Depression is exhausting. My head is a war zone of thoughts. It makes you feel alone in a room of people that care. It's not feeling lonely that makes me want to give up and never get out of bed though, It's the moments when I should be overjoyed and all I can feel is anger welling up instead. The moments I should be blissful and all I can do is cry a river of sad tears. It's trying so hard to live in every moment and enjoy every second, and not being able to. In the few moments I can feel happy it's magical. It's WONDERFUL. It's like I just witnessed magic right in front of me, awestruck blinding light fills my soul. But then the darkness comes again and everything seems a little darker for a while. It's like being in a black and white room while everything outside is vibrant colors. I fight every day for the energy and will To get out of bed. To brush my teeth To shower To put on clean clothes To go outside To smile To talk to people To clean my house These are things that most people can easily do. These are things you can look at me and assume I'm lazy for "avoiding" But this thing I'm fighting inside myself is much bigger than your judgement on who you think I am. Sometimes I may lose the battle, whether it be my messy house, my sleeping habits, or any of the other things I can't find the energy for some days. None of that matters, as long as I live to win the war.
andulkaphoto
gummygunk
stormborns
amandla
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
gracieabrams
