no closer to heaven

brooklyn smythe. 21. let me destroy your life and break your heart.

[bsmythe-blog1]

allaboutthatbas:

I was trying to be nice and make it seem like I didn’t think you made terrible decision pretty much constantly. I mean hell, look at me. I’m not stupid. I’m a trainwreck most of the time so I can’t judge.

Good. I’m glad. You know how I feel about sickness. And that’s all. I certainly wasn’t worried about you. That would be stupid. 

We’re honestly just the best family in existence. Hot messes. 

Oh, definitely not. Don’t worry, Seba, I didn’t think you were worried at all. Not one bit. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

ffrankienstein:

Hm, wise. Then I can just sell my eyes because I’m not using ‘em and buy my own place.

I don’t think eyes go for that much on the black market. I’d sell a kidney, if you can.

[bsmythe-blog1]

doobiefordylan:

Taking care of you wasn’t the worst way to spend my time. 

Half the time I didn’t even realize you were there, tbh. I really just thought random bottles of water magically appeared by my bed. Shoulda known it was you.

[bsmythe-blog1]

marleynotbob:

So. Annoying. Yeah I did my best to shower since it made me feel slightly better, but honestly standing up for that long was hard during a lot of it. I was basically just a greasy, coughing, sniffly mess for two weeks. It’s probably the city in general. Whatever. I’m just glad to be out of it now.

I may have to try that now. I have a few days off of work and it’d be nice to go through Central Park again. I’m not a huge fan of heights, so I’m not too sure how a roof visit would work.

Right? I forced myself into the shower no matter what, ‘cause I’m the kind of person who never goes more than like, 12 hours without showering. I’m surprised the building didn’t quarantine us together. Might have made being bed-ridden a little more fun, at least. 

Central Park, then. No heights there unless you wanna climb some trees. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

alienfabray:

Wait… Is that why you got sick? You started drinking from a water bottle that wasn’t yours? Or is that how you got rid of the sickness? By like… passing it on? Like that movie my sister did not let me watch. 

Are you okay? If you wanna take random stuff for free you should download this thing called The Skint and it tells you where in the city there’s gonna be free stuff. If you get lucky you can totally go a whole day with free food. And it’s cool hipster stuff, like pizza waffles and black unicorn poop ice cream.

That’s why I got sick, and that’s how another person probably sucked the sickness from my body and into theirs. At least, that’s what I’d like to think. 

... Hm. Definitely interesting. Maybe I’ll drag you and Dylan out for a day of scouring NYC for free stuff with this thing. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

damn-it-dom-hummel:

Shhh, don’t say that so God damn loud. I already find this whole water bottle thing highly suspect, Cougar, and if a rival bitch gang finds out you’re still mentally stuck in bed we’re fucking finished. We gotta find something to counteract it, like 90′s night at the club or some shit.

Fuck, my brain is still mushy from basically not using it for two weeks. Whatever. If a rival bitch gang wants to come for us, let them. I’m back and better than fucking ever, so I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to kick their asses. 90′s night sounds... surprisingly fun. If you insist. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

allaboutthatbas:

And this is why you’re my favorite. You understand me. And more importantly, don’t judge. Finally feeling less gross? Because I do not need to catch whatever you had. But other than that you’re hired. I can pay in not judging any bad choices you may make in life. 

May make? I make bad decisions pretty much 24/7, so I’ll definitely take that as a form of currency. 

Definitely feeling way less gross. Gave it an extra couple of days just to make sure. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

actuallycristxl:

I’m pretty sure it’s your bed I heard complaining last night.

Nope. Must have been something else. Or you’re hearing things, which is probably more likely.

[bsmythe-blog1]

jfccharles:

So what exactly’s going on here? I’m really not tryna end up on some DocuDrama about a bunch of crazies locked up in an apartment complex. 

Basically what this is, so get used to it.

[bsmythe-blog1]

marleynotbob:

Guys, they were not kidding about how bad this flu is this season. For real. I’m not sure how much I’m exaggerating when I say I nearly died. But, I am fully recovered now and, amazingly, little homebody me is actually suffering some major cabin fever and would love to get out of the complex before she returns to her usual work schedule.

Someone please tell me they have something we could do ASAP. I normally don’t ask, but, like, please.

Fucking right? I just spent two weeks basically glued to my bed. I had to get up to shower or else I’d hate myself, but even then I could barely stand. Who the fuck has it out for us? 

I’ve just been getting fresh air, so try that. Walk around Central Park or even just go up to the roof -- it feels good as fuck to not be inside anymore.

[bsmythe-blog1]

allaboutthatbas:

I saw a guy I hooked up with semi-regularly in college while I was out getting coffee this morning. Wasn’t expecting to see him, considering I did not go to school anywhere near here. He had some boring, sad sack boyfriend and a dog and the whole domestic life. What a snooze. But he had the balls to say he felt sorry for me. I don’t know why, because I am clearly living my best life. But apparently I should be married or some shit, I don’t know.

Moral of the story, I really need to go and get laid and get the taste of that boring ass conversation out of my mouth. Any wingmen or women out there willing to go out with me? Now accepting applications. 

Clearly living your best life, Seba. Fuck him. 

You know I’m always down to be your wingwoman.

[bsmythe-blog1]

jocelynchang:

The next time I say yes to helping with the kindergarten-level dance classes, somebody please talk sense into me. It sounded like an easy enough gig until three kids got sick from chugging their apple juice and another somehow ended up with her hair caught in the barre. This all happened before one of them misheard my name and the rest thought it was hilarious, so I spent the rest of the rehearsal being called “Ms. Jason.” I definitely have to give credit to anyone who works with kiddos on a regular basis, because if I did so, I might very well lose my mind.

See, that’s why kids freak me out. How do they manage these kinds of things? I can’t find a way to do that even when I’m drunk and have the motor skills of a kindergartner. 

Props for making it through that.

[bsmythe-blog1]

actuallycristxl:

Unfortunately, the bed doesn’t say the same thing.

Rude. My bed loves me.

[bsmythe-blog1]

ffrankienstein:

Well, this place really is some fancy shit. Feel like I’m gonna break something just by looking at it.

Guess you can’t look at anything, then.

[bsmythe-blog1]

The plague has finally left my body to go find some other poor, unfortunate soul who tends to drink from random bottles of water that they find while they’re drunk and dying of thirst. Can’t say I’ll miss it, but I can say that I’ll miss being in bed almost 24/7. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

doobiefordylan:

Pretty fucked, but you still looked cute. I think that was last year, B.

You’re a bad influence. But it’s okay cos I am too.

I always look cute. I don’t know why we watched it if Lady Gaga wasn’t doing the halftime show. That was dumb of us.

Sleep is great. Nothing bad about it. 

[bsmythe-blog1]

damn-it-dom-hummel:

I just want you to know that I fully recognize that time is of the essence here, and what I’m about to say is truly the most valuable use of it – “no one’s ever had to help me” my ass. Just go through some of the kids’ pockets for some money to get home, or at least closer to home than you are now. They’ll just assume they spent it last night and won’t suspect a thing.

Is that a quote from me? ‘Cause honestly, I don’t remember half the things I say. I made it back with the help of my favorite person and her blonde. Well, her other blonde. I’ll keep that in mind for next time, tho.