who am i.
i know theres someone deep within me.
this person is someone i like.
shes nice. i dont want her to go away, disappear into the depths of my mind never to come out again.
shes the part i like. the part thats sweet and innocent, wouldnt yell at you or harm you. just wants a hug. im not her now.
but i also am. i dont know how it works.
i dont really know how any of it works.
i got really sad because for a second i thought i lost her forever and she was never coming back but i know shes still there but shes not really coming out is she? not for now. she needs someone.
she needs someone good. she needs to be safe. she needs to feel comfortable.
thats who i am but im not allowed to reach into myself and bring myself out.
i feel like just a crazy piece of shit person, whos just being a piece of shit with a piece of shit mind. im being melodramatic. im not that amazing. im not great. i dont have amazing ideas. im just messed up to shit.
i always search for answers. i search for something to help me understand me. i want people to tell me what i am, who i am. it never works because the only person who really knows me is me. or is capable of knowing. but i dont really know very well that.
but i know im good. i cant be bad. its not me.
like all of this is just me, kate.
and i dont really want to be afraid