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@borderlineandanxious
Please, tell me I’m not the only one struggling with strong emotions? I get a mental breakdown every single day, in which I feel a mix of emotions all at once: fear, sadness, anger, anxiety... And tge whole world feels so huge and I feel small and all I wanna do is crawl up in a ball and die... :’(
Lmao, me everyday:
*Someone gets out of my life*
Me:
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
broken scale
TW ED
Yesterday, the scale we have broke, out of nowhere, and I freaked out. The thought of not being able to keep track of my weight destabilized me. Today my dad was able to fix it, but I don’t know why, I’m still a bit paranoid and think that it doesn’t work properly yet. I asked my sister and my mother to weigh themselves and see if they can match their previous weight with the one shown by the scale now, and they are not sure, but they do say that it should be right. I’m pretty sure that it works, but I don’t feel certain....idk, maybe I just don’t like the weight that the scale shows when I’m the one on it, but it’s still close to the number I remembered. It’s not high, it’s just that a part of me says that it’s not enough low. I know I shouldn’t let a number dictate my worth, but it’s so hard, I feel on edge, and I can’t even get help right now. My sister also laughed because I wanna keep track of my weight, and I felt so embarrassed... It doesn’t have to be something bad, why should it be?? She always talks about her diet, how much she is losing, and what she does and doesn’t eat. Why is it a problem if I wanna at least know my exact weight?? Ugh, I’m done with everything... I wanna buy a digital scale, since this one we have is an analog one, because at least digital scales are more precise.... Not only this one is not precise, but now I have the paranoid thoughts that it also goes 1/2 kgs higher, and that does not sit well with me.... well, my rant is over, sorry for the long post, but thank you if you got this far!!
If you'd like to help me keep the lights on and support my channel, you can donate over here:https://www.napiorkowska.net/donations#anxiety #depression #hope...
❤. The video and channel are not mine, but I found it on my homepage and it sure helped. I hope it can help you, at least a little bit, too.
I actually had planned to write on here more often, but sometimes I just lose my motivation. There’s not much interesting about my life, besides the fact that I am struggling every single day with no pause. Anyway, just letting you know that I am stilll alive, lol. I do wanna post more here, also for myself. I feel like it would help me more to log my thoughts and not keep things on the inside. But let’s see how it goes. If I disappear again, it’s because my depression has drained me one more time, lol.
Lol
Ever felt like a waste of space? Because lately i just want to disappear :)
Lol, so relatable.
Not to sound dramatic, but I've got absolutely no connection with my family. I feel such an outsider in their regards. And it doesn't matter how hard I try to get things right, I always seem to screw it up in some way, and they always pick on me for the slightest reasons, telling me that I am stupid and a failure. This makes me feel so lonely. I've literally got none. Just me and my depressing thoughts...
Thought I'd drop this reminder here. I don't know who needs to see this, but I hope it can help. ❤️
Pic from @blezzingdada on Instagram.
Tw: ED
I would like to buy a digital scale, (I only have an analogic one, but they're not as specific of course), and also a food scale, but I don't know where to get the money from!!! Besides, that would also make my mom suspicious. 😭 At least I'm still managing to lose weight tho, that's a win...
You don't have to be necessarily hopeful about the future. Even simply being curious about what might come is enough
Anonymous
