some hick who smokes like 87 joints a day and tailgates you then passes you in a do not pass zone going 65 mph in a 30 mph zone in his muddy jeep with no doors whose already balding at 23: well maybe immigrants shouldn’t have broken the law
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

JVL
almost home

blake kathryn
ojovivo
cherry valley forever
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty

@theartofmadeline

Product Placement

oozey mess

Origami Around
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@braintofu
some hick who smokes like 87 joints a day and tailgates you then passes you in a do not pass zone going 65 mph in a 30 mph zone in his muddy jeep with no doors whose already balding at 23: well maybe immigrants shouldn’t have broken the law
MOOD
this scene hit me hard
(via Anthony DeRosa)
LMAO
I’LL NEVER GET OVER THIS
I’m on strike today 🚫 #MoreFoodMoreBananas #DogsRights
Reblog if you're a Ravenclaw.
gryffindor | hufflepuff | slytherin
Winter is coming!! #tbt #throwbackthursday #murphyandfranklin #pet #petstagram #petsofinstagram #dog #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #corgi #corgiaddict #corgination #corgisofinstagram #ig #instagood #instacute #instagram #instacorgi #buzzfeed #buzzfeedanimals #winteriscoming
concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day
@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand
it’s this legendary horror post
it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post. this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS
“A lot of younger people pass by me while I’m running. It’s a bit of a metaphor for the rest of my life. I turned forty-seven in October. I’m starting to have bosses that are younger than me. It’s causing me to question what my experience is worth. I’m noticing that my younger colleagues are more adventurous and take more risks—either because they don’t know about failure or they don’t care. As I get older, I feel like more and more of my life is outside my control. That’s why I started training for the marathon. I want to be in control of something. I can’t control current events. I can’t control politics. I can’t even control my personal relationships. But I can control my legs. I can put one leg in front of the other. I can decide the miles that I run each day, each week, each month. And it feels great. I get a rush every time I make it to the top of a hill.”
i ghostwrote this
the types as bitches i hate in college and also ive had a lot of wine
ESFJ: that social butterfly bitch that doesn’t understand anything ever without asking twelve clarifying questions before you can explain shit, like i was gonna explain that obvious feature of your new iphone in four seconds chris, how about you chill and stop acting like IM the weird one
ISFJ: that boring nice bitch who has probably never had a unique individual thought in their life. they’re like, solely reactionary beings, the true wobbuffets of real life.
ESFP: that crazy bitch whose super weird but everybody likes because theyre just weird enough to be likable but never hangs out with you consistently because theyre too involved with theatre or ecstasy or some shit idk
ISFP: that sarcastic bitch whose somehow still obsessed with fandoms and superwholock and probably owns a horse back home or something
ENFJ: that starry eyed bitch who loves everybody and wants to save the world or some shit, idk, my eyes glazed over a quarter way through your monologue; besides, it all just pans out to you feeling bad about yourself because you can’t live up to the impossible standards you set for yourself anyways so am i really missing anything???
INFJ: that passive aggressive bitch whos always gotta remind you that they’re the most rare mbti type, and act all ethereal and distant and shit when we all know ur a dime a dozen on a college campus anyways
ENFP: that emotionally dead bitch who convinces everybody that theyre not because theyre so enthusiastic and tells you their whole life story the first time you meet them to cause shock and awe but also to get you lowkey emotionally attached
INFP: that sensitive bitch who wants to be a writer or an artist or something but is too obsessed with memes to get very far
ESTJ: that polysci bitch who runs for class president when everybody knows damn well you don’t do any real anything on campus and the dean regards you with as much contempt as i do
ISTJ: that awkward bitch who knows they’re not that fun so they try really hard to put themselves out there and just makes it awkward and weird for the whole party
ESTP: that loud bitch who gotta be the center of attention all the time and everybody likes for some reason
ISTP: that angry bitch whose a wannabe sociopath and always telling you how much they hate people and want to murder people for, like, literally no reason like calm down edgelord tom.
ENTJ: that problematic bitch who starts shit right at the end of class because success and proving that they know shit is the only thing that makes them feel anything anymore
INTJ: that condescending sarcastic ass bitch that rolls their eyes whenever somebody raises their hand and is probably one dumb question away from bringing a gun to school
ENTP: that annoying bitch who starts arguments in class with everybody because they think its fun or wanna prove they know useless knowledge or logic or some shit idk stanley and idc just stop arguing with the professor its psych 101 and i want to go home
INTP: that quiet bitch who spends the whole party looking around in the corner and asking their friend if they can leave yet and only talks during class to explain something semi useless and tangental to the topic at hand
im literally so sour at how accurate this is
fuck this post too
@discoursegrips
me: has some wine and makes a joke post about some annoying stereotypes
you: says “op is an awful person” in the tags literally in the same sentence that you said i was being unnecessarily negative, completely unironically.
this isn't a meme, so I still believe I'll publish many books in my life
“I just tried to go on my first run post-wedding. I wanted to make it three miles but I couldn’t do it. Toward the end I tried switching my soundtrack from techno to gospel, but I still had to stop. Too much eating during the honeymoon. You should have seen me on the wedding day, though. All that hard work paid off. That tux fit like lotion.”
I always wanted to smoke a pipe regularly (once or twice a week) like Gandalf or Sherlock Holmes... but damn it, it's easier to get guns here than find a nice place to smoke.
PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI O cachorro rebaixado mais famoso da face da internet não tem as pernas curtinhas – só – por capricho humano. A verdade é que a baixa estatura do Corgi é vital para o seu trabalho como cão pastor, já que lá embaixo é bem difícil de ser acertado pelos coices ferozes dos bovinos!
Não se engane pela cara fofinha e o rabinho peludo! Os Corgis são exímios trabalhadores :D
#semracadefinida #inktober2017 #inktober -ish #comics #corgi
Look at all these friends!