In Solitude, Where We Are Least Alone

Brody Davis US Marshal 

[brody-davis-blog]

racheloisegreene:

Always the one to poke some lightness in any circumstances; even cracking a few jokes when in a burning building, she did not hesitate to raise her hand in defense when a glare was sent her way once she opened her mouth. Though, she should have seen that coming. She was the one to startle one who was already ticked off with whatever occurred in the other end of the phone call. The observant blonde noticed his flesh tinting red, perhaps with the realization of coming off too strong, a smile cracked over her red glossed lips which was rare enough for her. From recently because of her career path, she tends to never wear makeup as there was not a point. If you were to spot her in her earlier years, you would find her experimenting with different products and modeling different looks. Now, she only ever used them is she were to go out on dates or events like these.

Imbibing more of the alcoholic beverage, she held back laughter at his response. She had to give him points for coming up with that scenario. Four for you Glen Coco. “Does the dog need some water? A treat?” Tilting her head to the side in question, she allowed herself to chuckle softly at her teasing. Rachel never feared with what she said. She was blunt and just spoke everything out. Of course, she was gifted a few dirty remarks and forceful touches, but that did not halt her words and mind from just rushing. When the male took out a badge representing the U.S. Marshal, her eyes grew wide in surprise not expecting that one. She was expecting more something to do with owning a banking empire or maybe even working with the host in his business of- well, Rachel never bothered remembering his field of work. Before she could get a word out, her words were stumped when his own took the vacant space. A trophy wife? Quickly, the blonde went to cover her mouth to restrain the threatening chuckles. “Please, like I would get involved with any of these guys.” Her finger twirled around the facility with a raised brow. She would not belittle herself in such way. Once upon a time, she dreamed about marrying a gentlemen with such lifestyle, but that was thrown away a while back. “The host personally invited me. To be frank with you, I think he fancies me. Always sending me these little gifts and leaving me text messages.” Finishing her drink, she placed the glass down on the bar counter, and she placed a hand over her hip. “I happen to be a badass as well. I’m a firefighter.” A smirk grew onto the tinted lips knowing there would be a response she was waiting to see. There always was.

A funny one, and in here – who would’ve thought? “He doesn’t want to come off as needy. The dog was trained to accept whatever the owner offers.” After his fiasco at that hocus pocus store, where he roped a poor and unsuspecting employee into being his shrink, he figured it would be best if he contained his desires for a change. People had their own matters to deal with, and although he dreamed of an ideal world, a utopia where everyone was selfless and kind enough to put their problems aside and help another, the brunette in the shop was right: it was no one’s responsibility to make him feel better. So...”That’s an adorable laughter. If I were you, I wouldn’t be hiding it.” The blonde didn’t strike him as an insecure woman, but he’d seen women cover up their smiles because of silliest things such as a crooked tooth or chapped lips – and he felt as if it was his duty to tell them all how beautiful they are, in all their imperfections. If you ask Brody, women were God’s most marvelous masterpiece. That opinion probably stemmed from his love for his mother, and some would instantly assign him an Oedipus complex (which was pretty annoying), but he simply had a happy and fulfilled childhood to reminiscence of and miss.

“Well, I thought women liked bold and confident men. So many wait for ladies to make the first move nowadays – I imagine his wooing must be quite flattering and refreshing. Unless you dream of other wooing techniques. I do know for a fact that every woman has their preferences...” The question of ‘and what are yours?’ floated in the air, implied although unspoken. He didn’t want to come off as too pushy, considering that they’ve just met, but still, he felt drawn towards getting to know her better. Compelled by her motion, Brody too lowered his drink and arched a single brow at her professional introduction “I’m not surprised. You did finish that drink pretty fast – had to be either a high stress professional or personal life. But now I imagine both. All attendees of adrenaline fueled careers are incapable of separating those two, try hard as they might.” In public, he appeared to be pretty confident about his capability to do so, but he knew fooling someone of his own kin would be counterproductive. At least this was a relationship that didn’t have to be founded on lies and deceit. “What’s your story?”

[shilohbarnes]

Lifeline || Shiloh and Brody

[brody-davis-blog]

shilohbarnes:

Shiloh’s mouth dropped, Scout having made his way into her arms, cuddled up against her chest. Brody wasn’t usually one for monologues. What had come out of his mouth just now was more words in one day then she normally got out of him in a month. “Were you like…saving that monologue up? Short on your word count for the day or something…had some extra to play around with?” She teased of course; their relationship was based around banter, teasing, scoffing and pretend annoyance. But deep down his words had affected her. There was no one else she could talk to…and the suddenly vibrant reminder that Brody actually understood what she was going through because he himself had to do the same thing…it took some of the tension from her frame.

“Maybe I’m just…dramatic or something it…it doesn’t feel like I can still be me,” she whispered, words muffled as she lowered her head to nuzzle against Scout’s soft fur. “It feels like…did you ever get second place in a competition? It almost feels worse than getting third because you’re so close yet so far to what you wanted. I miss Skylar…I miss New York…my friends and my family. It feels like trying to be myself here…without being able to be the full version of myself in the right environment..would feel almost mocking. Like it’s easier for me to do things I hated when I was Skylar…be a different person completely.” She put Scout down, draining a large quantity of wine from the bottle. “Maybe I’m just crazy or something…like everything that happened just permanently broke me.” Shiloh tried to play it off as joking bitterness…but then suddenly there came the sharp sting in her nose that was the prelude to saltwater running down her cheeks.

There was nothing as humiliating and embarrassing for the woman as crying in front of another person. But suddenly she was, sniffling, trying to wipe at her eyes. “I don’t know how people do this for all of their lives…I don’t know if I can do this, Brody.” Her voice trembled, went dark with heaviness, the depression that she’d been trying to hide for months pushing its way into every syllable. “Sometimes…sometimes I wish they’d just killed me in that restaurant…”

In the mood of her word count remark, Brody just subtly scratched himself under the nose with a middle finger, a gesture sometimes speaking more than words. She just didn’t know when not to call him out on something he wasn’t comfortable with. But still, he felt strangely endeared by their conversation, and the fact that her tone was obviously teasing, rather than judgmental or provoking, helped. “Ha-ha, very funny.” His words dripped with sarcasm.

He didn’t think she was dramatic and he certainly didn’t expect for his words to offer easy fix; a quick solution. Didn’t think they’d comfort her or make all of her troubles go away – but he hoped they’d linger in air as an offer, that if she were ever to need someone, he’d be there. “If you think being a completely different person would help, you can do it. It wouldn’t be lying either. You are who you want to be – your actions define you. Your actions. Not other people’s opinions. I get that it’s tough, but unfortunately, it’s your only choice. At least the best one you can make, that is.” There were always many choices, but Brody’s job was to make sure she wouldn’t make wrong ones. “I don’t think you’re broken. Just a little chirped. But whichever of those two you are, you can be glued together, you can be fixed. You just have to start trying and work hard every day towards that goal.” Yes, easier said than done and somewhat hypocritical coming from him...but he’d promised himself to start with a change. Maybe they could do it together.

An exhale escaped his mouth, sympathy coloring his expression at the sight of Shiloh’s tears and fear struck like a lightning at his very core because of words she uttered. Fear, oddly enough, for the first time propelled him forward, pulling his body up from the couch to the other side, right next to her. His hands reached for her face one all distance between them was closed, and he cupped her cheeks leaning in “Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me?” his eyes were wild and focused in on hers. “Death is never a solution. You think it takes away the pain – but it doesn’t. You’re just not there to feel the relief; it never comes. Running away is an option good for only so long – but at one point or another, you have to face life and that point’s now. You’ve done your running part, Shiloh – it’s time for you to stop running and deal with it.”

[brody-davis-blog]

austinxwhite:

Austin didn’t like fundraisers, too fancy for him, too elegant for him to actually feel comfortable, but his friend’s band needed a guitar and he had been free that night, which turned into Austin not being able to say no. Since it was speech time and everyone was paying attention to someone, who he had assumed was a very important man in the room, he headed to the bar, hoping he could ask for a beer or something that he would enjoy, but then again, everything was fancy, even the drinks. He chuckled once he realized what was happening.

“Brody Davis always getting what he wants” Austin commented with a smile as he recognized the man that had done so much for him, probably without even realizing the strong impact he had made in a sixteen year old kid who was getting into too many problems.

Brody Davis always getting what he wants. Those are the words Brody only imagined hearing in his wildest fantasies or a parallel universe – actually, no, not even there. It didn’t seem likely, that someone who knew him would think of saying such thing, but once his attention shifted to the side, he realized why that was. Swallowing the liquor down, he used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth and lowered the glass on the bar, reaching for the man to give him a good ol’ hug and a tap on the back.

“Well, here’s someone I never expected to see here.” Not that he’d wanted to see him among the stuck up bunch of businessmen, but if he was here, it meant he’d made it further from street corners and problems. And he still looked as kind as he did when he was a kid. Brody usually lacked trust towards people, but it was hard judging a man he’s last seen as a kid; you can’t judge a kid. “What the heck are you doing here?”

[brody-davis-blog]

racheloisegreene:

Extravagant events used to be places she dreamed of attending after watching shows like Gossip Girl or even when she was much younger with actresses like Audrey Hepburn being the talk around school. The pearls. Diamonds being a woman’s best friend. High heels. Long dresses. It all screamed for Rachel to get her lifestyle opulence, but dreams come to an end. Not all - but some. For example, now that she was older and actually had money to survive on her own, she no longer fantasize about drinking champagne every afternoon echoing the room with pointless conversations about how the economy is going to handle out in the future. It was all cheap.

Yet, here she was wearing a black dress and a pair of heels that were killing her clumped toes at the end. She somehow met a guy from connections that had money who would be hosting an event. As much as she did not want to attend, her bubbly, optimistic personality had a reputation to withstand. And if she plans on receiving those expensive bottle of wine that the generous man leaves her time from time, she’s going to have to play her part. Walking over to the bar where she could get another drink, her posture stiffened when she noticed the man beside her place his phone down on the counter roughly and asked for something stronger to drink. Of course, she was going to keep her lips sealed of such actions. “Let me guess? Business failed and you had to get the news from an aggravating employee?” She only went down that path knowing most of the people here are rich business men and women. “Or, you know what? It’s something I have no rights to ask about?” A brow rose as she took a sip of the content inside the glass.

Try as he might, Brody couldn’t deny that Cat was right, in sense that his temper was just as nasty as hers when on edge; perhaps that’s what made them such a good match, or at least they used to be. Mostly sexually, but...to some people, heart rested south and these days, he wondered more than ever, if he was one of those people. Having someone address him from aside had him flinch, as he hadn’t expected anyone to approach a bulky angry man, really – and he scolded himself for shooting a glare in a woman’s direction as soon as he did. In fact, his expression shifted so rapidly, haze of red practically melting off of his face, making space for series of other emotions; surprise, confusion and then realization.

God, he hadn’t even drank that much. His brain has tricked him for a millisecond there, confusing her face with Cat’s – and there truly was an eerie resemblance between two of them, if he was to de-age Cat back into her mid twenties. Judging by the woman’s shift in attitude, he realized he must’ve come off as a creep, standing there with his arm in the air, glass resting against his parted lips, which happened to produce no sound even when required “Try more like: a drunk friend in mood to provoke, tugging a leash on her dog whenever she pleases, but refusing to tend to dog when his needs are in question.” A tight, sardonic smile wilted on his lips. Put however much distance you’d like between two of them, and they’ll still find the way to hurt each other, only because their lives are so miserable that they’ve got nothing else to do. No one wanted them; they were damaged goods. And they were just supposed to be sex buddies. Look at them now – on two different sides of the world, fighting like scorned lovers. He wanted an out, he wanted it so much, but he couldn’t just leave her hanging...she’d destroy herself, if only he let her. Taking a sip from his recharged drink, he continued “I’m not really here with business. At least not the sort you think. I am really more of a dog...” he dug his hand in the inside of his jacket, reaching for a Marshal badge from the pocket to show it off “Are you here for trophy wife purposes, even though you have brains?” If they’re keeping up with stereotypes already...

[brody-davis-blog]

“...No – I didn’t – stop interr...I’m sick of this, Cat, you can’t just...Cat? Cat?!”

Bringing the phone down and away from his ear, Brody realized that she’d just ended the call. “Fuck!” Frustration boiled his blood, taking away his control over the volume of his voice – but thankfully the music in the room was loud enough to distract others from what he was doing. He’d retreated somewhere in the corner of the hall for this call, but right now, he needed a drink. Storming over towards the bar, even if most people were heading in the different direction where the organizer of the fundraiser was to hold a speech, he almost slammed his phone against the bar’s surface and ordered “Something strong.”

“But sir, we only serve champ-“ following the pattern of his last phone call, he interrupted “Come on, man – you have to have something stronger. Pour it up in the champagne glass, no one will know.” The bartender watched him carefully for a moment, glancing sideways as if to make sure he wouldn’t get caught, before reaching for something below and then handed him the glass filled with liquor colored the same way champagne is. But once he tasted – well, more like downed the shot, he realized it was Jack. “Thanks man – another, please...”

[fassbender-fan]

[brody-davis-blog]

fassbender-fan:

#MichaelFassbender en The Counselor (2013)

via MichaelFassbenderFan.Net

[brody-davis-blog]

nessa–williams:

“Perhaps there is.” She mumbled softly, her lips pressed into a line for a split second as stewed over the statement. Her eyes flitted around the isle they were occupying, her dulled hues scanning the various wallpapers. They were all different and individual and she couldn’t help but feel like she was the vomit green shade of paper that no one wanted. She hoped for the best in the future but all she saw was the fact she would have to deal with death and a loss; something that clouded all the happiness that was supposed to shine in her future.

She couldn’t help but form a genuine grin on her lips at his comment. He had used hands; much like her fathers. Except her father always stated that his hands were stained with blood that only he could see, it was when his father drowned into his woe’s. But it was nice; nice to just be able to talk to someone and it wasn’t filled with overcoming sadness or the need to be drowned in alcohol. Stepping forwards, she looped her fingers around the roll of wallpaper. “I think it’ll be fitting for your apartment.” Her tone gently as her eyes ran over it. It was slightly lighter, to contrast the black of his walls and good quality of paper too. “I think it’s why I adore spending time with children, their biggest worry is their knee’s being scraped and life is beautiful for them because everything is new and full of life.” She sighed in contentment. Turning to him slightly, a light smile washed over her features. “I like to decorate when I’m not dancing, it’s calming strangely.” She chuckled. “I’m Vanessa, it’s lovely to meet you, Brody.”

Such grace in such young woman was a rarity to stumble upon and there was something unearthly to the way she moved. Certain people emitted certain auras many felt drawn towards, but yet they couldn’t explain what it was. An X factor would be a popular term, but Brody preferred ‘genuine’. There was something pure about softspoken individuals and among so many tainted souls, the man felt refreshed by the whiff of wind, a breeze that was Vanessa.

“I do see where you’re coming from. I remember, even back when I was only twenty, wishing to go back in my youngest of age. I was undemanding, grateful and simple – but even kids have changed today. I don’t think they have the luxury of growing up the way I did, outdoors, with friends.” The temptation of electronics has only grown over the time, addictions have blossomed, and everyone seemed more nervous, tense...kids now behaved as if their problems equaled ones of adults, lost their innocence too soon. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, after all. “I do sound like an old man now, don’t I?” Like a parent, too. He couldn’t really say that not having kids was his biggest regret, because he didn’t have a choice, but he wished to have successfully checked that segment of life too. “You are the one who’s lovely, Vanessa. I can tell that you’re a dancer – you move far too gracefully. Is it something you do professionally or? Am I going to see you in a ballet, perhaps?”

[brody-davis-blog]

veralawson:

“I’m the funniest girl in Boston so you should stop avoiding me and start seeing me more often” She told him, half joking half serious. She liked to think she understood his reasons, but that didn’t mean she liked them. Vera was the kind of person who felt really comfortable around people, and even when she didn’t see Brody often, every time they met, she felt like it had been yesterday the last time they talked, so it only made sense for her to push him a little, remind him that she was there for him and that he should stop pushing her away all the time. “You’re just such a grandpa, Davis” She added rolling her eyes.

“You seem to know a lot about these stuff” She observed, wondering what he had experienced to have this wisdom over the subject. Maybe she should push him a little and be more curious, scoop around his personal story a little more. “It would work, but would you really believe me if I promised you that? I mean, if it makes you feel better, I could just hack your ip and see who you message and I could find your clients ips by my own, and even more than that… But I don’t do it because you’re you, so I guess this would be a test for your trust and you should just hope and pray I keep my word, but we would both know I’m not good at that” She warned him as she rambled. “One year, really?” She asked trying not to sound surprised. Brody was attractive and when you met him he was a really fun guy to hang out with. “Isn’t that a little creepy though? Specially for a guy that hasn’t had any action in a year? I’m not sure I want to give you any material” She joked.

“I promise, I’ll try to work on that. And I always keep my promises.” There were other ways of protecting Vera but avoiding her, there must’ve been – he couldn’t live like this anymore. No way he couldn’t find a middle ground. She had the brains and he had muscle; that should work together, shouldn’t it? He didn’t have many people in his life, but the blonde was one of the most important to him and he was grateful for how understanding she is to his whims and worries.

She had a point; he wasn’t a trusting person, and the fact that Vera was saying all this made him even more doubtful. It was nothing personal – he would’ve doubted his mother if she was alive now, after everything he’s gone through. But...”I need to put my trust into someone or I’ll go crazy. I don’t even trust myself.” In fact, he trusted himself the least, often even thought of himself as of root of all problems. He knew it was a mental state he needed to work on, and he is taking baby steps in that direction. “I don’t message my clients. They have assigned addresses only they, government and their assigned protectors know – and yeah, people like you, who can hack Pentagon. But I do believe that there aren’t many and country’s system is more secure than that. It surely can’t be broken by any programmer, right?” He would never do anything to endanger people he’s supposed to protect, and he wondered if mentioning this was a good idea but then again, Vera couldn’t have had malicious intentions, could’ve she? A voice in the back of his head said ‘You never know’ and he hated doubting people he loved. But again...”Says the creep who asked first. Double standards everywhere!”

[brody-davis-blog]

alicexwalker:

Alice let her eyes explore the other male a little more. As if to really see who he was in a way. But Alice was more of a person to get to know someone rather than placing a personality to them beforehand. “Well, speaking from a colour preference perspective, you did seem a little.. dark” Alice said with a quirk of the edges of her lips. 

“Lucky for you I tend to stay as far away as I can from initial judgements. And besides, I like surprises” Alice smiled, with a sense of light in her eyes. She did like surprises, and this guy was definitely one of them. He hadn’t really seemed to different from the rest, to be completely honest, when she’d first seen him. But he had a way to himself that kind of let on that there was a bigger picture behind what he first let on. “I’m glad to hear it. You’d be surprised as to how many ask for an opinion and then get defensive because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.” She said in a light voice. There had been numerous occasions when Alice shared her view and collectors, artists, and critics glanced down at her telling her she was wrong. The taller male didn’t seem like that, he seemed more open in a way. Like he actually would take her words in, following them or not, at least he’d listen. “You know, I’m going to keep you to that. You’d be surprised as to how often a short person is in need of a few extra inches when it comes to length, you really don’t know it until you’ve lived it.” Especially when it came to Alice, being short and having ideas that seemed to reach the stars was definitely a struggle. “Alice.” She introduced herself, taking Brody’s hand in a handshake with a light, warm smile on her face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hey-“ his voice flew an octave higher, as if the dark comment had offended him, but it was more than obvious by his expression that he was faking the sentiment rather than being affected by it “I’m plenty colorful apart from that apartment.” He tried to think of an example in addition, but nothing really rang a bell. There was a big colorful surfboard in his bedroom, if that counted for something, even if he hadn’t used it in forever.

“I make mean cupcakes – does that count as surprising?” his lips widened, revealing one of those shark-like grins of his. Only recently had he experimented with food colorings and allowed himself to get creative with decorations, so they were a little sloppy, sure – but not bad for an amateur baker. Well, he was more of a cook rookie, but...besides the point. “I guess I’m an easy customer. I don’t have preset expectations, so you can’t disappoint me. Well, I do have the expectation of getting everything done in one try, because you know, ‘in my age’ time’s of great importance” He couldn’t resist making a grandpa joke, a side effect of having Vera for a friend. “One of my ex’s was 5’4’’ – I’ve seen the struggle. Even though I think she faked a few times, to make me feel more masculine after that one time I failed to open the jar and she succeeded. But that’s because I loosened it up and then she...you know...” he waved it off, obviously joking. “The pleasure’s all mine. I’m really glad we met – I should get going, I’ve got some work to do, but I hope we run into each other some time.”

[brody-davis-blog]

erikanazaripeters:

So much for not being a therapist. This was one of the reasons that Erika only had brief affairs and short friendships. People were so often consumed by trivial matter; things that they couldn’t change nor see coming. It was messy, time consuming and drained her off energy. Perhaps there was something fundamentally wrong with her, a glitch in her hardware, but she had always been able to let go off things with ease. She was a short stop, a background character, but it didn’t bother her. She picked up a lemon balm and shuffled it into her already full arms before making her way back to the counter to place it all in front of him. She had even snapped up a bag of chamomile tea though it wasn’t technically something he had required. “I use the word good because that is generally what people strive for,” she informed him with a faint smile. “There is no such thing as a good or bad person. If you continue to put people in those categories, you’ll never find anything but sorrow. This is lemon balm, put a leaf in your tea. It reduces anxiety and stress,” she tapped the plant with a fingertip. “It’s not issues, by the way, it’s your brain. Thoughts and feelings, if fed, can easily attatch themselves to you. Imagine birds circling above your head and if allowed, they’ll make a nest inside and never leave because you keep feeding them. Instead of living, you are letting your thoughts consume you. It’s not someone else’s job to make you better. You understand that, right? People have their own birds to cater to. You change by allowing yourself to grow. Try new things even when it’s against your better judgement and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Nothing’s going to get better if you don’t shoo the birds away.”

His mother used to say how morals were a relative and world was more of a gray than a black and white zone. If she was alive, she wouldn’t have liked the way he threw verbal absolutes around, but she wasn’t – and the fact that she wasn’t has shaped him into a completely opposite person from her. There were maternal qualities to this woman and it was equally annoying as it was helpful. Annoying mostly because she rendered him even more speechless than he is by default; because he agreed that she was right, although...”Easier said than done.” His brows furrowed at the sight of the plant, because he wasn’t stressed or anxious, was he? He thought of himself as of a melancholic person, above all and that seemed contradictive to her diagnosis. Still, he reached for his wallet; after wasting her time like this and making her step into the role that this job didn’t require of her, he’d feel guilty if he didn’t buy something. “I understand that. But I’ve been raised in belief that helping people get better elevates one and in my opinion, it’s a belief that should be commonly shared for the sake of better world. There are some things you shouldn’t have to go through alone, and it’d be better if someone helped you...and if you aren’t ready to do that for others, why would you expect for anyone to aid you?” He gave it a shoulder shrug, not really digging the idea of feeling guilty for expecting others to help him. Yes, everybody had their own problems, but to him, every human had a role in society and they should be more than just self-centered. “But thank you for the advice, you did more than you’re obligated to...I...” I’ll try, to do new things, he wanted to say – but he felt he’d already stepped over the line with the direction of their conversation. “Anyway, how much? For the whole thing?” he meant the tarot reading too. Just because he didn’t believe in it, it didn’t make what she did any less valuable.

[brody-davis-blog]

veralawson:

“That’s actually really nice from you, and I bet you have the patience to have an older dog who is already used to do things in a certain way” She liked people like Brody who thought about the things that no one else did. Anyone who thought about adopting a pet would think of puppies, but here Brody was, thinking of those that everyone forgot. “You mean you ninety year old souls, grandpa” She joked, because in her eyes, Brody was just the right age and she would never call him old, or well, she would, but never really meaning it. “It’s obvious that you’ve thought about it, who would have known that you actually spent your time like that and not just thinking about your good times during world war I?” She continued with her jokes.

“Wait, so you weren’t willing to give your best in our first date? Shame on you! I kinda dressed up and everything, bringing my A game just for a stranger and now I found out you’re being lazy” She complained, although she was completely exaggerating her words. “I wouldn’t know, I dated the same guy for the past two years and I was happy with just cuddling in front of the tv. I’m too easy too impress so I guess I don’t require much. But everything you mentioned sounds pretty nice to me and I think it’s always appreciated by any girl. Come on, do that to any girl and their panties will drop to the floor” She assured him. “And I can also track all the internet activity so if one of your kids try to fool you, I’d know” She added, sure that he would also like to know that she could do that. “Have we reached the point where we start sharing techniques and comparing bedrooms notes?” She asked with a chuckle after he talked. 

Patience was an adequate word for describing him; if only people were more patient with each other, if they didn’t give up on important things so easily, world would be such a better place. Vera’s appreciation of his intentions only made him keener towards doing it, and procrastinator in him felt energized on the matter of adoption, deciding that he’ll look upon it by the end of this week even. “Ha-ha.” Brody dragged out sarcastically; eyes squinting in blonde’s direction. “Aren’t you a funny one, Lawson? And please, you know I’m the laziest guy in this whole planet, don’t act all shocked and surprised.” It wasn’t even a joke; he was practically a slow loris unless his job demanded dynamics out of him. Guess it’s a grandpa thing.

“That’s probably why it lasted for two years. Complex things never really do work out.” Like his relationship with Catherine. With her job and alcoholism and constant need to live a nomadic life, not to mention the temperament and fights over everything – and even though he never really got tired of it, never was bothered that much by it, it was clear from the start that it didn’t have a future. Not a stable one that most people dreamt of, at least. He’d only attempted romancing her once, went all out too, and she laughed at him. To be precise, she said ‘Oh, silly boy, what are you doing? I’m not your darling.’ Fun times. And yet...he loved her. “I’m not allowed to give out identities of my witnesses but would it work if I gave you their IP addresses and phone numbers and you promised you’d never look into their information? Just use it...to monitor their activities?” He was particularly concerned about Shiloh and really needed to keep an eye on her calls and internet searches and what not. Lowering the glass on the table, he reached for the cutlery and started cutting into his meal “I don’t think I’d be of much use. The last time I had any was like a year ago, which feels like eons ago. I am not above picking someone up casually at this point; I’ve gotten tired of feeling sorry for myself and dreaming of someone else fulfilling my domestic dream. But you can give me deets on your sex life, I’m all ears” he sold her one of his Cheshire grins.  

[shilohbarnes]

Lifeline || Shiloh and Brody

[brody-davis-blog]

shilohbarnes:

She knew deep down that Davis was right, of course. He didn’t have to speak to her like this. Socialization was uncomfortable for him in general, but he made efforts on Shiloh’s behalf and they didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. She just didn’t know how to express her gratitude sometimes…other times she was merely afraid to. The patter of claws against hardwood distracted the female, her border collie puppy waking up from an evening nap and nosing his way into the room. Shiloh bent down and whistled to him, but he made a beeline right for Brody, putting his little paws up on the man’s knees, tails wagging. “Traitor,” Shiloh muttered, only half serious as she rose, crossing her arms. Foresaking the glass she’d poured, she moved to sit in a chair across from the two males, taking a swig directly from the wine bottle itself.

“No I didn’t talk to them…what kind of idiot do you think I am?” she shot back with a glowering tone and facial expression. Because of how persistent the group after her was, the best move to make had been to fake Skylar’s death. Everyone who had known her in New York thought they had buried her in the ground. “Hey mom, hey dad, I’m calling you from the beyond…no…that would have just freaked them out. I called when I knew they weren’t home…I just…wanted to hear the greeting message on the answering machine. That’s all.”

Her eyes bore holes into the carpet by her feet, face going dark, voice numb and her tone almost a whisper. “There’s one problem with your feel good mumbo jumbo about tectonic plates. Pangea broke up and that was tragic, but those plates kept moving until they realigned….in witsec it…from this side of things…you don’t keep moving Davis, you stop. Everything stops. Yeah I wake up…I go to work…I chat with people I interact…but it’s all superficial. I don’t have friends, I don’t have family…anyone I did have to get close to…I’d have to lie to them…everything we build a relationship on would be false. And that’s not…that’s not fair to anyone, I can’t do that to good people who deserve real connections with real human beings…I don’t…I don’t even feel like a person anymore. How does that get better? How does any of that get better?”

Partially, his decision to adopt a dog of his own had been influenced by Shiloh’s collie. Here he’d learn the extent of canine love and it never ceased to amaze him, how animals could display so much more joy upon seeing a person than a human ever could. “Hey, little guy.” Brody’s voice softened as if by default, almost cooing in its gentleness. Then again, this little guy didn’t mind his sulkiness, didn’t depend off of his honesty and openness. Humans were a little more demanding than dogs” He couldn’t resist placing both of his hands under the collie’s ears, giving him a scratch here and there to earn himself more cheerful yapping. Ignoring the way dog’s paws crunched the newspapers under them, he leaned in a little, earning himself a big lick across his face “Thanks, buddy, that’s just what I needed. A big, wet, showery kiss.” He couldn’t but chuckle, losing himself there for a moment before returning to Shiloh.

If anyone else was in his place, they’d scold her for her attempts, but he understood. It was easier to him not to crave for remains of his past because he knew they couldn’t be retrieved. Everyone he k new was dead. But after his ‘date’ with Vera, with whom he’d lost touch and they once used to be best friends, he found himself ridden with guilt for not having exploited that relationship more, found himself craving her company more often. Things that couldn’t be brought back were easier to make peace with, there was no temptation – but Shiloh still had family, and to be with them again must’ve seemed like a choice away, because it was. But it would be a bad choice. “Well, no harm no foul.” He decided to ignore her misdeed and let her get away with this one, because she needed it.

Every word of hers was like a nail being sledge hammered further into his heart; oh how he could empathize and sympathize. Not a day ago he’d tried to rope a stranger into being his therapist because he needed all this Shiloh craved for, and he wondered if two people alike could find comfort in each other. The guilt of burdening another with his issues still followed him, keeping him a little fearful in his intention of possibly sharing with the brunette, but he just had to shoo he birds away...”I know how you feel. I don’t have any of it either and I can’t form connection with people if I have to lie to them about the way I live. I can’t tell them about this, and whether I want it or not, it’s a big part of my life. Telling them would endanger you and everyone I’m trying to protect – so I don’t tell. You don’t have to lie, you just don’t tell. I’ve found that half truths work well...you even start believing them after a while. Like remembering some good times of your life; each time you remember, your mind adds something new, and in ten or twenty years, it might not even be the same memory anymore.”

His hands stilled in the dog’s fur and the collie changed his direction, going off to Shiloh for a cuddle “Everything you build relationships on wouldn’t be false. You’re still you, it’s just a different name. You still had a childhood, a family, friends – you can’t say where they’re now or why you’re here, but location of your family or what someone has done to you to force you here doesn’t define you. It has affected you, maybe even changed you a little, but those are just circumstances. You’re still you.” He remembered that this is exactly how Ava too roped him into opening up. Most vulnerable people always know how to be most human and appear most good and innocent, which is something he’s stopped believing in – and that might’ve as well have brought the standard of his living down. This is what he lived for; people like Shiloh. “Everyone has secrets. You just...change your perspective, day by day, baby steps. It requires constant effort and it gets hard, but once you succeed - that’s it; nothing can truly set you back. You are a person and a wonderful one – don’t make excuses that keep you away from sharing that with world.” Wow, that was like most words he’s ever said.

[brody-davis-blog]

erikanazaripeters:

( brody-davis. )

A flicker of shame licked at his insides, like a cold river stream running through his veins; he hadn’t meant to do…whatever seemed to offend the woman. His best guess, based on the therapist remark, was unloading his burdens on her; as vague as he was trying to be, he seemed to have failed at establishing a somewhat personal and normal contact. “I apologize.” He lowered his head as the brunette drifted elsewhere, taking the cards with her. This time he was able to quench his curiosity and stay in character, because she was right; he didn’t come here as a patient, or a friend, but as a customer. It was no excuse either, that he wasn’t familiar with the shop’s nature, so he didn’t try to justify himself. Before he could even utter a sound past his parted lips, she stole words from his mouth. He wanted to say ‘I’m not necessarily sure they /are/ good’ and then, cards away, she read his mind. It did only confirm his doubts about this being more of a person than supernatural skill, but it corrected his opinion of her too. Upgraded it, that is. She was obviously wise; that was his one impression. “Maybe that’s because the coward has been burned one too many times in what life of his has passed. I can’t tell if change is worth the risk. If it’s better to watch the rest of time pass by, or to dare and have it colored just to end up getting burned again.” He couldn’t resist; this was beyond limits he had set for himself, but he felt strong need to justify himself from such strong words she tried to slay him back with.

When Erika was younger, her intuitive knowledge; noticing the quirks and reading into the words and their true meaning, scared her. She hadn’t enjoyed knowing the things that people hid behind lies and diversion. But now she had made a living out of it so the fact that she had been right didn’t surprise her. Very little did these days. She threw him a glance over her shoulder as she came to a halt in front of her herbs, both already growing and blooming ones, but seeds too. Erika knew one thing; people who were satisfied with the way they were living their life felt no need to argue it. Slender hands ghosted over the green leaves and flower petals, smooth and pretty to look at. Plants had many good attributes and so did he, most likely. “Who decides that? You? What if getting burned is a part of your journey, what if it’s meant to bring you where you’re supposed to end up? You can only live this life once, what good will it do you to live in the shadows?” She spoke absent-mindedly, like she often did, but had no intention of upsetting or offending him. It was serious questions that she couldn’t wrap her head around. “You get burned, you heal and you move on. You’ll never find out what’s out there for you if you insist on living in the past.”

Despite the dark interior of his home, he was drawn to bright lively colors of nature like a moth to a flame and the green in woman’s hands caught his attention. Those must be the herbs he’d asked for; though, he was never really precise and he wondered what she’d decided to give him. Based on what did she make her decision. It was obvious that she had an idea of who he is, what he’s like – her opinion, and he wondered how someone like her depicted him as. She was right, living in shadows would bring him no good but maybe it’d prevent him from losing what little good he had or obtaining more bad. And only as that thought skimmed past his mind did he realize just how paranoid he’d gotten. Maybe, what if...his life was brought down to staying alive and he was concerned about it getting worse. To some, death would be better but Brody was a hedonist. And how funny was that, a hedonist living like this. “That’s a good point.” He mumbled more to himself than the other. He wasn’t too prideful, but it did bug him slightly how this girl who didn’t even know him, who met him like five minutes ago, managed to shake up his entire being in a way no one could for two decades. “I...” he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to tell her what his issue was, but...but...but no buts. “You always say that word: good. I don’t believe in it. Everyone I thought was good is gone, because people are not good. I want to let someone in, so things get better...but if I don’t believe in someone being capable of good, how can they make me better?” Remembering that ‘I’m not your therapist’ remark, he quickly added “Don’t answer that. I’m doing it again...you’d probably say that the issue is in my beliefs then. And you’d probably be right. And I still wouldn’t know how to start changing them.” Brody was never good with theory; he needed something practical, something concrete, something...doable right away. If he slept over this, if he started from tomorrow, he’d fail, he knew it. He’d give up. He needed to do things now. 

[brody-davis-blog]

veralawson:

“Hey, maybe we can get a good deal, you know, two wackos for the price of one or something like that” Vera suggested, knowing that even when they had more than enough reasons to visit a therapist, they were fine just as they were. After all, who wanted to open their heart to a stranger just to hear them saying everything that is wrong with you? Vera could certainly find someone to do that for free. “Find a good one, not one that barks all night or I’ll have to kill you and your dog in your sleep, although if it’s not me, it would certainly be Tyler the cop” She talked about her other neighbor, the one that hated her for being so loud. When the waiter returned with their food, she just stared at it, not understanding anything he had said. But it looked like chicken and she really liked it… or was it fish?

“I don’t know anything about fancy drinks, please, I’m beer kind of girl” She explained, impressed my his words and even when he didn’t know anything about it, as he just recognized, he totally could have fooled her. “You make it sound like a torture, you know? Watching a movie at work, it’s not too bad, I wish I could do that, but well, I kinda do, Netflix is my best friend” Specially since she worked with computers all day. “You know, I forgot to tell you but I was going to offer yo my services, you know, deleting a person’s trace on the internet is not easy unless you know what to do” And Vera certainly could do that and make sure there was no way to find someone, at least not online. “Bullshit, guys get hotter with age while girls just get uglier” She rolled her eyes at the unfair reality “For love, then, because it can ruin even the best of us” Okay, maybe she wasn’t being too optimistic but it was what she thought.

An almost inaudible chuckle bubbled at his throat as he shook his head at his and Vera’s obscenities. Maybe they are a perfect therapist material. “I’ll probably get an adult Rhodesian ridgeback. Puppies find homes easily, so I’m more inclined towards older dogs. You know, us older souls...” he reminded of his ticking clock again. He might feel unbothered by it, but the topic did know to cross his mind every now and then, so there must be something more to it there – a subconscious worry, perhaps. Then again, maybe he made a great therapist himself, when inspired that is. “They’re not much of barkers. Kind of more oriented towards couch cuddles, which is funny once you know they’re the hunting outdoor, pack-protector kind of breed. I did my research, can’t you tell.” It wasn’t just a whim of his, this adoption; he wanted to make his life richer and this seemed like the most fulfilling and realistic way to accomplish it.

“How old fashioned of me. It’s like I knew they’d set me up with you, because this-...” he looked around them, this setting and everything. “-isn’t what I’d usually do. I’d probably arrange a boat for a lake picnic – for which I’d personally prepare food. Lots of candles and flowers and hopelessly romantic stuff. Stuff that girls today call cheesy. Hold a stereo playing a romantic song under woman’s window...that was pretty popular when I was in my best years. What do men who date do nowadays?” He figured, it would do him well to know, but still, if he was to find a woman of his age than he could be just as fine. Brody’s brow arched at the business offer “Sounds as close to a staged death as it can get. I have no doubts in my mind I’ll require it sooner or later.” Not for himself, of course – he couldn’t see what that’d be useful for, but his clients...maybe they wouldn’t require constant surveillance if they could be given a strong promise of fresh start. Unless they were as unlucky as him, of course. After their glasses clanked in the air, he brought his to his lips and tasted the liquor “For the record, that’s just a matter of perspective. Men like older women just much as it the other way around. You women are just too critical of yourselves. I wouldn’t mind being ruined by the older woman.” Producing the clicking sound with his tongue offing against his palate, he winked at Vera with a lopsided sneer on his lips.

[brody-davis-blog]

erikanazaripeters:

A little nod, jaws sharp and plum lips shut in response. Erika had come across a lot of people who didn’t believe that what she did was real. In a sense they were right too; she couldn’t read minds nor predict the future, but still, she had satisfied customers who came for readings on a regular basis. Not because she promised them a quick fix but because she approached their problems and question from a different point of view. She gave them a chance to see their needs from a different angle, she gave them access to both hope and strength they already possessed but didn’t know they can channel. And then, of course, there were the non-believers who thought she manipulated people for money. She was a selfish, sometimes manipulative, woman but she felt no need to mess up people’s lives further. Life was already messy as is. “You’ve mistaken me for a therapist,” she gathered the cards with a swoop of her hand and began shuffling them again. Her shop wasn’t there to amuse skeptic men. “All I did was read the card you picked, you’re a man of principles and habits. If things are good, why do we need to change the way we do them, right? Except, maybe…” Erika put her deck back and rounded the counter so she could access the herbs in the other end of the small shop. “Good isn’t good at all. Good is content. Good is the escape. Good is a coward afraid to get burned by the flames, so consumed by shielding himself that he doesn’t live his life but instead watch it pass by.”

A flicker of shame licked at his insides, like a cold river stream running through his veins; he hadn’t meant to do...whatever seemed to offend the woman. His best guess, based on the therapist remark, was unloading his burdens on her; as vague as he was trying to be, he seemed to have failed at establishing a somewhat personal and normal contact. “I apologize.” He lowered his head as the brunette drifted elsewhere, taking the cards with her. This time he was able to quench his curiosity and stay in character, because she was right; he didn’t come here as a patient, or a friend, but as a customer. It was no excuse either, that he wasn’t familiar with the shop’s nature, so he didn’t try to justify himself. Before he could even utter a sound past his parted lips, she stole words from his mouth. He wanted to say ‘I’m not necessarily sure they /are/ good’ and then, cards away, she read his mind. It did only confirm his doubts about this being more of a person than supernatural skill, but it corrected his opinion of her too. Upgraded it, that is. She was obviously wise; that was his one impression. “Maybe that’s because the coward has been burned one too many times in what life of his has passed. I can’t tell if change is worth the risk. If it’s better to watch the rest of time pass by, or to dare and have it colored just to end up getting burned again.” He couldn’t resist; this was beyond limits he had set for himself, but he felt strong need to justify himself from such strong words she tried to slay him back with.

[brody-davis-blog]

nessa–williams:

Vanessa let out a firm cough as her eyes honed in on the patterned fabric, she couldn’t bring herself to keep his gaze, her eyes were to easy to read. Her mind quickly snapped to realizing he was a male; not that she hadn’t before. But he didn’t want feminine looking wallpaper strewn over his walls like she was likely to have. Notting fingers in the tips of her hair as she concentrated before glancing back to the male. “Nowadays, there a lot I’m not sure about.” She exhaled silently as she spoke, casting him a wiry smile. Placing down the different pieces of paper for a moment before stewing over what would suit the male better. For a ballet dancer, she spent far more time re-decorating her home and her mothers. Attempting to make it sweeter for the last few months. 

She couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at his words. “Trust me, most guys can’t tell the difference in most things this way inclined or clothing.” She managed to muster a small smile onto her cheeks and one that finally met her eyes at that. “Then I’d recommend this as your best bet.” She sung, handing him a small tear of the paper before nodding her head to the rolls of it.  “I guess with time pleasantries are disregarded.” She began. “But sometimes they’re the things we admire. And it sounds stupid and young of me; But the plesantries of others keep me going.”

“Well, there is something comforting about shared uncertainty, if I may say.” It cut off the sense of loneliness, knowing that someone felt the same way he did – and it didn’t mean him being comforted by unhappiness of others, because there was significant difference between unhappiness and uncertainty. If he possessed a gift that could allow him a peak into his future, he most likely wouldn’t use it, because there was something blissful about not knowing. Everyone needed a good, random surprise in their life.

Her fingers were gentle when they met his and he ran the surface of his thumb over the recommended set sample. “I’ll put my trust in you, then.” Which was incredibly and increasingly hard for Brody to do, but at times he favored following his gut over his reason, not that they were in discord at the moment. Something was telling him that putting his trust in her could do him well, and besides, what harm could a wallpaper choice do. “I don’t think that’s stupid of you. Older people tend to rapidly forget what life was like when they were younger, they forget how many smart choices they’ve made that made them the people they are. Youth isn’t foolish at all; in fact, I believe it’s most fruitful of all ages.” Somehow, a complete stranger had managed to get him talkative and that was miraculous. “Thank you for this – you are very good at what you do. Pleasantries included. And I’m Brody, by the way.”

[brody-davis-blog]

erikanazaripeters:

“Bad luck is a state of mind,” she waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. It wasn’t something she believed in. Luck in itself was a way to describe things you couldn’t quite explain; the universe’s pull on you. Bad luck, however, was only a state of mind. All luck was good luck if Erika had a say in the matter. Sometimes it didn’t benefit you the way you wanted it to, but that didn’t mean it didn’t get you where you needed to go; universe had its way of keeping you on your path even if you had no idea that you were supposed to be on that path. Her eyes flickered over the card he picked before she turned it over for him. He had picked it, that was all that mattered. “The Hierophant,” she explained with amusement to her voice. It fit him like a glove. “You are in need of spiritual consolation or advice, whether you know it or not, someone or immediate events will provide practical guidance. Though you desire logic and reason, tried and tested traditional values so it seems like a wiser approach than adopting the unconventional.”

Attempted humor on the admission of his discordance with luck fell flat with the woman’s counterargument, and it efficiently wiped the smile off his face. If he was any younger, he would possibly be annoyed by the witty, picture perfect response this girl had on every trouble of his, but in no time would he step into the fifth decade of his life and he knew that if he wanted to change something, he didn’t have much time to act upon his intentions. It would be easier just to give up, but Brody didn’t feel as old as the wrinkles around his eyes made him out to be; he still believed there was a lot for him to see. His good faith in better tomorrow was stronger than in better people and that had to count for something too, right? Maybe she was right, but still, his past was traumatic enough to keep him in fear of engaging himself in any overly ambitious emotional endeavors. Fear; there was nothing as crippling. Fairly quickly did he realize what was going on here; he was being given a tarot reading. He’d seen this stuff in tv shows, like Mentalist, and he never quite believed in it. He thought the cards were bullshit; it’s how the reader observed their customer that mattered. These pictures on them, these labels, they were vague enough and offered explanations that could be applicable to any situation –and if somebody wanted to believe in it, they could find it fitting if only they tried hard enough. “That’s sounds unhelpful.” He didn’t know anyone who could offer him spiritual mambo jambo, but she seemed like a fitting role to fill out those shoes and that seemed like she was just attempting to sell him her business. Still, he was interested enough to go on. “So, you could provide me practical guidance? Although that seems everything but traditional. You don’t even know me. We don’t even know each other’s names.”