I’m blaming @breedtheseed for this one.
Angel Dust was trying to hammer a couple of boards together for Charlie’s newest game when he swung the hammer and came down on his thumb. “BY ADAM’S SWEET TITTY MILK! Hmmmm. Oh freak on a stick this Sunday and twice with a priest!”
Adam stopped sawing to stare confusedly at Angel Dust. “What the fuck did you just say?”
Angel nursed his poor thumb. “Eh?”
“Oh. Yeah. Charlie’s got a swear jar now and I can’t afford both crack and swearing so I had to give one up.”
“That’s not-“ Adam put down the saw and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Okay. First of all. Give up the crack! Between crack and swearing, give up the crack. Second of all, I meant, why the fuck did you say ‘By Adam’s Sweet Titty Milk’?”
Angel hummed and hawed before answering. “It’s kind of a running joke we have now. Lucifer tripped over KeeKee down a flight of stairs a few weeks ago. I got it on camera, don’t worry, I’ll show you later. And as he fell he yelled, ‘By Adam’s Sweet Titty Milk’! And we’ve been kinda just saying it. Behind your back. As a laugh. But apparently it’s just part of my vocabulary now.”
“I fucking let him suck on my tits one fucking time!” Adam kicked the saw horse and the project he was working on crashed to the ground. He didn’t notice and continued to rant. “Once! I fucking produce breast milk once! And he won’t shut up about it.”
“Umm,” Charlie awkwardly interrupted, “okay, I’m just going to say you owe the swear jaw six quarters, Adam. And walk away and repress this memory.” She carefully put the jar down on the boards that now laid half on the floor. Then ran like she’d been set on fire.
Adam pulled out a dollar fifty and dropped it in the jar. He turned to Angel and asked, “how the fu-dge do you swear enough you can’t afford crack?”
“I fucking love to swear, okay? Apparently almost as much as Lucifer loves your titty milk. Dammit, I owe the jar a quarter.” He dug in his pants for a coin.
“Two. Dammit is a swear… fuck!”
Together they tossed in a dollar between them and vowed to stop talking.
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