BPD Momma @borderlinemomma - Tumblr Blog

I can no longer handle being a human punching bag.

#actually borderline #borderline personality problems #major depressive disorder #depressing shit #living with borderline #mental illness #mental health #tw bruising #tw choking

borderlinemomma

Reblogging since it’s BPD awareness month!

borderlinemomma

i-will-recover-tomorrow

You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands shake it off, AND YOU STAND.

#rascal flatts #stand tall #be proud #trauma survivor #actually borderline #living with borderline #alone with my thoughts #all alone

remanence-of-love

thereadmind

histhoughtslately

Accept this change and move on…

Break the cycle.

I guess this is how you are forced into a new beginning. I will get my light back. I will shine again.

#actually borderline #borderline personality problems #mental health #major depressive disorder #alone with my thoughts #depressing shit #all alone #break the stigma #tw dv #being alone #new beginnings #starting over

I’m a warrior. I’m a survivor. You will no longer control me. I CONTROL ME.

#abuse survivor #tw dv #strong #break the stigma #mental health #all alone #im doing my best #alone with my thoughts

I feel so stupid.

Stupid for believing each “I’m trying” “it’ll get better” or “I’m sorry”

I’m also stupid for believing I was crazy. Or believing I couldn’t do life on my own. You made me feel worthless.

Here’s to being the best single momma I can be. My baby girl is my world and she’s definitely all I got left.

Someday. Thats all I got. Someday I’ll

Be happy. (Maybe). Someday maybe I won’t be a shell of myself anymore.

But today, I won’t let you have power over me. Today I can try to control my fear. Today I can learn how to feel safe.

I am not a victim. I am a

Survivor.

I am not crazy. And I am definitely not alone. For now I am safe. But I am constantly looking over my shoulder. I am constantly afraid. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I am numb. They say it’s the PTSD.

I will stop the cycle. Since childhood it’s been bad man after bad man after bad man.

Even if I have to be alone the rest of my life.

I WILL BREAK THE CYCLE.

#tw dv #depression #alone with my thoughts #anxiety #break the cycle #break the stigma #abuse survivor #trauma bonding

You are free, or about to be.

That is something I will never be again.

Constantly looking over my shoulder. Making sure my doors are locked. Making sure I am safe. Dont go to the store alone. Always have your phone charged.

Yet you are free.

Mentally, I am in torment. Could be the concussion. Could be the PTSD. Could be a number of things. Logically I know I could never go back to you. The rest of me is confused why I still love you.

Is this a trauma bond? Was this all a fake?

Hoping to someday be normal again. Be happy again. Everyone says I deserve it. It’s just going to be a long long road to get there.

forever-deep-in-thought

You hold yourself so well, people would never suspect you're going through hell.

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