These Men Don't Read (but I do)

DB's F1 Romance Review Sideblog | main @pookietsunoda

[bookie-tsunoda]

I Read That Toto Wolff Romance (So You Don't Have To)

IDK if y’all remember a post that made the rounds a while ago, a F1 romance about a journalist, a “hero with Toto Wolff vibes,” and “dirty talk… in German!” If any of you wondered what on Earth could be going on in such a book, I hope this review will answer all of your questions.

Coming in Hot is about a serial-numbers-barely-smudged version of Toto Wolff. (Lowkey, not fond of people publishing RPF, but anyway.) Not-Toto then hooks up with, and eventually falls for, an American F1 reporter named Natalia. Unlike other F1 romances, the book’s minimal amount of racing is decently accurate, and it was suspenseful enough to keep me reading. However, the dialogue can be pretty cringy, and the romance plot strains the credulity of anyone who knows much about F1 or journalism. Both main characters are highkey annoying. There are some funny moments and a bit of industrial espionage (which ultimately goes nowhere), but it’s not even interesting enough to justify its questionable concept.

Special thanks to my German consultant Senta @maxedes and my early English literature consultant Nest @nest-of-shiny-things. (Both of these will be relevant.)

Overall rating: 2 out of 5 Tire Compounds 

🛞 🛞 / 5

To start off, I would just like to note that this book is not available in my library system, so I had to do an interlibrary loan from a city two hours away. And then had to ask for it in person from the front desk. As questionable as I find this concept, I don't believe in pirating books from indie authors. Such humiliations I will suffer on behalf of enlightening the public.

Striving reporter Natalia Evans has just landed a gig at Auto Racing Journal, a prominent motorsports publication. While waiting for her friend Phaedra, a race engineer, Natalia strikes up a flirtatious conversation with a *dreamy* middle-aged Germanic gent at the hotel bar. Sorry, if you're going to psyop me into thinking that German is a romantic language, you're going to need to try harder than this.

His eyes are dark as puddles of ink, and oh the things he's writing with them... "Are you shy, kleine Hexe?" I know only a smattering of German but am pretty sure this deliciously bad man just called me a little witch. (5)

Anyway, the two rush up to the man’s palatial suite and have mind-blowing sex. (Starting on… page 9. Y’all wasted no time with this one.)

When her friend Phaedra calls, Natalia realizes with horror that the shag of her life was with none other than Phaedra’s boss, billionaire stakeholder and team principal Klaus Franke. Despite getting up close and personal with this man, and being a literal F1 journalist, Natalia conveniently does not recognize him until AFTER their, erm, amorous pitstop. Klaus also leaves a pile of money for Natalia, figuring she may or may not be a sex worker, and she leaves in a huff. (She doesn’t take the money though. In this economy?)

We interrupt this programming to bring you a Brief German Interlude from our pal Senta over at @maxedes. First off, she let me know that Klaus is a terribly stuffy name she associates with grandparents. Second, “kleine Hexe” does mean “little witch,” but it’s a weird thing to call someone flirtatiously and seems a bit insulting. It’s also the name of a children’s picture book. (Full answered ask here.)

Natalia finally does her job (researching prominent F1 figures) and discovers Klaus is Austrian and “a tragic widower.” (They fridged Susie!) Overall, there’s criminally little work to disguise that Klaus is supposed to be Toto. It’s even listed as a selling point on the author’s Instagram. Klaus is Austrian, very tall, with dark hair and dark eyes. He's also a former racer who amassed his billionaire fortune through tech and finance. The man on the cover is Toto-shaped, and the car in the back looks suspiciously like the Mercedes W13. Klaus and Phaedra’s team, Emerald, also has a similar green and silver color scheme to Merc. The main difference is that Klaus is a widower, and his deceased wife Sofia was his childhood sweetheart. (Klaus is also a bit younger, at 45 instead of in his 50s.) 

There’s hints of a vastly more interesting subplot involving sponsor drama and… host country human rights violations? Klaus learns that sponsor Basilisk Tech has decided to abruptly drop the team. Klaus suspects that Basilisk is pulling back because Emerald is investigating Basilisk’s possible ties to human rights violations in an unnamed Middle Eastern coded nation, which is angling to host a future GP. Sponsor drama and human rights violations are F1’s bread and butter, so this subplot does get points for accuracy.

Something that does NOT get points for accuracy, though, is the German. Brief German Interlude! Ex. Klaus swears, “Sohn einer Hündin,” which Google-translates to “son of a bitch,” but Senta informs me that “Hundin” literally just means “female dog” in German and isn’t actually a cussword. (Apparently the correct swear for this situation would be “Hurensohn.”) Klaus calls his coworker Klara “Klärchen,” and refers to Phaedra as “Schatzi." Both are real endearments but wouldn't be used in these contexts, and they come off as unintentionally condescending. (Senta’s in depth commentary can be found here.)

At the first race in Australia, Klaus and Natalia run into each other because of their work obligations. Klaus apologizes for assuming Natalia was a sex worker during their, erm, frontal collision in Abu Dhabi, and they go on a walk around Melbourne. Both insist that it would be unwise given their line of work to see each other again… right before they make out in public on the street. Klaus does get props though for seeming genuinely sorry and not being the type of MMC that seems to get off on tormenting their love interest. Which is a low bar, but is unfortunately a bar we need. 

The two lovebirds quickly start doing dating behavior (calling, sending gifts etc.), without even the perfunctory angst I’d expect for how bad of an idea it is. They later meet up during another GP weekend in Barcelona and kiss at a popular tourist location, which is fucking NUTS to me. Like the city must be CRAWLING with F1 fans who would definitely recognize Klaus and/or Natalia. It really is NOT giving forbidden romance because these two are even more brazen with their PDA than the Louvre robbers, and they’re not even wearing high-vis vests.

Anyway, several things happen in the following chapters that obviously violate journalistic ethics. (Which I did look up, courtesy of the US Society for Professional Journalists, the New York Times, and a journalism professor.) The most obvious being, don’t date or hook up with sources, and don’t cover your friends or romantic partners. And not for no reason. Natalia is at one point tempted to prevent unflattering coverage of Klaus. She later drops a story in part because it might damage Emerald, and by proxy, Klaus and Phaedra. More on that later. Natalia also accepts free plane tickets and lodging from Emerald to cover their community event, and she’s gifted things including a five-figure emerald necklace by Klaus. Accepting free travel, lodging, or gifts are more journalism no-nos. 

Look, it may seem like I’m complaining that the plumber in a porno is using the wrong wrench. I mainly dislike how unprofessional and highkey incompetent Natalia is, especially as a woman in a male-dominated field. Natalia is aware of misogyny in her industry and claims she has always wanted to prove herself as a serious reporter, not just a pretty face or a sexual object. At the same time, she’s also literally perpetuating stereotypes that female reporters are unprofessional and just exist to bang their male reporting subjects.

Additionally, Klaus and Natalia have barely any reluctance around dating, even though it actively harms the jobs they supposedly care a lot about. This is narratively convenient but actually undermines the tension of the romance plot. It’s not a forbidden romance if the characters have zero qualms about engaging in it, and if they can just carry on however they like in public and somehow never get caught, because every fan in Barcelona conveniently has face blindness or something.

Phaedra and Natalia keep having arguments, which happen entirely off page and are only referenced in the text. I assume probably happen in the series’ previous book that centers Phaedra, but it’s fucking annoying. I can barely get through one of these books, and I’m not putting myself through another just to make Natalia’s arc make 5% more sense. Sidenote, Phaedra is a race engineer, but she’s also hooking up with her driver???? And she’s a nepo baby (daughter of Mo Morgan, CEO/ owner/ public face of Team Emerald). The HR department of this team must be a real nightmare.

During the Montreal race weekend, Natalia finally decides she’s ready to box for a second Amorous Pitstop. She then gets upset when Klaus is busy with work (on a grand prix weekend… as a team principal). And because he’s hiding team related business from her (...an F1 journalist). While waiting for Klaus, Natalia receives news from Phaedra that Phaedra’s father Mo, the team owner, is having serious health issues. Natalia had apparently asked Klaus if Mo was okay, which he didn’t feel comfortable answering. For whatever reason, Natalia decides to get mad at Klaus for not telling her? God forbid a man respect medical privacy.

Natalia decides to start a fight and says that their relationship was a bad idea, expecting him to disagree and like, ‘fight for her’ or whatever. And then she’s mad when he won’t argue with her! So she makes a big show out of leaving, hoping he’ll call her back, but he doesn’t. This scene annoyed me because what do you mean you’re thirty five and literally throw a tantrum. Her bad romantic decisions are chalked up to her family Trooma (put a pin in that), but they’re not even consistently bad in a logical way? She kinda just decides to fuck over her love life in whatever direction is convenient for the plot.

Anyway, timeskip to the end of the season… what happened in the WDC or WCC? Who the fuck cares, apparently?

There’s a mandatory Fancy Gala Scene (that Natalia and the press are somehow invited to, despite it being a team celebration). It’s here that we are introduced to Sage, an up-and-coming female driver and a BADDIE. She pulls up at the function wearing a dress designed to look like plate armor? She also has blue hair and tattoos. Nest wanted to believe that Sage is a lesbian, but unfortunately, she’s the protagonist for the next (straight) book in the series. Emerald’s second driver is underperforming, so they want to buy him out and replace him with Sage. (Another very realistic plot point.) They’re trying to be all *secretive* about it, but Klaus apparently doesn’t know secretive if it bit him in his Austrian ass. He’s talking to Sage (who has literally no reason to be at Emerald’s party if not silly season shit) in front of the entire function, which also includes several F1 journalists.

Remember how I told you to put a pin in family trauma? In a sudden and almost jarring turn of plot, we get some of Natalia’s backstory. Earlier, she mentions that her biological parents had her young and abandoned her when she was a child, so she was raised by her great aunt Minnie. (Aunt Min straight up says that Natalia’s abandonment issues are the root cause behind her terrible taste in men, which… subtlety is dead I guess, but Min did clock her ass.) 

Aunt Min tells Natalia that Natalia’s bio-parents want to get in touch with her. Apparently they didn’t choose to abandon her– they left Kentucky for California and intended to send for her, but they couldn’t find work, so they started working for a drug dealer to make ends meet. And then, during a drug delivery, a man tried to sexually assault Natalia’s mother, and she STABBED HIM TO DEATH WITH A SCREWDRIVER in self defense. Her mother is only reaching out now because she was finally released after being in PRISON for TWENTY FIVE YEARS. The most realistic part of this book is that someone gets screwed over by the American justice system.

Anyway, Natalia’s editor tells Natalia that her next assignment is a feature piece on… who else… Klaus. For the interview, Natalia flies out to meet Klaus at his vacation house in Santorini. Even though they claim to haaate each other, Klaus picks her up from the airport, and she’s staying in his house?? (Because known tourist spot Santorini has NO hotels or taxis… right.) 

They have a very unprofessional interview in which Natalia is just rude and passive aggressive to Klaus. Klaus isn’t really in the right either, since Sage pops in to visit, and Klaus briefly implies that the two are sleeping together to make Natalia jealous. Natalia rightfully calls out Klaus and says that a female driver would never be so unprofessional as to sleep with a TP, which I agree with… but this is in the universe in which a F1 reporter is fucking one of her sources,  and a driver and engineer are sleeping together, so I don’t get why this is the moral rubicon of professionalism here.

But anyway, after like two pages of being mad at each other… they inevitably get wetter and wilder than Spa 2021. We already knew that Klaus calls Natalia “kleine Hexe,” but he is also really, REALLY into weirdly fantasy and magic-coded dirty talk. Here’s a brief sampling. 

Additional examples:

“Talia," he murmurs as we come together again. "Lioness... witch... conqueror." (79)

“voyeur. Shadow. Wicked thief.”

Also he shouts “I am!” when he orgasms, which is never explained

Even in the non sexual scenes, Klaus just uses overly formal, anachronistic, and faux poetic English. I would get some formality since he isn’t a native English speaker, but he is almost written like a medieval shadow daddy that got reverse-Isekai’d into being a Formula One TP. Someone check in with the author and see if she knows that Austria is like, a real modern country with exports like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Red Bull, not a fantasy land full of fairies in lederhosen.

There’s also a little bit of the promised (threatened) German dirty talk. Senta largely vouches for its grammatical correctness, but says that its sexiness is up to your interpretation. The sex itself is fine, and they at least get a bit creative with some light BDSM elements and Natalia being on top, though any spice is quickly snuffed out by Klaus’s Lord of the Rings style pillowtalk. 

Unfortunately, an anonymous tip at Natalia’s work starts sowing some doubt in Klausville. She receives a mysterious flash drive, which shows that an employee of the rival Allonby team may have leaked their car blueprints to Emerald. This information substantiates paddock rumors that Emerald’s car is just a ripoff of the Allonby car from the previous year. (This plot point is a nice tie-in to the Racing Point “Pink Mercedes” allegations and the infamous Spygate.) 

Natalia confronts Klaus, who denies stealing IP from Allonby, though he’s clearly up to something else sus. Natalia decides to trust Klaus, saying she doesn’t want to know what he was up to so she can live in ignorance I guess. She drops the story, and then they fuck about it. Raw, I might add, because Natalia says that she’s period tracking and therefore it’s okay. (Really not beating the Southerners have no sex ed allegations. At least be on the pill or SOMETHING!) Obviously since Klaus is a main character, he isn’t actually involved in industrial espionage, but imagine if Spygate got covered up because someone at Sky was fucking Flavio. Like come on. Where is the professionalism?

During the Montreal weekend, Klaus and Natalia dance together at a team party. (Does everyone at Team Emerald need an eye exam, because how do you NOT see your 6 foot 5 alpha ceo dancing with a well known F1 journalist without leaving room for Jesus?) Remember the human rights and sponsor subplot? So Natalia accidentally reveals to Klaus that she’s following up on the human rights issues in Basilisk Tech’s Unnamed Middle Eastern Country, and… oh yeah, the last person who researched the rumors mysteriously *fell off a balcony* while on location. Klaus isn’t happy and acts generally sus, and then Natalia’s source cancels and refuses to participate in the story. HMMM…

Apparently everyone in the PADDOCK needs their eyes checked, because Natalia and Klaus get papped on a romantic dinner in Monaco. Somehow it’s literally not a big deal and no one else notices or cares. (Natalia’s boss actively encourages the relationship, claiming she got information for her Pulitzer winning book on the Bosnian genocide by flirting with CANONICAL Henry Kissinger. Go off queen.) Natalia and Klaus also have an openly shared room during the Hungarian GP. Again, how is this a forbidden romance if there are literally zero ramifications to people knowing they’re together?

Unfortunately, Klaus and Natalia’s amorous evening, like the 2020 racing season, is abruptly cut short. After sex, Nat discovers 1. Phaedra texting Klaus that they were right to cancel involvements with Basilisk’s home country, since said country is currently in open revolt against its evil government, and 2. That Klaus’s briefcase is filled with like a dozen of the same flash drives that Natalia received in her inbox, with the purported Spygate smoking gun. 

Natalia realizes that Klaus fabricated the Spygate receipts and planted the flash drive to throw her off the Basilisk scandal. (And I realized that Klaus is like, terrible at committing crimes. Why didn’t you just buy ONE flash drive? Why did you keep the extras IN YOUR BRIEFCASE, for MONTHS?) Klaus realizes he fucked up and explains that he wasn’t trying to cover up his involvement with Basilisk (since he and Emerald were actively pushing the FIA to end its involvement with Unnamed Middle Eastern Country). He only wanted to keep her from investigating the story and putting her life at risk. Regardless, Natalia is pissed and breaks up with him. She also tells him to read “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” from Canterbury Tales on her way out the door.

Sidenote, the most unrealistic part of all of this is that someone in F1 actually cares about human rights. LOL. 

Natalia reluctantly finishes her Klaus feature, resolving to quit at the end of the season and write a book about her mother’s life story. And then, Ruh roh! She realizes that Herr Klaus came in HER a little too hot, and she’s got her own kleine Klaus incoming. She reveals that after she left Klaus’s room in Hungary, where I guess they rawdogged, she put only a passing effort into finding a morning after pill and basically said “fuck it we ball” about her reproductive health, and was lowkey hoping she might get pregnant so that she could return home or something?

Klaus makes a surprise visit to Kentucky to meet Aunt Min and Natalia’s bio-parents, with whom she’s reconciled. He apologizes to Natalia and says he wants to be present for their child, though it would be hard to work around his schedule as a TP. He also says that the moral he learned from “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” is that women want agency, which he denied her by giving her the false information on the flash drive. 

Sidenote, I consulted Nest (who has an English degree and has read her share of medieval English literature) about this literary interpretation of Chaucer. She says it’s wrong. The moral of the story is really more like that women want to have control over the men in their lives. Which is not “as slay girlboss independent woman” as what Klaus says, but is apparently the moral of the story that they state in the text “out loud several times,” according to her.

Natalia comes to the last race of the season, her final assignment before she resigns. To the shock of the reporters, including Natalia, Klaus announces that he is retiring Nico Rosberg style (that is to say, IMMEDIATELY) and hard launches the fact that he has an unborn daughter. He then reconciles with Natalia and agrees to retire to Kentucky, in order to be present for their future child. And Natalia’s parents will be there, as will Aunt Min, and her Kentucky Hot Brown Casserole, which will definitely give Klaus some kind of heart disease. The End!

Overall, I’ve definitely read worse F1 romances. (Throttled, for one, is much cringier, and its writing infuriates me on a sentence level, an accomplishment that even Coming in Hot doesn't hold a candle to). The small amount of racing in the book is somewhat accurate, like the various references to real life scandals. But I definitely wouldn’t waste your time with this book. Its spice and humor land in some parts, but other parts will have you cringing. (Klaus’ medieval times-ass way of speaking was a big sticking point for me.) I personally found Natalia irritating and incompetent, while Klaus is a stuffy bootleg shadow daddy in TP’s clothing. The pacing drags in the middle, bogging down the story with rehashed relationship drama instead of stuff that is actually interesting, like the team scandals or ANYTHING at all about the racing season.

In conclusion. If you want to read anything about Toto’s steamy desires, just read whatever he’s up to in seducing Max Verstappen. 

[maxedes]

Hi Senta! I was wondering, are you the German speaking F1 blogger who created the guide to German endearments and dirty talk? (Apologies if you are not!)

I am currently reading Coming in Hot, aka the awful F1 romance book clearly based on Toto Wolff, and was wondering how bad the German dialogue is. The totally-not-Toto Austrian character keeps calling the main character "kleine Hexe," which they translate as "little witch," and I'm wondering if that's actually something people say, or if it's a weird Google Translate phrase made up by the non German speaking author.

heyyy, this is such a fun ask, thank you!!

it was my post, here :) (just endearment tho, german dirty talk makes my skin crawl, so i wouldn‘t even attempt it hahaha)

love that you are reading that book, i‘ve been tempted but couldn‘t bring myself to do it yet, so please tag me if you‘re doing a review hahahaha.

as for the the term:

the translation is correct it does mean little witch HOWEVER i‘d say it‘s pretty similar to english in terms of implication (witch being more used as an insult & the little isn‘t doing much here)

if it‘s an inside joke or something it could be fine (like i said in my post i think personal nicknames are the best way to go in german), for me personally i‘d say i‘d be a little offended by it probably. plus i find it a bit belittling. it rather feels like something my mom would’ve called me when i was pulling some shenanigans as a kid & being a bit cheeky and not something i‘d enjoy hearing from a romantic partner.

but then again i‘m not the authority on german language so there could be people out there who think it is cute.

in conclusion: i don‘t know the context here exactly, but the translation does make sense & if it‘s from some banter between the characters it could be fine & cute, however it‘s not something you‘d commonly call your partner, especially because the few times i‘ve heard people say it was in a more negative context. (not bad bad per se but like i said, when you cause some trouble as a child or something)

bonus fun fact: there is a german kids book from the 50s by that name though but idk if that has anything to do with it hahahha. (it‘s about a little witch trying to join the older witches & has to try being a good witch but she misunderstands the task & just does a lot of good, so the older witches punish her bc they wanted her to be good at being bad. spoiler: in the end she gets back at them)

[bookie-tsunoda]

(Reblogging from my review specific account)

Thanks for answering the question! It's not an inside joke or anything, unfortunately-- Klaus (aka Not Toto) calls Natalia (the female MC) "kleine Hexe" out of the blue when they first meet at a bar, and then keeps calling her that throughout. So it does seem like an author trying to be cutesy in a foreign language, but lowkey making it weird.

"I will certainly order you an untouched glass... if you're shy." His eyes are dark as puddles of ink, and oh the things he's writing with them... "Are you shy, kleine Hexe?" (p. 5)

In context of the scene, it's used like a pickup line, and I thought it was kind of cringy. Honestly, "little witch" is a pretty odd thing to call someone in English as well. I think it would only work in very specific contexts, such as if there's an inside joke behind it.

Funny to know that it comes off as kind of condescending. I'm not sure if that's intentional, considering the not-Toto character is supposed to be in his mid forties and about ten years older than the FMC. The author may be going for that vibe, but honestly, he seems to be more "old fashioned" rather than legitimately condescending. I also appreciated the list of endearments, since not-Toto does call Natalia's friend Schatzi, but I guess it makes a bit more sense because not-Toto is close friends with the friend's father, so he's kind of an uncle-like figure to her rather than a peer.

I also loved learning about that children's book-- it's so cute!

Can I possibly send you more snippets of German to see if they're accurate, LOL 🫣

[maxedes]

nooo i fully agree it is very strange in that context (or with the lack thereof)!

not something you‘d just say as a pickup line for sure.

Few more things i noticed just from this post

1. the mix of german & english is strange, just saying that doesn‘t feel natural & there is no flow. i‘d never switch languages like that. maybe if you have a partner that you have established a nickname in your native language for but just out of the blue like this is strange & just not natural?? if that makes sense??

2. the name klaus alone is taking me out. it is the most cliché german name ever & arguably the least sexy one there is. also i‘d say that klaus is a name for people even older than forty. hearing the name i‘d expect someone my grandparents age

3. to me calling her bestie schatzi reads condescending (or if it was a cliché german movie gay😭) as well. i think germans largely aren‘t big on calling friends pet names. being called schatzi puts me into fight mode (especially when coming from an older man) & the only time i use it is to talk down to my male friends in a jokey way when they fucked something up („no schatzi, you are very drunk, so you will drink the water now!“)

and yes please keep the snippets coming i love yapping about this stuff!!

and if anyone else has questions or needs help with german stuff for their fics or something my asks & dms are always open (but please excuse me if it takes a while to answer😭)

[maxedes]

Hi Senta! I was wondering, are you the German speaking F1 blogger who created the guide to German endearments and dirty talk? (Apologies if you are not!)

I am currently reading Coming in Hot, aka the awful F1 romance book clearly based on Toto Wolff, and was wondering how bad the German dialogue is. The totally-not-Toto Austrian character keeps calling the main character "kleine Hexe," which they translate as "little witch," and I'm wondering if that's actually something people say, or if it's a weird Google Translate phrase made up by the non German speaking author.

heyyy, this is such a fun ask, thank you!!

it was my post, here :) (just endearment tho, german dirty talk makes my skin crawl, so i wouldn‘t even attempt it hahaha)

love that you are reading that book, i‘ve been tempted but couldn‘t bring myself to do it yet, so please tag me if you‘re doing a review hahahaha.

as for the the term:

the translation is correct it does mean little witch HOWEVER i‘d say it‘s pretty similar to english in terms of implication (witch being more used as an insult & the little isn‘t doing much here)

if it‘s an inside joke or something it could be fine (like i said in my post i think personal nicknames are the best way to go in german), for me personally i‘d say i‘d be a little offended by it probably. plus i find it a bit belittling. it rather feels like something my mom would’ve called me when i was pulling some shenanigans as a kid & being a bit cheeky and not something i‘d enjoy hearing from a romantic partner.

but then again i‘m not the authority on german language so there could be people out there who think it is cute.

in conclusion: i don‘t know the context here exactly, but the translation does make sense & if it‘s from some banter between the characters it could be fine & cute, however it‘s not something you‘d commonly call your partner, especially because the few times i‘ve heard people say it was in a more negative context. (not bad bad per se but like i said, when you cause some trouble as a child or something)

bonus fun fact: there is a german kids book from the 50s by that name though but idk if that has anything to do with it hahahha. (it‘s about a little witch trying to join the older witches & has to try being a good witch but she misunderstands the task & just does a lot of good, so the older witches punish her bc they wanted her to be good at being bad. spoiler: in the end she gets back at them)

[bookie-tsunoda]

(Reblogging from my review specific account)

Thanks for answering the question! It's not an inside joke or anything, unfortunately-- Klaus (aka Not Toto) calls Natalia (the female MC) "kleine Hexe" out of the blue when they first meet at a bar, and then keeps calling her that throughout. So it does seem like an author trying to be cutesy in a foreign language, but lowkey making it weird.

"I will certainly order you an untouched glass... if you're shy." His eyes are dark as puddles of ink, and oh the things he's writing with them... "Are you shy, kleine Hexe?" (p. 5)

In context of the scene, it's used like a pickup line, and I thought it was kind of cringy. Honestly, "little witch" is a pretty odd thing to call someone in English as well. I think it would only work in very specific contexts, such as if there's an inside joke behind it.

Funny to know that it comes off as kind of condescending. I'm not sure if that's intentional, considering the not-Toto character is supposed to be in his mid forties and about ten years older than the FMC. The author may be going for that vibe, but honestly, he seems to be more "old fashioned" rather than legitimately condescending. I also appreciated the list of endearments, since not-Toto does call Natalia's friend Schatzi, but I guess it makes a bit more sense because not-Toto is close friends with the friend's father, so he's kind of an uncle-like figure to her rather than a peer.

I also loved learning about that children's book-- it's so cute!

Can I possibly send you more snippets of German to see if they're accurate, LOL 🫣

[saintemiliosandoz]

y’all really recommend books like: title, there are gay characters, enemies to lovers, young adult, written by poc

not once do i ever see a summary

[mycoolstoryworld]

What more info do you need?

A SUMMARY

WHAT DO U MENA SUMMARY WHAT ELSE MATTERS ITS GAY POC AND ENEMIES TO LOVERS HOW OFTEN DO U CONE ACROSS THAT

i want to know what its about mainly. is it a romance? is there plot besides the romance? is it realistic fiction? sci fi? fantasy? historical? future? alternate history? whats the tone? what are the themes? what are the main characters’ NAMES?

I- it’s gay the gay

i value queer characters too. but i also want to know WHAT THE BOOK I’M READING IS ABOUT.

[marzipanandminutiae]

“GAY AND/OR RACIALLY DIVERSE” IS NOT A GENRE. nor is it an indicator of quality

do you know how many times I’ve been recommended a book solely because “it’s queer fantasy!”

do you know how many times those books have been so poorly written that I couldn’t finish them

[captainlordauditor]

Mostly, I want to know the tone. A 19th century war story isn’t gonna do it for me when I’m in the mood for a lighthearted austenesque romance - and those are both historical. A star warsy space romp isn’t gonna do it if I want to read about interplanetary political negotiations - and those are both sci fi. A fun gratuitious don’t-think-about-it-too-hard action story is not the same as a dark and complicated mob drama. A suspenseful thriller will bore me if I’m looking for a fast paced spy novel.

not providing a summary literally just shows how you treat marginalized people and their representation as this token woke thing that you can show off like a shiny trophy. no, people aren’t going to read something just because it has representation! that’s not how it works!

[the-uncanny-dag]

Artist bio by Anna Daliza

[sunrisespeedway]

hi everyone i finally found the really shitty officially branded nascar romance where the driver love interest's tragic backstory is that he literally can't read and unfortunately this is the funniest thing i've ever read

[rigmarole-07]

@pookietsunoda

[bookie-tsunoda]

Guess what came in the mail....

[sunrisespeedway]

hi everyone i finally found the really shitty officially branded nascar romance where the driver love interest's tragic backstory is that he literally can't read and unfortunately this is the funniest thing i've ever read

[rigmarole-07]

@pookietsunoda

[bookie-tsunoda]

Guess what came in the mail....

[bookie-tsunoda]

IDK if I'm just not picking well, but it feels to me as if basically all the romance books I've read (bar Normal People) just do NOT know how to build chemistry in a realistic and non corny way. Like character 1 looks at character 2 and literally thinks on page "wow they're the sexiest person I've ever seen, they're literally so hot and perfect we should bone rn."

And then I'll read a random fanfic on Ao3 or something and they're so much better about it? You'll have a character who's clearly down bad, but the author trusts the reader's intelligence to not say it explicitly on page-- you'll just notice the character gets awkward and self conscious whenever this other person's around, they're always looking at the other person and noticing little things about them, they just have all these subtle reactions. Anyway this is where I'm at with Crash Test rn. It's not awful, but it's not as good at writing romance as literally just the last random oneshot I read.

[bookie-tsunoda]

Formula One Romance Reviews, Ep. 2: Offtrack by Esha Patel

Diana Zahrani, the first female Formula One driver in decades, is determined to make her mark during her rookie season in F1. Meanwhile, Miguel de la Fuente is determined to be the first in his racing family to finally win the World Driver’s Championship. Miguel and Diana hit it off, but they’re starting to feel like there’s a little more than just friendly rivalry between them.

Offtrack by Esha Patel steers clear of many of the inaccuracies and pitfalls of its peers. It's clearly well researched, and it also avoids the worst tropes of popular sports romances. Protagonist Diana is a talented driver in her own right, not just a self-insert WAG, and her relationship with male lead and fellow racer Miguel is largely healthy. I also liked that the protagonist is a woman of color, and that Patel clearly put effort into portraying Diana’s background and struggles.

However, Offtrack definitely has drawbacks that keep it off the podium. The racing drama and romance plot aren’t well connected, and I wasn’t terribly compelled by Diana and Miguel as a couple. The book’s attempts to create story arcs for its protagonists are rushed, and Patel’s writing often falls flat when trying to carry emotional weight. It’s also just… kind of boring and predictable. I’d recommend it if you want a laidback Sunday drive in the midfield, but it’s not the thrilling, emotional race for P1 that I was hoping for. 

🛞🛞🛞

~3 out of 5 Tire Compounds~

🏎️Non-Spoiler Review🏎️

Regarding technical accuracy, the book is pretty good, though to be honest the bar is very low. During races, Patel correctly depicts warmups, tire/ pit strategy, DRS, etc.– none of which are in Throttled and maybe only a few of which are in Pole Position. A couple crashes/ on track incidents even mirror real-world events. Even the radio chatter and jargon largely sounds right. There are only a few minor errors in terminology/ accuracy, and they didn’t distract me from the story in the way the inaccuracies did in the two other F1 romances. A couple events are a bit implausible, such as Diana’s accelerated rise in motorsport and a few too many plot-important loose tires. However, nothing is entirely, obviously wrong in ways that are common in other F1 books.

In terms of paddock politicking, media shenanigans, and motorsport culture, Offtrack is far and away more accurate than other F1 romances. Offtrack’s F1 grid feels fleshed-out and realistically interconnected, unlike the cardboard worldbuilding of Pole Position and Throttled. The drivers deal with marketing events, sensationalist press, and the pressure to preserve the team’s image. Diana specifically notes the double standard for women applied by fans and the media. There are messy driver swaps, and the entire third act is largely about contract renewal/ silly season. Again, a couple mild inaccuracies (such as Miguel getting an online college degree during his career or going to public school as a kid), but nothing absurd.

Further, Offtrack depicts/ criticizes the social inequality within motorsport. Miguel is from a rich racing family, and the story also mentions pay drivers in passing. Meanwhile, Diana has had to fight for a place on the grid because of her gender, nationality, and lack of a wealthy or influential family. Other women, such as Miguel’s sister and race engineer Paula, also experience structural and interpersonal sexism. There’s also a very good de-romanticization of WAG life, though it’s only a minor part of the story. 

The story is way more girl-power than most sports romances, where the female lead has no personal aspirations and basically becomes a male athlete's accessory. This is unabashedly Diana’s story, and Offtrack does a good job about NOT having Diana’s life revolve around Miguel or forcing her to sacrifice her career for a man. However, I do think Patel could have portrayed more subtle and structural sexism instead of having it largely be overt and interpersonal, and there are also a couple minor lines where characters seem to look down on more feminine, “shallow” characters. I also think there could have been more thought put into how Diana is not only looked down upon as a woman, or as a woman from the Emirates, but as a woman of color specifically.

It’s mainly in the storytelling department where things get “offtrack.” 358 pages is too long. And while Miguel and Diana’s relationship is not a toxic cringefest like a lot of other romance books, I didn’t really buy their chemistry, and I think Patel’s writing comes off as a bit flat or juvenile when trying to build romantic tension. Also, there isn’t much effort to imagine how Diana and Miguel’s professional rivalry would cause problems between them in their relationship, which felt a bit odd given how much both of them want the championship. I think fanfics/ fans have done a much better job about thinking about how being a racing driver permanently reshapes one’s mentality, even about interpersonal relationships. Realistically, Diana and Miguel would struggle way more to build a normal relationship given how important their careers are to both of them, and the fact that they are basically fraternizing with an enemy.

Additionally, the character/ story arcs are largely underdeveloped. One character basically flip-flops from a sweetheart to a total jealous asshole in the span of a couple chapters. Meanwhile, there’s attempts in the middle to give Miguel a bit of a crashout over interpersonal drama in his life, but Patel doesn’t really commit to it. There are some attempts at creating tension for Diana, seemingly making her choose between following her professional dreams and her values, but not much seems to come of it. The rest of the story is uplifting and has some fun moments, but it’s pretty predictable, and there isn’t much tension to speak of.

🏎️ Full In-Depth Summary, With Spoilers 🏎️

The novel opens with Miguel’s perspective in the prior (2021) season. Miguel hails from the wealthy de la Fuente racing family of Spain– both his father and grandfather were F1 drivers, though neither won the Championship, placing high pressure on Miguel to do what they couldn’t. He races for the prestigious, very Italian carmaker Scuderia Revello. 

Carlos/ Ferrari/ the Sainz family:

Miguel’s sister Paula is his race engineer– she is great at her job and is probably my favorite character. Paula is depicted as encountering sexism from her own traditional father and the motorsport industry generally– Miguel notes (correctly) that “racing is a uniform sport. It is fueled by a community that discourages change.” There is a line about Paula’s push for more female engineers failing because women didn’t want to deal with the drivers “diva like behaviour,” which seems like a missed opportunity to examine structural sexism, but oh well.

At the US Grand Prix, Miguel watches with shock as Eduardo “Eddie” Palmas, a respected veteran driver and Miguel’s mentor, experiences a horrific crash that clearly parallels the one experienced by Romain Grosjean. Eddie chooses to retire at the end of the season, leaving his seat at Jolt Archambeau Racing open to a newcomer in the 2022 season.

We are also introduced to some other important people in Miguel’s life. Niccolo “Nic” Necci is close friends with Miguel from their time at backmarker team Vittore; Andrea (thank GOODNESS Kimi doesn’t use his birth name) is Miguel’s cartoonishly sleazy Italian teammate at Revello; and Jatziry is Miguel’s girlfriend / family friend with whom he’s been set up with by his parents since childhood. I already had my antennae up for a possible annoying love triangle, but thankfully the drama is minimal, even though being assigned-WAG-at-birth is WILD.

Jolt’s missing-driver quandary is conveniently solved by Diana Zahrani, an up-and-coming Emirati racer who won the Formula 2 championship but hasn’t had any luck finding a full-time racing seat. (Theo Pourchaire and Felipe Drugovitch can relate, though so can the many other woman racers, who often struggle to get signed regardless of talent.) Diana notes that being a non-European woman without a rich family notably decreases her odds of getting signed, which is very real. (Patel writes in the author's note that Diana is partially based on Amna al-Qubaisi,who is also Emirati.)

Diana’s seat is publicly announced at a beginning-of-the-year media event with a lot of fanfare and lights, and everyone (including Miguel and Nic) is shocked that she’s a girl, even though they were told her last name ahead of time. This felt a little stupid to me because there’s like no way F1 drivers are not following the feeders, especially F2. A woman not only in F2, but WINNING F2, would be a phenomenal deal.

Unfortunately, Diana immediately faces sexism at work, from Miguel's teammate Andrea, her teammate Kasper, and Jolt’s marketing team. (Jolt’s title sponsor is an energy drink called Jolt, so… canon Red Bull sexism I guess.) I think this comes off with mixed effect. Kasper and Andrea are like comically annoying and also not very good at their jobs. I think it would be more interesting for a highly skilled driver who’s a legitimate on track threat to be misogynistic, for her to experience subtle microaggressions, or for a driver who is very popular and initially nice to her to express sexist attitudes. (A la Daniel Ricciardo dismissing Christian Horner’s harassment allegations.)

Miguel and Diana end up going to lunch because of some somewhat contrived circumstances, and they’re immediately struck by the fact that they seem familiar to each other. I personally thought this was a bit of a goofy setup and was not the hugest fan of it. They do discuss their career routes into F1, name dropping karting championships like OK Junior and KF2. Diana got a very late start in karting at age 14, which did feel somewhat unrealistic, but it wasn’t completely world breaking for me. Patel does understand the karting and feeder series ladder, unlike Throttled or Pole Position. 

The first race of the season is at Jeddah, and the race weekend is very accurate. We get those silly reflex games, pitting, DRS, tire strat, the works. One thing I did NOT like (in something that irked other reviewers) is that Diana… feels bad for overtaking drivers that she is friends with?

Overall, I think the book has the fluff fanfic problem of everyone being a little too nice to each other, but it doesn't totally ruin the book for me. Another thing that is a little odd but not ruinous is how fucking OP Diana is– she gets P3 her first ever race. Jolt is a top team, but the only people in the last thirty years who have podiumed on their first race ever are Lewis Hamilton and Kevin Magnussen. Kimi Antonelli, also thrown into a top team as a rookie, got fourth in his first race. I’ll allow her to be goated though because it’s only fair that women of color can have an F1 power fantasy. Brad Pitt gets to be the GOAT in his shitty self insert movie when he’s 62, so.

I already knew that Jolt was based on Red Bull because of the energy drink thing, but holy shit they really ARE Red Bull because after four races, they surprise-swap in Nic for Diana’s douchey, underperforming teammate Kasper. Although Nic and Diana are initially friendly/ flirty, shit immediately goes sideways. In the Spanish GP, Diana gets team-ordered to swap with Nic and lose her chance at her first win. I did like the tension of the first versus second driver politics that Diana is forced to confront. Nic also is unwilling to admit that the move was unfair, throwing their burgeoning friendship/ mild red herring flirtation under the bus. (TBH, I would have liked it better if there had also been an element of misogyny to it as well-- perhaps Nic may be nice to Diana if he thinks she's the second driver, but he's too insecure to still like her if he thinks she can beat him.)

At the next race in Monaco, Diana is very honest with the press about how disappointed she is in the team orders, which is probably unrealistic given how tight of a PR leash drivers are under, especially considering that she’s a new driver without a multi year contract. (I would have preferred this scene to be a breaking point after several instances where it’s clear the team is prioritizing Nic over her despite her superior results– it feels unearned as a scene of catharsis so early in this arc.) Nic also starts torpedoing his friendship with Miguel, bitter that Miguel got a shot with a top team before him. I like Nic’s motives, but overall his falloff seemed too quick to make sense, especially with how he's initially set up as a sweetheart.

Meanwhile, off in Miguel-land, his mother tells him that the reason Diana is familiar is because they used to kart together as teenagers, and that they definitely had a thing for each other back in the day. I’m romance book-handwaving the fact that they probably wouldn’t have been at the same level at the same time given Diana started late, but whatever. Jatziry also breaks up with Miguel because, well, being a WAG objectively sucks. Miguel has been so busy with his career that he never spends any time with her, people only talk to her to get access to Miguel, and she knows that he will always put his career ahead of her. (This is probably one of the most realistic and accurate takedowns of WAGdom I’ve read, which is refreshing given that most sports romances tend to glamorize it.) Plus, they don’t really have feelings for each other, and she suspects that Miguel has eyes for Diana anyway.

Queen.

Anyway, Miguel supposedly crashes out a little bit and starts behaving more recklessly, but this arc is kind of underdeveloped. He and Jatziry weren’t that deeply connected, so why is the breakup of all things causing a crisis in him? He actually does better on track because of his increased risk-taking, winning three races back to back.

On a lighter note, there is a hilarious scene where in Montreal, the ENTIRE front of the field ends up in a six-car pileup in turn one of the first lap, causing a random kid in the midfield to get his first victory. It's pretty silly and maybe a little unrealistic, but not absolutely implausible, given that there WAS an enormous pileup in F2's Monaco race this year, as well as the 15 DNF accident in the 1998 Spa race.

In the only possible fallout of Miguel’s recklessness, Nic and Miguel collide and both DNF in the Indian GP, and Miguel admits to Nic that he likes Diana enough that he would put her ahead of his career. It’s sweet but kind of comes out of left field, given that he and Diana haven’t really talked in ages, and that Miguel and Jatziry broke up Because he wasn’t willing to put her ahead of his career. It would have worked better for me had Miguel reflected on his mistakes with Jatziry, but it just seems kind of random and unrealistic given how deeply people in any hypercompetitive field are told to always put that career over everything else.

Sidenote, I think the reason a lot of sports romances come off as unrealistic to me is that the characters have to put the relationship and their partner first in their lives for it to be a proper ending-- romance has to "win." However, for people with very intense careers, like athletes, it seems a bit crazy for them to declare that a person they just met a few months ago is more important than their life’s dream. Fanfiction writers, in my experience, are often a lot better at portraying how dating a competitor would lead to a lot of problems, and how the mentality you’re raised with as an athlete to put your sport first makes it difficult to form normal relationships with people.

Miguel surprises Diana by paying for her family’s flights to the US GP, something that she can’t afford given that she’d need a full time travel nurse for her paraplegic father. (This was cute, and I liked her relationship with her parents– they’re very sweet!) And Diana gets her first win in COTA! Slay! Unfortunately, she encounters a bunch of sexist remarks from another driver in a media panel. Again, I think that drivers ARE probably sexist, I just think they’d be too media trained to explicitly say that another driver doesn’t deserve to be in F1. 

Also, she falls off the podium and gets an ankle injury (oop), and she attempts to hide her injury from the team because it could impact her contract. (Plenty of drivers definitely race when they really shouldn't, so this seemed realistic, ex. Carlos post appendectomy and the multi-year saga of Lance's wrist.) However, the injury does lead to some cute (but kind of overly long) fluff where Miguel comes to Dubai to look after her during summer break as she recovers. They finally get together, and Diana says that Miguel is her second favorite driver, after Senna. I also liked the detail that Miguel discovers that Diana’s real name is Diyana– Diana being the Anglicized version, and for the rest of the book he refers to her only as Diyana.

Unfortunately, silly season sneaks up on them– Loved the concept of this arc, because silly season is messy and I love mess. However, there are some weird plot holes. Nic gets renewed, but Diana doesn’t– which is lowkey crazy given that Diana is at least matching if not out performing him given that she has fewer years of experience. (I didn’t tally up their points exactly, but Diana has won both Austin and Spa at this point, and Nic has only won Spain.) The team principal of Jolt hears rumors that Diana is dating Miguel and says that unless they break up, she’ll lose her seat. There’s some sexist BS about how one of Jolt’s previous strategists started dating a driver and then left the team to start a family– weirdly it’s less about the fact that Diana got romantic with a competitor and more that she’s dating Anyone. But then Revello tells Diana that they want to sign her to replace MIGUEL, allegedly bc of his risky driving? Which makes even LESS sense because even though Miguel had some minor incidents and hit Nic, he’s in WDC contention that year, and Andrea is doing way worse than Miguel. 

Anyway, Revello is also truly revealed as Ferrari because they fucking blow Miguel’s WDC lead by… literally pitting him before the mechanics are ready (inininstayouting him) AND putting him on the wrong tire.

(Accuracy 100.) So now Diana has won a bunch of races and is truly within spitting distance of the championship, which is kind of wild for a rookie, but Lewis also did it so it's not totally implausible.

The final race is Diana’s home race in Abu Dhabi. She wins and gets the WDC by a hair, and Miguel is happy for her! Good for her. She does go to Revello, but then Miguel gets a seat at Heidelberg, another big 3 team, and then in the epilogue, he wins the WDC following year and they get engaged. Thee end. 

Overall, the F1 stuff is largely quite accurate, I liked the characters, and it’s cute and fun for the most part. However, I wasn’t the hugest fan of the romance or racing story and found the two aspects were somewhat conflicting. Romance books require love to “conquer all,” which is fundamentally at odds with the all consuming nature of professional sports. Thus, the relative ease of Diana and Miguel’s relationship seems a bit unrealistic given that they’re professional rivals, and the other person is standing in the way of their lifelong dream of winning the championship. Ex. Miguel is set up as someone with a deep-seated need to win the WDC to fulfil his family’s ambitions, but that’s pretty quickly dropped once he starts dating Diana. 

If the two storylines were well integrated, their parallel skill at racing would both fuel their attraction AND cause stress within their relationship as they’re forced to balance their personal lives and professional ambitions. Offtrack is certainly the best F1 romance I’ve read before, but it doesn’t really strike any new racing lines or go beyond the existing One Formula of romance novels.

Taglist: @princesscharlesofmonaco

[bookie-tsunoda]

Formula One Romance Reviews, Ep. 2: Offtrack by Esha Patel

Diana Zahrani, the first female Formula One driver in decades, is determined to make her mark during her rookie season in F1. Meanwhile, Miguel de la Fuente is determined to be the first in his racing family to finally win the World Driver’s Championship. Miguel and Diana hit it off, but they’re starting to feel like there’s a little more than just friendly rivalry between them.

Offtrack by Esha Patel steers clear of many of the inaccuracies and pitfalls of its peers. It's clearly well researched, and it also avoids the worst tropes of popular sports romances. Protagonist Diana is a talented driver in her own right, not just a self-insert WAG, and her relationship with male lead and fellow racer Miguel is largely healthy. I also liked that the protagonist is a woman of color, and that Patel clearly put effort into portraying Diana’s background and struggles.

However, Offtrack definitely has drawbacks that keep it off the podium. The racing drama and romance plot aren’t well connected, and I wasn’t terribly compelled by Diana and Miguel as a couple. The book’s attempts to create story arcs for its protagonists are rushed, and Patel’s writing often falls flat when trying to carry emotional weight. It’s also just… kind of boring and predictable. I’d recommend it if you want a laidback Sunday drive in the midfield, but it’s not the thrilling, emotional race for P1 that I was hoping for. 

🛞🛞🛞

~3 out of 5 Tire Compounds~

🏎️Non-Spoiler Review🏎️

Regarding technical accuracy, the book is pretty good, though to be honest the bar is very low. During races, Patel correctly depicts warmups, tire/ pit strategy, DRS, etc.– none of which are in Throttled and maybe only a few of which are in Pole Position. A couple crashes/ on track incidents even mirror real-world events. Even the radio chatter and jargon largely sounds right. There are only a few minor errors in terminology/ accuracy, and they didn’t distract me from the story in the way the inaccuracies did in the two other F1 romances. A couple events are a bit implausible, such as Diana’s accelerated rise in motorsport and a few too many plot-important loose tires. However, nothing is entirely, obviously wrong in ways that are common in other F1 books.

In terms of paddock politicking, media shenanigans, and motorsport culture, Offtrack is far and away more accurate than other F1 romances. Offtrack’s F1 grid feels fleshed-out and realistically interconnected, unlike the cardboard worldbuilding of Pole Position and Throttled. The drivers deal with marketing events, sensationalist press, and the pressure to preserve the team’s image. Diana specifically notes the double standard for women applied by fans and the media. There are messy driver swaps, and the entire third act is largely about contract renewal/ silly season. Again, a couple mild inaccuracies (such as Miguel getting an online college degree during his career or going to public school as a kid), but nothing absurd.

Further, Offtrack depicts/ criticizes the social inequality within motorsport. Miguel is from a rich racing family, and the story also mentions pay drivers in passing. Meanwhile, Diana has had to fight for a place on the grid because of her gender, nationality, and lack of a wealthy or influential family. Other women, such as Miguel’s sister and race engineer Paula, also experience structural and interpersonal sexism. There’s also a very good de-romanticization of WAG life, though it’s only a minor part of the story. 

The story is way more girl-power than most sports romances, where the female lead has no personal aspirations and basically becomes a male athlete's accessory. This is unabashedly Diana’s story, and Offtrack does a good job about NOT having Diana’s life revolve around Miguel or forcing her to sacrifice her career for a man. However, I do think Patel could have portrayed more subtle and structural sexism instead of having it largely be overt and interpersonal, and there are also a couple minor lines where characters seem to look down on more feminine, “shallow” characters. I also think there could have been more thought put into how Diana is not only looked down upon as a woman, or as a woman from the Emirates, but as a woman of color specifically.

It’s mainly in the storytelling department where things get “offtrack.” 358 pages is too long. And while Miguel and Diana’s relationship is not a toxic cringefest like a lot of other romance books, I didn’t really buy their chemistry, and I think Patel’s writing comes off as a bit flat or juvenile when trying to build romantic tension. Also, there isn’t much effort to imagine how Diana and Miguel’s professional rivalry would cause problems between them in their relationship, which felt a bit odd given how much both of them want the championship. I think fanfics/ fans have done a much better job about thinking about how being a racing driver permanently reshapes one’s mentality, even about interpersonal relationships. Realistically, Diana and Miguel would struggle way more to build a normal relationship given how important their careers are to both of them, and the fact that they are basically fraternizing with an enemy.

Additionally, the character/ story arcs are largely underdeveloped. One character basically flip-flops from a sweetheart to a total jealous asshole in the span of a couple chapters. Meanwhile, there’s attempts in the middle to give Miguel a bit of a crashout over interpersonal drama in his life, but Patel doesn’t really commit to it. There are some attempts at creating tension for Diana, seemingly making her choose between following her professional dreams and her values, but not much seems to come of it. The rest of the story is uplifting and has some fun moments, but it’s pretty predictable, and there isn’t much tension to speak of.

🏎️ Full In-Depth Summary, With Spoilers 🏎️

The novel opens with Miguel’s perspective in the prior (2021) season. Miguel hails from the wealthy de la Fuente racing family of Spain– both his father and grandfather were F1 drivers, though neither won the Championship, placing high pressure on Miguel to do what they couldn’t. He races for the prestigious, very Italian carmaker Scuderia Revello. 

Carlos/ Ferrari/ the Sainz family:

Miguel’s sister Paula is his race engineer– she is great at her job and is probably my favorite character. Paula is depicted as encountering sexism from her own traditional father and the motorsport industry generally– Miguel notes (correctly) that “racing is a uniform sport. It is fueled by a community that discourages change.” There is a line about Paula’s push for more female engineers failing because women didn’t want to deal with the drivers “diva like behaviour,” which seems like a missed opportunity to examine structural sexism, but oh well.

At the US Grand Prix, Miguel watches with shock as Eduardo “Eddie” Palmas, a respected veteran driver and Miguel’s mentor, experiences a horrific crash that clearly parallels the one experienced by Romain Grosjean. Eddie chooses to retire at the end of the season, leaving his seat at Jolt Archambeau Racing open to a newcomer in the 2022 season.

We are also introduced to some other important people in Miguel’s life. Niccolo “Nic” Necci is close friends with Miguel from their time at backmarker team Vittore; Andrea (thank GOODNESS Kimi doesn’t use his birth name) is Miguel’s cartoonishly sleazy Italian teammate at Revello; and Jatziry is Miguel’s girlfriend / family friend with whom he’s been set up with by his parents since childhood. I already had my antennae up for a possible annoying love triangle, but thankfully the drama is minimal, even though being assigned-WAG-at-birth is WILD.

Jolt’s missing-driver quandary is conveniently solved by Diana Zahrani, an up-and-coming Emirati racer who won the Formula 2 championship but hasn’t had any luck finding a full-time racing seat. (Theo Pourchaire and Felipe Drugovitch can relate, though so can the many other woman racers, who often struggle to get signed regardless of talent.) Diana notes that being a non-European woman without a rich family notably decreases her odds of getting signed, which is very real. (Patel writes in the author's note that Diana is partially based on Amna al-Qubaisi,who is also Emirati.)

Diana’s seat is publicly announced at a beginning-of-the-year media event with a lot of fanfare and lights, and everyone (including Miguel and Nic) is shocked that she’s a girl, even though they were told her last name ahead of time. This felt a little stupid to me because there’s like no way F1 drivers are not following the feeders, especially F2. A woman not only in F2, but WINNING F2, would be a phenomenal deal.

Unfortunately, Diana immediately faces sexism at work, from Miguel's teammate Andrea, her teammate Kasper, and Jolt’s marketing team. (Jolt’s title sponsor is an energy drink called Jolt, so… canon Red Bull sexism I guess.) I think this comes off with mixed effect. Kasper and Andrea are like comically annoying and also not very good at their jobs. I think it would be more interesting for a highly skilled driver who’s a legitimate on track threat to be misogynistic, for her to experience subtle microaggressions, or for a driver who is very popular and initially nice to her to express sexist attitudes. (A la Daniel Ricciardo dismissing Christian Horner’s harassment allegations.)

Miguel and Diana end up going to lunch because of some somewhat contrived circumstances, and they’re immediately struck by the fact that they seem familiar to each other. I personally thought this was a bit of a goofy setup and was not the hugest fan of it. They do discuss their career routes into F1, name dropping karting championships like OK Junior and KF2. Diana got a very late start in karting at age 14, which did feel somewhat unrealistic, but it wasn’t completely world breaking for me. Patel does understand the karting and feeder series ladder, unlike Throttled or Pole Position. 

The first race of the season is at Jeddah, and the race weekend is very accurate. We get those silly reflex games, pitting, DRS, tire strat, the works. One thing I did NOT like (in something that irked other reviewers) is that Diana… feels bad for overtaking drivers that she is friends with?

Overall, I think the book has the fluff fanfic problem of everyone being a little too nice to each other, but it doesn't totally ruin the book for me. Another thing that is a little odd but not ruinous is how fucking OP Diana is– she gets P3 her first ever race. Jolt is a top team, but the only people in the last thirty years who have podiumed on their first race ever are Lewis Hamilton and Kevin Magnussen. Kimi Antonelli, also thrown into a top team as a rookie, got fourth in his first race. I’ll allow her to be goated though because it’s only fair that women of color can have an F1 power fantasy. Brad Pitt gets to be the GOAT in his shitty self insert movie when he’s 62, so.

I already knew that Jolt was based on Red Bull because of the energy drink thing, but holy shit they really ARE Red Bull because after four races, they surprise-swap in Nic for Diana’s douchey, underperforming teammate Kasper. Although Nic and Diana are initially friendly/ flirty, shit immediately goes sideways. In the Spanish GP, Diana gets team-ordered to swap with Nic and lose her chance at her first win. I did like the tension of the first versus second driver politics that Diana is forced to confront. Nic also is unwilling to admit that the move was unfair, throwing their burgeoning friendship/ mild red herring flirtation under the bus. (TBH, I would have liked it better if there had also been an element of misogyny to it as well-- perhaps Nic may be nice to Diana if he thinks she's the second driver, but he's too insecure to still like her if he thinks she can beat him.)

At the next race in Monaco, Diana is very honest with the press about how disappointed she is in the team orders, which is probably unrealistic given how tight of a PR leash drivers are under, especially considering that she’s a new driver without a multi year contract. (I would have preferred this scene to be a breaking point after several instances where it’s clear the team is prioritizing Nic over her despite her superior results– it feels unearned as a scene of catharsis so early in this arc.) Nic also starts torpedoing his friendship with Miguel, bitter that Miguel got a shot with a top team before him. I like Nic’s motives, but overall his falloff seemed too quick to make sense, especially with how he's initially set up as a sweetheart.

Meanwhile, off in Miguel-land, his mother tells him that the reason Diana is familiar is because they used to kart together as teenagers, and that they definitely had a thing for each other back in the day. I’m romance book-handwaving the fact that they probably wouldn’t have been at the same level at the same time given Diana started late, but whatever. Jatziry also breaks up with Miguel because, well, being a WAG objectively sucks. Miguel has been so busy with his career that he never spends any time with her, people only talk to her to get access to Miguel, and she knows that he will always put his career ahead of her. (This is probably one of the most realistic and accurate takedowns of WAGdom I’ve read, which is refreshing given that most sports romances tend to glamorize it.) Plus, they don’t really have feelings for each other, and she suspects that Miguel has eyes for Diana anyway.

Queen.

Anyway, Miguel supposedly crashes out a little bit and starts behaving more recklessly, but this arc is kind of underdeveloped. He and Jatziry weren’t that deeply connected, so why is the breakup of all things causing a crisis in him? He actually does better on track because of his increased risk-taking, winning three races back to back.

On a lighter note, there is a hilarious scene where in Montreal, the ENTIRE front of the field ends up in a six-car pileup in turn one of the first lap, causing a random kid in the midfield to get his first victory. It's pretty silly and maybe a little unrealistic, but not absolutely implausible, given that there WAS an enormous pileup in F2's Monaco race this year, as well as the 15 DNF accident in the 1998 Spa race.

In the only possible fallout of Miguel’s recklessness, Nic and Miguel collide and both DNF in the Indian GP, and Miguel admits to Nic that he likes Diana enough that he would put her ahead of his career. It’s sweet but kind of comes out of left field, given that he and Diana haven’t really talked in ages, and that Miguel and Jatziry broke up Because he wasn’t willing to put her ahead of his career. It would have worked better for me had Miguel reflected on his mistakes with Jatziry, but it just seems kind of random and unrealistic given how deeply people in any hypercompetitive field are told to always put that career over everything else.

Sidenote, I think the reason a lot of sports romances come off as unrealistic to me is that the characters have to put the relationship and their partner first in their lives for it to be a proper ending-- romance has to "win." However, for people with very intense careers, like athletes, it seems a bit crazy for them to declare that a person they just met a few months ago is more important than their life’s dream. Fanfiction writers, in my experience, are often a lot better at portraying how dating a competitor would lead to a lot of problems, and how the mentality you’re raised with as an athlete to put your sport first makes it difficult to form normal relationships with people.

Miguel surprises Diana by paying for her family’s flights to the US GP, something that she can’t afford given that she’d need a full time travel nurse for her paraplegic father. (This was cute, and I liked her relationship with her parents– they’re very sweet!) And Diana gets her first win in COTA! Slay! Unfortunately, she encounters a bunch of sexist remarks from another driver in a media panel. Again, I think that drivers ARE probably sexist, I just think they’d be too media trained to explicitly say that another driver doesn’t deserve to be in F1. 

Also, she falls off the podium and gets an ankle injury (oop), and she attempts to hide her injury from the team because it could impact her contract. (Plenty of drivers definitely race when they really shouldn't, so this seemed realistic, ex. Carlos post appendectomy and the multi-year saga of Lance's wrist.) However, the injury does lead to some cute (but kind of overly long) fluff where Miguel comes to Dubai to look after her during summer break as she recovers. They finally get together, and Diana says that Miguel is her second favorite driver, after Senna. I also liked the detail that Miguel discovers that Diana’s real name is Diyana– Diana being the Anglicized version, and for the rest of the book he refers to her only as Diyana.

Unfortunately, silly season sneaks up on them– Loved the concept of this arc, because silly season is messy and I love mess. However, there are some weird plot holes. Nic gets renewed, but Diana doesn’t– which is lowkey crazy given that Diana is at least matching if not out performing him given that she has fewer years of experience. (I didn’t tally up their points exactly, but Diana has won both Austin and Spa at this point, and Nic has only won Spain.) The team principal of Jolt hears rumors that Diana is dating Miguel and says that unless they break up, she’ll lose her seat. There’s some sexist BS about how one of Jolt’s previous strategists started dating a driver and then left the team to start a family– weirdly it’s less about the fact that Diana got romantic with a competitor and more that she’s dating Anyone. But then Revello tells Diana that they want to sign her to replace MIGUEL, allegedly bc of his risky driving? Which makes even LESS sense because even though Miguel had some minor incidents and hit Nic, he’s in WDC contention that year, and Andrea is doing way worse than Miguel. 

Anyway, Revello is also truly revealed as Ferrari because they fucking blow Miguel’s WDC lead by… literally pitting him before the mechanics are ready (inininstayouting him) AND putting him on the wrong tire.

(Accuracy 100.) So now Diana has won a bunch of races and is truly within spitting distance of the championship, which is kind of wild for a rookie, but Lewis also did it so it's not totally implausible.

The final race is Diana’s home race in Abu Dhabi. She wins and gets the WDC by a hair, and Miguel is happy for her! Good for her. She does go to Revello, but then Miguel gets a seat at Heidelberg, another big 3 team, and then in the epilogue, he wins the WDC following year and they get engaged. Thee end. 

Overall, the F1 stuff is largely quite accurate, I liked the characters, and it’s cute and fun for the most part. However, I wasn’t the hugest fan of the romance or racing story and found the two aspects were somewhat conflicting. Romance books require love to “conquer all,” which is fundamentally at odds with the all consuming nature of professional sports. Thus, the relative ease of Diana and Miguel’s relationship seems a bit unrealistic given that they’re professional rivals, and the other person is standing in the way of their lifelong dream of winning the championship. Ex. Miguel is set up as someone with a deep-seated need to win the WDC to fulfil his family’s ambitions, but that’s pretty quickly dropped once he starts dating Diana. 

If the two storylines were well integrated, their parallel skill at racing would both fuel their attraction AND cause stress within their relationship as they’re forced to balance their personal lives and professional ambitions. Offtrack is certainly the best F1 romance I’ve read before, but it doesn’t really strike any new racing lines or go beyond the existing One Formula of romance novels.

Taglist: @princesscharlesofmonaco

[bookie-tsunoda]

introducing bookie tsunoda

Hey guys! I've decided to make a sideblog specifically for my F1 Romance reviews, mostly so I can link it to my NetGalley and not force publishers to read the three billion questionable posts I reblog every day. Anyway, would love it if you would drop a follow (though I'll probably be reblogging all of the big reviews on my main account as well). And let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list so you don't miss any reviews/ rants.

[pookietsunoda]

I Read That Gay F1 Romance Novel (so you don't have to)

After reading the massive disappointment F1 sports romance that was Throttled, I did what a normal person would do– seek out the gay version and hope it was better. (Throttled deserves its own post and may get one, if I have time.)

Fortuitously, my cousin entered into a giveaway and won a free copy of Pole Position, by Rebecca Cafferty, marketed as "F1 meets Red White and Royal Blue." Unappreciative of the gold she had scored (to me, as an F1 fan and wannabe book critic), she agreed to loan me her copy, as long as I gave it back to her before I visited her again.

So… how did it go?

^^ a live reaction from me reading this book

It’s certainly better than Throttled, but despite its name, Pole Position never quite makes it into Q3. It features some accurate racing lore and a decent amount of character moments, but I also found one of the leads insufferable and that the author often sacrifices realism or coherent storytelling for the sake of tropey story beats. If you want thrilling on-track action and homoerotic tension, you’re better off watching actual F1.

~~Spoilers ahead~~

Kian Walker is the reigning world champion and an F1 legend, known for his seriousness and ironclad discipline. At 33, with four world titles under his belt, he constantly faces questions on when he will retire. Unfortunately, his reliable second driver Elijah (his Bottas or Barichello) suffers a season-ending injury. (He slips in a swimming pool, Lmao). Kian discovers that, to his horror, Elijah’s replacement is none other than rookie and hashtag-messy bitch, Harper James. 

From the outset, Harper is like, one of the biggest gaping holes in the book’s attempt at racing realism. Less realistic than a good Ferrari strategy. Even as an F2 driver (which, for some reason, is only ever referred to as “the lower categories”-- is F2 trademarked or something?), he has an outsized reputation for partying hard, grinding on random guys in the club, and generally being a PR nightmare. IRL, F2 drivers get dropped from driver academies or teams all the time, often for seemingly arbitrary reasons. It makes no sense why a top team like Hendersohm, the reigning constructor’s champions, would develop and promote driver who can’t keep it in his fucking pants, no matter how talented he is on track.

Also, he’s 25, which is geriatric for an F2 driver/ F1 rookie and thus is confusing when other characters act like he’s the second coming of Senna. (Though given how old Kian is, it would have been kinda gross if Harper was standard rookie age.) 

As a sidenote, some people on Goodreads were saying that this book reminds them of Carlando, or perhaps was marketed that way by the cover. THIS IS NOT CARLANDO. Kian is way older and much further along in his career than Carlos, and he's British instead of Spanish. Harper is so annoying and pervy that I would honestly be offended on Lando's behalf if this is what people think of him. I think the closest examples would be Sebchal or Alonso and Hamilton during their stint at McLaren, given that it's a WDC versus hotshot rookie situation. But even so, as I'll get into later, there isn't much in the way of rivalry.

^^ OK the hairography is very Carlos tho.

Another thing that pissed me off about Harper is that he is just annoying. His narrative voice is grating, and he is constantly pestering Kian (and even making borderline harassment suggestive comments about Kian, like asking if he swims naked).

Things reach a boiling point when Harper and Kian are interviewed and lose their tempers, Harper arrogantly insisting that he’s a better racer than Elijah and Kian negatively comparing Harper to Kian’s father, a former F1 driver whose career was overshadowed by his messy personal life. (Points for realism, Kian being a nepo baby with a problematic dad. Nelson Piquet or Jos Verstappen, anyone?) Both characters have as much media training as Sauber has points-- basically none.

(Also, this scene generally shows the author does NOT understand F2. Harper says he made money as an F2 driver when IRL, you have to PAY literally a million dollars for your seat, and even with sponsorships most drivers do not break even. Further, the interviewer says that Harper received his “first podium win” in the preceding F2 season, which Harper claims was “record breaking” for him. How did he stay in F2 until 25 without podiuming a single time, and then have a “record breaking” points haul? Unless “podium win” is their weird way of saying it was the first time he got top 3 overall in the championship?)

Harper is also friends with a Red Bull driver, Johannes, whom he's known since karting. (Johannes was probably my favorite character, even though he is also kind of the “Black best friend” trope.) Johannes warns Harper that if any driver brings bad press or pisses off the sponsors, they can be easily replaced by the next hotshot rookie. This is all true in real life, but it doesn’t ring true in the book: Harper is KNOWN for being messy and keeps getting into trouble, but his career never truly feels imperiled. If a single one of Harper's various shenanigans happened IRL, he'd be out of a seat faster than a Red Bull second driver. Also, I have no idea how Harper would have never picked up on the precarity of his career at his big age of 25 when even feeder series drivers and karters know they have to scramble and suck up to everyone they know to get even the slimmest shot at an F1 seat.

Anyway, first race of the season– Bahrain. A couple more technical/ terminology inaccuracies and sus moments. The Grand Prix is referred to as “the Prix” (which I’m pretty sure Throttled or one of the other F1 romances, maybe Downforce, does), and Harper mentions that “the halo is secure”... are there times when it’s not?? And then during a race, Harper is in P3 and battling someone for P2, but despite battling for position he's GAINING on Kian in P1, which doesn’t really make sense unless Kian's tires are absolutely shot. (Tire strategy/ pitting is almost never mentioned in this book, so who knows.)

The on track action Exists. It is mostly dry summary, narrating who is in what place, and lacks the visceral sensory details you’d expect from someone flying around a track at 200+mph. In a regular race, the F1 commentators do a better job at narrating the drama and emotions that someone feels behind the wheel. 

(Exhibit A: the Italians when Leclerc does literally anything cool.)

To explain his dickish behavior, we learn that Harper is somehow a *foster child*?? Which makes absolutely zero sense given how expensive a karting/ single seater career is. It feels like that beginner-writer tendency to nonsensically traumatize your blorbo because you think it makes them deep, even if it makes no sense. You could have given him rich but absent parents, or he could even be adopted, just by a wealthier family! Or something, please!

Kian also has his own shit going on: his cheating/ alcoholic/ famous driver/ absent father, and also the fact that his mother has early onset Parkinson’s. His sister is the full time caretaker for their mother, and he constantly feels guilty about not being able to be there for her and their family. This part was actually fairly well done, which I was not expecting. (Hooray for dementia and caretaking rep in F1 yaoi!) The author indicates in the dedication that her own grandmother had Parkinson’s, which is likely why it feels much more emotionally real than some of the other storylines

After Harper is a sore loser and publicly refuses to shake Kian’s hand on the Bahrain podium, they make a “compromise”-- Harper will work out with Kian, and Kian will go out to a club with Harper and learn to be nice or loosen up or whatever. (Which would be a fine character arc, if the only person Kian was unfriendly to wasn’t just Harper, because Harper is annoying.) It’s also highkey implied that Harper straight-up doesn’t work out or does so infrequently. He acts like Kian is weird for working out every day? When they’re both PRO ATHLETES? My guy has no diet plan, no physio, no workout plan, no nothing. Literally out here rawdogging F1. Anyway, they do go clubbing, and Kian lowkey gets turned on by Harper’s dirty dancing, after which we get some corny narration about his “burning desire” for Harper and this gem of a line: 

Oh and also. Fernando Alonso CANONICALLY EXISTS in this book. 

Like yes, Red Bull, Haas, McLaren, and Ferrari all exist in the book, but a real, current driver canonically existing is fucking weird. (I wonder what in-universe Fernando thinks of all of this. It pales in comparison to the crazy multiple wdc vs rookie teammate drama that he had IRL w/ Lewis.) It’s also weird in combination with the other really hazy worldbuilding. Even though McLaren is Hendersohm’s biggest WCC rival, their two drivers are just referred to as “the two McLaren Swedes” or “the brothers” and DO NOT HAVE NAMES despite existing in several scenes. 

Also there’s kind of an icky scene before the Miami race where Harper is absolutely sloshed from going clubbing in Miami during a race week (which again, huh?), and Harper and Kian start making out even though Kian knows Harper is WAYYY too drunk to consent. Kian ends up leaving, but it takes an uncomfortably long time. It’s portrayed as a mistake that Kian kissed Harper because they're teammates, not that Kian kissed Harper while he was literally too drunk to consent. 

Anyway, one of the commentators also tells Kian that there’s going to be a “Kian Walker night” at one of the local gay bars in Miami, which is kind of funny to me because he’s not publicly out, is pretty masc presenting, and seems relatively dripless. Anyway, comment down below which real F1 driver should get a theme night at a Miami gay club. I think a Franco or Carlos themed night would go hard.

But wait! There’s only one motorhome!

It’s one thing for a fluff fic to have some absurd contrived shenanigans like this, but an actual book that is trying to be serious and semi realistic? Y’all please. 

(To be fair, David Coulthard and Mark Webber once revealed that the Red Bull hospitality used to only have one shower, and given the tight time constraints in driver schedules, they literally had to shower together. So sometimes, reality is even crazier than the most contrived romance tropes.)

Anyway, because he’s determined to never let Kian know peace, Harper is intentionally super messy in their shared motorhome, ogles Kian’s booty while he’s doing morning yoga, and then brings in some nameless twink to hook up with in their shared motorhome to make Kian jealous. (The guy is literally nameless. Harper refers to him the whole time as “the twink” the entire time.)

(Someone should write a gender studies thinkpiece here about how Harper’s objectification and disdain for his usual more feminine, “easy” hookups mirrors the straight romance fuckboy’s objectification and disdain for “slutty” girls. Also, Harper and the standard hetero fuckboy reject these hookups they look down on for a “not like other girls girl”/ a more masculine guy who demands commitment.)

One thing I did like is that there were less stereotypical gendered/ power related dynamics than in hetero sports romance books. (Well, really just Throttled and the other bad ones I’ve seen funny YouTube reviews for, like Moonshot.) Usually, the male character has all of the power– they are older, famous and rich, a guy, physically imposing, and established in their career. Meanwhile, the female character is *three apples tall* and clumsy, usually an everywoman/ self insert character without a strong career. Thus, I get grossed out when the guy character is also the sleazy fuckboy who borderline sexually harasses– I mean flirts with– the female lead because of the power dynamics involved. Here, it’s a little less bad because even though Harper is kind of a perv, he is not the one with greater power or influence on the team. 

Harper ends up doing absolutely dogwater in Austria and literally gets P-Last, costing Hendersohm the lead in the championship, then has a breakdown in the garage. The book does a relatively good job at portraying how media speculation about a poor performance leads to self doubt and creates a negative psychological spiral, which I did like. It engages with the media ecosystem as part of the F1 landscape way more than Throttled. But anyway, turns out the thing that threw him off is that some guys he had a foursome with years ago are trying to blackmail him for money. I don’t mind that there is basically no homophobia in racing in this book (Harper is openly gay), but I guess the public draws the line at having a foursome? 

Harper ends up crying in the motorhome (at this point I did feel genuinely kind of bad for him), and Kian ends up comforting him, and then they have a good old fashioned heartfelt trauma dump to smut pipeline. The sex is like, fine. Medium tire on a scale of soft to hard. It’s not as cringy or over the top as Throttled, but, like the racing, it’s more a bunch of descriptions that could use way more character moments, sensory detail, or emotion. 

Midway through the book, Kian is handily winning the championship, which is fine and all but feels like a missed opportunity to add tension or a rivals to lovers vibe. What’s the point of making them teammates (who are super close but also often the most competitive rivals) when they won’t actually have a rivalry subplot? Harper performs well but virtually always finishes behind Kian; there are few on track battles and no strategy drama. At least make it like Alonso and Hamilton or Seb and Charles, where the rookie actually is giving the seasoned WDC a run for his money and causing angst and drama over the older driver’s potentially fading career. This change would also actually improve the romantic arc– the characters are supposed to dislike each other from the outset, and what better way to do that than make them on track rivals, instead of just making one of them really really annoying? 

In the absence of racing related drama for Kian and Harper, the main conflict in the relationship is pretty predictable romance fare. They’re in a tenuous hookup situation where Kian wants an exclusive relationship, but Harper struggles to rid himself of his self loathing and commitment issues. Their personal lives affect their racing (Kian literally “crashes out” in Italy and gets into an accident after Harper turns down his offer of a relationship), but the racing itself largely takes a backseat.

Their conflict is solely interpersonal and just rehashes story beats we’ve seen a million times before, when it would be relatively easy to also cause relationship problems via racing drama. Ex. what if one of them feels as though the other is taking better strategies or is driving too aggressively or is scheming to put them out of a job? (Despite the hype about Harper’s risky driving style, it’s barely mentioned in the racing scenes.) The sports part of the sports romance is more of a backdrop for the story and, rarely, an outward representation of the main interpersonal conflict, rather than inextricable from the story itself.

It is sweet to watch Harper open up more, and Kian and his sister try to provide the loving family they didn't receive as children. But at the same time, the writing often isn't strong enough to carry the emotional weight without it coming across as corny.

Re: accuracy, Harper passes someone under the yellow flag, which in most cases is illegal unless the yellow flag is only on a portion of the track. (Given that the yellow flag is for the serious accident in Italy that puts Kian in the hospital, I’d say this move would be illegal IRL. Also, they never clarify whether it was Monza or Imola, LOL.)

Anyway, there is a rest of the book. I’ve been spoiling throughout, and the ending is pretty predictable, but skip until the last paragraph if you’d like.

Harper and Kian decide they’re done with each other after Harper literally chickens out on asking Kian to a dinner date. Right after, Kian’s mother passes away, and he skips the Singapore race to be with his family. (Again, this choice would have more emotional stakes had he not literally been leading the championship and nearing the all time record of driver points. He doesn’t give anything up except the points record by choosing to go home.) He also blocks Harper, who is spending a night trying to get wasted and party it up before realizing that he actually DOES want a relationship with Kian. Johannes tells Harper he’s embarrassing himself and convinces him to rush to the UK to support Kian. (Despite Harper lowkey being emotionally absent for much of their relationship.)

Harper surprises Kian at the funeral, and they reconcile relatively quickly. For me, I think Harper needed to do a bit more to show he had changed, but oh well. They do get secretly photographed together at the wake, outing Kian and exposing their relationship, though the fallout is actually minimal.

(Homophobia doesn’t really exist in this F1 universe, *except* in Qatar and Dubai. Which. Hm. Seems a little racist but OK.)

While staying with his family, Kian finally decides he will retire at the end of the season to spend more time with his loved ones. It makes sense for his character arc, but it doesn’t feel built up to enough, especially since he spends much of the book insisting to himself and the media that he won’t actually retire. Since he handily wins the championship (even after entirely missing Singapore for the funeral), there isn’t even an element of tension about whether or not he will prove the haters wrong about his form as an aging driver. It doesn’t feel like he is giving up that much, so his choice to retire doesn’t feel emotional. I think it would have been more meaningful had he lost the championship (perhaps because he chose to skip Singapore) and retired anyway, instead of trying to get another title and prove the haters wrong.

So Kian wins the WDC and retires, blah blah blah. There’s a time skip to an epilogue (because of course there’s a “where are they now” style epilogue), where Harper and Kian are engaged, and Harper, now teammates with Elijah, won the WDC in the following year. (Rip Elijah… thus is the life of a second driver.) The end!

Overall, I give it 2 out of 5 tire compounds. It’s not bad compared to other romance books I’ve read, but it’s also way worse than stuff I’ve read on Ao3 for free. If you can’t get this book from your library or in a giveaway like my cousin, save your money. Again, it boggles my mind how dramatic real-life F1 lore is (cf. Brocedes, or Prost and Senna, or even Seb and Charles or Fernando and Lewis if we’re talking rookie-old man rivalry), and how easy it would be to write an emotionally rich love story that uses even a tenth of the conflict from these real life rivalries/ friendships. But instead, we get the same tired story beats we’ve seen a thousand times before, just played out in front of some shiny carbon fiber as a backdrop.