Joel 'n a poke | A Supernatural x TLOU crossover crackfic (x reader)
Author's note: This is literally for shits and giggles considering I'm 1.) watching SPN for the first time ever in my life and 2.) today is Tuesday AND April Fools. That's it. The Winchester's are ruining my life and Joel will be back soon so enjoy this. As always, thank you to @pedgito @amanitacowboy & @gracieheartsspedro for entertaining this late night idea I had last night and telling me to do it. KEEP THE WHIMSY AND SILLY ALIVE. (i'm only on season 5 PLEASE do not spoil anything for me)
content warning: A lil blood, lotta death. Based on Season 3 Episode 11, y'know the one. It's just for fun so please keep the panties out of a twist over it! Thanks <3
Word count: 2.3K || divider credit ||
7:30 AM and your eyes shoot open, staring up at the blank ceiling. You were never awake this early but something felt different, off, this time.
Joel steps out of the bathroom with his blue toothbrush hanging from his mouth, mustache dripping in water.
“Let’s rock n roll, superstar. Got shit to do today.” The toothpaste foams in his mouth as he scrubs away.
You groan and roll back over, the sheets covering your head, “five more minutes, please?” You try to bargain with him when suddenly you feel a wave of cold air over your body.
Shrieking in surprise, you sit up and look at Joel, laughing as he drops the blankets on the floor and making his way back to the bathroom to rinse.
“You’re gonna miss Tuesday's breakfast special if you stay in bed, let’s go!”
Once you make it to the restaurant, you take a seat at the counter and Joel sits next to you, the waitress already bringing your normal order consisting of a glass of orange juice and a cup of steaming coffee for Joel.
He looks over the newspaper when you hear two men arguing behind you, the one looking frustrated while the other one scarfs his food down, brows furrowed and an attitude the size of the ocean.
“What do you mean we’ve lived this already, Sammy? I die every single time?” His eyes narrow as he shoves a sausage into his mouth, chewing ferociously.
“Yes, Dean. That’s exactly what I’m saying, alright? This is like the twentieth time I’ve watched you pig out and every time ends with you dying and that’s when I wake up again in the motel” the taller one pleads.
Is this why you felt off this morning?
The waitress comes by to take your order and she scribbles it down before walking to the kitchen window to drop the ticket off, Joel looking at you a bit concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I just….those guys back there, they were talking about something and the one said he’s-“
You’re cut off by the sound of someone choking, realizing it’s the man in the booth behind you. Shouting erupts and the one you assumed was Sam, jumps up to give him the hymlick, when suddenly you were back in your bed, eyes shooting open once more.
“Let’s rock n roll, superstar. Got shit to do today” Joel murmurs with his toothbrush in his mouth.
Didn't you do this already?
You try and shake off that weird feeling once more and get dressed after trying to beg Joel for five more minutes but he won’t spare any time. He holds the door open for you and you walk inside to sit at the counter, your eyes falling on the newspaper laying there with yesterday's date.
“Oh, Sherrie, can we get today's paper, please? This is yesterday” you ask the waitress behind the counter before sitting down on the stool.
She holds the piping hot glass decanter and looks at you confused, “that is today's paper, kiddo. Tuesday.”
The two men in the booth behind you start to have a heated conversation, one you swear you’ve heard before.
“Dean, listen to me, okay. I know I sound crazy but you gotta trust me, man” the taller one with longer hair pleads as he types away on his laptop, looking something up.
You turn around to see their faces when the other one meets your gaze, grinning at you. Before you know it, he’s walking over to you and sits right down in the spot next to you.
“I’m Dean, nice to meet you. Noticed you staring and I thought I’d come over and-“
You cut him off and walk over to the booth he was just sitting in, the other man looking up at you.
“Well yeah, actually I was listening to what he was saying and I don’t think you’re crazy-“ you sit down and look at him intensely, “I feel like I’ve been here too. It should be Wednesday but it’s Tuesday. Something isn’t right.”
Joel calls your name to come back but you ignore him, you need to help them.
“I’m Sam, that’s Dean, my brother.” He moves the laptop out of the way hesitantly and shakes your hand.
You tell him your name and Joel’s, Dean eying him up and down, judging his outfit. You admit in your head that Dean just seems like a younger version of Joel kind of, the outfits are almost exact anyway.
“Can I at least eat my breakfast before I go saving more people?” Joel spins in the stool entirely to look at you.
“Listen, grandpa, we don’t need saving. We’ve got it under control” Dean groans, seeming a little frustrated you wanted to talk to Sam and not him.
Joel looks at Dean, tongue in cheek, ready to snap when Sherrie comes from behind the flapping door to the kitchen, your hot plates on the counter. You wave for Joel to come sit over here with you and Sam so you can figure this out. The annoyance on his face makes you beg more, patting the spot next to you.
He grabs the plates and nods at Dean to grab the cups of orange juice and coffee, following to the table and setting the food down before scooting in next to you. Dean puts the cups down and stands there, waiting for Sam to move in towards the window.
“Oh, sorry” Sam apologizes and stands up to let Dean inside, but that wasn’t what he wanted his brother to do.
“You’re off your rocker if you think I’m sitting inside, go.” His deathly serious tone over a seat makes you want to laugh but you opted against it and eat your breakfast, the awkwardness making it that much funnier.
Sam shakes his head and they begin to argue with each other and push one another into the seat, the table beginning to shake. Joel’s coffee almost spills over the brim of the glass and that was enough for him to be finished with this petty argument between these two ass hats.
“That’s enough! Sit your boney asses down and explain this to me before I take my breakfast to go” Joel barks and points his fork at the empty spot across from him.
Smoothing out his jacket, Dean pushes Sam into the booth for the final time and pushes the laptop out of the way so he can rest his forearms on the table. Everyone gives a shared look around the table before Sam continues to explain what’s been going on and how he can maybe stop it.
“You think Bobby would know what to do?” Dean asks, his eyes squinting slightly at his brother, awaiting his answer.
Joel’s ears perk up at the mention of that name and his hand raises slightly, just enough to pause their talking, “Bobby? Bobby Singer?”
Dean and Sam look at each other, then at you and Joel.
“How do you know Bobby?” Sam asks, and you look to Joel, wondering who this Bobby guy was, considering you’ve never heard Joel mention him before.
“Let’s just say he’s an old friend. Son of a bitch, you two are the Winchester boys, aren’t you?”
Nodding in unison, Dean grins and sets his comically large knife on the table, zeroing in on Joel.
“Listen you son of a bitch, if this is some kind of trick you’re playing, I will kill your ass. What are you, huh? What do you want?” Dean's growl sends a chill down your spine as his brother tells him to put the knife away, that he was making a scene.
And boy, did it. The cop just walking in got a glimpse of the shiny knife on the table and immediately drew his gun, yelling at him to stand up slowly. Dean didn’t take too kindly to the demands which causes even more panic as everyone starts to yell and shout, not even knowing the entire story. The cop without warning fired off the gun, shooting Dean in the chest three times. Sam groans loudly and the two of you know what’s coming next.
“Let’s rock n roll, superstar. Got shit to do today” Joel murmurs with his toothbrush in his mouth.
Doing everything the same way as you keep having to do, you march into the diner and scoot Dean over, immediately spilling the beans to Sam. Dean’s eyes bounce back between you and his younger brother as he tries to follow the conversation but is ultimately confused. Joel stands next to you, hand on his hip as he tries to make sense of this right along with Dean. To them it probably sounds like you and Sam are crazy, speaking in tongues and losing your mind.
“So, how do we keep me from dying since you two are somehow synced into this?” His index finger and pinky point simultaneously at you and Sam, who also had no idea what to do.
Joel grabbed an empty chair and pulled it up to the table, intently listening to you ramble on about theories and ways to keep Dean alive, to beat whatever this was.
“I don’t think I was supposed to realize we’re living the same day because you keep dying but I swear to god if you die one more time, Dean…” you threaten, not wanting to hear Joel tell you to get up for another time.
But you did.
Many times.
Because Dean died five more times.
Sam stepped on a crack walking back to the motel and it broke Dean’s back instantly starting the day over.
Then there was the time he so confidently said, “I'm not gonna die. A damn tornado would have to pop out of nowhere for me to believe that shit!” and suddenly it got super dark outside, windy like you’ve never seen and a cow flies by the restaurant window you were sitting by. The window broke as the tornado came right through and sucked Dean up. He was for sure a goner.
How about the one where you and Joel let Sam and Dean follow back to your house and to pass the time, you started to arm wrestle everyone. Dean died by an asthma attack caused by laughing so hard at you beating Sam.
Needless to say, this wasn’t easy for any of you. Sam was growing restless, and so were you, knowing Joel was having a “who’s more of a man” off with Dean. The way they would dig at each other was comical. Joel would smack the back of Dean’s head when you and Sam weren’t looking and one time he did it too hard, killing the Winchester.
Back to square one and with zero help from Bobby, it was just the four of you. Any time you tried to change the course, keep Dean inside and strapped to the bed, followed by some lude comments from him, it never worked. The magic fingers shocked him and roasted him like a pig roast.
It restarted the day once more, dragging your ass to the restaurant, where you didn’t see the Winchester’s anywhere.
“Sherrie, where are the boys who sit there? The two brothers?” you ask, drinking your orange juice she had poured for you.
Her red lips frown a tad and her shoulder raises as she shrugs, not sure what exactly you wanted her to say.
“Not sure sweetheart, the ones here yesterday asking about my pig ‘n a poke? Think they left.” She turns away to go refill her coffee decanter and your brows knit together, scrambling to find a newspaper.
WEDNESDAY EDITION
The bold letters at the top bring a slight grin to your face and you tell Joel you’ll be right back, that you forgot your phone at the house. Running down the street to the motel, you see the black impala still in the parking lot and you look for room 69. Your knuckles beat against the ugly teal door, boots stomping over and flinging the door wide open.
“We don’t need room service, thanks anyway” he states rudely and begins to close the door on you, when Sam sees you standing there on the pavement.
“Dean, stop. Wait a second.”
Sam rushes over and hugs you, telling you they did it. Somehow it sorted itself out and there wasn’t a loop anymore.
“Thank you for the help, I know it’s not easy believing these things but trust me, you helped” he whispers as he lets you go and you nod, tucking your hands in your pockets.
“I just hope I never experience that again, it sucked ass. So now where are you headed?” you ask, kind of hoping they’d stick around a little longer.
Sam shakes his head, looking at Dean in the other room making kissy faces as he points to you secretly, mocking his brother. “I’m not sure, that’s just a part of the job, unfortunately.”
Your mouth opens to respond but you’re interrupted by Dean beginning to walk towards the middle of you, “I don’t know what’s going on here but we gotta get moving. Breakfast is calling my name! A pig ‘n a poke, maybe!” he jokes, rubbing his belly slightly.
“It’s not Tuesday, Dean. C’mon that’s not funny.” Sam bites, not wanting to repeat yesterday ever again.
“Check your phone, bitch” Sam retorts, smirking and looking at you.
Looking up in terror, Sam turns the phone to you and at the top, it has yesterday's date. The anxiety running in your body makes you cover your mouth in horror, already wondering how the diner had Wednesday’s paper. You didn’t even check the date.
Fuck.
Sam starts to panic and asks Dean how he feels, patting him down and checking his pulse. He erupts into a fit of laughter seeing the look on your faces, his younger brother confused what’s funny.
“April Fools, man! I changed the date on your phone! Damn, what’s with the sticks up the asses today?”
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