Brainbent

Young adults in a therapeutic setting have adventures, learn lessons and engage in sloppy makeouts. This AU deals with various mental health issues, abuse and sexual abuse, bullying, violence, suicide, gender issues, and issues of sexuality. Will contain shitty language, bad attitudes, unreliable narrators, inappropriate baking protocols, and Eridan's prose. Please proceed with caution if you are vulnerable to triggers. READ FROM THE START THE AUTHORS FAQ NEED HELP? CLICK HERE!

[brainbent]

Mercury here. I figured it’s well past time to say something, even though I’m essentially just the janitor, keeping the lights on and sweeping the floors from time to time as this flaming wreck of a website continues to burn down.

I don’t know where this AU was going, or if it ever will actually go anywhere again. I’m just in the dark as you all are. Luka is on twitter as vastderp if you want to ask him.

For my part - thanks to everyone who read, and sent us kind messages. I’m glad it helped people, and I’m sorry we couldn’t help others who needed advice. I hope you’re doing better now.

[brainbent]

A little update: I’ve gotten word that Luka does still intend to write an ending to wrap up the AU. Keep an eye out for it!

[brainbent]

Mercury here. I figured it’s well past time to say something, even though I’m essentially just the janitor, keeping the lights on and sweeping the floors from time to time as this flaming wreck of a website continues to burn down.

I don’t know where this AU was going, or if it ever will actually go anywhere again. I’m just in the dark as you all are. Luka is on twitter as vastderp if you want to ask him.

For my part - thanks to everyone who read, and sent us kind messages. I’m glad it helped people, and I’m sorry we couldn’t help others who needed advice. I hope you’re doing better now.

[Edit 24.04.2019: I’ve gotten word that Luka does still intend to write an ending to this AU. Watch this space!]

[brainbent]

Has any of you ever thought about becoming a parent? More importantly, is any of you a parent?

 TG: im having a baby anon

TG: and the baby is you

CG: WHAT THE FUCK, STRIDER.

TG: you didnt follow

TG:  just think it over bro

TG: let it allll

TG: sink

TG: in

CG: YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE ME A STROKE, AREN’T YOU? ORDERLY! MALE NURSE PERSON! LADY DELIVERING MAIL! YOU ARE ALL WITNESSES THAT THIS FRENCH VANILLA DWEEB IS TRYING TO MAKE ME HAVE A STROKE.

CG: ALSO, I THINK I WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT PARENT, AND FUCK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR MAKING FUN OF ME FOR SAYING SO.

TG: nah actually

TG: youd be a great dad

CG: …

CG: REALLY?

GG: as for me… hmm! i like kids, but id rather take them to the park and stuff them with soda and candy and them give them back to their parents XD

TG: so you’d rather be somebodys cool aunt

GG: yeah!! or maybe a babysitter or an au pair or something!

GG: getting paid to eat ice cream and watch movies with explosions in them would rock!

TG: where were you when i was six

GG: busy being only eight myself!!

GG: how about you rose? any secret longing to settle down and sprog?

TT: I have no real desire to continue the Lalonde line.

TT: I think instead I will raise triops.

GA: Triops

GA: What Are Those

TT: They’re little aquatic living fossils. Look, here’s one eating a carrot.

GA: Its Eating A Carrot

GA: While Sitting On Another Carrot

GA: Why Is That So Cute

GA: Can We Have Twenty

GA: Twenty Beautiful Alien Fossil Children

TT:  I thought you might find them appealing. Of course we can.

TT: Together we can dominate this puny realm with our vast army of weensy antediluvian horrors.

GA: Doki

GA: And Also Doki

TT: Ooh. Two dokis.

TA: ii’m wiith ll, only ii’ll 2tiick two bee2.

TA: le22 freaky 2hellfii2h 2liitheriing around two haunt my dream2, more free honey and 2pon2ored vloggiing opportwoniitiie2.

TA: but real iinfant2, fuck that noii2e.

TA: have you ever 2een 2omeone giive biirth, iit’2 completely dii2gu2tiing.

TA: you wiill never look at a bajiingo the 2ame way agaiin, oh my god.

TA: one tiime uncle boxcar2 had two 2iit wiith hiis cou2iin, 2he had two have a c-2ectiion

TA: and her hu2band wa2 siick and couldn’t come iin, and HB couldn’t thiink of an excu2e fa2t enough two get out of iit

TA: Dad 2 told me the progeny’2 head popped up out of her belly liike a jack-iin-the-box covered iin blood and whatever el2e they come out covered iin

TA: HB pa22ed out riight there on the floor, lmao.

TA: that guy ii2 the siize of a double wiide traiiler home, he priiz3 fiight2 liike other people play golf.

TA: he ha2 all the2e trophiie2 and everythiing, he ha2 offiiciially made two people pii22 themselve2 ju2t by glariing at them.

TA: and then he goe2 riight the fuck over liike a biig 2ad 2ack of briick2, bu2ted hii2 liip on the bed raiil.

TA: he got beat down by a 2qualliing neonate wiith abnormal neck mu2cle control, lol.

CG: HORRIFYING. I AM HORRIFIED. FUCK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD FOREVER.

TA: you are a2 welcome a2 ever, kk.

CG: IF I COULD DELETE THE PAST ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SECONDS FROM MY OVER-TRAUMATIZED BRAIN…. I WOULDN’T. BECAUSE I MIGHT FORGET HOW GROSS YOU ARE.

TA: <3 <3

CG: CATCH HERPES FOR REAL. ANYWAY, BACK TO SANITY, I WOULDN’T MIND BEING A PARENT EVEN IF THEY ARE GROSS. KIDS ARE SMART AND FUNNY AS HELL.

EB: hehehehe it’s funny you should say that karkat! when we played the game you ended up covered in tiny little versions of y–

CG: EGBERT.

CG:  I COULD HAVE SWORN I TOLD YOU THAT IF YOU MENTIONED YOUR STORY AROUND ME AGAIN, I WOULD PERSONALLY CONFISCATE YOUR SPINE AND FLOSS WITH IT.

TT:  Yes. Yes, you did.

GA: We Could Hear You All The Way From The Greenhouse

CG: WELL GOOD THEN! I HAVE WITNESSES.

EB: do what you must, karkat! the world deserves to know you were adorable and totally parental in an alternate timeline

CG: WELL WELL LOOK AT THE TIME, IT’S FLOSS O CLOCK!

CG:  ARE YOU READY TO SPELUNK THE UNSPEAKABLE CESSPIT BETWEEN MY MOLARS, YOU SMUG LITTLE SHITGIGGLE? I NEVER MADE A SCORE OF GROSS BUG BABIES AND NONE OF THEM EVER TOOK A DUMP IN MY HAIR THE COLOR OF ROTTEN EASTER CANDY

EB: whatever dude. it so happened.

TG: vantas

TG: please continue

CG: ANYWAY, YEAH. SURE, I’D RAISE A KID.

CG: EVEN IF I TURNED OUT TO SUCK ROYALLY AT CHILD REARING, I LITERALLY PHYSICALLY CANNOT DO ANY WORSE A JOB THAN ANY OF OUR OWN PARENTS, RIGHT? AND LOOK AT US, WE CAME OUT FINE.

GA: That Was The Most Rousing Pep Talk Of All Time I Am Genuinely Enthusiastic About My Impending Career As Assistant Aquatic Fossil Monster Motherhood

TT: I have a fresh invert trader catalogue in the greenhouse.

GA: Can I Lick The Stamp

TG: no one say anything

TG: …

TG: thank you please move along

[brainbent]

Does Gamzee have any new recipes to share? What are some of his old favorites?

TC: Yo aNoN! sO It tUrNs oUt iF YoUr cUpBoArD ZoNe iS LoOkIn’ AlL BaRrEn aNd sHiT, yOu cAn sTiLl bE RoCkInG ThAt bItChTiTs cOoKiNg mOjO. yOu jUsT GoTtA Be gEtTiNg aLl cReAtIvE WiTh yOuR FiNe sElF.

TC: LiKe, SaY It’S BeInG SoMeThInG LiKe 3:00 AM aNd yOu gOt a wIcKeD JoNeS FoR SoMe fUcKiN’ cOoKiEs, BuT YoU DoN’t gOt nO EgGs aNd tHe mIlK GoT ItS CuRdLe oN. yOu tHiNk ‘FuCk, I’M FuCkEd!’ rIgHt? NoPe.

TC: LeMmE WhIsPeR At yOu mY BeSt fUcKiN’ sEcReT, aNoN: yOu dOnT NeEd nOnE Of tHaT ShIt. YoU GoT BaNaNaS? yOu gOt pLaIn oAtMeAl wItH ThAt qUaKeR GuY AlL lIvInG oN tHe FrOnT? yOu GoT a PaRtY mOtHeRfUcKeR!

AT:  tHAT, iS DEFINITELY NOT THE QUAKER MAN, i KNOW AND LOVE,

TC: LiKe I sAiD, mY bEsT wHeElBrOtHeR, iT’s AlL aBoUt BeInG CrEaTiVe! :oD

AT: aND TERRIFYING,

TC: HeHeHeh NaAaAw He’S jUsT aLl bEiNg LiKe, ‘’WeLcOmE tO tHe SnAcK CaRnIvAl, My BrOs” ;o)

TC: BuT aNyWaYs: AlLs YoU GoTtA Up aNd dO Is uNdReSs tHeM LiTtLe mIrAcLe fRuItS AnD MaSh'eM Up, AdD OaTmEaL, AnD StIr tHe SHIT OuT Of tHaT ShIt. If yOu gOt iT, yOu cAn eVeN Be aDdInG MoRe mIrAcLe iNgReDiEnTs tO It: ChOcOlAtE ChIpS, cInNaMoN, nUtS, dRiEd fRuItS, wHaTeVeRtHeFuCk.

TC: aFtEr tHaT JuSt bE PuTtInG SpOoNfUlS Of tHaT HeAvEnLy gLoP In lIl rOwS On a pAn aNd bAkE’eM Up aT 350. fIfTeEn mInUtEs lAtEr yOu gOt yOu sOmE CaRbLiCiOuS PoTaSsIuM-HaViNg hEaLtHy-aSs cOoKiEs tHaT AiNt TASTING hEaLtHy hEhEhEhEh. ;o)

TC: ThErE’s oThEr bAsE StUfF YoU CaN Be sWiTcHiNg uP WiTh tOo, If y'AlL GeT SiCk oF BaNaNaS. lIkE, oNcE I HaD ThIs dUsTy lIl’ cAn oF PuMpKiN PiE FiLlInG AnD I WaS ThInKiNg 'WhY ThE FuCk nOt?’ sO I StIrReD Up sOmE Of tHaT WiTh sOmE OaTmEaL AnD SoMe cHoCoLaTe cHiPs aNd FUUUUCK tHaT sHiT wAs MoThErFuCkIn’ PhEnOmEnAl. 8oD

TC: ApPlEsAuCe wOrKs tOo. HeLl, EvEn pEaNuT BuTtEr iF ThAt’S WhErE YoUr cRaViNgS At.

TC: AlL’s I kNoW iS tHiS tRiCk SaVeD mY aSs So MaNy GoDdAmN tImEs, YoU dOn’T eVeN kNoW.

EB: that is the most horrifying thing i’ve ever seen!

TC: wHaT, mY wInDyBrO? tHe CoOkIeS oR mY qUaKeRbRo ArTiStRy?

EB: yes!

GC: S1L3NC3, 3GB3RT. >:] 1T’S B34UT1FUL.

TC: SeE nOw, ShE’s KnOwInG wHeRe It’S aT ;o)

[brainbent]

AC: :33 < what do you mean its creepy i practiced for like an hour

TG: no

AC: :33 < it means im normal now! just like you

TG: stop

AC: :33 < youre just jealous of my normalness

TG: yeah

AC: :33 < look at me strider look at my quiet hands

AC: :33 < so normal and lovable dave

TG: leijon plz

TG: i didnt invent applied behavior analysis

TG: why must you punish me

TG: your practically best friend ever

AC: :33 < im cured dave

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < meow?

TG: i have candy

[brainbent]

GG: now he works here!!!!

BQ: *sees squirrel*

GG: no way buddy! you are on the clock >:P

BQ: *mourns*

[brainbent]

Is this blog still active? I shore hope so bc i love this au <3

[it is not currently active, but we have not abandoned it. there will be more stuff as soon as the mods are able to work on it again. if we ever decide to end the project, we will post endgame spoilers and unfinished material so as not to leave you guys hanging. -mod vd]

[brainbent]

[May I please use some of the information from this ask blog on MSPARP? I enjoy the overall concept of this AU.]

[Please feel free! We are happy to inspire fanthings of all kinds.]

[brainbent]

so ive been re-re-reading this wonderful awesome project the past few days and i have a lot of dave feels that need to be expressed so ive been playing around w/ dissociation portrayal and this is one i actually kinda like so i thought i might submit it.

THANK YOU A LOT FOR THIS AU! it helped me through quite some stuff. c:

[brainbent]

[modpost: today’s canon is a bb endgame spoiler and i could not be happier about it]

tfw your au story arc is scooped by canon and you realize everything you wanted for that character has come true

we’ll wrap it up properly in the AU, but before you ask: yes, Hussie just did exactly the thing i was going to try and pull off, only so much better (cause hussie).

Breathe the air. Smile. Sleep restfully. the Dave is secured.

[brainbent]

Would it be alright if I made an rp blog for Bb Karkat? Like with my own headcanons for him and everything? I would give all due credit in my about page c:

[sure, go for it! have lots of fun! -vd]

[brainbent]

Have any of you ever had days when you just lost all will to talk? I went completely non-verbal for a few hours a while ago and it scared the hell out of me.

[do you think you might be autistic? it happens to me when i’m stressed, pretty common with the spergs.  not dangerous that i know of, but scary as shit the first time!

try switching to email/text and see if that helps. your brain might be noping out of too much social stimulus. -vd

ooops sorry i thought this was for my personal blog. will get back on it tomorrow from in-character.]

[brainbent]

Are you all still here? :(

[yup! we have not abandoned the blog, it’s just been hectic in the lives of the mods. sorry about that. if we throw in the towel, we’ll announce it, and tell you everything we had planned for the AU in a final post so you can get closure. -vd]

[the-real-seebs]

[brainbent]

Advice, support, and chatter.

[hey guys, this isn't my project, but i'm participating in it. remember how we used to do group hugs before it got too depressing? well, that's the main function of this site. i would like to give real-life advice in-character occasionally but this blog never felt like the place for it, so i've asked seebs to let me make a Brainbent AU thread for that purpose. it might work out, it might not. either way, it'll be a thing.

hope your winter is going well and nobody has turned into an ice cube!

-mod vastderp]

[brainbent]

TA: ii left iit on the craft room floor. to the faiire2t goe2 my heart. ehehe

[brainbent]

Nepeta do days have coulors and if so what are they?

:33 < mondays are blue

:33 < tuesdays are marmalade

:33 < wednesdays are calico

:33 < thursdays are tabby

:33 < and then theres frihorse!

D --> What color is that

:33 < blue, duh

D --> I believe you already said mondays were b100

:33 < look wise guy i dont make the rules i just enfurs em

D --> What about making it green

:33 < thats caturday

D --> Which leaves sunday

:33 < yup

D --> What is the color of a sunday

:33 < depends on the ice cream! 

D --> I don't

:33 < X33

D --> What

[brainbent]

I know that this is kind of in the FAQ but since their a special case i figured i would ask anyway, will davesprite be in this at all or has he just kind of been incorporated into Dave. Like I said, i know its in the FAQ but since its kind of the same person as dave i figured i would ask anyway.

[vastderp here to confirm that davesprite and Doomed/Beta Daves have been incorporated into Dave's character. i occasionally use orange line art when drawing him, too.]