blowback.

@brcnners-blog

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132 posts

Posts

✧ ❛ THOMASIN ;

Thomasin wonders if it always feels like this. If every kiss, shared with just anyone, forces the same reaction that the ones between her & Lauren do. She’s anxious, though she decides that it’s a good thing; emotions swirling through a petite figure ones she enjoyed. The request tugs at the corner of full lips, and she lets her gaze drop. Her touch, however, remains on the younger– not quite ready to let go. ❛ Yeah, I’d like that. ❜

nerves had been a complete stranger to lauren brenner for as long as she could remember, though she could feel her heart begin to beat a little faster upon noting the older’s reaction to her invitation. there wasn’t any hesitation behind movement as they walked back to the younger’s dorm, her hand hovering over the small of thomasin’s back until they’d reached the door. it wasn’t until the two were completely inside did their lips meet again, lauren’s hand finally making contact with the other.

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

✧ ❛ THOMASIN ;

Thomasin thought of a future where she hadn’t held off for so long; where emotions had been processed sooner, where the game they’d been playing came to an end within the span of last year. Though she doesn’t feel the need to dwell on the past. Rather, her attention is given to the taste of Lauren Brenner, and her warmth against her own skin. Hands seek out the curve of her waistline, clinging to the material of her clothing; lips curling against Lauren’s.

plum lips remained against the other’s as if only for a moment, just long enough to gather their taste before losing it once more. even though their lips parted, lauren’s hand remained on thomasin’s cheek, thumb brushing the soft skin there. “ do you want to come over? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin #idc theyre not at her dorm

✧ ❛ AKIVA ;

❛ French allowed. One will need it with some of the patrons and staff —- Akiva. Show up tomorrow an hour before we open, cleaning supplies are under the bathroom sink. Come in the back and you won’t need a key. But if that information gets out — you’re fired, paying for all damages, and banned from the pub in the future. UNDERSTOOD? ❜

“ yeah, no, i got ya 100%. my lips are SEALED –– ‘sides, who would i tell? thank you so much for the job, akiva, promise i won’t let you down! ” there was a small pause as lauren debated whether or not to leave unasked, though because of her lack of better judgement, she asked anyway. “ i’m assuming we’ll talk about PAY tomorrow, then? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#akivcs

gay it up

Moments ago, she’d insisted there was nothing. Nothing between them that caused rhythmic beating to change its velocity: furiously pounding against a frail chest. Thomasin let arms drop to her sides, dark tones watching the other move closer. ❛ Yeah. ❜ There was more confidence in her voice this time, though the familiar shakiness remained prominent.

tan hand moved upward to the warm skin of thomasin’s cheek, the gap between the two finally closing as their lips met. kissing the other again was something, while she would never admit to, lauren thought about a lot. perhaps it was the ‘ will they or won’t they? ’ aspect that turned the younger on more, though regardless of reason, this kiss was long awaited.

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

the gay agenda

It wasn’t the question she’d expected, but it was difficult to mind; Thomasin far from preparing herself to issue a complaint. Maybe it COULD be easy. Maybe each complication had been her fault in its entirety. Scratch that, she knew it had been. But perhaps they were avoidable, and perhaps there was more to the brunette than just prejudice learnt. She pulls at the sleeves of an oversized cardigan, finally wrapping arms around a petite frame. ❛ Maybe, ❜ She announced, rather awkwardly: the phrase having had come off much smoother inside her head. ❛ If you want to. ❜

lauren took a small step forward to decrease the amount of space between the two, arms gradually returning to her sides. dark brown hues scanned thomasin’s features before finding her lips, gaze focusing there before her mouth caught up with her mind. “ can i do it now? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin #i had to shorten this gif but still #pretend shes not THAT close

i’m gay but i’m not 2nd half

It was torture. For near a year, she’d desired Lauren Brenner more than she had the freedom from her parents. And yet, somehow, old beliefs managed to stand in the way once more. No matter what she did, no matter what she wanted, Bathsheba Wuornos clawed her way into Thomasin’s mind. But not anymore, she wouldn’t allow it. Prisoner for fourteen years & then some? That was no life to lead. And it was not one she wanted for herself. ❛ It does … ❜ Her voice is quiet. ❛ Because I like you, too. As friends, and … not. ❜

weight shifting from one leg to the next, her discomfort and confusion on what to next shining through as both arms crossed over her chest. “ does that mean i’ll get to kiss you again? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

#firemarty1992

❛ He generates money from the younger crowd. Some of the less common teenage patrons think the other bartenders won’t serve them — better to keep the exclusivity than fire a man with the emotional range of a toenail clipping. It would do us some good to have a less … 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 presence around. ——- You’d start off cleaning too. BEGINNER’S LUCK. Kid I have now doesn’t know how to scrub a toilet. ❜

“ as someone who owned a number of fake i.d.’s in my day, i have no room for stopping the homecoming brigade from getting their drink on. cleaning? yeah – no problem. it’s not something i’ve necessarily had a lot of experience in, but i’m a fast learner and mama didn’t raise no bitch –– – pardon my french ... ma’am? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#akivcs

thomasin !

To explain Thomasin’s thoughts on the subject would have the most bizarre difficulty. How hard could it be to know your own preferences & emotions ? Perhaps years of neglect & religious based abuse had forced the older into psychological instability. Or maybe, this is just who she’d always been. But the self-hatred and the fluctuating need to keep away from the other ? Entirely based on her childhood and the words of God. But she didn’t trust him, anymore, did she ? ❛ I don’t know ? I’ve never … You’re kind of the first— ❜ She pauses, letting silence wash over them: allowing the thumping of her heart to fill her head. That, and the words of Lauren Brenner. ❛ You do ? ❜

lauren missed the times of pulling the other’s hair, snide comments rolling off her tongue in attempts to agitate thomasin; however, these memories were now infiltrated with a warm feeling every time she recalled them. this frequently being the case after their intimate encounter, though it is something the younger spent a considerable amount of effort attempting to shake off due to the older’s persistent denial. it was much harder to quell now as she verbalized these feelings, somehow making them more real. “ so what? you’re not gay, doesn’t fucking matter anyways. ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

thomasin !

Thomasin wasn’t certain where she’d expected the conversation to go, but this direction hadn’t even been taken into consideration. Brows furrow, and expression indicates her current mindset: stunned. ❛ I’m not … I’m not stringing you along ! ❜ She began, not quite sure why she felt such a need to defend herself – but, too, switch the blame. ❛ I– I like you. But … I’m not gay. ❜ The last sentence lowers her voice, forcing an awkward chuckle to escape in the process.

eyes roll at the hushed tone of the other’s final comment, tongue running over full lips. there was a lightness in lauren’s stomach solely from the confirmation of thomasin’s feelings, though frustration was still present. it was more confusion than anything else, though more often than not, confusion turned into anger. “ so what – are you bi or something? or do you ... only like me as a friend? ‘cause fuck, toms, i really dig you. ” the words were nearly caught in her throat as the verbalization of feelings tasted bitter on her tongue.

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

thomasin !

𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑵 𝑬𝑿𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑬𝑺. Rejection wasn’t a fear of hers, at least, it hadn’t been for the past couple of years. High school had put her through enough for the brunette to no longer seek it out. Acceptance, that is. She was a self-proclaimed social reject & that’s the way she’d like it. Reclusion enforced by no one but herself. But lately, she’d craved the connection that came with friendships. And something else. It hadn’t just been interest in the younger. One that had existed for little over a year. No, it’d morphed into something resembling genuine affection. That’s what she believed. Not that she could confirm suspicions. It was her first ANYTHING with another girl. With anyone, really. Gaze drops, lips forming an inaudible ‘ o. ’ ❛ I thought I was the–– never mind. You gonna tell me why, or should I just … leave you to do WHATEVER ? ❜

using both hands, the younger pushed dark locks behind her ears in visible frustration. in all her twenty-one years, you would think she had learned better than to catch feelings; especially when it had just felt like a never ending game of cat and mouse. “ what the fuck do you want from me, thomasin? you act like you can’t stand me ninety-nine percent of the time & then you come around acting like we’re all chummy – this light and dark shit is getting old. why don’t you tell me why? why are you stringing me along? ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

thomasin !

𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵❜𝑻 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺. She wasn’t familiar with social interactions, and relationships even less so. And even as Thomasin went out of her way to avoid both, usually, she didn’t feel the urge at the moment. Rather she craved attention from the other, any form – but instead she was given a cold shoulder, throwing her off completely. ❛ Oh, I get it ! ❜ She began, making an attempt to break the tension. ❛ Halloween season … People usually are afraid I’ll hex ‘em. Don’t worry, though. You’re safe. For now. ❜

lauren didn’t like being toyed with, regardless if it was intentional or not. the only consistency in her relationship with thomasin was its inconsistency and given how much she had on her mind as school started up again, the last thing she needed were the knots forming in her stomach every time the other pushed into her thoughts. the hot and cold irked the younger to no extent and this frustration was evident in her vitriolic tone. “ was i not clear when i said i had nothing to say to you, thomasin? i don’t give a shit about your ... witchy halloween antics. ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin #run-on sentences ?#that's my ish #lauren stop being MEAN

starter for @akivcs !

“ previous job experience? well, i don’t ... really ... have any, but i’m very familiar with most mixed drinks and know how to pour beer from a tap like it’s second nature. plus, i’m easy to talk to! i mean, more so when it comes to female clientele, but this place could do better than the gray borderline-pedo raisin you have serving drinks now. no offense. ”

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#akivcs #lauren boutta put marty out of a job

thomasin !

Thomasin lets out a shaky laugh; one made of disbelief & speechlessness. She’d never been one to seek out the other, and now that she had –– she was being pushed aside before words could even be spoken. It was unexpected, at best. Hurtful, at most. ❛ Have I DONE something to you ? ❜

lauren knew it was a long shot to expect anything but negation from thomasin and after having been met with this one too many times, the girl had grown tired. there wasn’t much else to talk about, she thought, and entertaining the idea of a conversation regarding anything other than what happened between them when it sat so heavy on her chest seemed pointless. tan hands never broke the rhythm of movement and dark hues remained lowered at the task rather than the other, “ of course not, you haven’t done anything to me. “ the words were more harsh than originally intended as they rolled off of rum raisin lips, though she had little room for regret.

#° ✧ ｡ creating 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 out of 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ( ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ )#thomvsin

starter for @thomvsin !