Wednesday Night
Taking action. Day four of writing - instead of writing later that I wished I had written.
Feeling tired, sometimes a little nauseous - never sure if Iām coming down with the big thing going around now, or if itās stress. What in the world could I be stressed about? Sigh.
I donāt know whether to pay attention to the news or whether itās healthier not to check it at all - maybe for days at a time. Never sure if Iām going to miss an urgent update. Miss that itās now illegal to go outside all together and all shipping and delivery has been cancelled...and the government needs me to do my taxes, right now. By mail - but donāt go outside.
I couldnāt possibly be in a more comfortable situation - at least right now - to ride out this storm, but I can barely make it an hour after Iām dressed and showered without feeling like I need to pace around, or lie down, or ask for the rest of the day off...picking up my phone, searchingĀ āboston newsā,Ā āreddit bostonā over and over again. Scanning for new threats.
Someone is out in the hallway - sneezing up a storm. I donāt even know if I already caught this thing a few weeks ago and developed antibodies. Even if I donāt get sick, the economy is still tanking - even more so than 2008, and I remember thinking at least that was the bottom. Maybe another 10 years from now, half the earth will be wiped out by an asteroid. Why not? Anything feels possible.
Socially, Iāve realized I wonāt be dating, making any new friends, or have any new acquaintances for up to 18 months, probably closer to two years, plus the past three years I spent in Nashville mostly on pause. I was getting ready for dinner tonight and actually considered looking for video dating opportunities...the ultimate in non-commitment...ugh. Just what I need aĀ ārealā person whoās essentially an imaginary friend.
Yes...found something to pull me out of despair. Music as always...stumbled across a James Blake Instagram Live stream from two days ago. Took about 30 seconds for me to relax, enjoy myself, and clear my head...only leaving subconscious space to interpret notes.
Also, read an article on virtual dating and it sounds like some people are already doing it across a few of the apps already. Who knows...maybe Iāll have a chat lined-up this weekend...either way, I managed to get a few more rolls of toilet paper and some beef jerky today. Iāll take that as a win.














