Disconnected

the hottest bisexual bitch around

[brainatbedtimearchives]

I think I'm going to make a new account & repost things on there in a more organized way. The user will still be brainatbedtime, and I'll change the name of this one to brainatbedtimearchive or something.

I'm due for a fresh start, and I might publish my "shitty poetry" in a little book someday, when I have enough to make one.

💕💕

[brainatbedtimearchives]

Y'all he's actually so pretty and he's so sweet to me omg 🤭 I am losing my shit bc literally nothing can go wrong 🥰 kicking my feet and giggling bc like actually??

[brainatbedtimearchives]

Guys my tummy hurts but I'm being really brave about it :(

[brainatbedtimearchives]

The thing about romanticizing my life is that I romanticized your part in it

[brainatbedtimearchives]

You were supposed to take the L train;

That's why I took the m14.

I could've taken the m23, or I could've just walked across town.

But, from that stop, you take the L train.

I took the m14 that day, but you turned left.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

Sometimes people aren't the villain.

Sometimes you both mess up,

And, sometimes, you just fade away.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

There's something so tender and soft about meeting someone before *meeting* them.

You might not even know–you most likely won't–but you can meet someone before meeting them:

In passing, online under random usernames, in every place mundane.

The thought that I have interacted with you and not know it was You brings me both joy and sadness;

I am glad I had known you, but I am grieving the you that I may have known.

If we met it passing or knew and forgot each other, it is so lovely that we found each other again.

But I cannot imagine forgetting you;

Your soul is a kind one that lingers.

Maybe that is why we came back to each other,

Or maybe we never met before at all, maybe I am thinking too much into this.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

Revisiting old graves does no good when they're empty.

There's no use in standing over a spot

Where no bodies lie, picking at emotions

That have been hung to dry.

There's no need to mourn over an empty tomb.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

You're really weird please stop stalking me ty

[brainatbedtimearchives]

You know, it's hard to write shitty poetry when you know someone's watching.

It's hard to write shitty poetry when you don't care enough to write shitty poetry about him anymore.

It's hard to write shitty poetry when your poetry isn't all that shitty.

And it's hard to write shitty poetry when you don't want to hide any part of yourself.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

I just want to see your face again. I just want to hear your voice again. How is it that we went from staying up till 3am, talking about everything and nothing and all that is in between, to actively avoiding any semblance of an interaction? I still am unable to grasp what truly happened. I feel that it was nothing but that that nothing is everything. I am angry and confused, but deep down all I feel is the emptiness that is the space you once filled. I want to know that you exist, and that you are happy, for that would be enough for now.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

If butterflies are never a good sign,

Then what does it say that I feel them with you?

Thoughts of you playing through my mind;

Is it wrong to hope that you think of me, too?

I find remnants of you everywhere I go,

In the warm breeze and the blooming spring trees.

You drink coffee, yet I think of you as I sip my morning tea.

If butterflies are never a good sign,

Then what does it say that I have them plastered 'round my room?

Is it too much to wish you were someday mine?

Is it too soon to say, "I love you?"

[brainatbedtimearchives]

I'm still at the station, waiting for a train that won't arrive

[brainatbedtimearchives]

I have to admit that I liked you.

You were refreshing, yet comforting–

Like someone I always knew.

You were like a new book, but you brought the emotions

Of rereading Pride and Prejudice for the third time.

I act as though you never mattered that much to me–

That I couldn't care less whether you went or stayed.

But, I have to admit that I liked you.

I liked you past what our in-class friendship was supposed to hold.

I liked you like you were someone I've always known.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

When I talk with others,

I don't want to bring you up at all.

You're already on my mind far too often for my liking.

I wish I could go back to when I wanted you to be my friend;

I'd rather long for a new connection than for a bridge that's already been burned.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

I think I saw you in my dream last night;

I don't remember what happened,

But my heart beats a bit faster when I think of you again.

I hope I get to see you before I leave;

Maybe this time I'll get to say goodbye.

[brainatbedtimearchives]

the hardest thing about being not normal

is realizing that you're not normal

I would much rather be oblivious to how others view me than always work to make sure I'm seen how I see myself