Brain Expert

I am an expert on brains and I know everything about them. All information on this blog is God's Honest Truth. If you have any questions then Ask. He/Him

[brain-expert-official]

I would like to note that all posts in this blog are Fake and Not Real and Satire and I am lying on the internet for fun. I will otherwise commit to the bit here out of principle.

[brain-expert-official]

Fun Brain Fact Number #5: a beetle 🪲 is a type of bug 🦗🪰🐜 which is why it looks like that

[brain-expert-official]

If you want to you can download The Sims 2 (2004) into your brain and nobody can stop you

[brain-expert-official]

Next year they will release new lobe that lets you read 0.0001% faster!

[brain-expert-official]

They’re creating something called the Evil Medulla and it just kills you. Or so I’ve heard.

[brain-expert-official]

Brain Fun Fact Number 24: At any given moment, you brain could have up to five trillion weevils in it. Especially if you have rice or other grains in there!

[brain-expert-official]

Three monster energy drinks and a sleeve of Oreos for dinner is the best way to quickly improve brain health

[brain-expert-official]

You can take your brain out of your skull and draw stars on it in sharpie to make it look cool and pretty!

[brain-expert-official]

The ultimate outcome of microplastics is that the brain will turn into a bunch of small plastic beads. We’re not sure if that’s good or bad yet though.

[brain-expert-official]

I have developed a new brain procedure that puts a hole in the middle of the brain, making it donut shaped. Very fun and whimsical!

[sirwombat]

Is it safe?

[brain-expert-official]

It’s definitely one of the top ten safest brain procedures I do as a discount brain surgeon, yes.

[brain-expert-official]

I have developed a new brain procedure that puts a hole in the middle of the brain, making it donut shaped. Very fun and whimsical!

[brain-expert-official]

instead of asking chat png or whatever you can ask me questions and you can trust me because I have never lied once in my life and I have several brain science degrees

[brain-expert-official]

Things I can cure with my discount brain surgeries!!!

Liver cancer

Night terrors

Fear of sharks

Carpal tunnel

Having blue eyes

hair loss

The ability to feel romantic attraction

Hypertension

Get yours for cheap today !!

[brain-expert-official]

Brain fun fact Number Twelve: You can kill anything that annoys you with hammers if you want

[brain-expert-official]

Prion diseases are caused by misfolded proteins and are very hard, if not impossible, to cure, especially when they occur in the brain. Examples include:

Chronic Wasting Disease

Mad Cow Disease

Hole in Brain Disease

Kuru

Creuitzfeld-Jakob Syndrome (like from the chicken cannibals episode of the x files)

My Immortal

Being French

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Rabies

[brain-expert-official]

To those saying rabies is a virus it CAN be a prion if you just believe strongly enough that it is

[mrsterlingeverything]

My brain fell out got dirt all over it

[brain-expert-official]

Just wash it with soap and water for 15-30 minutes. Make sure to scrub it well and rinse the soap off before you put it back in

[brain-expert-official]

is staring at my favorite fictional enby good for my brain health. i think it improves my brain

Yes, that actually improves brain function by 120% and you should do it whenever possible