regression

a dysphoric depression • they/them • (vent account, i dont tag tw)

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where have my morals gone? my patience? why are my eyes closed and my heart ragged?

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nothing feels real anymore i just want to die

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im such an awful fucking person i make everybodt's lives worse

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i fucking h a t e myself

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beat beat poetry

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i am a whirlwind of changing thoughts

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me: hasnt eaten, <5hrs sleep, smoke too much, smoke too much, completely depersonalized, depressed

me: why am i so fatigued??

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i feel weak but also if i eat then i might feel nauseous

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the fact that i can still forgive and have well-meaning thoughts really says a lot

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HOW DO YOU MOVE ON SO FAST

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i feel so rejected. so abandoned. so fucking

betrayed

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I WANT TO DIE SO FUCKING BAD

horrible things keep happening to me! why is this such a punch in the gut!?!?!?!?!?

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okay this is harder than i thought lol

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im kind of trying

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im so broken lmao

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making lifestyle changes after emotional trauma instead of modifying my body

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if i didnt write in my journal to have the goal of not self harming today, i wouldve already ripped into my thighs. i bought a new blade a few weeks ago and i'm just waiting