some people donât understand what differentiates a special interest from an ordinary interest for autistic people. for me itâs about more than just intensity: when iâve got an SI on a piece of media, i see almost everything i come across through the lens of it, like iâm wearing a [media]-shaped filter on my glasses. to allistics and some other autistics (no generalisations here â this is my personal experience only) this may seem like âobsessionâ or ânarrow-mindednessâ or âbrainrotâ⌠âwhy are you associating this totally unrelated thing with the fictional world youâre stuck in at the momentâ?
an example: the poem i just reblogged below, by heidi priebe. my first thought upon seeing it was âthis is the advice madame vastra gave to clara in deep breathâ. but due to internalised cringe culture (ableism. call it what it is) i felt ashamed of tagging it as such and resorted to vagueing instead.
i remember when i was obsessed with the cthulhu mythos last summer, and suddenly every mention of the devil anywhere was nyarlathotep and every mention of new england and especially rhode island was a lovecraftiana reference. you get the gist.
iâm trying to cast off shame but it festers like a parasite within you