Something that helps
If you blurt out something that you thought would be funny but it comes across as insensitive, just quickly say, “I’m sorry, that was rude, what I meant was…”
If you say something in anger or frustration, take a breath and say, “I’m sorry, that was hurtful, let me rephrase…”
If you say something heartfelt, but it comes across as insincere or ironic, say “That sounds like I’m just saying it, but I’m being truly honest…”
If you accidentally tell the waiter “enjoy your meal” just laugh and say a quick “so sorry, my brain isn’t working today!” and you will most likely get a commiserating chuckle in return.
Most of the time, the other person will accept your apology with no harm done. Sometimes they even insist they understood what you meant the first time and clarification was not needed. At times, maybe they have a right to be upset, but it never hurts to apologize again so they know that you’re taking their feelings into account.
Repeat after me. It’s okay to be bad at conversation. Knowing how to apologize makes it easier.
(Also if you flub and something comes out in a way you didn't intend, it is okay to laugh at yourself and say, "WOW, that came out wrong, let me try that again...." Or if you need a moment to buffer, just say so. Most people are very patient and appreciate the clarification.)
