dancing samus @boyahshaka - Tumblr Blog

m1ne0h

r/place is not only the coolest social experiment ive seen in my entire life but probably one of the coolest things ive seen in my entire life in general

Im returning. I need..... expression

I feel afraid of my own desires, frightened to admit them to someone who would hurt me for opening up about how I am.

I live in a world where my physical appearance dominates how people WANT to see me. They judge and make expectations that I simply do not want to fulfill. I want to feel safe. I'm not the strong man who can lift heavy things anymore. I've been hurt. This time......possibly for good.

And I look at these women who I see so ready to strike the people around them and I'm afraid to go near them. I see the fear in their eyes too.

We are caged to our circumstances.

I just want to feel safe enough to let my mind drift into the comfort of being ok. To be held and to be cuddled. To be permitted to be myself. To have the privacy to be intimate. To be with someone who's voice captures me in its embrace and welcomes me to resume my deepest desires until I fall asleep at their side and be home at last.

I want to explore my passions and give in to my pleasures. I want to endure myself on the ecstacy of comfort and climatic experience. Food, entertainment, sex.....to give in and find peace in the emptied state of mind when given the chance to make myself at home. Home with the one I love.

Am I so wrong to want that? Am I to be spat on and vilified for what makes me feel ok? I want to get away from it all. The judgment and the looks of disgust.

I can't help it....how my mind sways and gets rigid, stubborn yet willing. I want a soft voice that calls to me and tears me away from myself. A voice that guides me into a world of happiness and calm that permeates every fiber of my being and simply let's me go to a place where I can be like a child. I am so young at heart. I want to just be okay with that.

I want to be good enough.