bordering extremes

A BPD (borderline personality disorder) blog for borderlines looking for advice, assistance, or a place to vent (inclusive of self diagnosis).

[borderinglines]

Any bpd related songs ?

@borderlinetunes is inactive now but the blog consists entirely of songs that give people borderline vibes/feels!

[bpdspyro]

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[thaliasixteen]

for all of the other sweet borderlions and cluster b’s out there, this is a free online dbt course, with worksheets/homeworks/a nice little community to talk to.

even if you’re not borderline or cluster b, it would be really sweet if you’d reblog this so more people can see it! :)

[asking-the-death]

[moonlitpoems]

when someone with anxiety asks ‘do you love me?’ ‘are you sure?’ don’t get angry.  we’re trying hard, but sometimes we need reassurance.  we feel like no one likes us sometimes. deep down, we know it’s silly.  but that doesn’t stop us. we’re still learning. be patient. 

j.e.b. ((about a girl with anxiety that thinks everyone hates her.))

[lessbienreyna]

isn’t it kinda weird??? how people don’t pick up on details??? and freak out over smallest things??? like people don’t notice how the other persons voice goes higher or lower during a convo and doesn’t start freaking out over them hating you? and people don’t notice how others can start texting shorter replies in a less enthusiastic way and they don’t actually start hyperventilating when it happens? i wonder what that’s like tbh not to be paranoid over every little thing and how it is not to have breakdowns over the smallest changes in someone’s voice or facial expressions or even the frequency of their texting imagine what a simple life these people must have

[borderinglines]

Why do I want attention. Why do I want everyone to like me so much. Why why why. I hate this :(

Wanting attention and wanting people to like you is definitely not a bad thing. I know the lengths that we tend to go to get that attention and validation can be dangerous, but the act of wanting those things is not. Of course there's a negative stigma attached to wanting attention—we always hear about "attention seekers" and how manipulative they are, how deceptive they can be. Obviously we internalize that message and believe that it's true about ourselves, we believe that everyone is secretly annoyed with us or doesn't actually care. But that's not true, and you aren't needy or clingy or a bad person for the things you want/need. For most borderlines, receiving attention and validation is necessary for survival. You want it because it's a hallmark of BPD, but again, that doesn't make you a bad person at all.

[smelsea]

[borderinglines]

I was wondering if it was normal for people who have BPD to often change voices? I know I make my voice sound higher to sound more feminine because I think people would hate my real voice...

I've heard similar accounts and seen similar actions from borderlines before, so I'm sure there is a connection (need for attention/to be liked, unstable sense of identity/self, etc.) somewhere!

[trophywive-deactivated20250803]

having a mental illness is LIT

L - literally destroying my future prospects I - irreversibly damaging my relationships T - tiring and draining

[borderinglines]

When you have bpd and you have no friends because of it. And you're dreadfully tired of always being the bad guy. And everything always being your fault.

This may or may not help, but I’ve been in the position many times where I believe that everything is my fault and people view me as the bad guy—many many many times. Something that helped me is realizing that I’m not really the center of everything. I mean, I’m hyperconscious of everything I do and how I act and what I say but people rarely, if ever, see things the way that I as a borderline do. So many times I’ve felt like I’ve ruined a relationship or a conversation only to realize that the other person barely noticed what I did. The bad things about you that you notice and hate and do, no one else really notices them. They don’t hate you, it’s not your fault, you aren't a bad guy. You’re okay.

[borderinglines]

Hi, I last something online about "quite borderline" is this real? Because I think I have bpd but I'm not sure..? I also can relate more on the "quite" one than the "normal" one, is this possible?

Yes, quiet borderlines are a recognized group of borderlines who tend to act “in” rather than acting “out”. Instead of being loud and large about their hatred, sadness, agony, etc. quiet borderlines turn it into self-hatred and self-harm (which isn’t to say that “normal” borderlines can’t have those same traits, because they can, but it’s certainly more pronounced among their “quiet” counterparts). Here is some more info on quiet borderlines:

The designation “quiet borderline” describes a personality style sometimes present among people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but one that isn’t well known. When we think of a person with BPD, we often imagine someone who angers quickly, who rages, cries and throws tantrums—who is unable to keep herself from expressing negative emotions in an outward and punishing way. Someone who is a “quiet borderline” rarely exhibits acting out behaviors and instead “acts in.” Acting in refers to hostility, aggression, anger and other potentially self-injurious emotions being internalized rather than verbalized or used to fuel behaviors that impact others. This constant internalization of intense negative emotions often means that others are unaware of the extent to which people with “quiet” BPD experience despair and pain.

Even the individuals who have it may be unwilling or unable to acknowledge the possibility of a BPD diagnosis for a long time, as some of the more characteristic behaviors common to BPD may not seem to apply to them. However, any person diagnosed with BPD—whether “quiet” or not—will have met the diagnostic criteria.People with “quiet” BPD often experience a sense of isolation and a lack of connection to the outside world. They may spend a great deal of time and energy rationalizing and denying the effects of their unstable emotions, then harming themselves psychologically or even physically, in despair over their inability to feel in control. They may feel confident one moment and deeply self-hating the next. This inconstancy in self-appraisal is common to all people who suffer from BPD; the difference is that those with “quiet” BPD are far likelier to hide this emotional reality from their loved ones in a way that eventually becomes painfully isolating.

Now, the term is not very popular in BPD communities. It tends to create a hierarchy of “good” versus “bad” borderlines, where quiet borderlines are considered the better of the two. Despite this, I do think it’s important that people know that acting “in” is a valid way to experience BPD. I might not support the same terminology and division, but I do support the idea that BPD looks different on everyone, and if learning about quiet borderlines helps you realize that you’re borderline yourself, I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

[borderinglines]

Do you have any advice on how to stop someone from becoming your fp? There is this guy and I know that he does not feel the same that I do- he has literally said so. But I can't stop being such a BPD piece of shit and getting so attached and I don't think I can take getting hurt again.

Here is a link to a similar question with some added suggestions by someone who was able to do stop someone from becoming their fp. Additionally, you may find that the tips for dealing with real, rather than perceived, abandonment might help you get over this loss. While I've personally dealt with imprinting on less than suitable fps, I've never been able to stop myself. But I know it's possible! I hope that you're able to get through this hard time and stop this person from becoming your fp.

[borderinglines]

i keep feeling like im not actually borderline because i might be faking it and im self diagnosed and im scared that i dont actually have bpd and that ive just been faking and lying to everyone to get them to feel bad for me, but im not, i think

I think that fear is a very borderline fear in and of itself! We constantly have to question these aspects of ourselves as part of our unstable identity and rocky relationship with our own perception of “me”. There’s nothing wrong or invalid with self diagnosis—I know it seems like the you don’t have BPD because of it, but even borderlines with a professional diagnosis feel the same, which probably means you are borderline if you think you are! That doesn't make you bad or wrong at all.

[holyhoodlum]

[simcaa-deactivated20191217]

Borderlines lack a constant, core sense of identity. The borderline does not accept her own intelligence, attractiveness, or sensitivity as constant traits, but rather as comparative qualities to be continually re-earned … Who she is (and what she does) today determines her worth, with little regard to what has come before. She feels the need to prove herself over and over again. The borderline has difficulty grasping that she does not need to re-earn acceptance continuously and she is in constant fear that support could be withdrawn if at any point she displeases.

Jerold J. Kreisman, I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me, Understanding the Borderline Personality (via simcaa)

[scyphozoic]

i’m going to talk more about having BPD because fuck it. BPD is lacking emotional object permanence: you know someone just gave you reassurance and/or affection a few hours ago, but you literally cannot put yourself in the headspace you were in then and cannot access how it felt at all. you can’t take past reassurance and remember it or think about it and have it reassure you in the present. so without an active presence of some kind to activate those feelings (of relief, of not feeling unloved for once, of not feeling like a bad/harmful/annoying person) you are just stuck right back where you started, and fear that asking for more reassurance will make you annoying/harmful/manipulative. and cue the BPD spiral.