i was so sure ; self para
Her feet dragged across the arid land. Her gaze flickering towards the man beside her. She wasn’t used to his company just yet. To even believe that she was related to the man she had been so close to. Well, it just called for awkward small talk, didn’t it? Her hand tightened around her crutch. It was the first time she was outside of the hospital since they arrived. In all honesty, she just wanted the fresh air. At the grumble and mention of going out to patrol the borders of their makeshift camp, the brunette jumped at the idea. Though Giano wasn’t too keen on letting someone accompany him, she took it for the better. Here they were -- awkwardly standing beside one another. Her lips were pursued, wanting to say at least something. It just scrambled out of her lips like a wild animal.
“So -- How --- Did you find your brother?”
His gaze lingered on her for a while. She couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind. A tight jaw and restless gaze. Were all of his family so similar to him? Charlotte couldn’t even think of Rico just yet. She knew he was out there. She knew he was alive and well. Part of her was so terrified that losing him again would break her more than it did. Lori was right in a way. Her irrationality - something she always prided on not having - was because of his absence. He tore through her something she never thought she could lose. She couldn’t afford to lose him, but again she couldn’t afford to not love him. The brunette knew that Giano was aware of their -- whatever they had. He didn’t comment too much on it. He didn’t sneer and mention the wife fallen to it.
“He needs you, you know?” Charlotte spoke softly, glancing forward. A pistol remained in its holster. “He needs at least some form of family. It keeps him level headed. Besides, I can’t really do too much to replace her.” That was a fear she had never spoken out loud before. Sometimes she felt so much as a shadow to Clarice’s memory. They were walking for a while. It was calm. It was the breath of fresh air that she needed. Well, just by Giano’s gruff replies -- it was something he needed as well. Her gaze flickered the edge of the forest. Pine. That was something that always reminded her of home. Her old house was cloaked around it. It was a small little thing. She remembered hating the smell of pine, dismissing it as something she’d never miss when moving to New York. That was a lie. She was sure there were more where that came from.
Then, there was a rustle in the woods. Her gaze darting towards the sound immediately. Giano already had his weapon drawn, gun pointed towards the creatures that crawled from the dust. There were more than she could count. A flock. Her weapon was drawn, not even hesitating to shoot. It moved through like a blur. Soon -- There was only one left. There was a tear against her skin, causing her to gasp in pain from it. This was how she was going to die. She couldn’t have this happen. Not yet. Not after getting back everything that was right in her life. Her hand ducked, trying to back away from it. She tried to keep as much distance from it as possible. Then, a gunshot. It vibrated through her entire being, watching the infected fall beside her. Her crutch was left alone - She couldn’t even identify it any longer. There was a burning sensation on her forearm. She could feel it. She could physically feel the bite against her skin. She could also feel Giano’s gaze on her. It didn’t take him more than a few moments to notice. There was a thickness in her silence, watching as his weapon drew towards her. Shit --
Her hand rose suddenly, almost blocking the barrel of the gun that was already pointed towards her. There was no reason for him to trust her, right? Her hand trembled as she tried to piece together her thoughts. “Wait.” Charlotte spoke, her tone weaving almost desperately. This was the first time in a while that she felt actually scared. “You won’t shoot me. You will take me back to the hospital. You will take me to Aiden and the other doctors. Her --- Agn --- and I have been working on a cure. You owe your brother at least to let me try.”
Giano stared at her for a while. He couldn’t deny her. That was clear in just his hesitation. “Fine.” His tone roughly escaped his lips. She stared at him for the longest while. Tears reached her gaze, but she didn’t dare let them fall. She needed to be brave. That was the only thing she could do - be brave and reckless. His arms scooped underneath her. She could barely tell. There was a beating against her ears. A beat. Static. Her heart was racing faster than Giano’s legs could really offer. Wind whistled past them, the cold touching her pale cheeks. There was no clear sense in his actions. Her senses were blurred. The pine that rushed past them soon into the stark gray building. Crushed leaves soon into tiled floors. It took her a while to even realize where she was. It was all blinded by the unbearable pain that laced against her arm.
It throbbed madly with the beat of her own heart. She could feel it. She could feel every inch of it move through her body. Was this what it was like for David? Did he feel this very same fear? Did time freeze like this for him? She never dared to imagine. Now, it felt as if vines were crawling underneath her skin. Memory was getting the best of her. Her gaze trailed along the white walls that whirled past them. Panting - Yes, the man carrying her was panting. She was so sure that a scream was held in the confusion. All at once, her body stopped. Giano was standing in the floor, just before the only person she trusted in this world at the moment. A wince fell past her lips as he laid her down on a table. What was going on? She felt a hand on her forehead. It was cold, stark against the sweat that matted her brow. A wheeze fell past her lips. The fever had already started. She could just feel her mind deteriorate as time went on.
No --- Charlotte. She needed to concentrate. Just because her mind was failing her didn’t meant she was completely lost. With gritted teeth, the brunette laced her fingertips around Aiden’s wrist as it drew away from her forehead. The vaccine still rest in her bag. Ever since the fall of the city, it never left the bag at her side. Aiden’s lips were moving, but she couldn’t seem to tell what words she was forming. Those doll-like eyes fell on her, mechanical. Critical and logical. They were ones she could trust in this moment. The disconnect to emotion was exactly what she needed. There were bruises around her neck. Were those real or was it simply the stars that danced around her vision? A heavy breath fell past her lips as she tried to concentrate. Everything distracted her. The florescent lights blurring, the searing spark of pain down her spine.
( What happened? )
“We were out on a run, scouting for supplies -- around the borders here. I---I fucked up. Mmm -- Aiden, I fucked up.” Aiden wasn’t looking at her, but rather the mark that tainted her ivory skin.She could feel the eyes of every one of the doctors in the room. Some of them were ones she worked with closely in the clinic. They all were thinking the same thing. She could see it clearly across their expressions.
“Yeah, you kinda did. Big time.” Dark humor laced her tongue, something that Charlotte was always able to admire. Her gaze fluttered, staring up at her as she spoke. All of her concentration was on --- HER. A hand reached against her blonde hair, Aiden shook her head. Charlotte was just waiting for her to say it -- to suggest it. “Charlotte--” A pause. Nothing more, but there it was. The unspoken question hung heavy in the air. Stars spiraled around her friend’s blonde locks. They looked so intricate. She could have sworn they were alive on their own. Her gaze slid past the doctors in this room. They didn’t know. How could they possible know? Aiden, Oliver, and Charlotte had kept this secret so tight knit. There were only a few that knew outside of them. Now, there was no point in keeping it tucked away. It was needed - God, she needed this one chance.
Blinking harshly, the former scientist struggled to raise her other arm. The sudden movement caused the tension to rise - some even reaching for a weapon. Watching them unsteadily, Charlotte drew out the vile in her bag. Hand trembling, a gasp of pain fell past her lips and put it on the table. Veins blackening, lacing it’s way through the system. The bite was faulting her movements. It felt as if her arm was moving through sludge. There was a crazed panic behind her eyes. By God, she wasn’t ready to throw it all away just yet. There had to be some way to fix this. There was --- The words slipped from her lips, slurred. “I still have it. We could try it. I mean, we can’t always rely on rats, right?” A sly smirk touched her lips, almost pleading against the fate she knew alternatively.
When Aiden moved away, tears breached her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled at the simple idea that she took it. She took the chance. Now, the brunette had nothing left to lose. Every inch of her know that this wasn’t something Aiden wanted to do. It was the only way they could truly find out if this damn cure worked. She couldn’t be scorned for giving up. Charlotte never just gave up. Her hands trembled against the restraints the other doctors strapped her down with. She couldn’t see their faces. It was for safety. She wasn’t against it -- knowing this. A shaky sigh fell past her lips as the band wrapped around her arm. Aiden’s steady hands searched for a vein across her skin. Once found, there was a sharp sting against her skin. She didn’t even blink when the cool metal pierced her skin. It was nothing in comparison. A stray tear slid past her gaze, falling against the steel that rest beneath her. She turned her head away, trying to keep herself strong.
Then it hit -- the BURNING. Her hands sharply gripped the table. A sharp intake of breath passed through the sudden burn that slid through her veins. No, this shouldn’t have been how it felt. Her gaze fluttered, eyes casting towards the ceiling as she sucked in another breath. Was this working? She couldn’t see her arm. She couldn’t self diagnose herself. Her body trembled at the mere thought that she couldn’t tell what was going on. She wasn’t in control -- and that itself scared her more than the idea of death. The black that soaked her veins beneath her skin seemed to be depleting. Things -- Things were working. She could feel it working. Latex gloves pressed against her -- Charlotte couldn’t really tell what the blonde was doing. The fever is coming down. Fast.
Blurred static blurred through her ears. Aiden said something. “This is the first test of this.” She didn’t know what. She could -- What was going on? What was she doing? What was their next move? Fever. Cold. It was cold. It felt - normal. Her body was retaining its homeostasis. The burning was still there -- Dull. But there. It was working. That was all that mattered. A struggled pant fell past her lips, head resting against the table. It was almost as if she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed. Part of her just assumed it was days. Laying against the table, those bright blue eyes glassing over with each fumbled word. “I can’t look at ‘im.” She spoke, shaking her head. “Christ, we have so much work to do after this...I can’t believe -- I can’t believe this is actually working.” A smile - wide despite her dazed exterior. Her brows knitted together at a suddenly realization in her mind. “Shit, they’re gonna kill me. I -- If this doesn’t, my friends are gonna kill me.” Each word was slowed, despite the laugh that bubbled past her lips. Slowly, the became more and more inaudible. Even in the light of her own mistakes, her friends were the only concern in her mind. Them -- And the cure. They couldn’t know about this. They couldn’t know how close she had gotten. They didn’t deserve that kind of pain. She wasn’t sure who she was attempting to talk to. Giano? Aiden? They blurred to the same. All she could concentrate on was those vivid blue eyes.
Sweat matted her brow, staring towards the blurred figure before her. Slowly, her head lulled - hardly able to keep itself up. When had the fever begun again? She couldn’t tell. She tried to consume herself with some strain of thought --
Then it all just --------
ＳＴＡＴＩＣ
A body lurched forward -- the sound of tearing echoing across the room. Screams were heard, scampering around the perimeter. One sound vibrated against the walls of the room -- a gunshot. A blink of an eye later, and the black tar soaked the wall. It’s skull was blown apart, bits and pieces scattered around. A beat. “I’m sorry.” Giano spoke, breaking the swathed silence.
