cluster b culture is constantly fighting the urge to do something that would hurt literally everyone around you, including the people you care about

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@bpdfeel
cluster b culture is constantly fighting the urge to do something that would hurt literally everyone around you, including the people you care about
me: wow, i think today's gonna be a good day
bpd:(:
me: oh god no
bpd issue #55
Assuming people hate you over the smallest little things because that’s all it takes for you to get upset.
me, after getting attached to someone: huh it's probably better not to get attached
I always forget that other people don’t have 6 severe mood swings a day and don’t have their entire mood changed just over one little thing. Like wow what’s it like to have a stable demeanor for once.
me: wow i really have my mental illness under control!
me, remembering i rarely have enough energy to bathe or brush my teeth: ah,
What I say: I’m shy What I mean: I’m dealing with two decades worth of trauma and neglect from interpersonal relationships and learned from a young age that it was safer to not draw attention than to be at the center of it
what bpd feels like
being alone in the dark
you don’t fit it anywhere. anywhere.
you don’t know anymore what your true identity is
every time you feel bad, it’s the worst you’ve ever been. there’s no hope.
every time you feel good, you don’t get why you ever felt bad. you can do anything.
you either speak too little or too much.
you’re either too impulsive and wild or too calm and boring.
whenever you say something, it always turns out wrong. you never know what’s the right thing to say.
if you love someone, you love like crazy. you’d literally die for them, and i’m not kidding.
if someone you care about and love says something that feels slightly off or doesn’t respond to your messages for a while, that’s it. they hate you. they never needed you. you’re trash and a waste of space.
when you hate someone, you hate hard. you split like crazy and afterwards hate yourself even more for it.
you feel like you’re always selfish and manipulative and talk about yourself too much.
you barely have control over your emotions. they hit you like a tsunami every time, leaving you drained.
you have impulses to self harm or do things that you know are blatantly stupid.
every day you want to die.
you’re pretty sure your friends are tired of you and your problems.
if you don’t let your anger out, it builds up in you and messes up your mind even more.
you have hard time making decisions.
you feel like you’re not worth shit because of the way you are.
you feel like everyone’s just lying to you because they don’t wanna be rude to you, but they all actually secretly hate you.
you don’t know yourself anymore. every day you have a different personality.
you’re actually scared of yourself and what you might do.
you just want to love others and be loved, but it seems impossible.
you hate having bpd.
YOU HATE HAVING BPD.
JinSoul - Singing in the Rain
not 2 b dramatic but i cant stop thinking abt killing myself
sleeping is nice until u wake up and realize ur still sad lol
Like how are ppl surprised when I show symptoms? I told you I’m mentally ill, what did you expect?????
that bpd feel when you mirror literally anything, that cool guy on TV? its me now. this awesome fictional character? it is me. an aesthetic post in my dashboard? yep, thats me.
Me: *listens to a song that makes me feel Bad Things™*
Me: Better listen to this song 2748 times on repeat
me: is given a simple task
also me: breathing becomes irregular, starts trembling, thinks about the worst case scenerios, loses rational thinking skills, starts feeling faint,
my parents, my therapist, literally everyone else: you're bad and the problem
me: ok, i'm bad and the problem
everyone: stop being self-deprecating to guilt trip people into feeling bad for you you manipulative piece of shit stop feeling bad for yourself