Eternal Retirement (Zhongli x Grief) Angst One-Shot-ish
----------------- (⌐▨_▨) Tw: Angst and trauma
-----------------
Grief.
That was what this mortal feeling was.
Zhongli stared at his hands, sweat dripping down his brow while still stuck in the entanglement of his sheets.
The sun hadn't even risen yet.
"Guizhong…" He hoarsed out into the empty space of his home.
No.
That was not the only name he repeated in his head. Those of his fallen yaksha, his eroded friends, memories he so long even he had forgotten. Left to mourn the feelings they left behind.
A god made of stone.
Nothing but pebbles left skipping in his every breath.
He heaved a sigh, turning to face the open window with a view to the barely waking harbor. Another day to…conquer.
Another day… -*-
"Yes I am very sure she very much would have enjoyed the decorative fans in her wake as well Mrs. Luhoa."
The elderly lady weeded into an already offered tissue that was settled on his desk. Such a useful thing the mortals had created. Thin but disposable handkerchiefs.
Zhongli would have rumbled in contentment if he did not have to focus back to the costumer in front of him. Hu Tao was more than likely already on her day off to wander about while he assumed position not only as consultant but partial director.
The elder woman had recently lost her adventurous daughter to the steep cliffs of Liyue.
His yaksha wasn't to guard the death of every citizen, especially when the cause was their own volition…
'Perhaps Barbatos had a point-'
Zhongli immediately erased the blasphemous thought from his head holding in his huff of pride. He let his thoughts linger too for too long.
"I'll see to it that your daughter has the beautiful send off she deserves."
With that, all his appointments were done for the day. He was free to roam the streets of Liyue Harbor.
Perhaps he would try making dinner at home today…
-*-
"Ah hah, Mr.Zhongli, it's a pleasure to have you as always. What will it be this time? Almonds and milk as per usual?"
Dongsheng was the local street vendor of Second Life goods in Liyue. It wasn't too far away from Wamin. He had already stopped there for ham. He could just order out…
It wasn't like he needed food…
'That's not very mortal like.'
Zhongli mentally chided himself. Determined to experience human life.
This was what he wanted.
…
Or so he repeated in his head.
"Just rice and ham today, sir."
-*-
Normally, his days were filled with unruptured peace.
The silence to numb the ache in his chest.
Today was apparently not such a day for this six-thousand year old being.
'It must be erosion to come for me again…'
"Ah."
The rice was burnt. How could he be so careless?
'Truly, the schemes of erosion have come to soften this old mountain to a hill…'
Zhongli grumbled about the waste as he threw out the burnt rice and turned to season at least what he had left of his meal.
"Salt."
The devastation that the goddess of salt faced. Ended by the hands, she so protected.
Zhongli stared at his hands for a moment.
He let his mind linger…
Just for a moment longer.
'Just a moment…'
-*-
"Just a moment, please…"
Another person lost. Such is the way of life. To live and die, rebirth and creation. Another day at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
It would not be wise to say that to a father who had just lost his wife and child to the brutality of natural births.
The lack of tears on an obviously distraught man.
Silence.
Just the blank look of despair.
"We have a two for one deal sir! That way you may visit them both! Two birds with one stone, is it not?!"
The director always had the perfect choice of words. So much so that Zhongli was pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Director Hu, I believe there is a customer waiting for you in the lobby of the parlor."
"But-"
Zhongli simply gave her a polite smile and she was already out of his office by the time he lifted his head.
"I apologize, sir-"
The blank look flickered with a smearing rage upon the man's face.
"MY WIFE IS DEAD AND-"
Zhongli took the blunt of the man's rage, obviously grief is processed in many different ways. Anger was only a part of it.
Was Zhongli ever angry?
…
Or had that candle long since burnt out?
Zhongli slid the tissues across his desk as the man finally started breaking down in his office.
Just another day…
-*-
"Guizhong, forgive me…"
Zhongli whispered into the darkness of his current mortal room. The moon was much too bright.
"I'm sorry my old friend…"
No tears.
"Azhdaha…"
Silence.
"Harvia."
Just that choking feeling rising in his gut again but never meeting the maker of its cause.
"Indarias."
Thousands of years of just…this.
"Menogias."
Zhongli stared at his hands.
The hands that tore into his past, present, and future. Blood and life seen through the eyes of every finger. Like flashing colors and swirling winds. Their faces all smiling down on him like yesterday was just moments ago.
What was left was just dust.
Just-
…
No.
Not even dust was left…
-*-
Sitting at a table with the perfect view of the harbor below. The harbor him and many built.
The harbor many would still never see-
"Oh, come now blockhead, why the long face?"
Barbatos smiled with booze in hand as per usual of this deviant's behavior. At least he was sane enough to bring osmanthus wine.
Zhongli held back his grumbling as he sipped on his cup silently.
"My face is perfectly proportioned, thank you. Some could say it was chiseled from Rex Lapis' gracious hands himself." Zhongli smirked to himself.
Barbatos snorted before breaking out in full out laughter. "And when did you learn to make jokes, huh, old lizard?"
Zhongli set down his cup. The porcelain tink of it echoing against the wood as he looked out to the harbor below.
"Some things are learned with time…Venti." He gently swirled the wine in his cup, flickering his gaze down in a baited pause.
…
Yes.
Time had passed.
How much time had passed?…
"Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember… but where are those-"
"Who share the memory. Yes…" Venti finished the sentence for him with a sympathetic gentle gaze. The bard god looked off into the stars.
"It seems that only us two are left, huh, old blockhead?"
Zhongli lifted his drink.
The two clinked cups.
"So it seems…"