Jim’s Story: “Don’t be serious all the time!”
I am a book lover, a movie buff, a grandfather, a husband, a playwright, retired baseball player, college professor. I played baseball at college, then stopped. Then I did softball. Then I thought, “hey I could do this again.” so I came back at my age, which was at the time 54. So then I just kept going with baseball until the stroke. My team was Albany Yankees. I almost made it to the minor leagues. I was a centerfield player and also first a baseman.
My career is playwriting. I wrote about 20 plays myself. I wrote plays for the theater. They were performed all over the country in LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, Florida. I wrote in Manhattan for years and then in Albany. I had many jobs at that time. I was as you know a playwright. But when you are a playwright, there’s not much money. So I had to do a lot of jobs, for example sports coach for little kids and then I was a bartender in the village. Then I was a college professor at NYU and at UAlbany. I taught playwriting- no musicals. I taught drama and comedy. I had one job in Manhattan, I would go on a train and teach, then I would come to Albany and teach with those students, then I would go back to Manhattan, every week.
I was born in Boston. Because my dad was a lawyer. He had kept changing jobs so we moved around. New York City, Holland, Paris, London, Boston again, Manhattan, Albany. That’s where I am now. I loved Europe a lot. My grandchildren, there’s two of them. One of them is Theo, his little brother is named Vincent they live in Paris.
It happened about one year and two months ago (January 2018). With my stroke, I was on vacation with my wife in Antigua. Suddenly, I noticed something was odd. I dropped my keys then put them in my pocket, then all of a sudden they dropped again. I thought “woah that’s odd” I tried it again, and it went down again. I thought this is really odd.
Then I went into the room and sat down, went to sleep. Then the next morning, my wife said “Hi how you doing” I said “rrrrrr”. My wife, Jamie, said, “what’s the matter with you?” She said “Give me your hands, go like this” I said “OK” and gave her my hands. She is in medicine, so she knew about this. She immediately knew this is bad. Something bad is happening. So the ambulance came and we went to the doctors.
The doctor in Antigua put me on the gurney and looked at me and said we have to do tests on him right here. It sounds like a stroke. I couldn’t speak at all. We decided we have to go back to America. I got onto a plane and went to Manhattan. We got in another ambulance. A lot of doctors were around my bed and said, “What’s going on with you.” I couldn’t help. The only word I could do was a song. I knew the tune. It was the “La Marsellaise.”
Then they took me to Hellen Hayes Rehabilitation for inpatient. I was there for 3 months. I got out of there and I started at St. Rose with Julie. And that’s where I am now. Everyone has helped me here. When I started all this, I couldn’t talk at all. Nothing at all. A year later I can talk more. It’s working with Saint Rose people.
I never had problems with walking at all, no problem. Reading is a challenge for me. Writing also. Spelling terrible, terrible, terrible! Strategies I use are text to speech for spelling with my phone, iPad, computer, and Apple Watch. I use those strategies to help me with all of this. The way it goes, I sit in my office and on the table of this office I have an iPad, a phone, a computer, and Apple watch. Sometimes I use the phone, sometimes I use the iPad, sometimes the watch or the computer. I switch between them. This helps me, especially with texting and spelling. I use text-to-speech to write my plays. On my computer I have Siri.
I am writing [a play] now. It’s about aphasia, that’s the idea. I’ve written about 2 scenes so far- there will be 9 scenes and an epilogue. That’s my plan. I have sketched out the plans. Some of it, I’ll make it up on the spot and see what happens. I’ll keep going. It’s about a young person, he’s 20 years old, who has aphasia. Now he has to read and write and spell, all these things. He was an Apple computer person, because I used to work at Apple myself. So this person had a stroke and wants to go back to work for Apple. He dreams about this. I doubt that he will ever do it, but he is trying to do it. We will read some of the scenes at the Moving Message in September.
I tell people to slow down when talking to me- that works very well. Last night at a dinner party, there was one guy who was talking so fast. Then his wife was in the dinner party as well and she talked to me slow and it really helped me. Slow down is the key for me.
I really like to go to the communication groups. I have one on Monday and another one on Friday. I really like the groups because I’m getting much better every day. By better, I mean that Julie and the students and the group members are very supportive. It’s fun and we have a good time. A lot of the time we laugh together. Oftentimes, we make mistakes and it’s funny. That makes me feel very good.
I talk much better- much better, much better. Reading much better. I had to stop driving because I had a seizure. Then the police said I cannot drive again until 6 months without a seizure. In February, the 6 months were up and I could drive again. I’m driving now. When I had the seizure, my wife had to drive all the time and she hated it. Now I drive and she sits in the car, so it’s much better.
Writing is much better. I learned strategies to help with everyday skills. I’m understanding much better. I still cannot spell, it’s terrible. So I have to use my phone and use dictated typing.
[Giving a speech at the Moving Message] was exhilarating, it was a lot of fun. I felt proud of myself about writing it. I felt proud. It was very nice for me that my daughter came up from Manhattan and she sat right next to me. That was very fun. When I got tired, she stepped out and she said part of the speech, so I can have a breather, because I was getting nervous. So I calmed down and then I continued. And then it was done. It was fun to see all of the people from all the groups and their families. Opportunities to speak with people who have some difficulties with aphasia. People who don’t have aphasia but who support the community.
I am just like you, except that I have aphasia, which means that I have difficulties with language. But otherwise, I am just like people. That’s it.
Please talk slowly. That’s the best thing you can do. When they talk to me, remember that I am just like you, except that I have a language difficulty. Otherwise I am normal. Also, make eye contact. Look at me in my face- that works. You don’t have to talk like I’m a dummy. I just have aphasia that’s all. I’m still smart- I hope! Talk normal but just slow it down a little bit. Don’t be shy about using humor.
There are many things I want to do. I like to have fun, to laugh, to work, to play baseball. I have my friends and family, especially Jamie and Chleo. I have so much that I want to live for every day. Sometimes I feel a little depressed, but I don’t sit in bed. Everybody gets sad sometimes, but it passes and then it feels better. So I am happy usually. I’m very optimistic. I’m not pessimistic, I’m not that kind of person. I have too much to do.
I like to laugh, so don’t be afraid to laugh with me. I like it. I’m not serious all the time. I like jokes. Sometimes, with aphasia, you make mistakes and it’s funny! I can laugh about myself, also. So don’t be serious all the time.