bloodbuzz

[jamesxgarrett]

"Ow," said James. It was more of an automatic response - Britt was very small, and he was a six foot something wall of muscle. It wasn't that he didn't feel it, but more that Brittany could put her full weight behind those shoves, and wasn't likely to move him an inch. It was a sign of how serious he was taking this, though, that he didn't immediately point that out, or ask if she'd lost her mind. After everything, James figured he could let her get in a few hits.

When she started crying, though? James felt that. He absently rubbed the spot on his chest she had pushed, as though soothing the non-existent pain, and looked away for a minute. He didn't know what to do with himself. Obviously he couldn't just walk away while she was crying. Even he wasn't that big of an asshole. But any words that might comfort her just weren't coming into his head. As it turned out, that wasn't what he was good at. What he was good at was the physical, and as soon as the idea entered his head, he acted on it without stopping to think if it was a good idea.

He took a step forward, closing his fingers over her wrists and gently pulling them away from her face. Once he could see her, he paused for a second, eyes dropping to her lips, and leaned in to kiss her. It wasn't the soft and gentle kind of kiss. If he had given it more than a split second of thought, he might have gone that route. Instead, he kissed her the way he would have done if they were still together, because that was the only thing he could think to do to take away some of the hurt.

[brittvaidya]

If there was a big, stupid idiot contest, Britt would've been the reigning champion every time. That's how it felt, anyways. She'd had her fair share of doing or saying things that she knew weren't exactly her finest moments. Sobbing in the middle of the sketchy alleyway just outside of her workplace, though? That was a new low. She was all prepared to be ditched, letting herself have her grippy-sock worthy breakdown before David or one of the other artists came to drag her back inside. That didn't happen, though.

She was still in the midst of letting out all the little sniffles and whimpers once her hands were pulled away. She blinked in confusion, practically frozen under James's gaze. Why the hell was he still there? Almost as weird as that, the moment he kissed her, she found herself kissing him back. It was an autopilot thing, or so she presumed. They'd dated long enough that it was just her body naturally reacting to his. Once her brain registered the reality of everything, though, mainly the fact this wasn't normal, she abruptly pulled away. Her brows knit together, and her hand met his cheek with a quick slap. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asked, but there was no anger in her voice. It was all ache.

It would've been so much easier if he hadn't kissed her. Maybe then, Britt wouldn't be welling up all over again. It wasn't because of what he'd done this time, though. It was the realization of how much she'd missed him. She took a few steps closer, jaw clenched as she took in the blurry blob version of him the tears currently reflected. "You're such a dick," she stated, the break in her voice melting away into something else. Britt didn't really know how to put it into words, but she wasn't sure she had to. It was all on her face. "And it's been really fucking hard without you around." She knew she was a hot mess, mascara smudged along her cheeks and her bottom lip quivering like a six year old who's ice cream fell off the cone. It didn't change how she felt, though. It didn't change a damn thing. She might've regretted it later, but right then and there, she couldn't help it. If anyone asked, it was done solely as a distraction. She knew the truth, though. That's what had Britt pressing herself to James and kissing him, hard.

[jamesxgarrett]

James cleared his throat. His gaze wasn't darting around anymore, remaining firmly fixed on the ground, watching the toe of his boot as he scuffed it idly on the ground. He didn't have an answer for her. Not one that would satisfy, anyway. Usually, he was good at talking himself out of situations, but there were no words for this. He could hear in her voice that she was close to tears, and he was stupid enough to glance up to check. Only briefly, though. He couldn't actually look at her for long, hanging his head again. He felt like a complete scumbag. Maybe he was.

But Brittany was asking more questions, and he knew he had to give her at least some form of an answer. "... I don't know." His voice was hoarse when he spoke, and he cleared his throat, because that answer wasn't enough. "Fuck, I don't know why I did it, Britt. I just... I'd had a lot to drink. Josie brought these edibles. I was fucked up. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have said all that." He should have left her alone, to live her life and move on. It wasn't her fault that he hadn't. Not from her, and not from the other thing that he'd rambled about when he'd called her. Luckily, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk about that. That was a blessing to James - it was the only conversation he wanted to have less than the one he was having. He wanted to tell her that it was serious, that she wasn't replaceable, but he couldn't get it out of his mouth.

A look of confusion crossed his face, his brow furrowing. "I... don't know how I was supposed to know I miss you if we didn't break up?" he pointed out. What she said next, though? James froze, inhaling a little sharper than before. Telling Oscar or Josie he loved them? That was easy. Telling Ellis or Holden or any of his other friends? That wasn't a problem either. Saying it back to Brittney, though? That was a whole other ballgame. It wasn't that he didn't want to say it back. It wasn't even that he didn't feel it. After the voicemail he left her, he was pretty sure that was what he was feeling for her. But saying it was different. He'd never been there before with anyone, and the words stuck awkwardly in his throat, dying before they could make it out. "Yeah." He said, eventually, because that felt less difficult to do. "Yeah. Same feelings here." He finally willed himself to look at her, even though it made him feel like throwing up to see her cry. "'M sorry, baby. I know I fucked it all up."

[brittvaidya]

The graffiti on the brick behind James's head started to warp, at least in Britt's cloudy view it did. There was apparently no stop to the stupid tears or the funhouse distortion filter they temporarily gave her vision. Despite that, he was still so annoyingly hot, even when he was saying stupid shit, and then not so stupid shit. Yeah, same feelings here. What the fuck did that mean? She hadn't even gotten the chance to ask him about the stuff with his dad, either. Before she could dwell on all the shit they hadn't even gotten to, he was looking right at her. She'd been naked in front of him before, countless times in fact, but never in this way. This was different, and she didn't think she liked it.

"Yes, you did. You really fucked it all up," she said, any attempt at sounding angry melting away as fast as it came on, her lips wobbling with emotion blowing her cover. "And you still have the nerve to call me baby when you know what it does to me...and how badly I've wanted to hear you call me that again." Maybe he didn't know that and she'd just embarrassed herself yet again. God, she was so fucking stupid. She was mad at herself. She was a lot more mad at him, though. It was enough that she found herself breaking the distance between them only to reach out and shove his chest hard...or at least, try and shove his chest hard. He was a giant, and on a good day, she reached about 5'4 and a half. "You're such a fucking asshole, James," she spat out, another shove following. "I really wished I hated you." Another. "I should hate you. I should want to punch you right now for every-" Shove. "Fucking," Shove. "Thing." Another, with feeling. And then, she stopped, her breathing coming in heavy bursts. She should hate him, but she didn't. Not one bit. "Sorry," was all that she managed to squeak out before the dam really broke. She wasn't sure what she'd said sorry for. Maybe it was to apologize for what was about to happen.

Everything hit at once. Every pent up feeling came exploding from out of nowhere, and she couldn't do anything to stop or lessen or control it. It was so stupid and pathetic and exactly how she ended up a few steps away from James, face pressed into her hands and bawling hard enough that the tears soaked her fingers.

[jamesxgarrett]

James was looking everywhere but directly at Brittany. His gaze slid over her, sure, in between looking at the wall opposite them and his own feet, but never lingered for long, nor raised enough to catch her eye. For someone who had left a lot of wreckage in his wake, he'd never been very good at sticking around long enough to look over the damage. The last time he'd really had to face it was when his ex-girlfriend, Jane or something, had a meltdown after he broke up with her. Despite acting the way that he did, James liked to think of himself as a good guy. The problem was, he was a good guy who really, really didn't want to be reminded that when it came to women, he wasn't all that good at all.

The tone of Britt's voice made him want to turn and run. He didn't do that, but that's was the only urge he manage to suppress. The one telling him to shove his head deep, deep into the sand and avoid the conversation she was gearing up for all together? That one was too strong to ignore. "Yeah." He muttered, huffing out a laugh that was about as full of the joys as Britt's own. "Yeah. Not sure I really get it either." He squirmed a bit when the mentioned the voicemail, the one thing he absolutely did not want to talk about, and lowered his arms, but only to shove his hands in his pockets. "You were supposed to be on lunch break," he pointed out, weakly. It was the wrong thing to be protesting, but there was too much about this conversation he couldn't defend. That bit, he could, and a part of him hoped it might distract her enough to prompt a change of subject.

Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. Britt circled back to the voicemail, and she didn't sound angry anymore. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying, and James didn't know which was worse. The way he saw it, he had two options. The first was the most tempting - he could pretend that he didn't remember the voicemail. He shouldn't remember it, given how fucked up he'd been when he'd sent it. It was a cruel twist of fate that he did. He opened his mouth to follow through with the lie, but what followed surprised even James.

"Yeah." He said. It was option two, the honest option, the one that meant digging into things he didn't want to let himself feel sober. "It's how I feel. But it's fine, yeah? Just forget it. Delete it." He was aiming for casual, but his tone got a little desperate at the end.

[brittvaidya]

"No." She'd hoped for strong, demanding. That wasn't the way her voice delivered the word, though. It was just hurt. Plain and simple. "No, I can't forget it, James. You told me you missed me and thought about me all the time. How the fuck am I supposed to forget that?" Those stupid tears finally came, warm, wet drops racing down her cheeks. She didn't want to be like this. She wasn't the stupid girl that cries in front of her ex boyfriend. 'God, I feel like Alyssa right now' flashed through her mind, but it quickly shifted upon the realization it was more than that, why she felt how she did.

"Why did you wait until I wasn't with you anymore to finally let me all the way in, James?" She let that hang between them for a moment before the words started spilling. "You just...you made me feel like the whole time, this was never serious to you. It's like I was just...disposable. Like all that time didn't matter, and that the next blonde who walked into the room could automatically take my place...and that really fucking hurt, because you were my friend before we turned this into a thing. I lost my boyfriend and a friend when we split, so for you to then turn around and say shit like you did in that message..." She was shaking her head now, trying and failing to keep the tears at bay.

It was getting increasingly difficult to speak, any composure Britt had left starting to crash. She had to keep talking, though. He'd told her his truth. Now, he needed to hear hers. "Why did you wait until after you broke my heart to tell me what I wanted to hear? Why the fuck would you do that?" It was obvious that the question was rhetorical. It was also quite obvious how Britt was on the verge of full on sobbing. Her breaths were staggered, almost choking on them. "Because I'm so fucking mad at you, James, but I'm more mad at myself, cause I fucking loved you, dude. I still do. I love you, and you ruined it." That was the most she could manage before the sobs took full reign.

[jamesxgarrett]

He could hear her footsteps getting closer, but James didn't move. He didn't even realise he was holding his breath until he felt himself getting a little dizzy, forcing him to inhale sharply. His eyes were wide, locked on to David in a silent plea for help, but the guy didn't seem to have clocked on to what exactly was happening here. His only option at this point was to try and bolt for the door, but James couldn't will his legs to work. Instead, he stayed there, in full opossum, playing-dead mode.

There was a snap of something behind him, and if it hadn't been for the fact he didn't feel anything, his automatic thought was that she'd hit him with something. He braced himself for the blow that didn't come, and when it didn't materialise, slowly looked up to meet Britt's eyes. She was standing there, wearing a single glove for some reason he wasn't sure of. His throat was completely dry, a wave of shame rolling over him when he, once again, recalled the bullshit he had spewed on the phone to her.

James knew he wasn't really sober enough to have this conversation and navigate it successfully, but he stood up anyway, slower than was necessary. "Thanks for trying, man," he said to David, who looked like he had no idea what was going on. In truth, James hadn't, either. He kept his gaze on the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets, but nodded his head anyway. "Uh, yeah, sure. We can go wherever you want."

She led him out to the alley behind the tattoo shop, and James bit back the urge to joke that he'd rather her coworkers overheard them than the local crackheads. It didn't seem like the right move and, uncharacteristically for James, he just couldn't bring himself to joke around. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "So what's up?"

[brittvaidya]

Britt decided that she'd leave David to connect the dots on his own, knowing it'd click at some point. There was too much going on to just let James wander in without consequences, though. There was a dark red couch out back, one she'd taken the occasional nap on or lounged across while eating her lunch. It was a common area of sorts for the whole tattoo crew. Today, though, it served as something to keep her eyes directed on when looking at James became too much. It pissed her off that he was able to stand there, still looking hot as ever, as if he didn't flip her entire world on its head months ago. He was so unbothered by it all, too. It was infuriating.

"What's up?" she asked right back, letting out a short laugh. It was definitely more a 'is this guy fucking for real' laugh versus a 'ha-ha funny' laugh, her tone pretty clear. She didn't understand how he was always so casual about everything. "James...I don't get you. I really don't. We break up, don't talk for months, and then in the span of, what, a week? You send me an atomic bomb of a voicemail that leaves me with so many questions because what the actual fuck, dude? And now you show up here when you could've picked from a million other tattoo studios. Considering all of that, do not fucking 'what's up' me. You know exactly what's up."

She wanted to sound angry, and for a while, she did. It was once she really processed him standing there and considered his apology, the one he'd devastatingly uttered near the end of that voicemail, that it became a lot harder to not just be really fucking sad about it all. She blinked, feeling a prickling in her eyes and pressing her lips together. "Did you mean it?" she asked, her voice having lost most of its edge from before. She knew she sounded like she was about to burst into tears and couldn't find it in herself to care. "When you apologized, and, um, everything else you said...is that actually how you feel?"

[jamesxgarrett]

"Honestly, man, I think I'm running out of space." James had his sleeves rolled up, examining the ink on his arms in the hope that a bare patch of skin would present itself to him. Was it risky showing up at his ex's place of work for a tattoo consultation in the hope that he could slink in and out while she was on her lunchbreak? Maybe, although in James' opinion, it would have been a bigger risk to walk into a studio he wasn't familiar with and let them go nuts with a needle. "I don't know. Maybe we could make it smaller?"

He was in the process of tugging down his sleeves when the door opened. James had never been the most intuitive of guys, but somehow, he knew without looking that Britt had cut her lunchbreak short. It wasn't just the messy circumstances surrounding their breakup. James usually blacked out when he drank as much as he had on his family's vacation. Unfortunately, the voicemail he'd left Britt where he'd essentially spilled his guts like a little bitch? That, he remembered in clear detail. It wasn't his finest moment, nor was what he did next. Instead of addressing the elephant in the room, he maintained direct eye contact with David, his expression panicked, and slowly slid lower and lower in his chair in the hopes she wouldn't notice him.

@brittvaidya

[brittvaidya]

Britt's job wasn't ever boring. It was one of the best things about working in a tattoo parlour; your clientele, the work itself, or a combo of them always made for an interesting day. Unfortunately, the non-boring part seemingly included coming off of a lunch break and spotting your coworker in the middle of a consultation with your ex boyfriend. She did a double take, the way James started sliding down in his seat being a dead giveaway that, yep, it was him. He was a ballsy dude to not only show up where she worked but book in with another artist there as well. Homeboy really likes hopping to whoever's available and in eye sight she thought to herself, clearly still bitter by how things had ended...or how she thought they'd ended.

The voicemail he'd left was totally unexpected, still feeling pangs of the emotional whiplash from it all. Britt thought the stupid Superbowl party was the end of it, the end of them, but apparently not. James literally fucking someone about ten minutes after they'd split apparently wasn't enough to get her out of his head, and in all honesty, she didn't know how to deal with that. There wasn't a guidebook on how to deal with the idiot that broke your heart just for him to reappear and do it all over again.

Of course, Britt had told David about her douchey ex and what he’d did, so the urge to grab something in reach and throw it square at his head flashed through her brain. What she remembered quickly, though, was he wouldn’t know that her ex James was the same James sitting across from him. She sighed, her gaze shifting from David to the back of James's neck, or at least the small piece of it that wasn't fully hidden by the chair. The petty side of Britt wanted to make him flinch, just for a moment. She grabbed a set of latex gloves, taking calculated steps behind where he sat and rolling one on. She grabbed the loose wrist and snapped the plastic, watching how he did or didn’t react before sighing and dropping it all together. This wasn’t fun like she'd hoped. It just felt stupid and sad.

“You’re really shitty at hiding,” she stated to the back of his head before her gaze turned to David. “Sorry to interrupt a consult. You mind if me and him have a quick talk? I promise it’s necessary. All yours for the planning after we're done. It shouldn't take long.”

David seems a little confused but nodded anyways. She felt his eyes on the two of them as she asked James, "You wanna take this outside? Not sure my co-workers need a full on show today."

[jamesxgarrett]

"A woman of fine taste, I see. Makes sense." He let his gaze linger on her a moment before smirking. "Well, who am I to say no? If a Double Whopper isn't to your standards, we can definitely find something that is." This might not be the best idea. If things went as badly as they had with Jane, he'd be screwing himself out of a good tattoo artist. Unfortunately, his brain was underutilised at the best of times, and even more so in the presence of hot women. "Being a gentlemen, I'll let you pick where we go for dinner. The Uber's on me."

[brittvaidya]

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I love a good a Whopper," she said with a wave of her hand. "I just thought you might be up for a challenge." For whatever reason, everything he was saying sparked an idea in her mind. It suddenly made her want to say screw the restaurants. She raised a brow in his direction. "How about I one up you and say no Uber at all? Well, except for maybe one that you take to my place, but forget going out. We should do something corny and totally likely to fail, like cooking together," she suggested. Although her initial thoughts could've been wrong, she had a strong assumption that the both of them were far from master chefs. "If it's a total bust and we burn the kitchen down, we can get take out. If you end up annoying the shit out of me, I'll be surrounded by knives and practice tattoo needles. And, uh, we'll be a lot closer to...well," she shrugged a bit, her voice more hushed than before, "to keep it somewhat suitable for work, rooms that have beds in them. Whether those beds are used or not, we can decide later. What do you think?"

[jamesxgarrett]

"Bet I can change your mind." It might have sounded arrogant, and maybe it was, to say it out loud, even if she was clearly joking about her preferences, but there was no bravado in James' tone. It was a simple statement of fact. He had always been a confident guy - and with Brittany, the odds definitely seemed to be stacked in his favour. It helped that he had known her long enough to build up a bit of banter with her. She wasn't just some random girl he had picked up from the bar - she was fun and flirty and made it easy to reciprocate in force. "Actually, I'm a little short this week. What do you say we dine and dash and save us both a bit of cash?" he smirked, clearly teasing her. "Do I look like the kind of guy who'd take you to McDonald's? Of course not. We're going to Burger King. I'll even get you a little paper crown to wear as we sprint across the parking lot without paying."

[brittvaidya]

"Oh?" Britt didn't elaborate much on her thought. She truth was, she was already in for whatever he was offering. She couldn't gage whether he was a one night or several nights kind of guy, but for whatever reason, she was down to see where one would take them. With him, it'd be harder to escape, considering he had permanent pieces of her etched on his skin already. "You want to steal? You're considering stealing under the roof of my good, Christian work establishment?" she replied, the way the corners of her lips kept pointing upwards being a dead giveaway of her sarcasm. "Because if we're doing that, we need to make it worth while. Burger King is for chumps, although the crown is a tempting offer, but still. I say we go to one of those ritzy places downtown and make an Uber or bus getaway...you know, if you're not scared."

[jamesxgarrett]

James didn't know why he hadn't asked Brittany out before. He'd known her for a while, longer than it usually took him to make his move on a girl he thought was attractive, but though he had flirted with her from day one, he'd never taken the chance to shoot his shot. It was a realisation that hit him when he was walking past her shop, and had him impulsively barging his way through the door without an appointment to show her his latest piece. It was all a bit of an excuse to talk to her, but judging by the split second in which she wore a vacant look on her face, Britt hadn't seen through him until he showed his hand. "I can think of a few things," he pretended to mull it over for a second, a goofy grin on his face. "But if you really wanted me to walk out with a smile on my face, you'd leave with me. Get drinks or something. Guy at the counter said you were taking walk-ins all afternoon. That means you don't have anybody booked in, right?"

[brittvaidya]

I can think of a few things. Although she was holding back a dramatic eye-roll, Britt had a pretty good idea what kind of speech was coming and, frankly, didn't hate the idea of it. "Mmm, I don't know. I'm not really into guys with tats," she almost immediately replied, trying to sound as monotone as possible. It would've been ironic, but it also would've been a lie, and her own grin that was matching his blew any cover she could've had. "Not currently. Maybe we'll have to get a few drinks in you and see what kind of inspiration arises, book you in for a last minute touch up...as long as it's coming out of your wallet, of course," she winked. There was no denying James was hot. She just wanted to make sure that, if there was some kind of client and clientele ethics to go by, she was picking wisely. "Where we going, anyways, smiles? If it's McDonalds, I'm getting myself a McChicken and leaving your ass there."

[jamesxgarrett]

There was no denying that Brittany was talented, but that wasn't exactly why James had chosen her as his tattoo artist of choice. He was a simple man, with simple motivations: she was very hot, and not afraid to get handsy, and that alone would have been enough to keep him as a repeat customer even if her line work looked like it was done by a drunk toddler with a knife and fork. Her skill was just an added bonus. "Yeah, I'm happy with it," he couldn't help but tense his arm a little as she touched him, just enough to make his bicep pop. "Damn, straight to business, huh? I thought I was more to you than just your favourite client. You break my heart, Vaidya." He smirked.

[brittvaidya]

Britt felt herself grin again, wondering if it was just a praise kink or pride in her own work. Either way, she'd take it. It wasn't the dream life that her family had practically planned out of her. Not even close. She was pretty sure that going to university for art nearly gave both parents an aneurysm. Despite their protests, she couldn't be happier working how she did. Her hand froze again his arm as his comment followed, glancing upwards with an almost blank expression before it melted into a smirk once the words registered. "Is that so?" she questioned. "Did you have something not business related in mind you wanted to ask me or chat about? I couldn't bare the thought of you leaving here with a broken heart."

[brittvaidya]

"Alright, dude, let's see it." Britt was already rolling up James's sleeve and checking to see how her last piece had held up. A satisfied grin spread across her lips. "Nice. Looks perfectly healed," she noted as her thumb grazed over the skin. "And that line work?" She paused, bringing her free hand to her mouth with a 'chef's kiss' motion. "Fucking crisp. Am I good, or am I good?" It was at that point that a normal person would've removed their hand, but it remained there and curled around his arm. "So, when are we booking you in next?" @jamesxgarrett