that didn’t. He really appreciated that. Maybe if the time was right and the subject still up?– no. No good idea.

The Brit grinned a bit. “How could they not be curious about you, huh?” “But I get what you’re sayin’. Books always suffer from subjectivity at one point or another. Authors’ problems.” He loved to dig around that kinda part of history. Finding out the difference between what everybody thought right, and what actually happened. And he was sure that in WW2, a lot of things had that.

Anyway, he wondered if someone like Cap would ever get tired of telling people about stories like that. If it carries a feeling of nostalgia or if it still carried pain. At some point, he’d probably stop passing on his memories to people. Being fed up with it. But that was probably just his selfishness showing. It seemed selfish to him to stop sharing stories just because they were tired of them.

So, why the fuck was he still refusing to share his story?

He sighed a little at that thought. Maybe this was the way to go. To talk about it to someone that knew how it was, was more familiar with these feelings. Always better than to talk to his therapist. Man, that woman could be truly persistent. “Well, if you really wanna know, I’ll tell ya. But I’m gonna need more than a beer accompany my ramblings.” He wasn’t a drinker, but that sure needed a bit more alcohol to get through. It was an indirect offer to the other man to join in on that. He’d still be buying of course.

[cameoutofabottle-archive]

An indulgent smile pulled at his lips at the other man’s question. Curious was a word for it, certainly. Some people were especially considerate, hardly asking him any questions at all no matter what the subject. Others, the historians especially, liked to dig into his time during the war, to ask all the questions they had ever had. Steve had spent hours and hours with historians, answering questions. Others still liked to dig into his private life. They asked about Peggy and Bucky, Howard and the others from his old team. Steve didn’t like sharing those stories with anyone outside the circle in which they’d been created.

That circle had grown painfully small anymore.

“It’s not so bad, really. It’s good for people to know the truth of what happened back then. S’good for them to know the stories of the heroes that have been left out of the books.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow in surprise when Elias offered to tell him his story. Maybe it would be good for him to talk. If he’d learned anything visiting Sam at the VA hospital, it was good for people to talk, even if it was hard and painful to do so. “Sure thing. I don’t wanna pry, but if you’re open to talking about it, I’d be glad to listen.”

He’d considered time and time again joining back up. Maybe he could do more with the Army than he could with SHIELD. It’d be a different ballgame entirely, but Steve was never sure. He didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere in this world, really, but he did what he could.

[bonfirestarter]

"Indeed. The truth should be the focus... but details are welcome, too", he mused. He knew very well that not all people set priority of truth that high. Nowadays... that wasn't the most important thing. "The focus will probably narrow down on you as time progresses--" Elias immediately stopped that sentence. It was probably another something he was confronted with enough. The fact that it's already about seventy years...

He could barely imagine how painful /that/ had to be. To wake up from frozen sleep to find everything you knew... gone. All you held dear left in the past. Even the thoughts of it sent shivers down his spine...

By now, the both of them had reached the pub. The young man opened the door, holding it open to the other before entering himself.He was glad to find that there weren't too many people around. It seemed too early for hitting the pub. But then again, he didn't know if there was a 'too early' for some people. Brits and their drinking...

"What do you want? I'll get it for ya, you can sit down somewhere." It was a small gesture to indicate that he wasn't planning on sitting at the counter -- where the most of present people sat -- if he'd talk. Was enough if one pair o' ears were listening.

[xghostempire-blog]

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