Okay, so that definitely was not false labour.
I pulled on a t-shirt and yoga pants to pick my groceries up - not a long walk, but enough of one when you’re waddling as much as I am. I didn’t even bother with a binder or a sports bra (I’ve outgrown all of them).
I was holding my belly as I walked, and every time one of those waves of cramps hit I could feel it… harden. I could physically feel it, well, contract. I’d already gotten myself off in bed and I figured maybe my orgasm just intensified the Braxton-Hicks, but that was until my muscles contracted so hard that I had to double over in the middle of the street, brace myself against a building, squeeze my eyes shut…
But then it went away! And I felt electrified again, wet and horny. I clearly needed to get these groceries and get myself home immediately for a little more time in bed.
The store was so cold that my nipples hardened the minute I walked in, poking out behind the fabric of my shirt, driving me crazy brushing against it. I could feel another wave building inside me and I knew I needed to get over to a shelf I could brace myself against, or something. But I’d just entered the store. I so whimpered my way through it, holding onto my swollen stomach. I became hyper-conscious of how I must look, a heavily pregnant boy clearly suffering through what I was suddenly sure was the beginning of my labour.
I felt so exposed all of a sudden, my leaky nipples on display, my belly tightening under my shirt. I hadn’t even managed to get underwear on, I was naked under my yoga pants, my boycunt getting wetter with each contraction.
I found some privacy in an empty aisle before the next wave crested… I had the sudden, animalistic urge to squat down when the contraction hit. I pretended to be looking at something on a bottom shelve as I spread my legs and lowered myself into a squat, my belly sitting heavy on my thighs, my heart pounding.
That’s when my waters broke. A gush of fluid, soaking my pants, dripping down onto the floor in an embarrassing stream that I couldn’t stop… A couple turned into the aisle and immediately went red in the face when they saw me, dishevelled and dripping and looking like I was about to push this baby out in the cereal aisle. My face was pounding as I pulled myself up, trying to ignore the obvious wetness between my legs, waddling as fast as I could out of the store without buying anything. Fuck…
I’m home now - clearly this is it. Time to make some calls and start the plan 😣😣😣