Some things I was thinking about Spike kind of recently: We see Spike fight for and win the restoration of his soul, and it’s a first step toward becoming a better man. Buffy sees his potential, she understands what he’s done, and she believes in him. She doesn’t expect him to be instantly changed completely (but, judging from some fans’ complaints, they do???), but she knows he’s on a good path and that he doesn’t want to be what he was, and that’s good enough for her. Some fans complain that when he materializes in Angel, he reverts to some of his old, pre-soul ways, especially in terms of how he treats women, and see this as invalidating any argument that Spike changed because he had a soul. I’m about to argue that that’s a simplistic, reductive understanding of Spike and what he’s been though - especially if we’re going to make the claim that part of what we like so much about this show is the complexity of its characters. I think the answer to these “backslides” lies in Spike’s own impostor syndrome, and lack of support from those around him - as often happens to real people in real life. You’ve heard of addicts falling off the wagon, even after years of sobriety, right? I think this is kind of similar. Think also about how hard it is to change a reputation, and even when you’re different now, it’s hard to live up to that when no one believes you and it seems like they’re even out to undermine you. Had Spike materialized with the Scoobies instead of Wolfram and Hart, I think he would have been better off. They saw or at least have firsthand knowledge of his sacrifice. They may have been dubious about the changes he made before, but this would have seriously raised his stock with them, even with Giles and Xander. They may still give him some shit here or there, but it would certainly turn the tables in terms of people not automatically expecting the worst of him all the time. Instead, he lands at Wolfram and Hart. Spike had looked up to Angelus in the days of mayhem, and Angelus had screwed him over and really disrespected him. Ensouled Angel isn’t much better, especially now that they both want Buffy’s affections. Now that Spike is likewise ensouled, Angel sees Spike as even more of a rival - not just in terms of Buffy, but also in terms of being special, being a champion who’ll save the world, etc. Every single thing Angel does and says to Spike is with the intent of undermining and marginalizing him, in order for Angel to feel all better about himself. Even in Spike’s pre-vampire life he was treated like shit by people, and then there’s that whole fucked up thing with his mom. That’ll do a number on your head. Now think of what that must do to Spike. It’s like having the dad or some other key person in your circle telling you you’ll never amount to anything, and no matter how hard you try, nobody sees it. In fact, out of that whole Wolfram and Hart bunch, Fred was really the only one who treated him with respect and saw him for who and what he really was. But she was just one person, and while she had a positive impact on Spike, what he really needed was community support. He likely would’ve had that with the Scoobies. Then there’s the thing about where, once Spike’s corporeal, he grabs Harmony without consent, makes sexual advances at her, and so forth. Not gonna lie - I agree that it’s not okay. What I will say about that, though, is that Wolfram and Hart was toxic for Spike - both in terms of how it was inherently toxic for everyone, and in terms of it being like sending a recovering addict to hang out at a crack house. If we think of Spike’s transition into ensouled life as a recovery period, we understand that it’s still pretty early in his recovery, and without support, it’s not much of a stretch to imagine that he’d slip into old ways. As a side note, having taken classes on the psychology of sexuality including sex crimes, I learned that in New Zealand they’ve had a lot of success reducing recidivism among those who commit sex crimes because they don’t shame the perpetrators the way they do here in the US, but rather they use cognitive therapy and reintegrate them into the community and give them the support they need to stay on a good path. Novel idea, huh? I mention this by way of saying that Spike wasn’t hopeless or a liar because of what happened with Harmony. Rather, I’m saying it could have been much, much different if he’d been surrounded by people who believed in him and were invested in him believing in himself. Which brings me to impostor syndrome. You can see it, every time Spike has to prove he’s good enough. Much of his too-cool-for-it attitude is a cover for his vulnerabilities. We also know that in a lot of ways, because of how he’s been treated through his life, he worries that he really doesn’t measure up - it’s just a matter of not letting others find out. Complicate that with almost everyone around him treating him like he’s a scumbag. People tell you something about yourself long enough and often enough, you start to believe it. That’s how abuse works, after all. The thing is, though, in the face of all that, Spike keeps trying. He screws up, but he keeps trying. Also, in the Angel finale where he totally kills it at the open mic poetry reading - THAT was huge, because HE MADE HIMSELF VULNERABLE, and he was accepted. Were it not for having to go fight the Senior Partners, the community at that bar probably would’ve been a great step toward finding a support system outside of the Scoobies and everyone else he knew up to that point. Even more, it was a taste of success at something he was told he was never any good at, and it had nothing to do with impressing Buffy or one-upping Angel. He did it for HIMSELF, and I believe that is a powerful moment that would keep him from backsliding/relapsing into “old” Spike again. Perhaps, if after losing his life to permanently closing the Hellmouth he’d been called William the Brave, there’d be less room for William the Bloody to return, even in those small spaces of time.
