melody caraballe

former blog: "pakalmot" this is my new blog

[nosebleedclub]

Discussion 6/10/16

1. Who lives when it’s all over 2. Father’s suit 3. Storm preparations 4. June routine 5. Places you don’t want to see again

[bubblegumchest-blog]

1. the house is no longer yours. everything my eyes see is mine. the memories, whether they are worthy to remember or not, they are all mine. this skin i am wearing will remain the same. the same skin i was wearing the first day i realized that i am in love with you. together will all the ugly memories, dreams and promises, i will move forward. this time, my world will be at peace.

2. i am trying to erase all the screaming and tears that happened that night. i just want to love you while i still can. i want to remember all the beautiful things you've done. and i am okay whenever i think that in another universe, you stay. your arms are always warm and that you love us sincerely.

3. i stopped preparing for things i cannot control. i just want the earth to swallow me in any way possible.

4. places where we used to laugh over funny stories. places where i can hear your voice clearly.

[bubblegumchest-blog]

hello guys! since i am still sad about my blog (pakalmot) i just spent time writing a small collection of poems. thank you for supporting the first ebook i published. love you! 

you can read the new ebook (FOR FREE!) HERE

[nosebleedclub]

Discussion 5/27/16

1. fearless light 2. milk with ice 3. scuffed linoleum 4. clean teeth 5. brewed dandelions

[bubblegumchest-blog]

1. you say i taste like sugar and cream, how can i tell you i am so much more than just sweetness? with my small fists, soft palms i can destroy myself within seconds--- i am not afraid. the graveyard within me is more than willing to welcome you with my arms, wide open, chest bleeding and mind with nothing to lose.

2. i hate how quiet it gets when we kiss. don’t you hear all the noises in me? i have an entire city inside me playing music whenever you place your lips against mine. i remember thinking how lovely it is to breathe the moment i know how living feels like--- i live breathing whenever we are together. i can feel the skies swallowing me. it makes me comfortable.

3. mother, i feel like my body isn’t for me anymore. i sure don’t remember the out of tune lullabies and i love yous, but i miss you and will certainly miss you even more. i apologize for the days i didn’t tell you how much you matter to me--- your happiness is my happiness and i am so sorry for the broken heart and failed relationship. you are brave and i love you.

4. i hope you are sorry for all the things you did. you left ugly marks and for sure, the earth will haunt you with all the horrible things you did.

5. you asked my what’s in my head and i didn't tell you that i sometimes love the idea of standing on the edge of a building and seeing myself falling--- i think it’s what they call freedom. 

[bubblegumchest-blog]

MY FORMER BLOG IS: PAKALMOT

BUT I WAS FORCED TO CREATE A NEW BLOG BECAUSE TUMBLR CAN’T HELP ME GAIN BACK MY ACCESS TO THAT ACCOUNT WHICH IS QUITE SAD BECAUSE I’VE BEEN USING THAT SINCE 2009. I AM TRYING TO FOLLOW THE BLOGS I USED TO FOLLOW. PLEASE HELP ME OUT. SEND ME A MESSAGE BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER EVERYBODY. THANK YOU <3

[bubblegumchest-blog]

soothe me, pablo & love me with your bad poetry, cigarette and unfinished artworks; that might save your life-- bless me with your long lullabies silly gestures, you. a boy who knows too well how to stop the bleeding but isn't good enough to be gentle to himself-- the world needs you. the universe inside me is madly in love with you.

pablo , 2016

[nosebleedclub]

Discussion 4/22/16

1. There is still something worth fighting for 2. Sharp knife field guide 3. Your parent’s guest room is always locked 4. The pond behind the high school 5. Yellow flowers

[bubblegumchest-blog]

1. 8 years of kisses behind the doors, inside our bedroom, under the night skies, and inside a home be built out of each other’s warmth– we made it out alive because of honest, drunk messages and soft, gentle words when we were sobber. i have known you longer than i shall ever know the green grass in the city, the old melodies with soppy words, falling in love with you made me want to beg for more time and mornings.

2. during the day, remember that everything is undefined– you have to be careful not to let anybody touch your neck, be careful not to let them kiss your back. you need to go home safely. your wounds are still bleeding.

3. “don’t be suicidal, i love you and i will be home sooner than you think”— and she was. and she was still breathing, she stopped reading her suicidal notes and started thinking of how she didn’t appreciate the word “love” and its power to save a life.

4. dear mother, today i kissed a girl and we laughed after. not because it felt silly but because it was so good that we kissed once more. it felt so good that we wanted to do it in front of our teacher but we agreed to kiss each other secretly– i thought it would be nice to call her before i go to sleep.

5. sun kissed skin, bubblegum dress, with our swollen knees, we walked slowly and the ocean kissed our feet.

[arkelune]

wolf girl,  vague, brave, serene. laughing at bad jokes singing along to sad songs, watching the lights above her bed, asking endless questions; some are obvious some are unsure. she tries to fit four rings on one of her fingers like how she bends her body on the couch because the bed feels wide and it scares her. red knees, swollen elbows, strong bones. she puts flowers on her hair, wears her favorite blue dress, she is lonely. she reminds herself everyday how bad her poetry is when she’s honest and how unbelievably good it is when she’s lying.  wolf girl, trying to sleep with the lights on. trying to stay alive for the next few months, maybe years, who knows? wolf girl, reading her favorite book for the seventh time the words are no longer painful & her heart is no longer aching at the part where the characters are slowly leaving, love’s gone, everyone is waiting– for nothing.  wolf girl, and her lies. her heart. her fears. wolf girl breathing with red lipstick stains on her shirt, let her live. she’s asking to be alive. you have to let her live.

/ m.c 

[bubblegumchest-blog]

[ & then you started whispering my name]

it happens at 8 in the evening, in the middle of a thunderstorm we, are no longer asking each other the questions that used to matter. this time, i am not in love with the sound of the rain and i feel scared and sad at the same time, i can’t help but tremble. it feels like we are slowly fading away and it’s more painful than how i thought it’d be---

maybe, i am not the girl you fell in love with anymore because this time, my hands are blue and cold. i know i taste like another color, i used to taste like arctic skies, my edges are sharp, i no longer listen to the songs you are listening to. i started listening to the songs i like, i started feeling like i am growing slowly; without you.

[bubblegumchest-blog]

MY FORMER BLOG IS: PAKALMOT

BUT I WAS FORCED TO CREATE A NEW BLOG BECAUSE TUMBLR CAN’T HELP ME GAIN BACK MY ACCESS TO THAT ACCOUNT WHICH IS QUITE SAD BECAUSE I’VE BEEN USING THAT SINCE 2009. I AM TRYING TO FOLLOW THE BLOGS I USED TO FOLLOW. PLEASE HELP ME OUT. SEND ME A MESSAGE BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER EVERYBODY. THANK YOU <3

[achingchest]

hi everyone. i never do this but i want to ask a huge favor of you all: please follow this beautiful writer, @bubblegumchest (formally @pakalmot). losing your blog is the absolute worst feeling and she deserves every note she got on her old account. she writes too beautifully for her follower count to be reset to 0.

[bubblegumchest-blog]

thank you so much, love :-(

[arkelune]

you are too good to be true. with your dark hair, brown skin, warm eyes that brighten up when you call my name and do things that tell me how madly in love i am with you. sometimes, i remind myself that you are real and you are mine. you’re not the boy that exists in books, you are real and i can kiss your lips until it’s pink, until we both gasp for air to breathe; i remind myself all the time: you are mine. you are here. we are in love.

a sunset series // m.c (via pakalmot)

NEW BLOG 

[nosebleedclub]

Discussion 5/13/16

1. Rustic 2. Soft books for 2016 3. What will happen to them 4. Found family 5. New adventure

[bubblegumchest-blog]

1. i hope you can still hear the slow melodies, up there. sometimes when i talk to the moon, i imagine you are sitting on top of it since we both know how much you love the evening sky and you used to say that you’d love to kiss the moon if possible. i want you to know that your bedroom is still empty because we are all expecting for your return. we miss you everyday and we really want to see you soon.

2. fairytales are stories about a boy and a girl falling in love with one another, fueling up the warm feelings the younger you are yet to understand. but somewhere. a young girl is kissing her pretty friend, a young boy is writing a love letter for the boy who’s always eating alone. and they all exist--- beautifully. they are about to tell raw stories of falling in love, and i hope the world is ready.

3. they will discover how powerful they are when they are happy and how everytime they are lonely, good things will be on their way.

4. songs that sound like they were written for you--- songs that tell your stories and giving you a lot of reasons to hold on, teaching you to fall in love with strangers, teaching you to love yourself even more.

5. kisses under the night sky, long drives, ugly songs with catchy beats, movies that will remind you of your past but will remind you how great your life is.

[bubblegumchest-blog]

MY FORMER BLOG IS: PAKALMOT

BUT I WAS FORCED TO CREATE A NEW BLOG BECAUSE TUMBLR CAN’T HELP ME GAIN BACK MY ACCESS TO THAT ACCOUNT WHICH IS QUITE SAD BECAUSE I’VE BEEN USING THAT SINCE 2009. I AM TRYING TO FOLLOW THE BLOGS I USED TO FOLLOW. PLEASE HELP ME OUT. SEND ME A MESSAGE BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER EVERYBODY. THANK YOU <3

[arkelune]

you said the metal inside your leg makes it hard for you to move when it’s cold and i wonder how to hold you whenever you remember how big your scar is and that it will always be “ugly” and how much you hate the idea that you are no longer made of pure flesh and bones and i tell you— “you are so much more. inside you is an entire ocean and skies and fields, blue and warm at the same time - unexplored places full of stories - curves & edges, red, green & blue- you are a dream filled with strong shades of purple- mixed déjà vus of warm conversations - you, smell like the bed sheet that lulls us to sleep- you have the earth inside you.” i wonder if my love is genuine enough to cover your scar for a while. i badly want to protect you.

i try to softly tell you how much i love you / m.c (via pakalmot)

[theprocast]

january is  for the girl i love with heartaches under her shirt, dreams above her bed and a graveyard when she’s sleeping; waiting for her heart to beat calmly – after her third cup of coffee. february is for mothers with quiet sobbing inside the bedroom that was once for two. for mothers who know too well how to wait, with their heavy hearts and brave souls– we love you, sorry. you deserve so much more. i hope the calm nights are on their way to stop you from crying before you go to sleep. march is for my friends i lost along the way. from unanswered messages to hospital rooms with mixed scent of death & hope– i pray for more days, forgiveness, smiles and old songs that will remind us the happy days. we will see you again. april is for people who cry because they think that their dreams are dead and it’s too late to try again– no. you’re wrong. your dreams are waiting for you. your dreams believe in what you can do. it’ll never be too late for you to get up! may is for funny stories, favorite kisses, god-given hands across our skin– red lips, dream catchers, a bottle of vodka while listening to slow songs. night skies and phone conversations reminding you how lovely it will be to be alive once again.

so far, 2016 is an okay year for me. i hope you are well/ m.c  (via pakalmot)