A Novice Nose Notes Some Shit

A personal space away from influencers and PR packages for me to explain my own perfume journey. I might be helpful to yours, or I might not! I don't make the rules. Rambles and personal opinions ahead.

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Sooooo, I've been sampling stuff without posting about it. Very naughty! I really need to write down my thoughts more as I get them, or else I'll forget my impassioned first impressions over time. I've also learned that sometimes I will sample things and then the perfumer will not archive the notes in the perfume as soon as they stop selling it, sooooo... More reason I need to really write down my thoughts as soon as I smell something new.

At the very least, one perfumer I never have to worry about that with is Alkemia Perfumes! They have an extensive documented archive of all the profiles and scent notes of every perfume they've ever had, no matter how long they haven't had it available for sale.

During their summer sale, I was also very naughty and bought some roller balls at a discount... Some lovely lovely scents I had sampled and fallen in love with earlier in the year.

Today I decided to wear Elf King.

Notes as listed by the perfumer: "The beckoning of a forgotten woodland byway overgrown with elecampane, wild thyme, hawthorn flowers, bluebells, lichen, bracken fern, brooding oakmoss, soft leather, smokey vetiver, galbanum, and earthy patchouli."

Ooooooooh, it's just so damn nice. I know I usually like very literal perfume where I can smell notes and pick them out. But I'll be completely honest, I don't know what elecampane (???), hawthorn flowers, or galbanum smell like.

All I do know is this does make me feel like a little Elf King when I wear it. Like a cute little Minnish or something. It has me fluttering. I usually don't like smokey stuff and leathers, but I don't pick up on that in this at all. It's very forest-y and kinda sweet. I feel like moss and fairy sparkles.

[sceptixfakemon]

taste my steel you stupid citrus

[cloevr]

[garysinises]

Bought myself a bottle of what I’ve affectionately termed the “piss perfume” due to its fragrantica reviews. It rules and smells very sexy but not if you don’t like animalic scents. Regardless here are some things I think it smells like:

- being the most gorgeous woman at the lemur house

- meeting a beautiful woman at a dive bar, having sex with her in the bathroom, and then sharing a cigarette with her outside at 3 am

- a chic flower shop at 3 pm in the middle of a heat wave

- the smell of someone’s skin approximately 3 hours after you’ve all done too many tequila shots

- being licked head to toe in a mysterious older woman’s attic. Possibly by the older woman, or possibly not

Also the fact everyone on Fragrantica says it’s a fall scent is ridiculous, it smells better the more you sweat and is an ideal summer scent.

Below are some of my favorite recent reviews to help you understand that no one is normal about this scent:

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Here's some scent layering combinations I've been liking a lot recently, all using products from the same companies (all of which are pretty affordable if you get them on one of their frequent sales).

Piña Colada Swirl by Bath and Body Works, Banana Pudding by Sugar Milk Co, and Banane Délice by Le Monde Gourmand. PCS has notes of pineapple juice, coconut milk and amber musk. BP has notes of bananas, vanilla wafers, sugar and heavy cream. BD has notes of banana milk, pineapple, orange, coconut, sugar, heliotrope, tonka bean, whipped vanilla, and sugared musks. So wearing them aaaaaaall together smells like a summer day with a beautiful piña colada with fucking bananas. They all blend into each other so beautifully. BP smells a little artificial, like banana Laffy Taffy, but BD smells like real ripe bananas. I like them together as I love both interpretations of banana and I wanna smell like it all.

Be Enchanted by Bath and Body Works, Strawberry Soda by Sugar Milk Co, and Angel Soirée by Le Monde Gourmand. BE has notes of iced pomegranate, sugared petals, chilled passionfruit, whipped vanilla and light musk. Strawberry Soda might be discontinued, but I'm never quite sure with this brand? Regardless, it has notes of bubbly drink, sugary strawberries, raspberry, peach, and vanilla. And AS has notes of lychee, apricot, strawberry, marshmallow, rose milk, magnolia, violet, sandalwood, vanilla praline, and fluffy musks. This probably sounds like a crazy hodgepodge, but together, it really smells like a carnival of beautiful red fruits! It's so pomegranate and lychee forward, which makes me soooooooo happy. It's just so fruity and fun!

Now I will warn, I do genuinely looooove how the Le Monde Gourmand perfumes smell. They're fucking heavenly. The problem is their longevity is pretty ass. They last maybe 3 hours on skin, but generally more like just 2. That's abysmal, so even though they're cheap and smell really really good, I couldn't with a clean conscious recommend them without acknowledging that and giving a good warning!

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An aesthetic picture I took of my "bunny" layering combo set that I wore a LOT this spring. It's very playful and spring time vibes, even as someone who usually doesn't rigidly put scents into seasonal categories.

Body lotion: Carrot Charm by Bath and Bodyworks. Notes of carrot, nectarine, and sugared musk. If you want it right now, grab it as the Semi-Annual Sale means this baby is dirt cheap ($4 on my end as I type this) and it wasn't a popular scent so I doubt it'll come back.

Hand soap: Dandelion by Mrs. Meyer's. Smells like dandelions. I love this soap brand a lot. Leaves my hands really soft and so many of their scents are just amaaaaaazing.

Deodorant: Lavender Fresh by Dove. Smells like lavender and vanilla. Personally I don't actually approve of Dove all that much for their history, but they're currently the only brand that seems to help with my stanky testosterone armpits and they still have aluminum in their products in a market that wants to get rid of it so. I'm kinda stuck here. At least it smells nice?

Perfume: Honey Bunny by d.grayi. The notes are carrot, chrysanthemum tea, Holland Lop fluff, honey, osmanthus, hay, propolis, and beeswax. I love this perfume and brand a lot, they've got such unique and wonderful perfumes. This to me smells like dreams of my childhood rabbit. Her name was Einstein, we would call her Einie, a giant white and grey lop ear and she would snuggle if you got out her favorite blanket.

[c3rvida3]

I just learned that a lot of vintage perfumes and fragrances were intentionally created to blend well with the ever-present smell of cigarettes, and in specific a lot of iconic ones that are super musky and floral and civet-heavy were intended to compliment the smell of fur coats or even "refresh" that new fur coat smell, which is one of the reasons (besides just shifting preferences and trends) that a lot of them smell really, really bad to modern noses.

I bet there's some stunning genius diva out there right now who meticulously coordinates her Victoria's Secret body mists with her vape flavors.

[lemonsweet]

perfume to smell like a puppy breath

[selfshippy-bun]

what does you're f/o smell like?

do they use perfume/cologne?

[gayelectro]

I've been thinking way too much about scents for a few couple years and it's all kind of because of this question, honestly.

Bull Armor does not wear perfume. It's formulated to work best on human skin, not metal plating, and mecha have completely different olfactory sensors than humans do. *While they can detect the presence of toxic chemicals in the air, they do not experience the sensation of smell as we know it.

That getting said, he absolutely does give off a smell. No professional Leaguer's smell is overwhelming or overpowering, as they're finely crafted to be as appealing to a human audience as possible. But it's still pretty distinct from Leaguer to Leaguer because their lifestyle and lack of awareness to it will make them all different!

All Leaguers have (literal) scent notes of:

Steel, Motor Oil, and Gasoline.

Self-explanatory, they're robots. Heavy machinery. They kind of have the smell similar to a hot running car.

Figuratively, in terms of notes in perfumery, all Leaguers also smell like:

Tonka beans and Oud.

Tonka beans smell deeply vanilla-like, a little powdery, and just the slightest but nutty. It (safely) replicates smells like WD-40 and belt dressing, which are toxic and mechanical, but if you do manage to get a whiff of them, they actually smell pretty nice. Oud is hard to describe unless you smell it yourself, it's a very specific and wonderful funk. For a long time, I just described it as "sexy robot". It's musky, earthy, spicy, and a little bit smoky in a uniquely intoxicating way. Magnetic. I can't help but think Leaguers would all have an element of oud to their scent profile.

And then on top of all that, I think Bull Armor specifically would smell like:

Fresh Cut Grass.

Because I like it and he's a football player turned soccer goalie and he's cow themed.

*Pure speculation on my part, not substantiated by anything within the canon material.

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I got a few little samples from Poesie Perfume. So far, I'm really loving them!

Now a warning off the bat: they are dabber style samples. I usually try to avoid getting dabbers, but sometimes they're the only choice you've got. I won't sample from sample sites that do dabbers, but I'll typically support small indie businesses that do dabbers. (After all, I do understand that they're much less likely to leak in transit!)

Now this brand focuses more on perfume oils rather than perfume sprays. At first in my perfume journey, I really didn't like oils that much, but I've actually grown very fond of them over time. Sprays are definitely easier and quicker to apply, but oils really shine in how they sit close to the skin. I'm not usually afraid that I'm going to choke someone out with what I wear.

Anyways, onto Poesie specifically

I bought a merry little set. Mothman, Introvert Goblin, Demeter, and Soft. And as a freebie, I got a sample of Madar too! I was sooooo pleased with this, as I actually wanted Madar anyways, but I couldn't justify buying that many.

Three days ago, I tried out Introvert Goblin.

The listed notes are: chai tea with extra cardamom, a cozy stack of old books, marshmallow, sweet pumpkin flesh enrobed in warm pumpkin spice.

And my goodness, it really is cozy. I can make out all the notes and it's just a delight. I've got a couple pumpkin flesh perfumes and this one is a wonderful middle ground of sweetness. It's very warm because of the cardamom and so it feels very nice to wear. It's comforting. I really do love this and I think despite it being a dabber, and thus more of a hassle to put on, I'm going to try and use up every last drop. It's so lovely and I bet would layer excellently with other perfumes too.

Two days ago, I tried on Soft.

It's just got one note: basmati rice soliflore.

Do I know what "soliflore" means even after looking it up? Not even remotely. But holy shit, this sure does smell exactly like freshly and perfectly steamed basmati rice. It's so delicious and simple. It really does blow my mind. I didn't ever really think about the nuances in that scent before trying it on, but it's just how it's described. It is soft. It is kinda nutty. It is musky. This is another one from this house that feels like it'll layer beautifully with other things in the future.

I'm really REALLY impressed with Poesie so far! I'm excited to try more!

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I really don't know at this point if it's a "my nose" thing or a "my skin chemistry" thing, but to me sandalwood always always smells like pickle brine.

I thought it was strictly a my-skin thing, because like, obviously sandalwood is a popular note and I never have thought "wow, that jerk over there reeks like pickles", so clearly I'm not noticing it on other people in that way.

But today, my sample set order from Sorce came in.

It's their Spellbound discovery set, a sampling of their Halloween-adjacent scents. Or rather, fall-ish? I dunno exactly. Basically, four scents that are very obviously Halloween inspired, and then we've got English Major randomly in there too. English Major is a very popular scent by them and a lot of people associate it with fall, so I guess that's why it's here.

Anyways, I'm extremely excited to try most of the set. Vampire Husband, Ephemera, and Stuck on You are ones that I greatly look forward to. Meanwhile Vampire Wife and English Major I was apprehensive about. But anyways, I figured I didn't want to wait and let the perfumes settle (the way you're supposed to do after they've been through the temperature changes and extreme jostling mail system), so to scratch the itch, I should start trying the ones I don't have high hopes for. So, today was English Major.

English Major's listed notes are: library books, orris absolute, marshmallow, carrot seed, sandalwood, fallen leaves. It's described as an earthy gourmand. And lots of people say it's cozy, smells like a lofi studying video. But for me, all I see on that list is that dreaded sandalwood. I figured this would go pickles on me.

Aaaaaaaaaaand it did. I sprayed it hours ago and still all I get from it is pickle juice. Like an open jar of Vlasics.

But here's the weird thing?

My wife smelled it on me and she loved it. She said it's nice. I asked her to describe it to me and she said "it reminds me of the Texas Roadhouse rolls, with the cinnamon butter spread. Very creamy, very soft and sweet butter."

And I'm like damn. Wish I could smell that. I love that smell. Unfortunately all I actually smell is PICKLES.

So yes. This is probably a very great scent. For other people. But unfortunately I am afflicted with some sort of sandalwood curse which taints all perfumes which have it.

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UPDATE: She tried it on for me and yes, I still smell pickles. The thing is, on her, I can really only smell it when I basically get my nose basically right on top of her skin, which is obviously not how close I get to anybody in public. So yeah, I think me and sandalwood just disagree?

Though, funnily enough, I've got this sugar scrub that I love. Sweet Punkin, I think it's called? It's got just three notes, apricot, pumpkin flesh, and sandalwood. But to me, it smells like a beautiful Costco pumpkin pie! But I suppose it's not a perfume, but a scrub, and I dunno how the ingredients are made differently for it to not be noticeable to me like that.

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Today I tried Vampire Wife by Sorce from the Spellbound discovery set that I mentioned I got in my previous post.

Now, Vampire Wife has two major things going against it for me. I dislike nearly all citrus scents a lot and I sort of avoid powdery notes. This perfume has both of them and many reviews I've seen really talk about the powder-y-ness of this scent. Powder notes often just smell like either baby powder or ancient stale makeup brushes to me, and I don't like either association at all. Meanwhile, I think most citrus notes go funky as shit on my skin, with the rare exception of some brand's interpretation of lime or some brand's interpretation of pomelos.

But that being said, I don't seem to even know that a perfume still comes off as powdery if it doesn't set off those two distinct alarm bells in my mind. I've worn several perfumes that I love, and when I have a friend sniff, they say it is powdery. So my own definition of what makes something powdery is obviously skewed! So I don't completely never try a perfume just because it is said to be powdery, it simply makes me hesitate.

Anywho, Vampire Wife has notes of: blood orange, star anise, wedding cake, peru balsam, tonka bean absolute, heliotrope, oakmoss, and powdered skin. And it just blossomed on my skin in a way I did not expect at all.

I tend to associate citruses in perfume with body odor and sweat. Most of the time, that's how it comes off on me. But this perfume actually smells like a beautiful spiced orange cake! It's not anything like a real orange, it's very much cake first. And I think the "powder" just makes it feel like a very airy and light cake.

Does this feel like a Halloween scent? Not really, not to me. I find nothing vampiric in nature about this perfume. But god damn! It's a simply marvelous spiced orange cake perfume for sure!

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I really don't know at this point if it's a "my nose" thing or a "my skin chemistry" thing, but to me sandalwood always always smells like pickle brine.

I thought it was strictly a my-skin thing, because like, obviously sandalwood is a popular note and I never have thought "wow, that jerk over there reeks like pickles", so clearly I'm not noticing it on other people in that way.

But today, my sample set order from Sorce came in.

It's their Spellbound discovery set, a sampling of their Halloween-adjacent scents. Or rather, fall-ish? I dunno exactly. Basically, four scents that are very obviously Halloween inspired, and then we've got English Major randomly in there too. English Major is a very popular scent by them and a lot of people associate it with fall, so I guess that's why it's here.

Anyways, I'm extremely excited to try most of the set. Vampire Husband, Ephemera, and Stuck on You are ones that I greatly look forward to. Meanwhile Vampire Wife and English Major I was apprehensive about. But anyways, I figured I didn't want to wait and let the perfumes settle (the way you're supposed to do after they've been through the temperature changes and extreme jostling mail system), so to scratch the itch, I should start trying the ones I don't have high hopes for. So, today was English Major.

English Major's listed notes are: library books, orris absolute, marshmallow, carrot seed, sandalwood, fallen leaves. It's described as an earthy gourmand. And lots of people say it's cozy, smells like a lofi studying video. But for me, all I see on that list is that dreaded sandalwood. I figured this would go pickles on me.

Aaaaaaaaaaand it did. I sprayed it hours ago and still all I get from it is pickle juice. Like an open jar of Vlasics.

But here's the weird thing?

My wife smelled it on me and she loved it. She said it's nice. I asked her to describe it to me and she said "it reminds me of the Texas Roadhouse rolls, with the cinnamon butter spread. Very creamy, very soft and sweet butter."

And I'm like damn. Wish I could smell that. I love that smell. Unfortunately all I actually smell is PICKLES.

So yes. This is probably a very great scent. For other people. But unfortunately I am afflicted with some sort of sandalwood curse which taints all perfumes which have it.

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Okay, so I've been wanting to talk about these perfumes I got samples of months ago that I love. The issue I've been having is that one of the ones I really really love and wanted to talk about won an award recently.

And it's like, clearly that's not actually a problem! I think it's wonderful that it won! It's one of my favorite new samples and I would love love love to have a full bottle of it one day.

But no, the issue at hand is that I've felt like I need to mention that the perfume won an award and... Every time I try to work it into the post that I'm writing about other samples from the house, it completely fucks up the flow? And it just feels derailing and like I'm getting off track. I can't fit it in well. It just gets so messy.

So I'm just gonna make this post instead! Congrats to d.grayi for winning fragrance house of the year! And extra congrats on his scent Honey Bunny for winning fragrance of the year! I don't think there could've been a single better choice, as this house and this specific scent are truly magical.

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Always remember that some people will just say anything and to take every idea with a grain of salt. I've seen people call "fig" and "strawberry" fantasy accords and it's like... Babe, it can't be a fantasy accord if it's a real thing that is known for having a distinctive smell. Amber is a fantasy accord because amber is in reality a scentless stone, but in perfumery, amber is usually a blend of what people imagine that should smell like; generally some mix of benzoin and labdanum with a dash of honey or vanilla. But figs are a real fruit that you can smell? Strawberries are a real fruit that you can actually smell! Just bite one! Or cut one open! Sniff it, I swear there's smell in there!!!

[gayelectro]

In regards to my previous reblog, just sampled a perfume that's supposed to smell like Korean street food at work today. Instantly regretted trying something so bold on a work day, as it was far more realistic and direct than I thought it would be. At least I was literally isolated from all humanity for 12 hours, so thankfully no one noticed that I smelled perfectly of beer, soy sauce, and smoked meat. All day. It's a perfect replication of those things, but maybe not a suitable perfume for me.

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Sharing the information on the perfume here, in case you wanna smell like this. It really is perfect at what it is aiming for.

Pocha Bar by KST Scent.