Family Learning
My wife and I teach the primary children in our ward that are between the ages of 5 and 7. We really enjoy teaching these children the simple truths of the gospel and are surprised each week how much they know about the gospel. As teachers, we always like to believe that that means they actually pay attention in primary. This isn’t always the case, however.
Recently my wife and I were invited to dinner at one of our class member’s house because we have developed a friendship with their parents. Their daughter is one of the children that seems to know the most about the gospel. While at their house, we ate dinner and played a few games. The children had been sent to bed while we continued to visit and play games. In the middle of a game, the parents realized they did not read scriptures and say prayers. They called all of their kids back out of bed to read scriptures. As they read the scriptures, they would explain what was going on and ask the children what they were understanding. They even remembered the last thing they read about.
What I realized is that the parents provide the foundation of faith for their children. As primary teachers we simply provide supplemental weekly teaching. These children already have great light in them and that is because their parents are doing their job as presiding in the home. I want to discuss how teaching in the home can help children become more resilient to the attacks and temptations around us.
Here is an excerpt from a case study I have done in my religion course. “While raising a family, the parents are mostly in charge of providing the spiritual background for each child. This is done through family prayer, family scripture study, and the sharing of testimonies. Church activities can supplement the learning in the home, but the parents should take most of the responsibility. The primary song “The Family Is of God” teaches us the roles of mothers and fathers. Verse 2 says “A father’s place is to preside, provide, To love and teach the gospel to his children. A father leads in family prayer to share Their love for Father in Heaven.” And then Verse 3, “A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare, To nurture and to strengthen all her children. She teaches children to obey, to pray To love and serve in the family.” Although mothers and fathers have different responsibilities, they overlap a lot. Both parents are responsible to teach the children to pray and give the spiritual guidance in the family. Another way the parents provide leadership in the family is by showing their love to their children, not just telling them. They are able to do this by having wholesome family activities that allow the children to spend time with the parents even in busy lives. Elder Oaks teaches us that we shouldn’t settle for good activities when we can have a better or a best activity. He told a story of a family that took a series of family vacations where they visited many awesome places and the father asked the son when his favorite part was and his son told his father that it was the night they laid on the lawn looking at stars and talking. Through all of the activities, the son liked the most when he was able to spend time with his father and talk. This teaches me a valuable lesson that it isn’t necessarily what we do all the time, but sometimes it is more about who we are doing it with. The challenge in this case study is that the husband and wife are trying to raise their family righteously, and provide for their children, but are unsure of their exact roles in the home. It seems that the mother and father have different ideas of what is important right now. One reason Jenny feels negative about their family life is because she views Tyson as a passive preside in the home. She is comparing him to her father who was a great father and is wondering how he could be more like her father. Another reason she may feel negative is because she has to plan most of the family activities to spend time with the children. In the proclamation is reads, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical needs and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.” This bundles mothers and fathers together in the responsibilities in their home. Although one parent may be better at one aspect and the other at another, they can work together to accomplish the goals and guidance in this paragraph. Families strive to reach Zion in their homes. Moses 7:18 says “And the Lord called his people Zion because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness.” This applies to husbands and wives as they strive to be of one heart and one mind working together to be good parents. This will allow them to live more righteously and be happier. Marriage is sometimes related to a body, how there can be multiple parts to one body. They work together to accomplish the same goal. 1 Corinthians 12:21 reads, “the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of you.” This means that even if, like in the case of Jenny and Tyson, the wife thinks she does everything, in a true righteous marriage the husband and the wife cannot accomplish righteous families by themselves. From my learning, I would try hard to be a good husband and father and being good at presiding. When I was a kid, my father definitely presided over the home, but sometimes he needed prompting from my mom. There are certain things that only a father can do, and he must do them in order to build those relationships with his children. However, as the father and mother are one, the mother can help the father accomplish his tasks by prompting him to do something. Then the father has to put his whole heart into it.”
As parents teach their children, their children begin to grow in faith and develop their own testimonies which in turn leads to conversion. Elder Oaks gave a talk titled “the Challenge to Become.” In this talk He states, "We qualify for eternal life through a process of conversion." This conversion process starts with faith in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, then we must accept the sacrifice He made for us. As we do so, we change our lives to be in line with the will of the Father. Many people confuse this process with a belief that we are saved by our works. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we understand that "it is by grace we are saved, after all we can do." This means that grace is the only way we can return to our Father in Heaven, but grace also changes us. Under no circumstance am I able to work my way to Heaven, but if I change my life by accepting Christ, then the Atonement is able to work in my life and I can achieve eternal life. This is the process of conversion; that we change our lives based on the grace of God and the Atonement of Christ.
The conversion process states in the home, is supplemented at church, and practiced and developed in the evils of the world. I encourage all parents to begin this process so that they can raise righteous children with greater ease. The learning that takes place in the home provides light in our children that will make them resilient as well as to provide light to those around them.