Chicago Should Let The National Guard Come to My Music Improv Show
The President of the United States continues to threaten to send troops to Chicago, a historically unprecedented move that most of its leaders and residents oppose. Though I understand that this is not a popular opinion, I believe Governor Pritzker should take the president up on his offer and invite the national guard to Chicago to attend my music improv comedy show.
Chicago is in the midst of a crisis and if we sit back and do nothing it may be too late. Audience attendance for music improv continues to slump and without drastic actions, I may never sell out all 42 seats in the Apehouse Cabaret. Without ticket sales I would have to pay the rent myself, as per the lease agreement for my 12-week run of “Jamilton”, making it much less likely I ever produce music improv like this again. This would be a disaster from which the city might never recover, all of which could be avoided by just the low cost of $1.6 million per day to the taxpayer.
People can quote all the statistics that they want about Chicago, but the people living here know the truth. City authorities saying that “music improv attendance has generally improved since the pandemic,” is a cold comfort to anyone who has sat alone in the audience at their friend’s Music Improv Conservatory Showcase on a Thursday night. Ask the young woman who was cornered on the red line by their coworker (me) and forced to commit to attending a matinee performance of Jamilton this Sunday at 3pm if she feels things are getting better. I bet I know what she would say.
Our national guard can answer these calls for Chicago. They volunteered for dangerous situations, such as volunteering for an improvised dream, or having to look me in the eye and tell me “good show” after watching me perform. We must draw on the courage of our troops by asking them to do battle. On stage. With one of our cast members. As they set up and pay off various rhymes during our improvised rap battle game. The suggestion is “banana” and I will be proud to support our troops by beatboxing a SICK beat for them to rap to.
I recognize that this move could set a dangerous precedent. What if future politicians invite the National Guard to attend shows at the Magic Mezzanine? Will supporters of the current administration be so keen on having federal troops in their backyard when those soldiers are under instructions to attend burlesque performances? Do we want to call in the troops every time we have a low turnout at Drag Bingo? I would think not, which is why we need to put up legal safeguards to ensure that this is just a temporary arrangement for them to attend Jamilton: An Improvised Hamilton, for the remaining 11 weeks of our run.
It’s true that when the troops leave, we will be on our own again, but that is no reason for us not to have them attend Jamilton. It just means it will be even more important that we continue their work to correct our city’s historic underinvestment in musical improv. We may not know what the future will hold, but it will be up to us to create it, on the spot, right before your very eyes.
