when writing: enemies to lovers
i decided i wanted to start a little series called when writing: (insert trope, plot point, story aspect, cliche). feel free to (and please do) recommend anything of the sort stated above that you have any questions about or want to know how to write.
first one we’ll be talking about is my personal favorite: enemies to lovers.
i had this idea when i was reading a novel that was meant to be enemies to lovers, but then two chapters in everything was resolved—which not only turned me off reader-wise but made me wonder why it was marketed as a riveting enemies to lovers story— when it wasn’t that.
slightly disliking someone isn’t the same as despising them. slightly disliking someone doesn’t make them an enemy, it makes them someone you find disagreeable. those are two different things.
moreover, in my opinion, when two people have been plotting each others’ murder for weeks/years/however long they’ve hated each other, that hatred-filled way they thought of the person isn’t just going to disappear into thin air just because they did something nice for them.
after thinking one way for a long time, people will not easily be swayed into another way of thinking.
with that, i think, i’ve stated the most important part of enemies to lovers done well.
it’s the rawness, messiness of it all. the reluctance. if you’ve done it in a good way, your characters would have most likely been bloody awful to each other to start. and i meaaannnnn… they’re enemies. they should be.
don’t be afraid to have them be awful to each other because you think the readers will find it too harsh or not be able to forgive them.
i’m not saying make them commit a crime or anything… unless…?
they’re meant to be evil to each other. they are meant to annoy the reader too, so we feel like we’re coming around to the character when our main pal starts to as well. there needs to be that switch.
and chances are, when they do fall in love, instead of thinking something like “i want to write them love letters because i love them so much i feel like i’m on clouds,” they’d be thinking “i want to rip off their smile and put it in my pocket for safekeeping so it’ll never go away.”
so how do we get that aspect across in writing?
well. think of the person you dislike strongly or hate right now. you probably have an image in your head. now let’s say that they gave you a birthday card. would you suddenly forget why you didn’t like them in the first place? would you fall in love?
let’s say i told you that three months from now, you’d be in love with them. what would your reaction be?
right. i heard the laugh you let out just now (which, same).
i don’t think there’s another way to go about it than trying and failing and trying. read and watch lots of enemies to lovers media. good and bad (so you can see what not to do). remember the points i mentioned:
no matter how excited you may be to get to the romance, take your time. don’t let it be a brief hatred— your readers start your story from page one. saying “yeah they did hate each other for the past two years but you didn’t see that” isn’t showing it’s telling. show me at the beginning of the story what their relationship is. establish it. then ruin it and let them fall in love.
let them be awful to each other. don’t let fears of how it’ll be taken get in the way of you having your characters (regardless of age) act immature when provoked by the person who gets on their last nerve. it’s important to have them both be awful too; it’s one thing if one person is an angel and the other is satan incarnate. that is just not a good relationship period and not fun to read at all. in fact i’d say that’s just a toxic relationship. make sure it’s enjoyable awful. let your characters make other characters cry!!!!!!
make sure that the realization (and rest of the character coming to terms that they no longer hate &/ love their enemy) doesn’t undo everything you established in the beginning. just because they no longer hate each other doesn’t mean they never hated each other to begin with. make sure that their past plays a part in their later conflicts. i mean… they’ve been awful to each other. they’re not just going to sweep it under the rug. even if it isn’t the main conflict, it’s definitely not going to be forgotten, especially if the characters are arguing later on and one remembers something the other said to them. (bc we love drama here!!!!)
a lot of what enemies to lovers is is testing out situations, cutting some out, learning what works and what simply doesn’t. have people give you feedback on certain scenes— is this argument contrived? did i cross the line here? would you be able to forgive someone who did this or not? do these characters work together at all?
these are questions you need to be asking yourself throughout the writing process. the answers to these are what makes an enemies to lovers story enjoyable.
there are really important parts you need to remember too— and this isn’t a specific formula but a flexible reminder.
hate —> hesitance —> love.
or in layman’s other terms…
you are the worst thing i’ve ever come across in my life —> … wait… why did i dislike you? —> oh. i don’t (anymore).
without the first, it’s more just disagreeable strangers to lovers. which is okay. if that’s what you’re going for.
i think the fact that they do need to actually hate each other for it to be enemies to lovers is something that is often forgotten— but i think what’s equally forgotten is the reminder that there is no way these characters would just flip a switch and change their mind within a small amount of time. there needs to be that hesitance so it’s a gradual thing— and even if it isn’t a 50k slow burn you simply can’t rush enemies to lovers for it to be realistic.
some enemies to lovers media i recommend to learn from (whether good or bad i am not bold enough to specify here)
the unhoneymooners (book; especially good because the main characters have an unresolved external conflict even after resolving their own)
the princess diaries 2 (movie)
you deserve each other (book; one of my favourites, ever)
me before you (book & movie)
10 things i hate about you (movie)
lastly, here are some reluctantly falling in love with my enemy but can’t show it blurbs by yours truly.
as always, feel free to use :)
“oh my God, you absolute dunce. you’re sick, aren’t you?” “i’m not.” “you’re coughing right now! see!”
character b thinking they were having a moment but character a still has the mindset that they’re enemies and thinks it was all a joke… which hurts
ARGUMENTS!!!!! arguments. let them argue. often. especially when they’re falling in love, they won’t know why the arguing has changed from simple “i hate you’s” to “why do you want to get to know me? i thought we’re supposed to hate each other’s” and a bunch of other fun stuff
having character a do something nice for character b but character b instead thinking they have some ulterior motive
“if you die, i’m going to kill you.”
that “wait wait… did i ever hate them?” moment in the end of act two
“so help me God if you smile like that again i’ll eat it off your face.”
those conflicted feelings… character a hating character b but wondering if they hate them enough to give up on the chance to be with them
“you’re smiling at me.” “sure i am.” “i’m literally looking at you and seeing you smile at me right now.”
“i hate you, you know.” “i know.” i hate your smile.” “i know.” “and your face. it’s so obnoxious.” “i know.” “i’ve hated you for [x amount of time] so why is it that i can’t seem to get you out of my head now?”
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