I am sick and tired of being the good, shy, and timid girl that everyone wants me to be. I have no friends and people avoid hanging out with me because i'm too plain. I want to become a ride or die girl that everyone loves! I just don't know where to start. Any advice?
First, allow yourself to be how you are. Feel how it is to be you, what in you needs attention? Fear? Unease? That sick and tired feeling? Go into those and feel them, give them your attention. They seem to have your attention, give it to the consciously. Try to see that the way you were taught to be, isn’t how you have to be. Notice when fear comes in and keeps things trapped in you and push against that fear. Expand into that fear. That fear will lead you to where you think you need to be.
The truth is, underneath how you are now that you don’t like and how you think you should be to be happy, you’re fine. You’re fine exactly how you are and changing your place in the social world will simply change a surface part of you. In the end, there is nothing you can add to yourself to make yourself better or worse than you are, you are simply whole and complete now. You can mess with the surface aspects of you and change things, go into this fear you have of being bad and not worthy and you can change aspects of that surface reality. But try to get in touch with this fact that you are what you seek. You are already complete and validated and just simply here. Breathe and try to sense this within you. If you can get a hold of this, however you are to the outside world, won’t matter as much. Because you already have what you’re seeking in that change of personality. It’s like you go to work for 10$ an hour, but you’re already have a million dollars at home. You work for play and it is less serious when you have touched this unchangeable, deep presence that you already have. In that there is a deep sense that all is well, no matter what and that you are capable of feeling good, whole and complete, no matter what your outer reality is or holds.
I hope this makes some sense and helps on some level.
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tangentwithtanner
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