Into the night (with me) - a kurtbastian fan fiction (UPDATE! 12/')
To get in the mood while reading the first slice: Yann Tersen, L'après-midi (recommended to listen as you begin reading)
If you were wondering, the second song is Maybe, by Yiruma.
Beautiful, warm notes awoke Kurt. It was the sound of a piano played somewhere far, somewhere close. Music overwhelmed him in an enchanted spell.
Where was he? Wrapped in a blanket he didn't remember putting on.
Where was he? Wrapped in a warmth he found overwhelmingly safe.
Where was he? Wrapped in a scent now easy to recognize.
Where was he? In a place too familiar for him to feel unease.
He opened his eyes and let out deep breaths.
The music kept playing. Its beauty was overwhelming.
He smiled and slowly got up, the melancholic melody guided his steps.
It didn't took him long to find him.
He leant on the door side and closed his eyes, music sinking in.
"Don't stop", he pleaded.
He received a warm smile in return.
Music filled the air again. The melody was softer, sweeter this time. He closed his eyes, music filling him again.
How much did it last? He felt he could have listened to Sebastian play forever.
"You could sit, it would be much more comfortable, you know?"
"Mmm", he managed to reply. His mind still lost in sleep and wonderland. He felt a warm hand take ahold of his
"Morning", he opened his eyes. He found a pair of green amethysts to meet his.
"You should never stop playing. You're amazing", he let out still too unconscious to actually filter his thoughts.
"Thanks babe". That 'babe' shook him from the numbness. The pang in his neck sharply bringing him to wakefulness. He hissed.
"You okay?", a worried voice asked him
"mmm", he caressed his own neck. A warm hand gripped his. (Did it ever left it?)
"You could have woken me up"
"I know", he opened his eyes (when did he close it?)
"Does it hurt?"
"No". He was lead towards the couch.
"Come here", he was ordered as he sat. "Closer". He felt the pressure of two warm hands on his neck and on his back. It hurt.
"It's gonna get better. I've got you", he was reassured.
"Okay", he let out. It was getting better.
"You should have woken me"
"I know" (Did it say it?)
"Guuuysss! Today is the day!", Willa thrilled voice filled the room. Sebastian and Kurt, both hanging on the stools of the kitchen counter, jumped.
"Geez! It's early in the morning you can't be that loud"
"It's not"
"It's not past noon, and it's Sunday". He snorted. She ignored his bothered comment and
"Did you sleep well?", she asked both, but actually meaning that question for Kurt –by the look she was giving him.
"Except for his dead body on mine and his snores? Yeah, great!", Kurt joked.
"I don't snore", came Seb's quick reply.
Sebastian gently pushed his shoulder with his hand. Kurt and Sebastian exchanged looks. And smiled knowingly.
"But waking up to piano music did compensate for all of that", Kurt went on playfully.
He vaguely remembered following the music towards the hall and finding Sebastian playing; but he couldn't tell if that was a dream or not. He had also flashes of Sebastian soothing his nerves with his warm hands… Yeah, that must have definitely been a dream, he said to himself.
"Did you hear back from the catering guy?", Sebastian changed the topic
"The guy of the catering"
"Yeah?!", he replied annoyed
"A She-male, perhaps". Willa chuckled, "No I haven't. Have you?'
"Damned it", he stood and took his phone out the pocket "I'm so gonna hit that guy in the face"
"Come on, he's gonna show up, relax"
"I'm not worried he won't show up. I'm worried he won't show up with what I asked for!", he said putting his phone on the hear
"Lowland Catering?", he turned his attention to the phone
"Patrice is this you?". Pause
"Ok Listen…". He moved outside the room to engage in an animated conversation with Patrice.
"So, how have you been?", Willa took advantage of that time they were alone. He loved those moments. It felt like having a sister.
"Well, I can't complain". She kept looking at him. Damned those eyes. He felt scrutinized.
"I mean it, I really can't… I've been doing great"
"What about Otis College?"
"Oh that". She pushed the right button.
"Well…", he stopped. Where was he going to start?
"I don't know, I've been thinking about it lately, but I don't know… I mean I'm in NY, I'm in NYADA, I've already gone through freshmen year…I don't want to give up on that"
"But have you covered the cost of it?"
"I did the impossible to get into that school"
"But have you covered the cost of giving up to your passion?"
"This school is my dream"
"I don't know I'm really confused about what I want lately", he admitted uncomfortable.
"But if you were given a fresh start, if you could have the chance to go back in time, would NYADA still be your choice?"
"I… I don't know", he admitted honestly
"You got your answer then"
"It' not that easy, I mean… it's like I'll be giving up a part of me each way".
"You have to figure out if resigning NYADA means resigning your dreams for the rest of your life". Kurt himself couldn't have expressed it better.
"Everything will click into place eventually"
"Trust your guts sounds too cliché?", she lighted the tone
"A little… but they're so twisted right now that probably won't help much"
He felt the pressure of two warm hands on his neck and on his back. It hurt.
'It's gonna get better. I've got you', a warm voice reassured him.
"You okay?", Sebastian voice shook him from torpor.
"You looked kind of lost"
"No I'm fine I'm fine Just… never mind". Sebastian didn't look convinced but let it go
"SO?", Willa asked impatiently
"She is", Willa interrupted him
"Whatever it is, it's coming over in two hours time"
"Of course! That idiot was all like yeah sure no problem yeah later today yeah no I did not forget yeah I am busy cleaning my boyfriend's ass yeah"
"Seb", Willa scolded him playfully. Kurt chuckled.
"So the band is coming at 2, the catering in a short time… the set up is set up… I guess this is it!", Sebastian let out cheerfully.
"I have a billion dollars question, though… What about the alcohol?"
"That had already been taken care of. But needs to be located somewhere… Oh and your stupid lanterns need to be lighted"
"Well we can just put all the alcohol on the wooden table, you put it outside yesterday, didn't you?", Seb and Kurt nodded. Kurt remembered too well how heavy that damned thing was, and how much it hurt when he closed his toes under its leafs as they put it down!
"Well, we put it there and when Simone comes he'll think about it"
"When is he coming by the way?". Willa looked at her watch "Shortly"
"You do realize one bartender is not enough?"
"Of course I do, little brother, that's why I hired a few of his friends too", she stated proudly. Seb smiled.
"Sounds good I'm not the one in charge of everything, for a change!"
"Oh shut up!", she pushed him gently
Organizing a party was a lot of work. Especially if said party was meant to be epic. That's what Kurt learnt. By the time it stopped getting worried about setting up final details, and actually having fun because of such details, Kurt was already tired. But it didn't matter that much because he was having a great time getting together with Seb and Willa and their friends and cousins and everyone else. The place was tremendously crowded. But it looked spectacular, all that hard work putting oil candles here and there and then lighting them up… was really worth it. The view of the majestic house, with its gardens and its pools, deep immersed in nature, the woods the lake… all dark except for oil lanterns lighting up the way… that was breathtaking.
Also, Sebastian was breathtaking. But he might have drunk too much wine to acknowledge the meaning of his own words. Or to even care to filter them. He just knew that looking at him across the dance floor, all smiles and laughs as he talked to his cousin Brayden, the dim light sharpening his features, all wrapped by a white shirt and some obviously sandy trousers… he was breathtaking.
"Hi…", Kurt said unsure to the *super hot* guy in front of him. "Have I met you?", Kurt asked. Damned if he was hot.
"I'm Ty", he introduced himself, his blue eyes sparkling in the dark.
"Kurt", he replied shaking the hand he had offered.
"Now we met", he shook his head lightly to get rid of a dark, curly lock that bothered him.
The wine and the loud music were giving him a really hard time to focus.
"Wanna go for a dance?", Ty asked. He didn't even wait for Kurt's reply as he grabbed him by the wrist to lead him in the middle of the dance floor.
Allor on danse pour oublier pour le problèmes, Stromae was singing. Kurt wished it was true.
The danced through the song, and even tough Kurt was enjoying dancing, he wasn't enjoying dancing with Ty. Hot stud Ty. He glanced over the pool to spot Sebastian, but could not see him.
He must have looked upset, or disappointed, because Ty shouted him:
"Sure", he replied quickly, shouting too. The music was too loud.
"I'm no baller but people usually have fun", he claimed hinting at Kurt's frown
"Sorry to disappoint, I'm not people"
"Sure you're not", he came closer "You're interesting. I like you", he admitted. Kurt gulped at the words and their proximity. Hot stud Ty liked him. He found him interesting even. Still, something didn't feel quite right. He just couldn't figure out what.
"Wanna go up to the clearing?", he asked to Kurt's ear
"The clearing", he pointed at it, "It's almost midnight, we're going to make Chinese lanterns fly soon"
"Oh sure!", Kurt exclaimed referring to the lanterns, how could he forget! They spent half an hour placing them on small, lantern-shaped boxes, so that people could pick them up from there. Who knew if there was one left, though. Probably not. Damned it, he should have remembered earlier!
In the meanwhile, Ty must have gotten Kurt's words the other way, since he started pulling him from the arm outside the crowded dance floor. Kurt let him 'till he understood he got it wrong
"Oh I, I didn't mean… I mean I meant sure but I didn't mean sure", the alcohol in his blood was giving him a hard time articulating his thoughts properly.
"What are you trying to say?", Ty asked, half diverted half bothered by his rambling
"He's trying to say he's not interested", a snarky voice Kurt knew too well spoke from behind.
"Tyler", he said while sneaking an arm around Kurt's shoulders.
"Ollie was looking for you earlier", Sebastian said.
"Did he say why?", Ty looked concerned.
"He did, but I can't remember right now. It seemed important though"
"He need to give me... never mind. Do you know where I can find him?"
Seb shook his head "Try by the bar", he sneered. Ty nodded. Kurt could tell Tyler felt torn between staying or looking for Ollie. In the end he opted for the latter since excused himself, but not before launching Kurt one long, last meaningful look –meaningful of what, he didn't know. But it looked meaning full. His mind was too nebulous right then.
As he left, Sebastian kept looking at him. To overly drunk Kurt, his stare was easy to decipher, though. Determined and challenging, with a tip arrogance. Kurt found that stare sexy –yeah he just thought that and he didn't care.
As the realization hot stud Ty was actually leaving, and Kurt was staying, sunk in, he squirmed from Sebastian's grip to face him
"You do realize you blew my chances with hot stud Tyler?". –He remembered using those very words, but they might have been different in truth.
"The only thing that could have been blown was his dick, believe me"
"What did you just say?", Kurt found it difficult to actually understand
"I'm making you save your time. He's a slut", he explained casually.
"And you're not", it escaped him. Sebastian's eyes flashed with hurt
"I'm not a cheap fuck, if that's what you meant". He looked upset and that made Kurt regret his words.
"I meant that but I don't mean it", he managed to apologize. Sebastian's features softened at the attempt
"I know". Sebastian had drunk nearly as much as Kurt, if not more, but he wasn't as spaced out as Kurt, he had to admit.
"I mean it… not that I just mean it that I don't mean it". Sebastian looked confused. But not mad, at least.
"You're way too drunk to have a conversation"
"Let's go get a glass of water, okay?". He didn't wait for an answer and lead him from the shoulders towards the inner kitchen. It was becoming a habit of people leading him without actually listening to what he wanted to do
"I don't want some water", he stopped.
"You're the whiny kind of drunk, have someone ever told you that?", Sebastian retorted "What do you want, then?"
Kurt pondered it. He had been so confused about what he wanted lately, but for once he knew.
"I want you", he stated cutting distances "to bring me up to see the lanterns fly". Sebastian didn't reply instantly. His eyes locked with Kurt's and that was unsettling. He felt at loss of words and of air.
"Okay", Seb said at last "follow me", he asked. He led him inside, grabbed a backpack lying on the corner of the living room and then headed outside. During all this time, Sebastian's hand never left his. Kurt didn't give too much thought about it. It just seemed right.
As they silently headed towards the clearing, hands still clenched, in the silence of the dark night, the whole 'slut slip' and 'hot stud Ty affair' seemed to belong to a different time. It was then that Kurt remembered
"I have no idea. Why?", he asked genuinely. Kurt shook his head
"You know why". Seb smirked as he got it.
"He's probably still looking for him", he chuckled softly. He must have been mad at his so-called friend. But he wasn't.
"Shouldn't we stop here?", Kurt asked pointing at crowd of people gathered on the clearing. Sebastian snapped his tongue and then smiled sweetly.
"Just follow me", he winked and led him up the woods. It was dark except for the oil candles that, cupped in tiny lanterns, lighted the way. And the full moon of course. What a beautiful sight, nature.
He didn't remember putting them all the way up the clearing, but he was glad someone did.
"Are you sure there are no bears, wolves, serial killers?", he asked coming closer to Seb as he stumbled on a tree root.
"Of course not. We own it. And there are security guards that keep us safe. Nothing to worry."
"Are there?", he asked curious
"My father is a State's attorney and my mum's an anti-terror judge. You do the Maths".
He processed the information and rehearsed the question before actually speaking:
"Isn't it scary? I mean, don't you fear someone may hurt you?"
"My grand-mère was an anti-terror judge too. They're keeping us safe. It comes with some risks, but we've always been fine after all". Kurt nodded. He went on:
"I don't feel threatened if that's what you meant. I feel safe knowing they do what they do. Does that sound you right?"
They had finally stopped. They had reached a greater clearing that gave them a flabbergasting view of the reservoir and, far away, the city's skyline.
"Wow", was what Kurt could only say. He had sobered up a little, but still wasn't in the comfort zone to articulate more complex syntactical structures.
"Yeah... I knew you'd like it", he admitted softly, and lost no time guiding him quickly towards the centre of clearing, which overhung the reservoir; They followed a path lighted by oil candles placed in small lanterns. Kurt didn't know what to say, or feel, or do. All he was seeing, feeling and doing was overwhelming.
In the meanwhile they had stopped, and Seb had taken out a blanked from his backpack and put it on the grass. He took out a bottle of Strawberry Hills, too. He sat and grabbed Kurt's hand to pull him down next to him. He handed him a plastic glass and poured them some wine.
"To us", Kurt repeated. To us.
"You know", Seb said after a while "If I weren't on the science side I would have become a judge"
"Yep", he sipped "Just like my grand-mère. I would have liked to follow her footprints"
"You could, if you want to"
"You could be a plumber, if you want to"
"That's not the same thing", Kurt pointed out
"It exactly is", Seb sipped again. "I was born to that. The same as you were born to be a stylist and Willa to be a lawyer". Kurt wanted to argue about that, but didn't. – He actually couldn't, but would not admit that.
"I did not have a choice about it, because if I did I would have followed a different path"
"Well it's not a bad basket to choose from… you get to save lives either way"
"This is who I am. I can't change that. And yes I get to save lives, but my grand-mère was right: being a physician is both a blessing, and a course". Kurt looked puzzled
"I get why a blessing, but not why a course"
"Pour les mêmes raisons, Kurt. For the same reasons"
"It's not like NYADA and Otis, Kurt. It's like you or nothing"
"You don't understand", he cut him "I couldn't do anything but this in my life. This is who I am, what I'm good at"
"You make it sound as if we can't choose our own destiny. But we can"
"We are on set tracks, Kurt. You can only decide where to turn. You only think you have much of a choice, but in truth you don't"
"I think I have. I believe we are the are the makers of our own fate"
"Faber est suae quisque fortunae. You're giving Appius Caecus to me now?". Kurt kept looking puzzled. And surprised. Sebastian just quoted him a latin guy in latin. Or maybe he was too drunk to get it and he actually said something else. Sebastian's gaze was lost in the night sky. "The fault is not in our stars, but in us that lie underneath" he went on, looking at Kurt this time "I don't think so"
"Was that TFIOS?", Kurt mocked him. Sebastian looked at him badly "Shakespeare". Kurt rolled his eyes
"You think Shakespeare was wrong?"
"Why?", he genuinely wanted to know that.
"Because we don't have as much control in our lives as we'd like to; We pretend we have, but we don't". Both remained silent for a while.
"You're the philosophical kind of drunk, did someone ever tell you that?". Kurt stated at last, quoting his earlier words. Sebastian's face lighted
"He left me with a broken heart that can't be fixed". That was raw, blunt and honest. And he had definitely been drunk to share that thought with Kurt. He, on the other side, was drunk enough to felt the need to close the gap between their bodies and curl up to him.
"I've got you", he told him. Sebastian planted a sweet kiss on his head. The night was chilly, not that cold, but having a warm body to lean in was comfortable enough to make Kurt body and mind relax.
After a while: "Look!", Kurt pointed at the sky. Some Chinese lanterns were already floating in the air. It was beautiful to see
"I just wish I saved one". Sebastian shifted:
"Man of little faith", he was smiling.
"What?". Instead of replying, he reached for his backpack to take out a lantern
"Of course I did", he said matter-of-factly. He gave it to Kurt. "Come on! get up!", he hurried to stand and offered his hand to Kurt, to help him stand too.
He then held it as he lead them towards the overhang.
"Seb?", he asked worried as they reached the edge. They were too drunk to be so close to it.
"I've got you", he held him from behind and helped him light it up from behind. Trusting him, Kurt focused on the lantern in his hand. After a while and a few imprecations, he let out an exasperated sigh:
"I though it was going to be easier"
"What is, really?". Kurt let go of his comment and focused on putting up the candle without making it burn. In the end he managed to complete the task, and was ready to let it go when Seb stopped him
"Make a wish", he whispered to his ear. Kurt shivered and nodded. Then let it go.
"But I think I'll appreciate it more if we headed back where we were before". He felt Sebastian smile in the crock of his neck.
"Sure". He entangled them, but not their hands, and headed back to the blanket. As they sat, Sebastian found his place behind Kurt, and held him steadily from behind.
That moment was blissful. The wine, the candles, the clearing, the Chinese lanterns all the way up to the sky… them.
"You're beautiful", Sebastian let out. Kurt turned to meet his gaze "What did you wish?", he asked suddenly. Kurt was too numb to reply: one can't ask for it. So, he opted for the truth, hoping his sober self wouldn't regret it later:
"I wished someone could fix your broken heart". Sebastian kept his amethyst gaze steady on him
Those five words were all it took to make them plunge into a sweet, urging, unsteady, needy kiss.
It didn't matter who leant in first or who pushed their body downwards the blanket.
It just mattered they got each other.
Title: I've got you- Frank Sinatra
Tyler 'Ty', is played by Riccardo Scamarcio (:You can see why hot stud really fits him:)
Sorry for the long wait! Hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing this piece. It was difficult, but in the end I made it! Something is finally moving on! What's gonna happen next?
Stay tuned and kurtbastian on :)
